DM: There we go.
Aerendyl: I get Juju on that beat.
Aragorn: hi dm-bot choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo sorry I’m
DM: We’re missing somebody.
Aragorn: done choo choo choo choo
Aragorn: close-up give me that look of despair
DM: All right.
Aerendyl: Welcome.
Aragorn: you can’t look at me like only my pookie Nate can.
Aragorn: Nate I love you
Shain: When you fail concentration on a spell like Smokescreen.
DM: Okay, um, bap bap bap, let’s see, TLDR this, I’m gonna see what AI can do with this, see.
Solvar: Yeah, all the time.
Aragorn: If you can hold that face for that long, I assume you do it to me all the time.
Caitlin: Yeah.
Shain: Totally legitimate.
DM: After exiting a cave, the party found themselves in a sparsely populated forest of Koldera.
Aragorn: time.
Solvar: Bye-bye.
DM: magical compass, they confirmed their location and decided to travel east towards civilization
Shain: Compass.
Aerendyl: you
DM: or the ocean.
DM: To speed up their travel, the party summoned a carriage pulled by their warhorse.
Caitlin: Bye-bye.
DM: Shayne Everon used the spell Haste II, causing them to travel very quickly and it made Sylvar
DM: sick.
DM: After two days, they saw smoke in the distance and arrived at a small village called
DM: Crumbleton.
DM: Upon arriving, they were challenged by a large centaur, a half-orc named Roz Iceroar.
DM: Orm interrupted the fight and introduced himself.
Aragorn: you
DM: He was a nice older man.
Caitlin: you
DM: He informed you guys, basically, that if you challenged anybody to a house and won the fight,
DM: then you would be allowed to obviously live there, temporarily at least, which you guys did.
DM: and immediately took a house and had a nice long rest.
DM: However, before the long rest,
Solvar: Thank you.
DM: you guys decided to figure out why everybody was so afraid to stay out after dark,
Shain: Okay.
Shain: Yeah.
DM: and you guys saw multiple wraiths, like, disappear, reappear.
DM: You were able to capture and
DM: kill one of them, right?
DM: But all else being equal, nothing else seemed to have changed.
DM: Um, and it is now the next day?
DM: Um, it is now morning, yes.
DM: The day is now November 35th at 6am.
Solvar: you
Shain: 6am.
Shain: Okay, long rest then real quick because I’m missing a single spell slot.
DM: Oh no, not missing the spell slots!
DM: sluts, you’re missing first and fifth.
Shain: I don’t know
Shain: why.
Shain: That’s not what I wanted for music.
Shain: That’s definitely not what I wanted.
Shain: That’s Astral
Shain: Seadog.
Shain: We’re not in the Underswim.
Aragorn: I step outside, butter are they gone?
Shain: So, essentially, we all went into the thing because we’re hiding because of multiple thousands
Shain: of Wraiths, potentially, outside.
DM: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Caitlin: Not anymore, it’s day, obviously they’re gone.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: Yeah, they’re probably, hopefully.
DM: Well, as you guys kind of awake and kind of head towards the door, you guys do hear fighting
Shain: So
Shain: A lot a lot of people like 30 people or two people
Caitlin: It’s daytime.
Caitlin: You die.
Aragorn: BYE BYE
DM: outside.
DM: Very clearly, grunts, swords clashing, just a lot of noise of fighting coming to you from
Solvar: Silence.
Aerendyl: No, no, I have a leg, I have a leg, I have a leg, I have a leg, I have a leg, I have
DM: outside the front door.
Caitlin: You
DM: From what you can tell, it’s pretty loud, so probably multiple people.
DM: If you were to guesstimate, maybe 10-15 people.
Shain: Um
Aragorn: Charlotte’s my battle buddy.
Shain: Okay
Shain: Dragon has I know something happened to his arms because that’s a bad thing that happened
Shain: But your leg so you need a support buddy.
Shain: All right
Aerendyl: I have a leg on now.
Shain: Oh, I see
Aerendyl: I can walk, you just see me limping.
Shain: So you need a baby support buddy aka
DM: I’m a big kid.
Shain: But I’m your support buddy.
Aerendyl: I don’t need a support buddy, I’m a man.
Aerendyl: An elf.
Shain: Okay, uh, fine, then I will, um, I will open the door just a crack to see if there’s anything
Aragorn: Thank you.
Aragorn: Bye-bye.
Solvar: You
DM: All right, as you kind of peek outside, you, no.
Shain: going on.
Caitlin: Let’s make some of these strength checks as you get bombed by all of them
Shain: I wouldn’t mind.
DM: As you kind of peek outside, you see, right outside your front door, two centaurs going
DM: at it.
Aragorn: The centaur?
DM: One of them is clearly the one that you fought the day before.
DM: Yes, Andrew!
Shain: He’s saying chew.
DM: Yes.
Aragorn: The same one?
DM: The same one.
Aragorn: Hmm.
Aerendyl: Don Walker.
Shain: The quote-unquote, you fly, aka, you.
DM: Oh yes, they are, since both of them specialize in a spear, they are charging at each other
Aragorn: Are they very onerous in terms of dueling?
Caitlin: Walk up on Rick and bend his kneecaps.
Aragorn: Or can I chuck a shield at the other one?
Aragorn: Can I, can I slide of hand?
DM: with the spear, literally jousting, trying to push over the other one or impale them
Aerendyl: you
DM: and then turn around and then again, back and again.
Caitlin: Are these real, are these real spears, or are these like flat end spears like for practice?
Aragorn: Oh.
Shain: Hey, everyone, what are you going to do while you have a rock in your hand?
Aragorn: Oh, so they’re like jousting, yeah.
DM: They are, I mean, since they’re for jousting,
DM: they essentially have a big wooden ending on the pole,
DM: made to push them over, not to impale them and kill them.
DM: Um, sure, uh, you totally can.
Aragorn: Hey butter, can I sleight of hand throw a rock at, not the one that we fought, but the
Caitlin: Making sure that I’m trying to kill each other, bro.
Aerendyl: What do you have a slingshot?
Aragorn: other one?
Aragorn: To like, have him trip?
DM: Why do you have a rock in your head?
Aragorn: Breaking windows Shane
Shain: You know, if we can avoid violence, just, uh, I mean, no, we can’t, we can’t, I can’t
Aragorn: Okay
Aragorn: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that’s an 18 that’s an 18 other
DM: Alright, I almost certainly don’t have to roll for this, but we’ll roll anyway.
Caitlin: you
Shain: just turn one of them into a little tiny mouse.
Solvar: Bye.
Aragorn: You never know
Aragorn: The one I didn’t.
DM: You just kind of toss a rock at the- which one are you aiming for, the one you fought
DM: or the one you didn’t?
DM: The one you didn’t.
DM: As you just kind of underhand toss it right at the right spot, the other one kind of steps
Shain: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
DM: on it and slips backwards as he kind of falls down a little bit.
Aragorn: I’m accomplished.
DM: And the other one rams him with the jousting spear, causing him to fall back on his side.
Aragorn: You know, Nate, even with wooden spears, I think they’re still trying to kill each other.
Aragorn: They just haven’t taken off the sheaths.
Aragorn: Bludgeoning damage by a spear.
DM: He turns around and the one that you fought, um, looks down and says,
Shain: I was gonna, I was gonna say, really?
Caitlin: Yeah, do you guys think they have money?
DM: Oh, that’s my 132nd consecutive win!
Aerendyl: I’m going to start clapping.
Aragorn: Whoa
Aragorn: Yeah, I’m gonna start clapping I’m gonna start clapping clapping these cheeks
DM: He turns and says, Yes!
DM: It was a good fight.
Caitlin: You guys think they have money?
Aragorn: Yeah, my part oh shit
Aerendyl: No.
Aerendyl: Fuck.
Shain: Oh
Caitlin: Hey, you want to have a crossover event?
DM: No.
Aragorn: If only we had a really fast cheetah like cat person who could steal all this town’s gold in a matter of a second
Solvar: Hey, Nate, hear me out.
Aragorn: Ah, what will we ever do?
Aerendyl: A war between worlds.
Aragorn: Hey
Solvar: Any gold I get here is actually just light bars.
Aragorn: So so hey name
Solvar: Yeah.
Aragorn: So
Caitlin: You want to have a fucking, a Fortnite live event?
Shain: So we have a problem.
Aragorn: No way, no way.
DM: Hey, yo, hear me out, hear me out.
Aerendyl: Wait, hold up.
DM: A bag of holding, but it’s just a wormhole to your campaign.
Caitlin: Yo, wait, yo, yo, wait.
Aragorn: You have- you don’t know what you’re asking for here.
Aerendyl: Oh no.
Shain: Hey, butter, you’re going to roll on the table, I’m sorry.
Caitlin: Put her slide into my DMs, we’ll have a little chat.
Aragorn: pudding.
Aragorn: The dodecahedron.
DM: Oh no, which table?
DM: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I haven’t used that in a while.
Aerendyl: Dick.
Shain: Not the not the temporal, no, not that one.
Solvar: Silence.
Shain: It’s the it’s the one where if I use dunamancy spell and it rolls a 1 or 12
Aerendyl: You
Caitlin: you
Aragorn: Oh no, oh no, oh no.
Shain: Yeah
Aragorn: He’s gonna start eating grass again.
Shain: No, this is worse because this is a been a minute because I do it every day because I’m like hey there’s combat
Aragorn: Mmm guys Shane’s gonna die
Shain: Shane’s like, okay.
Shain: Let me just apply my spell for the day
Shain: Honestly, this would be the perfect way to go out
DM: Oh, no, that’s the wrong table.
Shain: Wrong table.
DM: Oopsies.
Shain: Retry.
Shain: My name is Retap, and I am evil.
Aerendyl: No!
Caitlin: My name is Retap and I hate napkins.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Why did you get him into that?
DM: Okay.
Shain: No, that was Peyton.
DM: All righty.
Aerendyl: Why did Aiden do that?
Shain: That was Peyton.
Shain: Why did you get a single laugh?
Aerendyl: Ho ho ho ho ho, yes?
Aragorn: Oh
Shain: Why?
Shain: My name is Retap, and I am evil.
Caitlin: My name is Retap.
Shain: Okay, what’s the damage, okay, yes, yes, what do you mean?
Aragorn: My name is retard and I hate it we’re done
DM: All right, so just making sure, this is casting on yourself, so you’re both the caster and
Aerendyl: My name is Retired.
Aerendyl: Retarded.
Aerendyl: Or it’s haunted.
Solvar: oh hell yeah hell yeah eat the whole bag
Caitlin: That’s a glove that you’re going to get the most attention for that one.
DM: the target.
Aragorn: Hey Nick
DM: Ah, crap, okay.
Shain: Okay, you shouldn’t let me know the time, but that’s fine.
Aragorn: you
DM: the only way to the only way to interpret this as you cast the spell you
Aerendyl: Snack size.
DM: just feel your hand basically magnetized to your body and you are unable to move
Aerendyl: you
Caitlin: I stab Flex.
DM: it in any way shape or form for the next four hours
Shain: I’m going to try to move my hand, and as they’re clapping, I’m going to get over to
Caitlin: I cut Flex’s hand.
Shain: Arundel, can you help take my hand off my chest, please?
Aragorn: Yes, and it’s true.
DM: As far as all of you guys are concerned, it’s basically like trying to pull two super magnets
Caitlin: I cast Wish.
Aerendyl: Shane, what the fuck?
Solvar: Thank you.
DM: away from each other.
Aragorn: Holy shit, you’re pulling a push door.
DM: It will not budge.
Shain: So, uh, this isn’t good, um, hey
Shain: All I know is sometimes it still freaks out.
Shain: I’m trying to get better every time I do it
Shain: I thought I could do better but apparently not
Aerendyl: How is it that our resident spellcaster is always incapacitated by his own spells?
Caitlin: you
Shain: Because I don’t know what I’m doing
Aerendyl: What do you mean you don’t know what you’re fucking doing?
Shain: Do you want to take the quantum physics of math and assign them to the stars and universe and potentially cause a quantum fallout
Shain: you
Aerendyl: What is quantum physics?
Shain: I don’t know!
Aerendyl: What are you gonna do now?
Aerendyl: E equals C equals Aether?
DM: In one ear, out the other.
Shain: EN equals C equals Aether?
Shain: I don’t know!
Shain: It’s a little scroll I read.
Shain: I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing or not.
Shain: All I know is I think I have some kind of repercussion in the timeline.
Shain: And I need to get out of here.
Aragorn: Bite a child.
Shain: Aren’t you supposed to be intelligent?
DM: Anyways, uh, the rest of you, um, as you’re kind of watching the fight unfold, um, and
Shain: I’m just kidding, man.
Shain: I’m going to go ahead and do that.
Aerendyl: you
DM: with the victor, uh, you kind of look around and you notice that the entire village is
DM: basically fighting with each other.
DM: Um, this is seemingly a normal occurrence.
Caitlin: You are not, you are not the one, you are not the one, you are not the one, you are
DM: Even the younger children are fighting with wooden swords.
DM: I mean, you could certainly ask.
Aragorn: Can I fight a child?
Shain: I thought that was, uh, I thought that was Aragorn’s like one thing he won’t do is harm
DM: They would probably allow it, given from what you’ve seen.
Aragorn: Nate shou- Nate…
Aragorn: Should we fight a child?
Aerendyl: Only human children.
Aragorn: Should we do a 2v2?
Aragorn: Us versus two children?
Shain: a child.
Aragorn: Yeah, but we’re, we’re
Aragorn: We’re lawful good
Solvar: You
Caitlin: You are not the lawful good asking the other lawful good to attack a child, right?
Aragorn: But we’re lawful good
Aragorn: So, trial by
Aerendyl: Um.
Caitlin: I’m hanging out with my boyfriend right now, so
DM: Yeah.
Aragorn: But, trial by combat.
Aerendyl: Um, hey butter.
Shain: Thank you.
Caitlin: They would die
Aerendyl: Is there that old guy that we talked to yesterday?
Aragorn: Exactly.
Aerendyl: Is he around here?
Aerendyl: Just watching?
DM: Make a perception check.
Aerendyl: Uh, 18?
Aerendyl: Aww.
Aerendyl: Uh, 18.
DM: 18.
DM: You notice that on the far side, so maybe like 70-ish feet from you, on the other side
DM: of the road, kind of in between two houses, he is currently having pretty much a mock
Aerendyl: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Aragorn: you
DM: battle with about six children.
Shain: A muckbang.
DM: They all have wooden swords and, for lack of a better way of putting it, you know those
DM: anime scenes where the powerful one says, hit me, I dare you, and just is blocking all
DM: of them?
Caitlin: Silence.
DM: That’s what he’s doing.
DM: It’s a wonderful sight until, behind him, you notice another fully adult, what appears
Aerendyl: Butter, can I, can I, can I, uh, how slow, how far away is the Goliath away from the
Aragorn: So it’s just like it’s like pointing to the other side and saying heads up
DM: to be a goliath, is crouching up, ready to punch him.
Shain: Hello.
DM: Did you want to call out, maybe warn him, or we’re just going to let him see, we’re
DM: We’re just going to see what happens.
Aerendyl: old man
DM: He seemed to have been relatively stealthy,
DM: so he’s only maybe like 15 feet behind him
DM: as he’s like slowly approaching.
Aerendyl: can I
Aerendyl: hmm I have an idea uh can I misty step via the Raven Queen blessing to get 30
DM: I’m going to need, uh, uh, for that one.
Caitlin: you
Aerendyl: feet closer use my grappling hook on a object that he’s walking up on to make a
Shain: I got a surprise for you.
Solvar: Okay.
Aerendyl: trip wire
DM: We’re gonna go probably, we’ll classify it as athletics check.
Aerendyl: Athletics check, okay.
Solvar: Bye-bye.
Solvar: Bye.
DM: It’s more like accuracy because you’re trying to hit a good spot that it holds for a trip
DM: bar.
Aerendyl: Does a dirty 20 work?
DM: It does indeed.
DM: As you teleport, the Goliath kind of creeps up, doesn’t really look where he’s walking,
Aerendyl: So I’m gonna teleport 30 feet, and I’m just gonna fuckin’ rip that shit, and hold tight.
Aerendyl: Can I reel it back in to hide my track?
DM: gets caught on it, and then SLAMS down right behind the old man.
Shain: Silence.
DM: The children immediately clock this and change their target from the old man to the Goliath.
DM: you see about six young children run
DM: over and start hitting him with a
DM: wooden sword.
DM: Absolutely, you can.
Aerendyl: Do I need to roll Sleight of Hand for that?
Aerendyl: Because it is a physical thing.
DM: Um, considering the fact that most people
Aerendyl: 19.
DM: are very busy with fighting, um, they
Solvar: Silence.
DM: probably wouldn’t notice anyway, but go
DM: ahead and roll the check.
DM: Okay, you kind of pull it up and you’re all good to go.
DM: Is anybody else doing anything as the entire, you know, small village is fighting at six
Aerendyl: You
DM: o’clock in the morning?
Shain: I mean, if it comes to it, and I mean, I’m not used to this kind of fighting.
Shain: This ain’t normal.
Shain: So like, can I try yelling over them to say,
DM: You could certainly do that.
Shain: WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?
Shain: I’M TRYING TO SLEEP!
Shain: IT’S SIX O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING!
Aerendyl: Megaphone?
Shain: Let me make a vocal check.
DM: Yeah, I don’t know what a vocal check would be.
Aerendyl: Who’s that, a megaphone?
Shain: I mean, I will.
DM: We’ll classify it as intimidation, even though it’s not really intimidation.
DM: The moment you do that, pretty much everybody just looks directly at you.
Caitlin: You
Shain: at 5 or 6 o’clock in the morning!
Shain: Sorry, it’s early!
DM: And they have the most dumbfounded look on their face, as though you are the stupidest
DM: person to ever talk.
Aerendyl: This is head-on pillow.
DM: As the old man kind of turns and starts walking towards you and he says,
DM: Young man, it’s quite rude to interrupt a duel.
Caitlin: .
Shain: I’m not from here.
Shain: I’m sorry.
Shain: Continue.
DM: The old man just turns around and says,
Shain: I’ll walk over I mean as long as it’s fine I’ll walk over to the guy the guy
Aerendyl: I’m going to go ahead and do that.
DM: it’s a duo, let’s start from the beginning.
DM: As everybody just kind of moves back
Aerendyl: Um,
DM: to what is almost like a rehearsed first positions
DM: and then starts fighting again.
Aerendyl: This is Shane’s worst nightmare.
Shain: Just speaking to me
Shain: By the way, I don’t know if you know what sarcasm is
DM: There wasn’t anything on the ground to pick up?
Shain: But um, it’s you didn’t pick up on it
Shain: I’m just going to say to him in Netherese, even the goblins in my world had more intelligence
Caitlin: Oh my God, it’s giraffes, dude.
DM: And then, just to surprise you, he responds with nothing, no, not really.
Aerendyl: a town full of dumb bitches.
Aerendyl: …
Shain: than you.
Shain: Oh, imagine!
Caitlin: I appear next to Flux and put my hand out for the dodecahedron.
Shain: I would-
Shain: Oh, lord.
Shain: Well, sir, I’m sorry to say, but I need some sleep.
Aragorn: But you just slept.
Aerendyl: I imagine
Caitlin: He responds to nothing.
Aerendyl: this whole town…
Caitlin: The reincarnation of Karsus is this fuck-ass bitch.
Aerendyl: This is the reincarnation
Aerendyl: incarnation of your whole race.
Aerendyl: They just didn’t belittle toothies.
Aerendyl: Um.
Shain: I’ve, it’s been a long journey.
Caitlin: I am looking for two things while this is occurring.
Shain: Can you guys do this somewhere else?
Aerendyl: We just, we just slept.
Shain: But I need more.
Shain: I have things to do.
Aragorn: But you…
Aragorn: But…
Aragorn: Just…
Aragorn: You just slept.
Shain: I need an excuse.
Aragorn: This is not an excuse!
DM: Yes, Nick.
Aragorn: We need to progress!
Aerendyl: you
DM: Mm-hmm.
Aragorn: Me.
Aragorn: I think that was the Goliath that we talked to?
Caitlin: I am looking for either a museum or the main man in charge.
DM: Okay.
Shain: Galitho.
DM: No, he was a half-orc.
Aragorn: Was he Goliath?
Aragorn: That’s what it was.
Caitlin: Or maybe not like a full-blown museum,
Aragorn: Like a town hall.
Caitlin: but like, this is where we keep the trophies
Caitlin: of our ancestors type of game.
DM: Gotcha.
Aragorn: So town hall, pretty much.
DM: Alright, um, yeah, you can go ahead and start looking around, go ahead and make an investigation
Shain: Yes, yes, yes, Gabby, cough, cough, 14, cough, cough, 14, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough,
Caitlin: People, tell them.
DM: check for me.
DM: Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely, yes, yes, yes.
Aragorn: Can I assist?
Aragorn: Pretty please.
Aragorn: Butter.
Aragorn: Yeah, yeah.
Aragorn: Butter yeah, yeah, well with advance a
Caitlin: Andrew, you’re coming with me?
Caitlin: Are we going together?
Caitlin: Andrew, what’s your investigation?
Aerendyl: You
DM: Okay, um, I’ll get back to you in just a minute.
Aragorn: Good question.
Aragorn: Let me real quick pull it up
Caitlin: Because it might be better for you to roll with advantage.
Caitlin: I only have a plus one.
Shain: Fourteen
Aragorn: I also have a plus one and you have the better dice.
Caitlin: I’ll roll with advantage.
Aragorn: Oh
Shain: Silence.
Caitlin: 17.
Caitlin: 16 plus one.
Caitlin: Was that a flamethrower?
Aragorn: No, no.
DM: But, uh, Shane, the old man just kind of turns, sorry, and looks at you and says,
Aragorn: It’s burning.
Shain: Uh huh.
Shain: No, not really.
DM: So, um, why are you guys here, exactly?
DM: You’re obviously not joining in the morning festivities.
Shain: I’m pretty sure that, uh, oh, where do we even begin?
Shain: Long story short,
Shain: we’re not in the right place, um, at the moment, or maybe we are, I don’t know.
Shain: I’m not in
Shain: right place.
Shain: you!
Shain: you need to get out of this place, that’s what i’m saying.
Shain: i’m not saying
Shain: that you- i mean, i like you, but i don’t like you, you know what i mean?
DM: You just said a lot of words that meant nothing.
Shain: anyways, before i dig
Shain: myself a deeper hole, think-
DM: You might be my son.
Shain: maybe?
Shain: Hey, what, uh, huh, hang on, help me, no, I’m definitely not.
Aragorn: You’re pretty good-looking for a son, Shane.
Aerendyl: The Denim Jeans!
Aragorn: I mean, have you seen this man?
Aragorn: He ascends from good genes.
Aragorn: Obviously, you being that handsome, you ascended from his genes.
DM: Please stop speaking.
Aragorn: The denim jeans.
Aragorn: The one he pulled his cock out from.
Shain: I don’t know why we’re here.
Aerendyl: I am Jeans!
Shain: Oh, by the way, I don’t know if I ever caught your name, sir.
Shain: I’m Shane.
Shain: You are?
Aragorn: Jeans.
Shain: Playing machines.
Shain: Aurum.
Shain: Hmm.
Shain: Oh, you mean Caffeine-3 Aurum?
Aragorn: American Eagle, I am Levi, and owner of Levi’s Jeans, I can’t pay 3, critical low, is he
Shain: We’re playing with machines.
Aerendyl: I am Sidney Sweeney, and I approve this message.
DM: My name is Aurum.
Shain: Aurum, hmm.
Shain: Oh, you mean campaign three, Aurum?
Shain: Um, well, Oram, I would love for you to tell me, uh, why do you guys fight so much?
Aerendyl: See a halfling with a sword.
Aragorn: Halfling?
DM: No.
Aragorn: Fuck!
Caitlin: halfling?
DM: Oh.
Caitlin: It’s Orm.
Caitlin: It’s Orm from campaign 3.
Caitlin: He’s not a halfling.
Aragorn: Is he at home?
Caitlin: See ya.
Aerendyl: you
DM: To get stronger, obviously.
DM: I don’t understand the question.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: training montage.
Shain: Outside of getting stronger, what is it
Shain: help with?
Aragorn: you
Caitlin: Thank you.
Shain: Anyone can go and like train but why fight each other other
Shain: than combat experience maybe.
DM: To learn from each other?
Shain: Okay, so you’re not trying to murder each other right now.
DM: No, of course not!
Shain: Okay.
Shain: I thought you were trying to, like, kill each other with, like, blunt force.
DM: No, no, no.
Shain: That’s why I was asking.
Shain: Okay, that makes more sense.
Shain: So this is like your family, then?
DM: We have a cleric at the other end of the village.
Aragorn: How big is their graveyard?
Caitlin: you
DM: They can patch—well, cleric-ish.
DM: They can patch anybody up just fine.
Shain: I’m… sure.
Shain: What… okay.
DM: Uh, yes, Andrew.
Aerendyl: Is that a burn pile?
Shain: I…
Shain: That’s good.
DM: Um, probably enough.
Aragorn: Hmm, do I see you weird patches of like, you know how like when you dig something up and
Shain: Well, Orm, do you have, like, a, you know,
DM: You don’t see a graveyard anywhere.
DM: I know exactly what you’re going for, and no, you don’t see any
Aragorn: then put dirt back in?
DM: strange, uh, piles.
Aragorn: Is there a burn pile?
DM: Not as far as you can see.
Aragorn: Oh, wow.
Aragorn: So they ascended godhood, all right.
DM: Oh, a leader.
Aragorn: When they die, they just get sent up.
Aragorn: Silence.
Shain: a leader that we can go talk to and help us get back to where we need to be, whatever
Shain: area.
Shain: I need a travel location.
Shain: Yes, your leader.
Shain: Leader of the town, leader of the
DM: Oh well.
Shain: city leader of the local peanut shop.
Aerendyl: Niefton.
Shain: I don’t know.
Shain: Warrior, captain, general.
Aragorn: you
DM: Not really.
Shain: What about your squaw?
Aerendyl: squabbled
Shain: All right, so you don’t have a leader then who makes the
Shain: decisions in your nation, is it anybody?
DM: I mean, the king makes all the big decisions.
Shain: There, that’s who it is, your king.
Shain: That’s the one word I didn’t think about.
DM: King Tundra, didn’t he tell you this yesterday?
Shain: Who’s your king?
Shain: Okay, Tuvda, yeah.
Shain: Where can I find him?
Aragorn: Yes, I nod my head
Shain: I don’t know.
DM: Alright, while you figure out what you want to say next, Nate, as you went kind of looking
Aerendyl: You
Aragorn: He’s cuckoo
Shain: Thank you.
DM: throughout the village, kind of pushing past and avoiding fights, you find a relatively
DM: larger building.
DM: It’s more well-constructed than the others.
DM: It’s definitely made to last
DM: a while.
DM: This one’s made mostly out of stone, whereas the other ones were made almost exclusively
DM: out of wood.
DM: As you kind of enter, it becomes pretty clear to you that this is where the
DM: people that are too injured go.
DM: These are, this is more like a hospital than anything else.
DM: But as you kind of look around you don’t see anything resembling trophies or anything like
Caitlin: Am I stupid and misunderstanding or did you just lead me to a hospital?
Shain: I forgot how my hand isn’t magnetized.
DM: that and you didn’t see anything like that inside the house that you guys were in either.
DM: Do you have any memories of the hospital you were in when you were a kid?
Aragorn: Are they dead?
Caitlin: It’s a homeless shelter.
Caitlin: Fucking, Butter, Butter, Butter, but only just.
Shain: Silence.
Aragorn: POV New York City.
Caitlin: Butter just directed me to a fucking park pavilion where a bunch of homeless people
Caitlin: just beat each other up for the last can of beans.
DM: It makes logical sense if you’re looking for a big building with trophies for you to go
Caitlin: Sure.
Caitlin: Is it?
Aragorn: Central Park.
Caitlin: Well, I am going to pay a NOM, Andrew.
DM: to the biggest stinking building in town and the only one that looks like it could be of
Solvar: Are you excited to go there on Friday, Nathan?
DM: any kind of importance.
Caitlin: I’ll let you know how many catalytic converters I make it out with.
Aerendyl: Let’s see if he finds his friend now.
Aragorn: Holy shit it’s Fayette-nom.
Aragorn: Let me know if you see homeless people fight.
Solvar: I would say you better come home with the catalytic converter or I’ll be very upset
Caitlin: How’d you get the past TSA?
Aragorn: Oh I took home 327 catalytic converters 2 mile.
Shain: I don’t like the way his eyes moved.
Aragorn: It costed 40 bucks.
Caitlin: What would you do if I unironically came home with like a catalytic converters to the back
Caitlin: of the Prius?
Caitlin: Good shit.
Solvar: I mean, we’d sell it.
Solvar: That’s what we’d do with it.
Solvar: No, you don’t.
Aragorn: I mean, yeah, black market.
Caitlin: I have a salsa.
Caitlin: We need to go to my dad’s first so I can steal his salsa and
Solvar: You’re cool.
Solvar: Alright, we’ll stop by on the way home.
Caitlin: then we’re good.
Aragorn: Me using a, me, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, me
Caitlin: What were we doing?
Caitlin: That’s right, the park pavilion with the homeless
Caitlin: people.
DM: I need to have a conversation with a dragon person.
Caitlin: Uh oh.
Solvar: Alright.
Shain: Bye-bye.
Solvar: Also, dude, I fully assume I’m just following you around.
Aragorn: using a chainsaw to take out the 500 and second.
Caitlin: Sir!
Solvar: Cool.
Solvar: Uh, I mean, here’s the thing, I’m either gonna follow you or look for food, so I figured
Caitlin: I didn’t know if you were following me or still hiding inside.
Caitlin: Do we know, can you even eat like real food or real organs just collapse?
Solvar: follow you is the slightly more interesting option.
Solvar: I’m hungry for food, is what I’ve learned, but I haven’t actually tried to consume anything
Caitlin: Like if you want an apple and you just fucking die on it.
DM: you
Solvar: that isn’t rotting flesh, so.
Solvar: Like I might just die.
Solvar: Also I’m almost done.
Solvar: I was just going to try to pan my thigh to the camera so you could see it, but no.
Aragorn: You
Caitlin: Not with everybody else in the group.
Solvar: More so, I was going to- I don’t know how that would work logistically.
Caitlin: We should get a picture of it.
Solvar: Hey, you’re not reasonable.
Aragorn: Me putting up my leg behind my head to show Nate my thigh on camera
Caitlin: If only we had an application that we both use specifically for sending pictures to each other.
Aragorn: Pornhub
Solvar: You mean not keep sending them to you on Discord?
Solvar: In my defense, we’re having a conversation on Discord, so it’s easier than pulling up
Shain: Oh, Andrew, okay, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, by the way.
Aragorn: E-sex.
Solvar: a separate application.
Solvar: What?
Aragorn: Did you know coffee spelt backwards is E-fuck?
Solvar: Wait, wait, what?
Solvar: What do you want about?
Solvar: No.
Solvar: Nate and I determined tonight that there’s a lot going on.
Solvar: I don’t know what’s going on.
Aragorn: Nicole, have you never seen that?
Aragorn: It’s this guy who’s like,
Aragorn: COFFEE SPELT BACKWARDS IS E-FUCK
Aragorn: AND I DON’T GIVE E-FUCK ABOUT YOU
Aragorn: I give-
Aragorn: i’m like
Solvar: of shit I haven’t seen, because Nate tried to pull up something that was like,
Solvar: you’ve seen this on TikTok, and I was like, I absolutely have not.
Aragorn: are you gooning or are you jelking?
Caitlin: Yeah, Andrew has.
Aragorn: are you a gooner or are you a jelker?
Aragorn: so you do know the difference!
Aragorn: yes, it’s very good.
Caitlin: Andrew, have you seen Whiplash?
Caitlin: It’s a good, it’s a good fucking movie.
Aragorn: very good.
Aragorn: to go on, ironically, one of the best jazz-oriented movies you will ever watch.
Caitlin: I
Caitlin: realized that I was like…
Caitlin: You know, I showed it to Glow and I realized, I was like, this probably shouldn’t be the
Solvar: I will say, it definitely did not make me want to watch the film, so…
Caitlin: scene that I should be trying to get cloned at fucking- fucking somewhere- oh my god what’s
Aragorn: Anyway,
Caitlin: the line?
Caitlin: Hang on I gotta fucking find it again.
Aragorn: Are you adjusting your seat?
Caitlin: Oh I need to request it.
Aragorn: Was the seat the problem the whole time?
Caitlin: Oh yeah the scene was the issue!
Caitlin: Oh.
Aragorn: It’s good, it’s good.
Caitlin: Hang on, hang on, I gotta- I gotta find it out, give me a second.
Aragorn: Basically, Glo, the whole plot of the movie is Miles Teller, who’s the drummer, is basically
Caitlin: Um.
Solvar: Mm-hmm.
Aragorn: trying to become a famous jazz musician on the drums.
Caitlin: You know why I just threw a chair at your head?
Solvar: Yeah.
Solvar: Yeah, we’ve also acknowledged, I don’t know who Mr. Simmons is.
Aragorn: And so, he’s pretty good at it in the start, like he’s more advanced than people, so he
Aragorn: gets into this class, and J.K.
Aragorn: Simmons is the teacher.
Aragorn: jk simmons character has he’s taught the whole thing is that he’s taught some of
Shain: Bye bye.
Aragorn: the greats right
Aragorn: yeah oh yeah
Caitlin: I want pictures of Spider-Man!
Solvar: That was a conversation that Nate and I had.
Solvar: I do not know who that man is.
Aragorn: that’s crazy
Caitlin: Here, Andrew, Andrew, this was the clip that I decided to show Bo that was like, this is
Aragorn: yeah you need
Caitlin: what we’ll get.
Caitlin: I’m sure Bo will like the movie.
Caitlin: This is the clip I chose.
Shain: you
Caitlin: Okay.
Solvar: Anyway, Nate, that’s what I spent the first part of D&D doing.
Aragorn: Anyways, Fox, what were you saying?
Shain: I was just going to say, so that we have a secret weapon because you were near me.
Solvar: Silence.
Aragorn: Oh, okay.
Shain: I just I hand you a tiny little bead and it has this like pulsating glow and basically
Aragorn: Have a great day, and God bless you all.
Shain: Shane says, use this when you need it.
Shain: Cool.
Shain: It’s going to turn you into a god, by the way, I’m just going to be honest.
Shain: I’m going to be honest.
Caitlin: Thank you.
Solvar: Bye bye.
Shain: range for uppercut.
Aragorn: I’m giving my vote to you.
Shain: For a good one too.
Shain: I’m just.
Shain: How I talk to my phone if it’s on.
Solvar: Okay.
Aragorn: you.
Caitlin: You upset
Shain: you
Caitlin: There’s the one where he calls him a faggot-lipped retard, where’s that scene, bro?
Aragorn: He calls him a retard at this, I don’t know when he calls him that.
Caitlin: I think it’s in this scene somewhere.
Solvar: It is, I saw it.
Aragorn: You
Caitlin: There it is.
Shain: bro thinks he’s a drill sergeant
Shain: bro why wait hang on pause pause why does that look like the guy who did blue’s clues
Caitlin: I guess he’s wearing a striped shirt.
Solvar: Thank you, I’m going to get it tattooed.
Aragorn: It’s not.
Shain: Nah, it’s the same guy without on his camera.
Aragorn: It’s not, Flux.
Aragorn: It’s not even the right shirt!
Caitlin: He’s wearing a green striped shirt and Flex goes, it’s the same guy.
Shain: Who else wears a green striped shirt?
Caitlin: Dude, Glow, I actually cannot describe in text how fucking sick that is.
Aragorn: Walter White
Caitlin: Are you actually?
Solvar: Might as well.
Caitlin: I’m gonna get, are you, I’m gonna get, are you a gooner or are you a jelker?
Solvar: Right.
Aragorn: Gooning or jelking you’re gonna get that tattooed what me gooning shelter
Solvar: Yeah.
Solvar: I feel like I have to get it that size just to cross my entire thigh, right?
Caitlin: So you gotta get it on the end of your knuckles, gooner, and joker.
Aragorn: I know I’m getting don’t care on my fucking knuckles
Caitlin: The real question though, are you gonna get it like that size or are you gonna get it
Aragorn: Me getting Rushing and Dragging on my underboob.
Caitlin: like really small, like a patch on like a shoulder or something?
Solvar: Silence.
Caitlin: Dude, I’m actually gonna get punished and enslave on the ends of my neck, I’ll slip
Caitlin: fuckin’ what’s-his-face barricade.
Aragorn: me getting the entire song of tom sawyer from rush lyrics on my back as a back tattoo
Solvar: you
Aragorn: me getting the chord progression of rush e on tatted on my back
Caitlin: Do I really need to go rewatch the old Transformers?
Aragorn: type of shit I’ve been on.
Shain: Dude, can we just acknowledge the fact that Optimus Prime is stupid?
Aragorn: I don’t know, I think like, the first two were like, okay.
Caitlin: That’s actually kind of just like a wrong take, actually.
Aragorn: I don’t know, the first two were great.
Aragorn: The rest were ass.
Aragorn: No, it’s not.
Caitlin: Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.
Aragorn: Because here’s the thing, right?
Shain: .
Aragorn: The Bayverse films looked phenomenal.
Aragorn: The CGI, everything, looked phenomenal.
Caitlin: The plot was…
Caitlin: Okay.
Aragorn: The writing was ass.
Caitlin: Hang on.
Caitlin: Transformers.
Aragorn: The plot was good, everything else was good, the writing was fucking terrible.
Caitlin: The first one was fire as fuck.
Solvar: Thank you.
Aragorn: Right, right.
Aragorn: And the second one was decent.
Caitlin: The second one, Revenge of the Fallen, was fantastic.
Shain: Fantastic.
Caitlin: Dark of the Moon was not that bad.
Caitlin: Dark of the Moon was the third one.
Aragorn: It was not good.
Aragorn: It was not good though.
Caitlin: It was not that bad.
Aragorn: It was okay at best.
Caitlin: of Extinction and Last Night were both hot shit and I haven’t seen Rise of the Beasts,
Aragorn: Which one, which one, Rise of the Beast was terrible.
Caitlin: but Dark of the Moon was not that bad.
Aragorn: This was the one with the big ass fuckin’ excavator… fuckin’
Shain: Yeah.
Caitlin: That was Devastator, that’s from Revenge of the Fallen.
Aragorn: Yeah, that, that was cool, that was cool.
Caitlin: You’re talking about the scene where he eats the pyramid?
Caitlin: Yeah, that’s- What’s the one with one of the best Decepticons
Shain: Now I think bumble I think the bumblebee movie was okay
Aragorn: Like I said, Baver’s films are always one thing, except for the first, and the second.
Caitlin: of all time?
Caitlin: What’s his face?
Caitlin: Sentinel the the medic truck which one is that one is that is it no way hang on
Aragorn: Think that was the second one.
Aragorn: I think that was the second one.
Aragorn: There’s no way that they would waste Sentinel on a…
Caitlin: Sentinel Prime which movie was he in
Caitlin: Bumblebee was good I told you Dark of the Moon was good
Aragorn: Oh, he was in Dark of the Moon.
Caitlin: Dude, you know what, Mooby, I need War of the Worlds to get accepted right now.
Aragorn: No, it wasn’t.
Aragorn: You’re talking about the guy with the shield, right?
Shain: World of Warcraft?
Shain: That’s what I would do.
Aragorn: Where Optimus Prime just fucking mercs out of nowhere.
Caitlin: Optimus where Optimus Prime gets fucking raped by him
Aragorn: Yeah, and doesn’t Optimus Prime kill him?
Aragorn: In the end?
Caitlin: in the end yeah
Aragorn: He like, shoots him in the back of the head?
Aragorn: Yeah.
Aragorn: It’s also not a medic truck, it’s an airport fire truck.
Aragorn: you
Shain: That’s actually kind of smart, they’re using pyrogales on strand.
Caitlin: I’m literally about to re-watch the entire first movie just to watch the scene with fucking
Aragorn: Is this the barricade scene?
Shain: you
Caitlin: barricade
Caitlin: so this is the movie
Caitlin: this is Transformers
Aragorn: Oh.
Caitlin: I forgot he was in this movie
Aragorn: Christopher Walken is in everything you don’t expect him to be in.
Caitlin: Christopher Walken in uh what’s it what’s it called threw me for a fucking loop
Shain: Young, young, young, young, young, young, young, young, young, young, young, young, young,
Caitlin: Yeah, it’s Severance.
Aragorn: And uh, Severance.
Caitlin: Glow, do you want to see Christopher Walken re-younged?
Aragorn: Holy shit, it’s the Secretary of Defense.
Aragorn: Ladies and gentlemen, Secretary of Defense.
Caitlin: Dude, that’s him younger than when you see him now.
Aragorn: This is not him, young.
Aragorn: Yeah, younger, that’s not young.
Caitlin: That’s 20 years ago.
Caitlin: Wow, this movie came out 20 years ago.
Aragorn: Yeah, you’re old.
Aragorn: What size shoes do you wear?
Caitlin: You know what movie fucks pixels with Adam Sandler?
Aragorn: Yes.
Shain: Ironically, I really did like that movie.
Shain: I don’t know
Caitlin: So did I.
Caitlin: I thought it was good.
Shain: There’s got to be some like tech for
Shain: or a finisher skating or something like that in Destiny.
Caitlin: Yeah, not really.
Caitlin: Finisher skating, not really, cuz it halts.
Shain: Like, wouldn’t there be a way
Shain: to theoretically do that consistently?
Shain: I mean, not like really skating per se,
Caitlin: Are you ladies man 217?
Shain: but like, you know how like when you get a finisher
Shain: and if a teammate’s in front of you,
Shain: you can hit them just right and they get launched?
Aragorn: Transformers 1, I was goaded.
Shain: What are you looking at, you wussup?
Caitlin: This is not much.
Shain: Wasn’t there that other Transformers movie that was like them on Cybertron when they
Shain: What if I was your criminal?
Caitlin: Yeah, Transformers 1.
Caitlin: Transformers 1 was a MIND BLOWER, son!
Aragorn: Honestly, Transformers 1 was the best Transformers movie.
Caitlin: I’m not even…
Aragorn: It was so good.
Aragorn: The writing was good.
Aragorn: Well paced.
Caitlin: Saying that Transformers 1 is better than this movie is fucking criminal.
Aragorn: Good characters.
Aragorn: No, it’s not.
Caitlin: It is.
Shain: Yeah.
Shain: Correct.
Aragorn: This is-
Shain: I think dragon might be dead.
Caitlin: Bumblebee being a Camaro is so much better than him being a bug.
Aragorn: Well, he turns into the Camaro, right?
Aragorn: He wasn’t always a bug?
Caitlin: I think he started as a bug and became the Camaro.
Caitlin: I’m pretty sure that’s what happened, but I could be wrong.
Aragorn: I like the bug version of him, though.
Aragorn: It’s kinda nice.
Caitlin: No, I didn’t say it was bad, I just said the Camaro’s better.
Solvar: Watching the entire season of Big Brother 16 condensed into a 7-hour YouTube video?
Caitlin: Yeah, I don’t know if we’re doing D&D, it’s my own.
Aragorn: Jews.
Aragorn: Sorry.
Shain: Bye bye.
Aragorn: Okay, what the fuck, okay, what is up with Big Brother?
Caitlin: Pookie, what are you up to over there?
Caitlin: What are you up to?
Caitlin: Dude, that actually sounds awesome.
Aragorn: I hear everyone rave- Like, what is it?
Solvar: I, I don’t, like currently?
Solvar: Or just like as a concept?
Aragorn: What is it?
Caitlin: Oh no.
Solvar: So, basically, they take like 16 people and they put them in a house for like 100 days,
Aragorn: Right, right, right, oh so it’s survivor, oh so I had a fucking lady come up to me and
Shain: you
Solvar: no TV, no phones, no books, no internet, nothing.
Solvar: They compete in competitions and
Solvar: then they vote each other out until somebody wins.
Solvar: And it’s Survivor trapped in a house, basically.
Caitlin: It’s survivor indoors.
Solvar: And then, well, the other thing that they do about Big Brother, which is different than
Aragorn: ask me, I want notifications for big brother.
Aragorn: Now that I did that for her, I feel fucking embarrassed.
Solvar: Survivor, Survivor’s all pre-recorded and then edited together.
Caitlin: Correct.
Solvar: Big Brother’s live 24-7.
Solvar: Like,
Solvar: you can go to ParamountPlus.com and just watch them live.
Shain: So, it’s the Truman Show.
Solvar: Like, I watch them sleep, I watch them
Solvar: eat, I watch them gameplay and talk.
Solvar: You can just watch them live in the house for the entire time.
Aragorn: That sounds really fucking invasive, and I would honestly kill myself if I was ever a
Solvar: time.
Solvar: Yeah, basically.
Aragorn: part of that.
Solvar: It’s on the 27th season right now.
Aragorn: would kill myself on camera.
Solvar: It’s good.
Solvar: This season’s not good,
Solvar: but normally it’s good.
Solvar: I’m gonna make Nate watch it very soon.
Solvar: It’s good!
Shain: My condolences, Nate.
Aragorn: My condolences Nate, that sounds like fucking shit.
Caitlin: I want I want to I’m not saying no it sounds good.
Caitlin: I like survivor.
Solvar: You like Survivor.
Solvar: I feel like somebody’s realized they’re both.
Caitlin: Yeah, I can’t imagine
Shain: I just never really…
Shain: I used to watch Survivor with my family, but I never cared for it.
Aragorn: I just hate reality TV.
Shain: Yeah, I kind of agree with you.
Solvar: If that’s reasonable.
Aragorn: i hate every aspect holy shit it’s prime megafox oh oh um please open the car door please open
Solvar: Yeah, you know what, that’s reasonable.
Caitlin: Oh my god, you’re right
Caitlin: Yeah, she’s yeah, she’s hot as fuck.
Aragorn: the trunk pop the hood baby
Shain: I was gonna say, how is Nate not in trouble?
Caitlin: I agree that either but we’ll agree
Aragorn: climbing a tree in sandals is insane
Caitlin: Glow glow women hot, you know that you know this
Solvar: What, woman?
Aragorn: oh damn he got his shit rocked
Solvar: Ew.
Caitlin: Cuz glow knows that women are hot
Aragorn: Megan Fox, Prime Megan Fox, what do you mean, you?
Solvar: Gross.
Caitlin: Probably Megan Fox.
Solvar: I mean, Fox is ugly as fuck.
Caitlin: What?
Caitlin: No, no, no, no, you’re right, yeah, yeah, you’re right, it goes right, goes right, sorry.
Shain: Thank you, everybody.
Solvar: What the fuck are you on about?
Aragorn: Well you are so fucking wrong, and I’m not dating you, so I can’t say that.
Solvar: No I’m not, she’s not.
Aragorn: Nope, nope.
Caitlin: I agree, I agree with Will.
Aragorn: I know you can’t live with yourself saying that.
Caitlin: I agree, I agree with Glum.
Aragorn: I know you can’t- I know you can’t live with yourself saying that, Nate.
Caitlin: I agree with Glum.
Aragorn: No you don’t.
Caitlin: You still there?
Aragorn: I know you don’t.
Caitlin: Prove it.
Aragorn: You know why?
Aragorn: Because you have a dick too.
Caitlin: I’ll show you it’s not hard right now.
Caitlin: I just can’t blow up, nothing happened, I’m camped, I just can’t close the suit.
Shain: I’m glad I’m tapping into a YouTube video and not you guys, I’m a little scared.
Solvar: I saw more than I wanted to see.
Aragorn: Okay, so, Glow, is Charli XCX hot?
Solvar: No!
Caitlin: No.
Aragorn: What?
Solvar: Ew.
Caitlin: I agree with Glow on that one, absolutely not.
Aragorn: Y’all are crazy.
Solvar: Gross.
Caitlin: Are you disagreeing with that, Andrew?
Solvar: You’s hot, Sabrina Carpenter.
Shain: Little boy, interesting.
Solvar: She’s hot.
Aragorn: No, all I’m saying is that they’re all equally, like, mega-makeup hotties.
Aragorn: That’s what it is.
Aragorn: that’s the type of genre of, like, hotness that they are.
Caitlin: I can’t hear Transformers over your bad text.
Aragorn: no.
Caitlin: Let’s turn it back, little boy.
Aragorn: no.
Shain: I’m playing Destiny, dude.
Aragorn: pop the hood, pop the hood, please pop the hood.
Caitlin: Yeah.
Caitlin: I think.
Aragorn: it’s an end credit scene, isn’t it?
Aragorn: NO!
Aragorn: I guess we’re watching the whole movie
Aragorn: Be a hodge, okay, I’m gonna kill myself that
Aragorn: I think he was talking about giving him head.
Caitlin: I think he said, give me a roadhead, I think that’s an actual.
Aragorn: You can duck down if you want, which I think is roadhead, but okay.
Shain: Steve Harvey.
Aragorn: Who is the guy?
Caitlin: I don’t remember his first name, I know his last name is Witwicky.
Aragorn: What was his name again?
Aragorn: Oh, yeah.
Caitlin: Better than what’s-his-face is what I’m saying.
Aragorn: Mark Wahlberg.
Shain: Mark Wohlberg.
Caitlin: Yes, better than Mark Wahlberg.
Caitlin: The one scene, the one movie with Mark Wahlberg isn’t that bad.
Caitlin: I think, I think it’s Dark of the Moon.
Shain: That’s a fair point.
Shain: Buddy, what?
Caitlin: I love B.
Aragorn: You
Shain: I hate men.
Shain: Why?
Shain: Oh, Russians, dude.
Aragorn: Oh!
Caitlin: That’s more beautiful than she is
Aragorn: They’re both hot!
Caitlin: God go back back to the engine, bro.
Shain: I need to navigate it with CataList.
Solvar: Silence.
Caitlin: I don’t want to see her
Aragorn: I have them in both frames!
Caitlin: Yeah, yeah, you do.
Solvar: You
Shain: Yeah, I do.
Shain: that
Caitlin: Yes, Felix.
Aragorn: You are my hope, you are my seed, and everything about you, you can play my dawn on the beat.
Shain: I’m going to delete those.
Caitlin: You
Caitlin: Any Camaro
Aragorn: Average Camaro swerving into the population.
Shain: Silence.
Caitlin: Dude Andrew, can I tell you what car I’m trying to buy?
Caitlin: It’s a 2000 Pontiac Firebird.
Aragorn: If it’s a Mustang, I will kill you.
Aragorn: Listen, I’m all for the Firebird, and I love a Firebird.
Aragorn: I love a good ol’ Trans Am.
Caitlin: Less than 200,000 miles, nothing wrong with it.
Aragorn: God, there’s something wrong with it.
Aragorn: It’s Pontiac.
Aragorn: That’s what’s wrong with it.
Shain: No, you’re dead.
Aragorn: Let alone, it’s a Firebird.
Aragorn: Also one of Pontiac’s worst-made cars.
Solvar: you
Caitlin: I’m unironically about to buy a car without a title though.
Aragorn: Coolest fucked car, cuz it’s Knight Rider.
Aragorn: Terrible fucking build.
Aragorn: Is it- is it a-
Aragorn: Is it 2000, or is it the 70s model?
Caitlin: It’s 2000.
Caitlin: I didn’t say I bought it, bro.
Aragorn: Oh, you’re fucked.
Aragorn: Oh, you’re so-
Aragorn: Jesus shit.
Aragorn: You’re gonna buy a Firebird?
Caitlin: This was 2007, so the plane has hit the Pentagon.
Aragorn: I can’t wait for Megatron to blow up the World Trade Center.
Shain: Brother.
Shain: Not really.
Shain: I don’t disagree.
Aragorn: Starscream hit the second tower.
Shain: Hmm.
Shain: Brother
Aragorn: else want to fly on the air force one desperately looks like it looks like a
Caitlin: This is the one that turns into like the blender, right?
Shain: Not really I don’t disagree
Aragorn: cool as fuck plane to be on oh it’s the slow guy it’s this little guy I fucking
Aragorn: love this guy
Aragorn: yeah yeah this is the crazy one this is the crazy one
Caitlin: Yeah.
Caitlin: Oh, let’s write the fucking RC car.
Aragorn: My little goober, goober-schwoober.
Caitlin: You
Solvar: Thank you.
Aragorn: that
Caitlin: This is the part where she gets fucking merked.
Caitlin: Dude, you can tell it’s 2007.
Aragorn: You
Aragorn: The CGI is good, bro
Caitlin: That’s not CGI, THAT’S CGI.
Solvar: Bye-bye.
Aragorn: Pulls out a Glock.
Caitlin: That was not a Glock, dude, that was a fuckin’ LMG.
Aragorn: He’s so cool, I love this guy.
Caitlin: That was a belt-fed fuckin’ machine gun.
Aragorn: I forgot, he starts nutting while hacking.
Aerendyl: Sorry about that, yeah that went longer than I thought it would.
DM: Apologies for the four-hour side conversation.
Shain: Hi.
Caitlin: It’s like a check the stream
Caitlin: Yeah
Aerendyl: Oh my gosh.
Aerendyl: Someone!
Aerendyl: Oh, someone!
Aerendyl: All right, back to D&D boys.
Aragorn: SOMEONE!
Aragorn: THEY’RE HACKING AIR FORCE ONE!
Aerendyl: stop watching transformers butter stop also watching transformers
Shain: OK.
DM: But it’s so big.
DM: Okay.
Caitlin: We’re playing D&D now, are we actually gonna play D&D now, or are we gonna sit here for
DM: Yep, yep, yep.
Aragorn: But it’s so good!
DM: Super sorry.
Aragorn: Later.
DM: We were not going for that long.
Caitlin: another hour and a half?
Aerendyl: Yeah, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
DM: For that long
Caitlin: How about this, riddle, riddle, riddle me this.
Aerendyl: It was only, we were only there for like 20 minutes, 25?
Caitlin: Because I started transformers like 10 minutes after you guys left and I’m currently 31 minutes of the transformers
Caitlin: So yeah, it was like 40 minutes.
Caitlin: Um
Caitlin: Was it was it D&D related or no?
Aragorn: Guys, real quick, Battlefield players have already cost $70,000.
Aerendyl: Yeah.
DM: Yes, completely
Caitlin: Okay
Aerendyl: Yeah, I was doing something.
DM: Basically.
Caitlin: Not not excusable, but okay
DM: All right, but yes, so you’re in the hospital, essentially.
Caitlin: So do I gets no airtime for the rest of the fucking session heard?
Aerendyl: I’m not doing anything you guys got to catch up we know
Shain: I’ve been there a lot.
Caitlin: Yes.
Aerendyl: That’s funny.
Aragorn: billion of in-game property damage.
Aragorn: Anyways.
Aragorn: So, what’s going on?
DM: You
Aragorn: You’re at the hotel?
Aragorn: The hospital.
Aragorn: I think all three of us are with, uh, all of us are with Nate, except for, maybe, a
Caitlin: I’m in the… what other hotel?
DM: Yeah, um glow where did who would you be with or where would you be?
Caitlin: Not a hotel.
Shain: Silence.
Caitlin: Hospital.
Caitlin: May.
Caitlin: And they’re just like, they’re just like, it’ll recover of natural causes.
Solvar: Yeah, I think so.
DM: Come on
DM: All right, then you guys are all at the hospital.
Aragorn: We can mercy kill him.
DM: Like I said, there’s basically just people lined up
DM: I mean, they’re alive, but like, just barely.
DM: Essentially, yeah.
DM: Strong believers in natural healing.
Caitlin: Okay.
DM: That’s a crazy sentence.
DM: sentence.
Aragorn: Glow.
Aragorn: Level 9 Fireball.
Solvar: Oh, yeah, wait, what’s the absolutely insane fucking fire shit I drop an atomic bomb on this hospital again
DM: Glow, you would totally, like, go to the entrance and just Dragon’s Breath the entire inside
Aerendyl: I am at homing.
Shain: Dragon’s Wrath, you mean like the Destiny 2?
Caitlin: Can me and glow drop Nagasaki in the middle?
Aragorn: Glow’s the Joker from The Dark Knight.
Caitlin: No, so here’s what we’re gonna do.
Solvar: I’ve never seen that movie
Aragorn: What?
Caitlin: So here’s what we’re going to do.
DM: of the hospital.
DM: Just that scene from Joker.
Aragorn: He literally dresses up as a nurse and blows up a hospital.
Aerendyl: You
Shain: I was about to say, I was about to say, I know he has a ring but I don’t think he put
Solvar: Hear me out, we just pulled up the hospital.
Aragorn: Exactly.
Caitlin: I’m going to go find Dwagan, I’m going to take his ring, I’m going to put it in my left
Caitlin: hand, I’m going to take Solvebar’s ring, I’m going to put it in my right hand, and I’m
Caitlin: going to channel it, and I’m going to use my perfect copy control on the cube.
Aerendyl: You don’t know I have a ring
Aerendyl: But I don’t want to end the campaign now.
Caitlin: Hey, hey, Dwagan, Dwagan, I’m trying to end the campaign, can you, like, let me do my
Shain: it on.
DM: So three reasons why that wouldn’t work.
Aragorn: You don’t care didn’t ask L plus ratio suck my dick
Caitlin: thing, please?
Caitlin: Can you, please?
Caitlin: I’m trying to end the campaign.
DM: First of all, fair enough
Caitlin: Don’t want to hear it.
Caitlin: Hey, hey, you know what is a weapon, Mr., Mr. It’s not a weapon!
Aragorn: Yep, and we’re planning on bombing the hospital.
Caitlin: You know what is a weapon?
Caitlin: The staff.
Caitlin: I don’t know where you are, Flex.
DM: Yeah, it is
DM: Flux, I don’t know where… No, you were talking to Old Man.
Shain: hospital now yeah let’s say I don’t yeah I don’t know where the hospital is I’m
DM: You’re in the middle of sneaking
DM: town.
Shain: assuming is right there right hmm yeah and I just I kind of gave up with them
DM: Yeah, yeah, big one.
Aragorn: I mean, I would assume you would probably see us walk through, like, a window or something.
Aragorn: Let’s make a plot reason as to why he would go to the hospital.
Shain: If I see everybody going, I don’t want to converse with the old man, but I do want to
DM: I mean, did you want to go to the hospital?
Caitlin: If he doesn’t, I’m just going to sucker punch him in the gut and just walk away.
DM: Or did you want
DM: to continue conversing with the old man.
Shain: shake the guy’s hand if he knows what that is.
Shain: If he doesn’t, I’ll just give him a high-five.
Shain: If he doesn’t know what that is, I’m just going to leave and kill everyone.
Solvar: you
Shain: That actually might be a- wait a minute, that might be how they say bye.
DM: That might be how they say bye.
Shain: So I’ll just say, normally I would give you a handshake, but you don’t seem like the kind
DM: He says, oh, well, it’s completely normal.
Shain: of person who would.
Shain: What’s your way of saying goodbye?
DM: He turns and basically turns and goes to slap you out on the face.
Shain: Go for it.
Solvar: You
Shain: Oh, I see, may I?
DM: Just a full on.
DM: It’s not like a proper attack.
DM: It just like stings.
DM: Of course, of course.
Caitlin: I
Aerendyl: He’s jerking it.
Shain: Lightning surge.
Shain: I’m just kidding.
Shain: No.
Shain: No, just give him a little.
Shain: And I’ll just give him a little
Shain: That’s actually quite loud
Caitlin: Walk up to him and I backhand him I’m gonna put a fucking fourth-level smite on that bitch
Shain: And then I’ll go to a the little house we were in before
Shain: All right, I’m gonna I’m gonna lock the door
DM: All right
Shain: No
Shain: No, I recently cuz Shane has been in study aka level up
Caitlin: Looks, you should have just cast identify on it.
Shain: I’m going to bring out the decahedron
Shain: and put a hand on it, and hopefully this works.
Shain: But, I’m gonna cast Legend Lore,
Shain: and I’m gonna ask basically,
Solvar: Thank you.
Shain: actually now that I think about it,
Shain: if I could just touch it, I don’t know how to describe it,
Shain: so I’ll just be like, focus.
Aerendyl: Identify it at a higher level.
Shain: I already have, it’s unidentifiable.
Caitlin: I’m going to enter out of the hospital, may I enter in Solvar, yeah?
Shain: I don’t think that would matter.
Aerendyl: Maybe that’s your issue.
Aerendyl: Identify it at sixth level.
Aerendyl: Identify it at 6th level.
Shain: I’m almost there, dude.
Shain: Please, I need, I need something.
Aragorn: Bye.
DM: So, essentially, for most things, you just get the lore doc, essentially.
Shain: Well, I guess, I mean, a brief summary or significant, yeah, it would be either a little
DM: what it says I mean you would either hit the lore doc or um a portion of it
Shain: bit or a tiny little thingy.
Caitlin: .
DM: all right all right give me one second hang on uh
DM: what would you like mostly be thinking of um with the dodecahedron like like what is
Shain: What is it?
DM: what is your current understanding of the dodecahedron, I should ask?
Shain: Like what?
Shain: My current understanding
Shain: is that it fell from the sky, it obliterates people when it touches them, or causes them
Shain: to have, like, um, an aneurysm for three days.
Shain: Um, I understand it’s linked to the trugulite,
Shain: I’m assuming.
Shain: Um, it’s definitely… there’s more than one, so I don’t know about other
DM: In that case, what you would understand is that, essentially, you would get that, it
Shain: things.
Shain: And then I guess, to be fair, I’m the only one that can wield it, I guess.
DM: doesn’t matter.
DM: You decide to cast the spell.
DM: It gives you part of the darn lore doc.
DM: The object that you are holding is basically a special item that only one person can touch
DM: ever.
DM: It will choose that person based off of the person’s characteristics.
Shain: Hm.
DM: Only one of this object will ever exist in a universe.
DM: that the dodecahedron itself is a form of connection to all other universes, essentially.
DM: Now what you do with that, who knows?
DM: Find out next time.
Aragorn: I think we should just look around, at least what I’m doing.
DM: Let’s go to the other guys.
DM: You guys are in the hospital.
DM: What’s your game plan?
DM: Are you guys just going to investigate through the hospital, look around?
DM: Are you going to
DM: to talk to people.
DM: What’s your game plan here?
Aragorn: Kind of seeing what’s the vibe here.
Caitlin: Yeah, take a look around
DM: You’re just going to chillax or look around?
Aragorn: I’m just trying to catch a vibe in the hospital.
Caitlin: I’m gonna say I’m gonna I don’t know what Andrew
DM: You just sit down and be like, man, that fighting.
DM: Okay, then just in general, as you guys start looking around, you kind of go towards some
Aragorn: I’m trying to look further past the hordes of people,
Shain: You
Aragorn: seeing if it’s just more than that.
Caitlin: Me I’m mean so we’re gonna look around at least I think Anders joining room.
Aragorn: Yeah, that’s what I’m doing.
Caitlin: Um, I
Aragorn: I’m looking to see if there’s more.
Caitlin: I want to see if there’s anything that immediately strikes my interest then I’ll start looking for more specific things if that makes sense
DM: back a back hallway essentially and as you’re kind of walking through you see
Shain: Silence.
DM: in one room that there is this he’s actually kind of misplaced everybody
DM: that’s been in this town so far that you’ve seen have been very large
DM: muscular bulky individuals but right before you is what appears to be a
Caitlin: This is on.
DM: halfling.
DM: He’s kind of… he’s using basically a stepstool to kind of look
Caitlin: Bye-bye.
DM: onto a bed where there’s a large half-orc that is kind of resting on the
DM: bed and he’s using some kind of paste from a bottle and he’s rubbing it on the
Aerendyl: You
DM: wounds.
Aragorn: Do we all see him or just Nate?
DM: It’s pretty clear that this is either a doctor of some sort or a mad
DM: scientist.
DM: You’re not really sure.
Caitlin: He is sneaking around, or he’s not?
DM: But whatever he is, he’s definitely doing it
DM: with seemingly authority.
DM: He’s not like sneaking around.
DM: He is not sneaking around.
Caitlin: I think they all do.
DM: You guys are all kind of investigating together more or less.
Aragorn: And he looks like out of place, like he shouldn’t be here, or gigantic, I’m gonna walk up to
Caitlin: .
DM: You guys would all kind of see it.
DM: It’s not like… It’s just through an open door.
DM: It’s just more of a… He’s a short guy in a stinkin’ town full of gigantic tall people.
Aragorn: Yeah, okay, yeah, I’ll do it guy can I inspect it before is it just medical supplies to wear?
DM: Okay.
DM: Um, as he’s just kind of trying to rub the paste in, he turns and says,
DM: Ah, you, grab some of that and put it on his left arm.
Solvar: Okay.
DM: Alright.
DM: Uh, sure, um…
Aragorn: Investigation
DM: Go…
DM: yeah just be investigation or no I’m sorry do medicine if you’re in because
Aragorn: Medicine, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right,
DM: you’re checking to see if this is just medicine
DM: all right this seems like you’re pretty much regular medicine as far as you know
Aragorn: right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right,
DM: It doesn’t seem to be like poison, for example, but not your average type of medicine either.
Aragorn: that
Aragorn: the
DM: You could say that.
DM: I just try to patch them up after they kill each other.
DM: sometimes.
Aragorn: I’m gonna look over at Charlotte, and I’m gonna be like back door
DM: Don’t go through the back door.
Caitlin: Charlotte, who are you talking to, Kaitlyn?
Aragorn: Like kind of mouth of word is just Charlotte
Aerendyl: I was about to say, are you trying to fuck another girl?
Aragorn: You you oh my god
DM: Caitlin!
Aragorn: I’m so fucking tired, dude
Aragorn: I’m running on like three hours of sleep
Aerendyl: I clocked in Charlotte back door, I’m like, what the fuck, are they shagging or what?
Shain: Aragorn’s been through a lot.
DM: He just kind of smiles, says, not a cleric, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Caitlin: Sure, I’ll make my way to the back door.
Aragorn: Yeah, yeah, I’m a mouth the words like backdoor and kind of like point in its direction to like check it out sort of
Shain: Why are we going to play this game though?
Aragorn: Um
Aragorn: So you are the cleric here I then
Aragorn: You’re just a person that is good.
DM: No.
DM: I do my best.
Caitlin: I wonder if I can walk up and get a sample of the salve.
Aragorn: Okay, so you don’t possess any magic whatsoever.
DM: Uh, not…
DM: No holy magic.
Aragorn: Hmm, so you do know magic.
DM: Just a bit here and there.
Aragorn: Do you know a lot of magic?
DM: A little bit’s enough to make some basic concoctions.
Aragorn: Silence.
DM: Um, go ahead and make an Arcana check for me, but you’re probably gonna stink an Ace
Caitlin: Is this actually like, is this like, is this actually inherently magical or is this the
Caitlin: equivalent of them rubbing nearspore on an open wound?
Aragorn: You
Caitlin: Sure.
DM: because I don’t remember the last time you rolled a Nat 1.
DM: Oh, it’s just you’re thinking passives make up for it, so even your nat 1s are like 72s.
Caitlin: Last session.
Caitlin: Not on checks, that’s a 13.
DM: Okay, 13.
DM: It exudes a little bit of magic, so it’s at least imbued with something, but you can’t
DM: really be sure if it’s something that was just involved in the materials, or if it was
DM: was actually imbued by him, for example.
Caitlin: Metagame question.
Caitlin: tell how many hit points this guy has.
Caitlin: Is this a- is his injuries based on he’s low on hit points or
Caitlin: is his injuries based on like something a little bit deeper?
Caitlin: Basically can I dump a
Caitlin: fucking shit ton of hit points into him and fix him?
DM: The guy.
DM: The guy that’s on the bed.
Caitlin: Yeah.
Caitlin: Dude, what if I dump, like, four hit points into him and he’s just…
Aragorn: It’s like a whole new awakening.
DM: Given what your metagame given what
DM: the average level is around here,
DM: could 100% heal this guy from zero to full easily.
DM: Basically, not really.
Aragorn: This is one more hit point than I get.
Caitlin: I’m not gonna…
Caitlin: I’m not gonna expend…
Caitlin: I’m not gonna expend a spell.
Caitlin: I want to, like, pull from my Lay on Hands pool, so I kind of want to know how many hit
Aragorn: Okay, so I’m going to kill him after an 8 heals him.
Caitlin: points it takes to get him to fall.
DM: I mean metagaming because your guys are obviously not going to be fighting this guy.
Caitlin: Yeah.
Caitlin: Sure.
DM: uh… he is missing thirty two
Caitlin: I mean, I’ll kind of, like, I’ll kind of take a step forward and, like, I’m not going to
Caitlin: be a dick at it.
Caitlin: forward and kind of like put my like move the halfling out of the way and just kind of
Caitlin: i know what i’m doing and i’m going to put my hands on his i’m actually going to rub my
Caitlin: hands together like a febrilator style and just kind of bend 32 head points
DM: All righty, as you do this and all of his wounds close up and his bone literally snaps
DM: back into place on his right arm, he just kind of gets up and says,
Aragorn: Crack cocaine.
DM: Wow, Doc.
DM: Your stuff’s gotten better.
Aerendyl: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,
DM: As he looks over, he says,
DM: We got some new helpers around here.
DM: Hi there, pretty lady.
Aragorn: Daddy’s little helper.
DM: I hate you.
Aragorn: Santa’s little helper.
DM: Andrew, never speak again, all right?
Solvar: I don’t know what I’m doing.
Caitlin: And we go can we look at my ask is I want to go one session without Kayla being sexualized do we just
Aragorn: Love.
DM: It’s literally not okay for the record the NPCs have never done that before it has been Andrew every single session
Aerendyl: It’s not, it’s not our fault you described her as beautiful.
Caitlin: It’s the only woman
Caitlin: I’m aware
Aragorn: First off, first off, I’m not sexualizing Galen.
Aragorn: I’m just saying Daddy’s little helper.
Caitlin: And you’re over there for and you’re over the first words out of your mouth and my character got introduced
Aragorn: it was mommy, because yeah, hot woman go awooga, glow would do the same thing, glow does the same thing, anytime hot woman awooga, what was glow’s first interaction with you, how big are the boobs?
Solvar: Yeah, you know what, he got me there, he got me there.
Caitlin: Yeah, but I didn’t ask for it, did I?
DM: You know, it’s true.
Aragorn: am i wrong?
Aragorn: am i wrong?
Aragorn: no.
Solvar: I did watch you get in session one, so like.
Aragorn: exactly, and all i did was call you mommy.
DM: Yeah, they’re crazy.
Aragorn: but i’m the bad guy for some reason.
Aragorn: Not the one who saw you strip.
Caitlin: No, Andrew, you know, Andrew, Andrew, you know, who came up with the Andrew takes, right?
Aragorn: I’m throwing you under the bus, yes.
Solvar: See, Andrew, you forget that to Nate,
Solvar: I can quite literally do no wrong.
Solvar: It doesn’t matter what I do to him,
Solvar: I’m never going to be in the wrong for anything.
Aragorn: So can I.
DM: Basically, he got up.
Aragorn: You see, consequences don’t affect me.
Solvar: I don’t think so much.
Solvar: Do you want him to?
Caitlin: You know that started from me, right, dumb bitch?
Aragorn: That doesn’t stop me from invading your butthole.
Aragorn: Mm-hmm.
Aragorn: Oh, yeah.
Caitlin: Caitlyn uses her sword to light up one.
Aragorn: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
Caitlin: No, I’m sorry.
Aragorn: shit.
Caitlin: Repeat the interaction, please.
DM: He turned around and he said oh you got new help.
Aragorn: Daddy’s little helper.
DM: Well, hi there pretty lady essentially
Aragorn: pop on my lap pretty good.
DM: Okay, this guy’s got like four IQ points.
Caitlin: Yeah, I can tell.
DM: All right, he might literally just be saying hi
Shain: you
Aragorn: ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
Aragorn: What nice tits you have.
Caitlin: I assume as much.
Caitlin: I don’t think he’s going to fucking-
Caitlin: Bobby, sorry.
Caitlin: And if he does, I’ll gut him like a fish, so I mean, yeah, let’s see your cool NPC king
Solvar: He just fucks you.
Caitlin: do that.
Caitlin: Anyway.
Caitlin: Um.
Caitlin: Hey.
DM: You say that to the guy that was laying down?
Caitlin: A pleasure to meet you.
Caitlin: Hey, a pleasure to meet you.
Caitlin: I assume you are the leader of this city… town…
Caitlin: Yeah, I’m ignoring the halfling.
Caitlin: This bitch-ass couldn’t heal her.
DM: He just, he kind of smiles and he says, that wouldn’t be inaccurate.
DM: No, it would not.
DM: Leader.
DM: Yeah, something like that.
Solvar: you
Caitlin: Yeah.
Aragorn: Yeah, so you’re the leader of nothing, got it?
DM: I can tell you, even on a nat one, this fan is not the leader.
DM: Please stop speaking, please.
Aragorn: Teddy’s little helper doesn’t like it when you lie.
DM: Oh my gosh.
Aragorn: So, do you know where the other king is located?
Aragorn: Oh, king of greats.
DM: If you’re asking for the actual king, FYI, you guys already know that information.
Aragorn: Yeah, but I wanna hear him say it again.
DM: Is that?
DM: Oh, okay.
DM: Uh…
DM: Well, this guy says…
DM: Huh.
DM: The king is, uh…
DM: Down the road.
DM: That way.
Aragorn: Oh, okay, cool, thank you, thank you.
Caitlin: Wait, he’s on the other side of the continent?
DM: Ish.
DM: Yeah!
Aragorn: I’m gonna look to the halfway
DM: I don’t know, not even close, he’s in, I don’t, best of luck to you, he’s in the Coliseum.
Aragorn: Is that where he is?
Aragorn: Or is he somewhere else?
Aragorn: No, no, where is he?
Aragorn: Where is he?
Aragorn: We need kind of need to like talk to him.
Aragorn: So
Aragorn: Oh
DM: Technically it’s down that road, but on the other side of the continent.
Aragorn: So we just challenge him
Aragorn: Well, of the, yeah, because we’re, yeah, we’re making a literal U-turn.
DM: Wow, because you guys are on the never eat soggy waffles you guys on the west side he’s
Caitlin: So he’s like a mile away.
DM: on the east side ah he’s pretty far if you go to the world map you’ll literally see it
Aragorn: We’re making a big, giant U-turn.
Caitlin: Oh, I’m, oh, where am I, hang on.
DM: I mean, I don’t know, I don’t know what you want from me, man.
Aragorn: in the like on the far left at the bottom of the coliseum that’s a mile that’s a good
Caitlin: Oh, oh, he’s like not okay.
Caitlin: Okay.
Caitlin: I was like, okay
Aragorn: solid mile obviously the map is measured in feet right butter right butter right wow hey
DM: Yep, just for you.
Aragorn: Hey guys, it’s Milo.
DM: So yes, grand total, if you’re taking roads, is exactly 1,000 miles.
DM: Haste to go crazy and if you’re on a warhorse
Caitlin: Okay
Aragorn: Oh, shit.
Aragorn: What about with Hey Stew Horse?
Solvar: Okay.
Caitlin: Can we be there in like a minute?
Aragorn: Mileage?
DM: I don’t know.
DM: I’d have to check.
Aragorn: Can we… Can we…
Aragorn: I’m scared.
DM: You guys could totally try that if you wanted
DM: That would be pretty cool.
Caitlin: Can I open my bag of holding that’s linked to my campaign and just dump light barn out?
Shain: I have an idea.
Aragorn: I have 2 billion gold.
Solvar: I’m just waiting for you to be done with your interaction.
Caitlin: I have 1,700 feet of movement speed, I’m like just kind of there.
Aragorn: I have 2 billion power in my kingdom.
Caitlin: Uh, Glenn, do you want to do a thing while I think of the fuck to do?
Caitlin: I’m done with my interaction with this guy, I need to interact with the halfling, but if you want to do your thing first.
DM: Alright, well, long story short, unless you were going to stop him, the half-orc is kind
Solvar: Sure.
DM: of getting up and heading to go grab his big ray axe that is up against the wall nearby
Caitlin: I’m not talk.
DM: the door.
Caitlin: I need to talk to the halfling not the half work the half work can get
Shain: OK.
Caitlin: I don’t give a fuck unless and if I go if I need to go find him again, I’ll fucking find him again
Caitlin: But I need to
DM: As you kind of go out the back door, yes, that is where all the dead bodies are.
Aragorn: Firebond!
Solvar: No, no.
Caitlin: Go up I delegate my time to
Solvar: We’re waiting on you, Nathan.
Solvar: Finish whatever it is you’re doing.
Caitlin: You’ve been, you’ve been waiting.
Solvar: Play D&D.
Caitlin: It’s your turn.
Solvar: No, I genuinely just want to go through the back door where I assume all the dead bodies
Aragorn: Pokemon!
Aragorn: I’m getting greedy!
Shain: Start gaining all that we can’t.
Solvar: aren’t just word around.
Aragorn: Gold!
Aragorn: One…
Solvar: Cool, I’m just going to start digging through them.
DM: Um, okay, um, as you’re digging through them, um, you being very familiar with the process of death, um, is, something doesn’t fully seem normal, as, of course, most people are familiar with the idea of body dies, decomposes slowly into, uh, nothing.
Aragorn: Two…
Aragorn: A stopwatch!
Solvar: Yeah.
DM: pretty much.
DM: Instead you see basically kind of the fresh pile having people that have just recently
Solvar: My people, yeah, yeah, my people.
DM: died but kind of off to the side is the next pile and they’re not really decaying more than they
DM: look drained and then the next pile even more so and then the final pile looks very similar to you
DM: so far where you kind of look completely skeletal.
Aragorn: Yeah.
DM: The final pile basically just
Solvar: Yeah, any, any random ass bottles of mystery liquid on any of these guys?
DM: has skin wrapped around bones and that’s that’s about what you see.
DM: But yeah
DM: you’re kind of digging through this these bodies without a thought in your
DM: mind.
DM: Anything you’re looking for in particular?
Aragorn: Man, all the syringes, brooding through the homeless, digging through their butts, start
DM: mystery bottles all right fantastic so we’re digging in pockets all right you
Solvar: Yeah, pretty much.
DM: oh no as you’re um kind of digging through these guys you know you notice
Solvar: Bye.
Shain: Digging through these guys.
DM: that’s done basically you notice that you know a lot of these the doctor tried
Aragorn: I’m digging in your butthole.
DM: very much to fix as he’s got his you know healing stuff kind of slavered all
DM: over him but inside some of their pockets they do have little things here
Solvar: Can I open it?
DM: in there.
DM: Nothing too much.
Caitlin: You’re just drinking some dead guys, Chris.
DM: One of them does have a bottle.
DM: It has kind of a dark
DM: liquid inside of it, and it is sealed with like a… You could, yeah.
Aragorn: You
Solvar: I’d like to open it and drink it, please.
DM: Right now?
Aerendyl: Fluxie, stop sending me gay gifs!
Solvar: at this second.
DM: Okay.
DM: Give me a second.
DM: Okay, all right, all right, what?
Caitlin: Good, yes.
Shain: What?
Shain: I didn’t do anything!
Aerendyl: Stop sending me pictures of naked men!
Solvar: Okay.
Shain: Can I do…
Shain: Can I eat myself?
Caitlin: Suspicious stew, some might say.
DM: Can you what?
Shain: Can I, can I, can I do it?
DM: Sure.
Shain: Can we do Minecraft and D&D?
DM: So as you just down this suspicious black liquid that you have no idea what it does,
Aragorn: I don’t know.
Aragorn: But yes.
Aragorn: Oh, it’s good.
DM: can I please get a constitution saving throw at disadvantage?
Solvar: Yeah, that’s fine.
DM: No, not plus five.
Caitlin: That was five.
Solvar: Would you believe I rolled the same number on both those dice?
DM: There’s no…
DM: 21!
DM: Congratulations!
DM: You don’t instantly die on the spot, so we’re already off to some wonderful starts.
Solvar: That’s a…
Solvar: That’s a 21.
Solvar: I rolled two 15s.
Aragorn: Oh no, oh no, it’s the boys.
Solvar: Hell yeah, I’ll take it.
DM: You kind of feel a, what’s the best way, basically a void inside of you.
Solvar: Oh, so nothing’s changed, so I’m just feeling the way I’ve always felt, cool.
Caitlin: Guys, guys, it’s the void, oh no, it’s, shit, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
DM: As you feel this intense hunger for something, as you kind of look down at these bodies that
Aragorn: It’s the void.
Aragorn: It’s the void.
Aragorn: I know it’s drama!
Solvar: So nothing changes.
Aragorn: I’ve already lived enough!
Caitlin: fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
DM: that you’re rummaging through and you realize that,
Shain: Can I get a little Big Mac with a side of fries?
DM: you know, they kind of look a little, a little tasty.
Caitlin: He hates you, bro.
Solvar: Oh, I bet they do.
Solvar: Oh, yeah, they do.
Solvar: Yeah.
Solvar: I eat dead things all the time.
DM: As, can I get a, can I get a,
Solvar: Dead people?
Solvar: Same thing.
Solvar: Okay, well, Wisdom is a- Well, Wisdom was a nat 20 plus 2, so I dunno.
DM: if I can use my brain,
DM: a, we’ll go wisdom and intelligence saving throw, please.
Caitlin: Yeah, that was a potion of some.
DM: She drank the suspicious black liquid in a pile of dead bodies.
DM: He.
DM: Oh my gosh.
DM: So far as a he.
DM: I wrote the character lore.
DM: Why?
DM: Okay.
Caitlin: Butters is bad, his evil potion isn’t having any effect.
Solvar: One was a nat 20 plus two, and then the other one was a 14 plus two, so.
DM: Um.
DM: No, no, it’s certainly having an effect.
Caitlin: That’s what you think.
DM: You were ruling for how bad it was, essentially.
DM: You can’t really stop yourself from beginning to eat these bodies, and they’re pretty tasty,
Solvar: Yeah, I bet they do, given I’ve been starved for a long time, yeah, I bet they look delicious.
DM: you know?
DM: An arm here, a leg there, no problem.
Solvar: I’m so sorry, I’m praying for him.
DM: you guys in the hospital realize that you know so far it’s been gone for just
DM: a little bit too long so you guys kind of peek out the back door seeing the
DM: piles of dead bodies where you see Sovar just chowing down on on a centaur that
DM: had died
Caitlin: I put my hand on the halfling and go don’t move and immediately go to the fucking sylvar.
Caitlin: Oh my god
Solvar: Can I say something to you before you try to do anything, Nate?
Caitlin: um
DM: What?
Aragorn: You can’t cast spells in multiple times.
Caitlin: You know what I can’t do
Caitlin: Oh, i’m gonna burn two back-to-back spells here actually
DM: I’m going to stop sharing my screen and I’m going to stop sharing my screen and I’m going
Caitlin: Um
DM: to stop sharing my screen and I’m going to stop sharing my screen and I’m going to stop
Caitlin: I’m gonna start like ritually casting a spell.
Solvar: Oh, so, dude, did you see how much food they left out here?
Caitlin: What’s up?
Aragorn: Oh, wait, Glow, have you seen Digital Circus?
Caitlin: Okay, first of all, I want to cast Lester Restoration on Sylvar, please tell me it does
DM: sharing my screen and I’m going to stop sharing my screen and I’m going to stop sharing my
Solvar: There’s so much good stuff!
Solvar: They just- I can’t believe this place is great!
Solvar: They just leave their fucking food out here unattended.
Aerendyl: Bye-bye.
Solvar: …
DM: Unfortunately, no, Lesser Restoration does not seem to do anything.
Caitlin: something.
Caitlin: Please tell me it will please.
Aragorn: Have you caught up to episode 5?
Aragorn: Do you remember how Jax eats a fucking- how evil Jax?
Aragorn: Just like that.
Solvar: It’s like I knew where you were going with this.
Aragorn: Fucking shaking him around.
Solvar: Absolutely it is.
Solvar: 100%.
Solvar: Oh, that’s a 30.
DM: as, um, just real quick, um, uh, Solvar, can I pretty please get a, uh, one more constitution
Aragorn: Now
Aragorn: You got this.
Caitlin: Plus five dipshit.
DM: saving throw.
DM: At this point now, yes.
Shain: I’m giving you pink eye.
Solvar: Sorry, I rolled really well, so I know I was plus six.
Caitlin: Dwagan, flash of genius 35.
Aragorn: So you don’t succeed.
Aragorn: actually are famished and eat the body’s whole.
Aerendyl: I’m not with you.
Aragorn: Do you have a plus five on your constitution?
DM: Your
Solvar: I rolled a 19.
Solvar: I was plus six.
Shain: You
Solvar: Then Nate gave me five.
Solvar: That’s 30.
Solvar: Okay.
Solvar: Bye.
Aerendyl: No.
Aerendyl: No, I’m not.
Aragorn: Now you are, Placer Genius 35!
Aerendyl: No, that’s not how that works.
Caitlin: We forced him to use it.
Caitlin: Dwagan, you mysteriously find that one of your charges is now gone.
Caitlin: Silence.
Aragorn: I wish!
DM: you kind of see like basically this black liquid just kind of drip out of Sovar’s mouth
DM: as Sovar you you look at Caitlyn and for a second think that looks a little punk that looks a little
Solvar: Oh, that looks, yeah, yeah, fair.
DM: tasty but then you decide nah too much work and you turn back to the dead wonderful carcass and
Caitlin: Okay, um, no, we’re not, we’re not, we’re not doing this.
DM: and continue launching.
Solvar: Much better.
Solvar: Yeah.
Solvar: It’s like, I’m not doing this.
Caitlin: Well, okay, no, first of all, what I’m going to do is I’m going to finish my Ritual Spell.
Solvar: Is this the second time you’ve had to cast this on me eating a dead thing?
Caitlin: I’m going to cast, I cannot believe, I’m going to cast Purify Food and Drink, because at
Caitlin: At least in a 5-foot spear, anything that Sylvar has already consumed is…
Caitlin: Um…
Caitlin: Yes.
DM: Yep, yep.
Caitlin: This spell is just going to be permanently prepared now, like, there’s no like, just
Solvar: Yeah, you know what, not in that video.
Caitlin: for the rest of the campaign.
Caitlin: I’m going to take, I’m going to pull out my greatsword and use the flat end of the greatsword
Caitlin: like a barrier and like, wrap it around Sylvar, and you are now coming with me, we are leaving
Caitlin: the room.
Caitlin: This is essentially like me using the flat end of the sword like a bar on a rollercoaster
Caitlin: and just, you’re coming with me now.
DM: You’re coming, all right.
Solvar: I assume I’m trying to, like, grab some fingers and put them in my pockets.
Caitlin: No.
DM: Pretty much, as you’re being pulled away,
Solvar: Like, oh, and it’s like, yeah.
Caitlin: Get it out.
DM: you’re just kind of trying to grab anything you can.
Solvar: Fuck her.
DM: More of this like black liquid continues
Solvar: What’s wrong with her?
DM: to kind of drip from your mouth
DM: as you just feel so hungry.
Solvar: That bitch.
Caitlin: Right, if I, so this, Sylvar’s like this frail old man, right?
DM: But you know, we have a wonderful paladin
Solvar: Fuck her, what’s wrong with her?
DM: who believes that eating dead things is wrong
DM: for some reason, I don’t know what’s up with that.
Solvar: Dumb bitch.
Solvar: Yeah, more or less.
DM: uh more or less
Solvar: Fuck.
Solvar: Maybe.
Solvar: Probably.
Solvar: Yeah, it’s 50-50, might as well try it.
Caitlin: If I sucker punch the fuck out of Sylvar, will he puke it up?
DM: uh there there’s a decent chance yeah
Caitlin: Look, if I kill you, I’ll res you again.
DM: or you do that and so far just collapses on the ground dead uh there’s not really
DM: I mean, keep in mind, like, you basically can see the rib cage and then there’s just
Solvar: What’s the worst that could happen?
DM: whoop.
DM: All right, like, you, you, you sucker, but it just, no, no, no, let me show you what
Solvar: Do you know the Heimlich Maneuver, because you might as well just go for that at this
Aerendyl: Start digging in your gut, twin.
Solvar: point.
Caitlin: That’s actually true.
Solvar: It’s probably safer than sucker punching me in the stomach.
DM: happened.
DM: All right, all right, here, here, here, here, here.
Shain: You mean uh-oh nevermind
Caitlin: Yeah, no, I’m kind of just going to like…
Solvar: Yeah, you know what, fair.
DM: This is Solvar, okay?
DM: This is what happens when you sucker punch him.
DM: It’s just, but you could try.
Caitlin: much like like Heimlich maneuver like pick up and just kind of like crush um
DM: Sure, sure, sure.
Caitlin: like fuck if you make it out of this I’ll marry you
DM: Real quick, Solvar.
DM: Constitution saving throw.
Caitlin: Assume you want to fail.
Solvar: That’s a 10.
DM: And for the record…
DM: Okay, well, I was about to…
DM: This is going to be a disadvantage, unfortunately.
Caitlin: Assume the goal is to fail because
Caitlin: the constitution of your body can’t hold up anymore.
Solvar: At disadvantage, it’s a 12.
DM: Okay, so 10 plus the 5, or are you disabling that?
Solvar: So it’s a 10.
Caitlin: I’m not, I’m not, I’m not giving the, I’m not giving the plus five.
Solvar: Or I’m just going to die, one or the other.
Caitlin: I assume you want, I assume this is something you want to fail because your body’s constitution
Caitlin: can’t withstand it.
Caitlin: That’s what constitution means, butter.
Caitlin: Sorry, go ahead.
DM: Mm-hmm.
DM: Um, yeah, um, as you know, the Heimlich maneuvers performed and you just throw up this, just
Caitlin: And I’ll revivify you.
Caitlin: I have that prepared too and I’ll also keep that prepared.
Solvar: Yeah, you would have.
DM: what, okay.
Caitlin: No, go ahead, sorry, go ahead, I’m going to do something after this.
DM: You just throw up so much of this black liquid, like you basically drank a small bottle, but
Caitlin: Oh my god, if I sucker punched you I would have been coated in it, thank you Glow for
DM: Now it’s just flowing out of you.
Caitlin: the Heimlich Recruitment.
Solvar: I was like, don’t get in front of me to do this.
DM: Just splattering onto the floor.
DM: This big puddle of dark black liquid.
Caitlin: Thank you.
DM: Eventually you stop and.
DM: There’s so much liquid there,
DM: it literally doesn’t make
DM: sense where it came from.
DM: As now that you’re no longer feeling that you you feel a sharp pain
DM: um as though you know, like there’s
DM: Like a stabbing inside your stomach
DM: uh
DM: Sorry, hang on
Caitlin: And then you’re going to immediately heal all that damage, by the way, you’re actually
DM: Okay
DM: You’re going to take 26 points of poison damage as basically as far as you can tell, the liquid
Caitlin: not going to take any.
Caitlin: You’re welcome.
Caitlin: I’m going to so.
DM: completely devoured your insides and just created more of itself but yeah
Aragorn: Hey, you don’t.
Solvar: Right.
DM: congratulations maybe don’t just drink the first thing you see or two that’s
Solvar: Oh shit, there’s more bodies.
DM: fine friendly reminder you only got through two piles of bodies there’s like
Caitlin: Oh
DM: five more
Solvar: I’m gonna try to go back for more bodies.
Caitlin: Okay, okay, how about this?
Caitlin: I’m gonna I’m going to I’m going to bring
DM: Yeah, there you go.
Caitlin: Solar back into the room with me with a halfling is I’m going to is it like it like a table with like a desk
Caitlin: Okay, man, I wish I was joking with what I’m about to say
Caitlin: I’m gonna sit so far down at the desk like you’re on your PC
Solvar: I mean, I
Caitlin: I’m going to put my hands on the table, and I’m going to summon
Shain: Create food and water, yeah.
Caitlin: 45 pounds of food and 30 gallons of water.
DM: All right.
DM: How does Sylvar feel about the situation?
DM: Yep.
Aragorn: The whole tub of 30 gallons of water is just like grabbing and chugging it.
DM: Probably.
DM: Yep, probably, probably.
Caitlin: So far, here, here, look, eat this instead, because this is a spell that I realized that
Caitlin: that fucking paladins have.
Solvar: I assume he just could’ve started eating, because the man has not eaten a real meal in a long, long time.
Caitlin: So, yeah, there’s just an oil drum of water and then 45 pounds of food ore, enough to
Solvar: Yeah.
Solvar: I know you think you’re just gonna eat.
DM: Okay, that’s a lot of darn food!
Solvar: That’s so much funny food, but I assume yeah, I’m just going to town, pretty much.
Aragorn: Bye.
Caitlin: sustain up to 15 humanoids or 5 steeds for upwards of 24 hours.
Shain: spell, Mukbang spell.
Aerendyl: Why?
Caitlin: This is the muckbang spell.
Caitlin: So far having a muckbang, do you have like a, like the camera, are you muckbanging it?
Solvar: Yeah, I assume.
DM: He just kind of turns and looks at you and he says, I don’t even know why you people
Solvar: I’m talking about like the bullshit drama of my life as I’m just eating like a ton of spicy ramen right now
Caitlin: Okay, hell yeah.
Caitlin: Now, you and I, what is the halfling?
Solvar: Yeah
Caitlin: We have unfinished business.
Caitlin: Look, if I knew, if I knew, I would, trust me, I’d give you some light on the situation,
DM: are here, and I definitely don’t know why that one was eating bodies.
DM: I don’t know, it’s been like that since I came here.
Caitlin: But seeing as you’re the only person in this entire town with more than one brain cell
Solvar: You
Caitlin: that’s not one of us, I have a very important question for you, or two, I suppose.
Caitlin: One, what’s the deal with the wraiths that come out at night?
Caitlin: Is there any story for that?
Caitlin: How long have you been here?
DM: 6, 7 years now?
Caitlin: Does this town have, say, a shrine, an actual leader of some sort?
Caitlin: Basically what I’m looking for is some sort of understanding of what’s going on here.
Caitlin: The best way I think I can do that is looking…
DM: Okay, yeah, yes, yes, yes.
DM: I know what you’re expecting.
DM: You’re expecting a mayor, a leader,
DM: the strong, you know, something.
DM: Look, all right, these people barely function as a society.
Solvar: you
DM: It took me two years for them to understand that my medicine heals them, okay?
DM: There is no leader.
DM: There is no structural hierarchy.
Caitlin: I’m fully aware of that.
Caitlin: I’m aware.
DM: Whoever wins in the morning decides the rules of the day.
Caitlin: So who’s… there has to be somebody who’s undisputed.
Caitlin: Somebody who wins repeatedly.
DM: Usually, Roz wins, but all he ever does is tells people to bring him food.
Aragorn: Yeah
Caitlin: Look, I’ll wrap up essentially what I’m looking for.
DM: I think he’s honestly afraid of the forest, if I’m being honest.
Caitlin: I’m looking for a weapon, a blade, a physical object of some sort that would have either
DM: Look, you’re definitely in the wrong city.
Caitlin: been left behind by the people who were here before, when the Wraiths occurred, or be something
Caitlin: that is actively in the hands of the strongest being or person here.
Caitlin: That is my goal.
Aragorn: Yeah.
Caitlin: Hence my asking for a shrine or a museum, something like that, that might house something
Aragorn: Pretty much.
Caitlin: Something like that.
Aragorn: Yeah, pretty much.
Caitlin: Yeah, see, he’s getting it, he’s catching on.
DM: I mean, the further cities, I know that they have nicer things.
DM: If I remember correctly, I think Sunder has an actual, like, what?
Shain: Is there a new direction?
Shain: Nothing.
DM: Is everything just a Destiny 2 reference?
Shain: Mm-hmm.
DM: Um, he says, I think that Sunder has a shrine in the middle of the city, something, something,
Caitlin: But our Haste II Warhorse, how fast can we get to Sunder?
DM: something, the strongest guy there, something, something.
DM: I mean, there’s just nothing here to do anything with.
DM: Uh, Warhorse?
DM: Warhorse.
Aragorn: Thank you very much.
DM: Uh, Righty.
Caitlin: And it’s not a real horse, it’s a magical one, which means I can basically beat it to
DM: Alrighty, clocking, um, at, let’s see, if that’s gonna do that, hang on, I have to do
Caitlin: a max speed the whole time.
DM: math because of course I do.
DM: Times 1.2 multiplied by 4.
DM: You can go 115.2 miles per day on a
DM: a warhorse that’s hasted.
Caitlin: How many?
DM: 115.2.
DM: You could push it to go faster, but you’re going to…
Caitlin: So it takes two days.
Caitlin: It’s a two day journey.
Caitlin: Well, how much of the food has Solvar gotten
DM: You just look over and like half the food’s gone.
Caitlin: through in the last two minutes?
Solvar: Yeah, yeah.
Caitlin: It’s all gone.
DM: Just you’d think.
Caitlin: Okay, very important question.
Shain: So, uh, this is my, this is my, uh, thing, right?
Caitlin: So if half of it’s gone, Solvar’s eaten like what?
Solvar: Nothing.
Caitlin: 22 pounds of food and like 15 gallons of water, so far they’re stopping.
Solvar: Mm-hmm.
DM: You’d think that there’d be some type of stomach growth or something, nothing, nothing.
Solvar: To be fair, no, this is, Butter’s original creation was like, hey, if you want to join,
DM: For the record, for the record so far, you just hear in your mind,
Shain: Uh, glow, you go to, you go to Noah and you’re like, Hey, I want to play a homeless famine
Shain: man.
Shain: For my D&D character.
Solvar: I have a character I’ve been working on, tell me what you think, and I was like, looks good,
Solvar: Yeah, I’ll keep eating.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: That makes no sense, because I’d never see that happen.
Shain: Yes, I would like to play a hungry man.
Solvar: Hell yeah.
DM: mmm tastes good eat more as you just continue eating not a single question in
Solvar: Oh yeah.
DM: your mind you’ve heard that voice all your life it’s a friendly voice it’s got
Solvar: It exists.
DM: your best interest at heart obviously obviously um but yeah you just can’t you
Solvar: Obviously it wants me to keep eating.
Caitlin: I cast detect evil and good.
DM: just keep eating um you totally could uh any specific target anything you’re
Caitlin: Yeah, 30 feet around me.
DM: wanting to oh I was just asking if you had like a specific question or anything
Caitlin: Yeah, maybe the sludge that my boyfriend drank.
DM: yeah you cast it um
Shain: I don’t know if I want to say that.
DM: Okay, if we’re still within 30 feet of the sludge, you definitely sense an evil kind
Shain: Wait a minute, is this Thufflethorne on Dying Hunger?
DM: of quote-unquote presence in the sludge.
Caitlin: I
DM: But you know, we don’t talk about that.
DM: As far as that goes, pretty neutral vibes all around.
Shain: You don’t know.
DM: Well, it’s the whispering hunger, and considering the fact that she is eating and hearing whispers of a voice, I mean, I’m not saying it’s related, but I’m also not saying it’s unrelated.
Shain: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying.
Caitlin: I put my, the tip of my blade in the middle of the sludge and I ignite it, burned a sludge.
DM: Very well, very well.
DM: As you do that, nothing seems to happen, because it’s not oil, and it doesn’t seem flammable.
Caitlin: It’s still there.
Caitlin: Water, if there’s a pool of water on the ground and I stick a giant flame of, fuck, the water’s
DM: Yeah, it’s not evaporating.
Aerendyl: He doesn’t want you, bitch!
Solvar: No, I think I’m alright, but thanks.
Caitlin: gonna evaporate.
Caitlin: Okay, well then let’s leave.
Caitlin: So far, you wanna get married?
Shain: IRL marriage tactics.
Caitlin: You want a plus two bonus to your AC for the next month?
Caitlin: No.
Caitlin: Cooler.
Caitlin: I want a 24 AC, bro.
Caitlin: Okay, we’re gonna.
Solvar: You just want to marry me for the AC bonus, damn.
Caitlin: I
DM: you
Solvar: Let’s see how it is.
Shain: Is that an STD joke, oh, okay, that’s fair.
Caitlin: Think folks that’s kind of how it works
Caitlin: Um
Solvar: You didn’t get an AC bonus?
Caitlin: You get a nice you owes me on the fucking loser you didn’t get any bonus to the saving throws that’s for fucking sure um
Caitlin: All right, well we get to the warhorse
Caitlin: Let’s get
Caitlin: Let’s get no it’s a joke cuz you’re gonna die probably to blood poisoning
DM: You want to do what out there?
Shain: Yes, but I wanted to do that thing first, if I could.
Caitlin: All right
Caitlin: So far flux
Caitlin: Yeah, so false so far Shane and
Caitlin: Zavala and Aragorn y’all want to go see some shrine about the strongest, dude
Aragorn: Yes.
Caitlin: It’s fucking statue of Gojo
Caitlin: Yeah, we’re getting so far as far away from the sludge as fast as possible.
Shain: If not, then no worries.
DM: You want to do what, I’m sorry?
Shain: I reach out to the multiversal potential beings of the thing because of new knowledge
DM: Okay, uh, do you have, are you trying to do anything in particular?
DM: What is your
DM: plan, quote-unquote?
Caitlin: Thank you.
Shain: Yes, I want to get if if nothing I mean like if concentrating on it and like trying to focus on a
Shain: Possibility of more than one dimension being a thing in like multiple realities and the fact that my dodecahedron exists in each one
DM: you
Shain: Then someone somewhere through some knowledge has to know how to operate it
Shain: So I’m going to at least concentrate to figure out like maybe I can find somebody or get a location and if that doesn’t work
Shain: then I will run through every single spell that I have that is doodamancy based and
Shain: and try and make that work, and if that doesn’t work, then I’m done.
DM: Okay, yeah, so did you say you were putting…
Shain: Unless Shane has a better idea, but I don’t, I don’t know.
Aerendyl: Put it in.
Shain: Yes.
Caitlin: Silence.
DM: All right, all right, you said you were putting in spell slots though, right?
DM: Okay, as you kind of put in spell slots and you’re looking closely, you kind of see that
Shain: Reaching out, but if I can’t like,
Caitlin: You
DM: familiar glow that kind of condenses into a single dot inside the dodecahedron.
DM: But now that you’re trying to call out to someone, I’m sorry my brain is like completely
DM: dead.
DM: Did you say you were trying to reach out to anyone in particular or just basically breaching
DM: out okay as you call out with just a help me you can feel that normal connection where
Shain: can’t like I guess to be more specific I
Shain: want to reach out to someone that might
Shain: know how this operates but if I can’t be
Shain: that specific I’m literally just being
Shain: like help me
DM: your dodecahedron heats up and it seems to like try to connect to somewhere but
DM: now that you are trying to focus it elsewhere you can kind of sense that its
Shain: Hmm.
Shain: Huh.
Shain: Huh?
Solvar: You
DM: direction changes and kind of points inwards to the dodecahedron as the kind
DM: of dots start swirling around you hear a voice in your mind it’s kind of what I’m
DM: looking for quiet, but at the same time unnerving.
DM: As it says, I can help with whatever you need.
Shain: Mmm, the way he said that makes my spine kind of tingle, uh.
DM: Just tell me where you are.
Shain: Since this is the first time Shane has ever heard a voice directly come from Vox, alright,
Shain: he’s gonna be like, hmm, okay, okay, okay.
Shain: He considers it for a second, then realized worst thing that could happen is we blow up
Shain: bunch of idiots in this area and I’m like okay and I’ll be like I’ll say out
Shain: loud well um didn’t expect to actually hear anything hi um yeah I you want to
DM: You asked for help?
Shain: know where I am
Shain: yeah I did I’m I’ll give my X Y & Z minecraft edition
DM: He just kind of chuckles and says not where you are on the physical plane.
Shain: Well, I know, I’m pretty sure I’ve heard the name mentioned, Christallis, I think.
DM: What universe are you in?
DM: How can I find you?
Shain: That’s, that’s what they call it, but I don’t know if that’s the world.
Shain: I don’t know.
Shain: What scale are we talking?
Aragorn: talking to a multi-universe plane oh i don’t know where i’m at by the way my name is shane
Shain: Also, I’m Shane.
DM: He just kind of chuckles and says, still new to this, eh?
Aragorn: nice to meet you mr multi-universal experience
Shain: Yeah.
Shain: Pretty much.
Shain: Is this a raid mechanic?
Aragorn: Twiddlestums, yeah.
DM: Just keep at it, you’ll figure it out soon enough.
DM: Because the kind of stars stop swirling.
Aerendyl: L2, R2.
DM: But you notice that they seem to restore back to the same position that they were before.
DM: Almost as though they’re pulled to lock into a specific way.
Shain: Hang on.
DM: Is this a raid mechanic?
Shain: All right, dragon, I’m gonna need clear comms.
Shain: I need special finishers on the ads in the back.
Shain: All right, we need him over.
Aerendyl: I’m dead.
Aerendyl: I need a rez.
Shain: Okay, guardian down.
Aerendyl: Blue, white.
Shain: Everyone’s starting white.
Aerendyl: I need a rally.
Shain: Nate’s changing his build again.
Aerendyl: wife?
Shain: Oh, okay.
Aerendyl: I need a rally.
DM: You guys are some of the stupidest people I know.
Caitlin: Thanks.
Shain: Yeah, so then I guess I can’t physically change the diet.
Caitlin: Appreciate you.
DM: Anytime.
Shain: I can’t physically change the doha- could I
DM: Say that again.
Shain: move the dohachihedron physically to make the stars realign in the way that I saw it?
Shain: Can I physically move the dohachihedron into the position I saw it, like the stars were- or the
Shain: alignments were there, like I want to go back.
Shain: I want to- it’s- my brain is thinking a Rubik’s Cube,
Shain: I’m thinking I want to put it back the way I saw it.
DM: Make an Arcana check for me, please.
DM: Three.
Shain: I like how you gave me a little smile, it made me feel something.
Aragorn: Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Shain: Please, please.
Shain: I want to go home, please.
Shain: Yeah!
Shain: Okay, hang on, hang on.
Shain: What’s our arcana?
Shain: Oh, I forgot.
Shain: I gotta go over this.
Shain: Shane, be useful.
Shain: Be useful.
Shain: Please tell me a 30 is good enough.
Shain: You got this.
DM: Wow.
DM: Okay.
DM: Three seconds.
DM: Sorry.
DM: Give me a second.
DM: Yeah, sorry, it does that sometimes.
Shain: Drink some Dr. Pepper.
Shain: Is the headache hitting?
Shain: Yeah, I remember.
DM: Okay, yeah, sure.
Shain: Yeah.
DM: You just kind of grab onto the Dodecahedron, and you can’t actually move the dots inside,
DM: the stars, but you kind of just imagine them moving, and you can kind of see them following
DM: exactly what you’re thinking.
DM: As they rearrange themselves into what you try to remember it to look like, it seems
Shain: Can I make a history check to get like, Shane has very good memory or whatever type of thing.
DM: more or less right to you, but nothing seems to happen.
DM: Sure.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: To make sure I’m doing this right.
Shain: Okay, a plus 10 ain’t too bad.
Shain: All right
Shain: So a 24
DM: okay um 24 you are pretty confident that it’s you’re pretty confident that it’s in the correct
Shain: I need this I need this if it’s not high enough.
Shain: Mm-hmm
DM: orientation but for whatever reason it’s not seeming to connect in the in the way that you
Shain: Oh
DM: you needed to.
Shain: What if I give us some juice hang on what if I what if I
Shain: Power transfer it as it’s here because this is this is uh, this is a it’s locking into place taps brain
DM: Oh.
Shain: What if I pour in like I don’t know a couple spell slots into it
Shain: You just tell me when you just tell me when
DM: Yeah.
DM: Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.
Shain: Yeah, I don’t know what you’re talking about.
DM: You can totally dump some spell
DM: thoughts into it.
DM: But as you kind of you start with like the level one you don’t need to put
DM: any more than that as you can kind of see the stars just pulsate a little bit as another one of
DM: the it kind of coalesces into another star right at the center and you can kind of feel that
Solvar: Thank you.
DM: connection again.
DM: As he says, ah, so you figured it out.
Shain: oh my god what do you mean most there’s oh that’s right I forget there’s
DM: Better than most.
Shain: nothing wait hang on hang on hang on hang on almighty being of the multiverse I
Shain: have a question for you are you a stereo or whatever that God is that’s the time
DM: That’s the first I’ve heard of a god by the name of that.
Shain: of void or are you something completely different
Shain: I don’t think it’s a stereo, I think I have it wrong.
Shain: I don’t know, I read it somewhere in a book, but I forget things sometimes.
Shain: Anyways, if you’re not, that’s fine, I’m just curious.
Shain: But what do you mean most?
Shain: Is there like a bunch of different
DM: I don’t think I’ve met a trug.
Shain: me’s?
Shain: A bunch of different, like, trugs?
Caitlin: There’s a bunch of different drugs, that’s a sentence that will never be uttered ever
Shain: You meant truck, right?
Shain: My name is Rita, but I am evil
Caitlin: again.
Caitlin: Is there a bunch of different drugs?
Caitlin: Fucking troglodyte.
Caitlin: My name is VTAP.
Shain: Okay, never mind I’m not gonna say I’ll think well he kind of shows up here and there when I like
DM: I see.
Shain: add some of my
Shain: Energy into the dark agent and he hasn’t been recently but I don’t know.
Shain: I think he’s left me on read
Shain: But
Shain: so I
DM: Well, that’s an oversimplification, but sure, you’d be surprised how many find it difficult
Shain: Figured it out.
Shain: What is it exactly?
Shain: I figured out other than I can lock the stars into place and then I hear your voice
Shain: Yeah, very very much
Shain: Hmm, I would be very surprised because I don’t know anyone other than you and the other guy.
DM: just to bend the artifacts to their will.
Shain: By the way, how hard is it to go back to a different reality because where I am, I don’t
Shain: I don’t know if this is a normal thing.
Shain: Temporal displacement feels like
Caitlin: I’m terrified of where this is going.
Shain: the world around me is collapsing.
DM: The world around you is collapsing.
Shain: So,
Shain: not necessarily collapsing.
Shain: More so like, you know time strands, right?
DM: Ah, you’re not in your home universe.
Shain: Yeah.
Shain: No, I’m not.
Shain: I need to get back.
DM: Phew.
Shain: In fact, I needed to go back.
Caitlin: What?
Shain: Looks at watch, realizes it’s not there.
Shain: Like two, five months ago.
Shain: Yeah, my body’s breaking down, huh?
DM: It’s amazing you’re still alive there.
DM: Doesn’t the strain just break your body down?
DM: Do you not feel the pain?
Caitlin: Flux are going to die.
DM: No.
Shain: I’ve never felt pain, right?
Shain: Well, um, no, not really.
Shain: I mean, I’m just able to be here.
Shain: I mean, other than the fact
Shain: that, uh, when I, so Chug shoved a time strand into my chest and I saw 155 million different
Shain: variants of me with all the decisions that I could make and all of them led to my death,
Shain: except one, but I don’t know if he accounted for this or not.
DM: I don’t understand how you’re even still alive.
Shain: So I’m not entirely sure.
Shain: You seem pretty wise.
Shain: I like you.
Shain: Wow.
Shain: At least, I think it’s almost been a year, probably, at this point.
DM: Visiting another universe is a powerful tool, but it comes with many drawbacks.
DM: Usually you can’t stay in a different universe for more than a couple days.
DM: Oh, you’re torn apart.
DM: But you say you’ve been here for months.
Shain: So basically, now Shane’s going to actually, if there’s a chair in this place, he’s going
DM: Very bizarre indeed.
DM: Maybe that explains why I can’t find you.
DM: Tell me more of this Trug character.
Shain: to like make sure.
Shain: Okay, question.
DM: No, you hear it inside your mind.
Shain: Is the Dohecahedron like a Discord call on speaker where I can hear him speaking from
Shain: More in the brain, okay.
Caitlin: You
Shain: Okay, okay, so that works.
DM: It’s literally echoing in your mind.
Shain: I’m gonna make sure all the shutters are shut
Shain: if they have that.
Shain: Actually, they probably don’t.
Shain: They’re too primal.
Shain: I’m gonna make sure the windows aren’t open.
Shain: They probably don’t have windows.
Shain: They probably don’t have glass.
Shain: How do they even have…
DM: They have cutouts in the wall.
Shain: It’s beautiful.
DM: I wish I was making this up.
Shain: Dude.
DM: Says the DM who made it all up.
Shain: Well, it’s much…
Shain: Well, so as like Shane is looking around,
Shain: just make sure no one’s like gonna hear him.
Shain: Yeah, basically there’s this goblin trog, trog, whatever.
Shain: Originally when I came here,
Shain: ran into a group of people, stuck with that group of people,
Shain: that group of people changed.
Shain: I’ve been trying to get back home,
Shain: learned a lot of stuff about the Doi Hykohedron
DM: I see.
Shain: and what I thought it was.
Shain: Also don’t know if that’s the name of it.
Shain: I just call it that because that’s the shape of a dice,
Shain: but don’t worry about it.
Shain: And then he basically just shows up if I pour enough energy into my doha cohesion
DM: That is abnormal, to say the least.
Shain: Yeah
DM: You don’t call out to him?
Shain: No, well kind of he’s
DM: He just-
DM: Yes.
DM: For the record, the first time that you saw him, he just showed up in your inn.
Shain: Butter has ever been a time.
Shain: He showed up without my will being like, okay.
Shain: Never mind.
Shain: Yeah
Shain: Uh, there was a couple of times here and there he could just show up.
Caitlin: But then he just blocked Flux, right?
DM: He popped up behind you to warn you not to go to certain places.
DM: You’ve heard him in your mind, even when you had nothing to do with the direct agent at
DM: at the time.
Shain: Gotcha.
Caitlin: He’s ghosting you.
Shain: Basically I’m on his blacklist.
DM: Pretty much.
Caitlin: Flux, are you blocked or are you being ghosted?
DM: Yep.
Shain: Left on red.
Shain: I don’t know.
Shain: Probably both.
Shain: I can’t tell, my messages aren’t sending through.
Caitlin: Thanks a lot.
Shain: But I basically tell them all that stuff.
DM: Yeah, all right.
DM: He just kind of takes it all in before he says,
DM: Given what you’re saying, I can’t imagine the amount of power required to take off an artifact.
Shain: Well, I mean, I’d never really push to see it, but he doesn’t seem necessarily the threatening
DM: Has he ever told you to go anywhere?
Shain: type or powerful type.
Shain: I mean, he definitely could be if he can do that from what you say and how you say it.
Shain: also yes actually so he’s told me not to go certain places and he’s told me to
DM: He says, I don’t know where this serious place is, but if what I think is right, you should
Shain: go to Syriza no he didn’t say no he said stay away from Zirism I don’t remember
Shain: honestly short-term memory loss
Shain: yep that’s right the God just told me
Shain: Okay, we’d like a little bit of context to know what’s happening.
DM: Go there immediately.
Caitlin: Are you going to get us home, Cookie?
Shain: First of all, no disrespect, I really do appreciate it, who are you and why are you helping?
Aerendyl: Hey Flux, look at your DM.
Shain: Or why are you in this…
Shain: Cohesion
DM: I’m super sorry.
DM: One second.
Shain: No worries
Shain: I’m gonna try I’m trying man
DM: Okay, um, he says, I do apologize, I never introduced myself, I’m Sybdil.
Shain: Hmm
Shain: My DM on what Oh
Aerendyl: On Discord.
Aerendyl: I reorganized my one-piece shelf.
Shain: Yeah, whoo
Shain: I like it dragon.
Shain: It looks good
DM: And, uh, Iwa?
Shain: It was a very lovely name Shane Shane everyone Oh
Caitlin: You said you’re from Eberron.
DM: Ah, everyone.
Shain: Everyone what do you mean?
Shain: Wait, hang on.
Aerendyl: And the n-word.
Shain: Hang on.
Shain: Hang on back up a little bit my alright, what do you mean?
Shain: Oh, what do you mean?
Caitlin: You’re getting sent to the wrong home.
Shain: No.
Caitlin: You auto-cracked.
Shain: No!
DM: He just says,
Caitlin: Again.
Caitlin: Say it again.
Caitlin: See you again.
DM: It’s just a reoccurring name.
Shain: Hmm?
DM: hear it a lot.
Shain: Well, I don’t hear it that often where I am.
Shain: So I’m, hey, continue.
Shain: But I do want to track back to that, just going to be honest,
Shain: if that’s fine.
DM: Yeah.
Shain: OK, sweet.
DM: Anyways, the only thing I can think of is that this Trug fellow is the one
Shain: Hmm.
Caitlin: I figured it out.
DM: and you’re the universe you’re currently in with his own artifacts basically the
Shain: But there’s another one, right?
DM: time strands can empower the artifact and the only way to create them is for
Aragorn: Oh
Shain: I see.
Shain: A traveler.
DM: traveler to visit a universe.
Solvar: Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
Caitlin: backwards is evil wait the reveal of the year
Shain: Okay.
Shain: Wait.
DM: Wait, traveling backwards is GERD.
Aragorn: Offing backwards is e-fuck
Shain: Gurt.
Aragorn: Oh, yeah, wait, wait, no
Shain: GURT!
Aragorn: wait
Shain: Andrew!
Shain: Andrew, were you shrugged this whole time?
DM: Garret, that’s not a guilty one, it’s a happy one.
Solvar: I don’t know why I’m laughing.
Shain: It all comes back.
Aerendyl: Fucking shit.
DM: Hang on here, I got this.
DM: Oh my gosh.
Shain: So he’s basically just telling me like,
DM: There we go.
DM: Uh, he said it empowers the artifacts, and the only way to generate them is for a traveler
Shain: the strands empower something.
Shain: I forgot it was a song.
Shain: Uh-huh.
Shain: Okay, and now question, what is a traveler other than Destiny 2?
DM: to come to your universe.
DM: What you are, someone not native to a universe.
DM: Their mere existence changes how the world works, and creates the time strands as a by-part.
Shain: So how can I create the time strands, or can I?
DM: You’re… are you saying you don’t actively see them?
Shain: Not currently, no.
DM: Normally, they just materialize around you.
Shain: Is it like?
Shain: Wow, I mean, not for me, unless I’m doing something wrong, but sometimes when I cast
DM: Generally, as you interact with the world, your presence fundamentally changes the trajectory of the world.
DM: It creates the strands every time you touch something.
DM: Cast magic.
DM: You have byproducts of your magic?
Shain: I go into a feral state of eating dirt, and I’m not kidding
Shain: Specifically
Shain: The what I’ve dubbed is dunamancy.
Shain: Yeah
Shain: But normal spells like you know your regular joke and cast like fireball whatever.
Shain: That’s just normal anything to do with
DM: He just kind of pauses and says,
Shain: This type of stuff typically makes my body freak out or for instance actually I think about it for instance
Shain: I can’t move my hand right now
DM: I will have to do more research.
DM: Contact me in a week’s time.
DM: But for now, I highly encourage you, go to where he told you not to.
DM: I can’t imagine he has your best interest at heart.
Shain: Okay
Shain: Yeah, it doesn’t sound like it and I think about it and the more you make sense and you’re very nice
DM: Not recently, just in most universes, either by fate or by chance,
Shain: I like you.
Shain: Um, I
Shain: Appreciate your help.
Shain: Also, can we just quickly track back to what’s the Everon for you’ve heard the name a lot recently
Shain: How so I only have my father and mother and me and then their grandparents, but they never told me anything about the grandparents
Shain: Huh, interesting.
DM: The Artifact ended up choosing one with the name Averon.
Shain: So, Trug Evaron.
DM: Not all, of course, I am an exception.
Shain: Huh, that doesn’t really roll off the tongue.
Shain: No.
DM: And there are many throughout the…
Shain: So, you’re basically on a different universe, or you’re on a different plane then.
DM: throughout the worlds.
Shain: You’re
Shain: another person.
Shain: You’re not a divine being, correct?
Shain: I’m not trying to undersell you, but…
DM: Think of it more like universal planes.
DM: The gods are omniversal, and the planes exist in different universes.
DM: The plane, for example, the material plane, I presume it’s where you are, in your world
DM: is different than mine.
Shain: That’s true.
DM: But they operate under the same fundamental principles.
Shain: Okay, well
Shain: I’ll contact you soon.
Shain: I am that’s cool
Shain: In the yeah, i’ll do some experimenting.
DM: He kind of pauses, because you kind of hear him stuttering.
Shain: This is this good to meet you.
Shain: Um
Shain: i’m very surprised this happened, but
Shain: Uh, I will let you go
Shain: That’s alpha
DM: I…
DM: Given your abnormal ability to wield the artifact, you are taking good care of it, right?
Shain: I didn’t like okay I’m not trying to break it I have hit it because I’ve
DM: It will not stay hitting it or trying to harm it or destroy it, right?
DM: Restores what was is certainly a statement.
Shain: realized something changes but I haven’t hit it a lot I have messed around with
Shain: it but for the most part if I hit something and I give it some of my
Shain: energy back, it restores what was so I’m really hoping I didn’t murder like an
Shain: entire multiverse
DM: Think of it this way.
DM: The artifact is a gateway to worlds.
Shain: hmm
DM: Anything you do to it affects those worlds, in the
Shain: okay well
DM: same way with mine.
DM: Here, let me show you.
Shain: Oh
DM: As you don’t, like, hear anything, but you,
DM: all of you would, at the same time, basically feel an earthquake.
DM: Not much, but just a small
DM: one.
Shain: Huh, oh, okay.
Shain: Well, hey nice to know
DM: He says, and I barely flicked it, just be cautious.
Shain: God oh, oh
DM: Yes, one week’s time.
Shain: I’m so sorry
Shain: Thank you for the warning, I’m gonna take really good care of this.
Shain: Is there like a gohecahedron on the go bag that keeps it safe from rattling around?
Shain: Nevermind.
Shain: I’m gonna make one of those.
Shain: Maybe I can have Arendelle do it.
Shain: It’s been a pleasure.
Shain: I’ll talk to you soon.
Shain: Yeah, I’m gonna count down right now, but I’m setting up my clock for exactly, yep,
DM: Internal clock.
Caitlin: Thank you.
Shain: my internal clock for EXACTLY one week.
DM: Roger, roger.
Shain: Alright, and then I’m assuming it’s just, it’s…
Shain: Okay, something that hasn’t happened, and hopefully no one comes back to this shed.
DM: basically not not not actually you do feel the connection just end and the
DM: stars kind of return to where they were inside Pseudodicahedron.
DM: Okay, I believe at this point you guys have gone through the entirety of the village and
Shain: That’s all I’m going to say, because I’ll DM it to you in a minute, Noah.
Shain: But yeah, you guys can have fun and continue.
Shain: Have fun!
DM: now you just have to decide where you guys want to go now.
Aerendyl: I already know where I wanna go.
DM: Like I said, you guys are chillin’ in Crumbleton, alright?
DM: Now technically, you do have a route back north from Crumbleton.
DM: There is a road that leads out that you could take all the way up here into Frostwood, and
DM: then go from there up to Glaceview and then to Judicar.
DM: It is technically an option.
Aerendyl: I mean, even if it’s the long way, I think it’s best to go
DM: It’s not the best option.
DM: Any of you that are familiar with the area know that this area, particularly through
DM: here, is very busy with monsters, and of course Frostwick and Glaceview are some of their
Aragorn: That’s what I’m thinking.
DM: more densely populated cities.
DM: But it is an option.
Aerendyl: Probably to Jason, and go straight to Comcrest from there.
DM: Just for the record, it doesn’t show it here.
DM: But slight metagame knowledge.
DM: This road here that goes into this, there’s another thing over here on this side, essentially.
Aerendyl: I think it’s… what?
Aerendyl: Go to Jason…
DM: Because this is all mountain range here.
Aerendyl: Yeah.
Aerendyl: I mean, we have a map.
DM: It’s slight metagame knowledge to know that, but at the same time, I don’t want you guys
DM: to get, you know, got.
Aerendyl: I think our best bet is going to Jason, and then have a little fun at the Coliseum, because
Aragorn: Yeah, yeah, we’re just, computer, quickest route.
DM: Yeah.
Aerendyl: we’re gonna be there anyways.
Aerendyl: Might as well have a little fun at the Coliseum.
Aerendyl: But I say we go to Conquest, because one, we’ve been there.
Shain: All right, should we get Andrew back to his, okay, yeah.
Aerendyl: me and… yeah, that’s what we’re doing.
Aerendyl: We have to get back to Judacar.
Aerendyl: The safest route and best route is go all the way from Crumbleton to Jason, maybe fuck
DM: Yes, yep, actually there’s a possibility you could do so in Average Hill.
Aerendyl: around with the Colosseum for a little bit, and we’re going to Calmcrest, which through
Aerendyl: Calmcrest we can then get to Judacar.
Shain: Gotcha, unless I can figure out
Aerendyl: Yeah.
Shain: how to teleport with my duck agent.
Aerendyl: Butter, wasn’t Calmcrest the place where I got on that giant eagle?
Aerendyl: Yeah, so we can get a giant eagle ride all the way to Judacar.
DM: could just call up your your criminal organization.
Aerendyl: My buddies.
Aerendyl: By the way, how are they doing, huh?
DM: They’re fine.
Aerendyl: How’s that lady cracking?
DM: They could not find the woman that you said that
DM: whatever her name was, Serenity.
DM: They have continued to look.
DM: They now
DM: have bases, proper installations in every single
DM: City and Bontraint and Lavontia.
Aerendyl: Okay.
DM: So they’re cooked and ready to go.
Aerendyl: Okay, but what is,
Aerendyl: I know what, Andrew, you agree with me, go to Jason, head up to here.
Aragorn: That’s what I’m thinking, probably the easiest way.
Solvar: Bye-bye.
Aerendyl: What about the other party members?
Aragorn: Nate, go.
Aerendyl: Nate’s good.
Aerendyl: What about you, Flux?
Aerendyl: Are you okay with doing that?
Shain: I’m gonna you’re just gonna yeah, that’s fine.
Aerendyl: It’d be safer than going to Frostwick, yeah.
DM: I
Aerendyl: I think our first stop should be George Bottom.
Shain: I
Shain: Will say I
Aerendyl: I also want to check out the metal worker that that one guy was talking about.
Caitlin: You made this joke a little, yeah.
Shain: Will say wait, is that caldera wait guys
Shain: nice.
Shain: Sorry, anytime I see the word now I think of destiny.
Aerendyl: Yes, we know, we’ve made this joke 40 times!
DM: Played these games before
Aerendyl: Oh dear, I’m scared.
DM: you
Aerendyl: Guys I need to get a B plus rating, and 15 precision kills.
Shain: I will say you are not going to see Shane unless you go like actively search for him
Shain: at his current time.
Aerendyl: Oh by the way, Butter.
Aerendyl: After my shtick, I probably would have just went back to the house and worked on my blueprints.
Shain: No.
Aerendyl: But if the door was locked, then I would assume there’s some fuckery going on and I would
Aerendyl: of just like being near a tree.
DM: I’m sorry repeat that just one more time just make sure I thought what you said
Aerendyl: So after what we did,
DM: yeah okay as you kind of approach the house you just hear what for all intents
Aerendyl: I probably would have went back to the house.
Aerendyl: But if Shane was there and the door was locked,
Aerendyl: I probably wouldn’t have interfered.
DM: and purposes the sound of a crazy person mumbling to themselves just you kind of
DM: like peer in through the holes in the walls and he literally has drawings all
DM: over the walls where he’s actually like kind of peeled up some of the walls to
DM: write underneath it and behind it as you’re just not really sure what’s going
Shain: I
DM: on with him he’s just mumbling to himself and looking around crazed
Aragorn: Thank you.
DM: turning around grabbing the grabbing his dodecahedron just looking at it and
DM: and turning it and putting it back down.
Shain: Figured yeah, perfect
Aerendyl: as soon as I see this I’m just gonna I’m gonna peek around the corner see and be
Aerendyl: like yeah I’m just gonna go that way I walked the opposite direction and I’m
Aerendyl: trying to find if this town has like a like a bar
DM: Bar, yes, the one establishment that they have.
Aerendyl: yeah yeah
DM: There is a bar chilling in Crumbleton.
DM: Specifically, it’s going to be this building right here.
DM: As you kind of walk in, even though it is now only 9 o’clock in the morning, this place
Aragorn: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
DM: is packed.
DM: There’s already a multitude of people drunk.
DM: Bar fights are very clearly a continual thing as they barely tried to fix the bar stools.
DM: You just see essentially where the barstool was originally maybe crafted or imported or
DM: whatever with the nice cylindrical feet and everything.
DM: They’ve just been replaced slowly but surely with additional planks that have just been
DM: nailed in here and there.
Shain: You
DM: The tables are more surfaces to put your drink on than tables as if you probably leaned on
DM: it too hard it would just snap in half.
DM: But A, they have a decent bar with
Aerendyl: I’m gonna walk up to the- is there someone manning the bar?
DM: unlimited drinks ready for the drinking.
DM: No.
Aerendyl: It’s just yoink.
DM: So funnily enough, apparently, you know, working at a bar is beneath these
Aerendyl: Shit, I’m gonna find a corner and just drink my heart out.
DM: wonderful fighters, so instead they just have just a whole bunch of kegs with
DM: things on them, and just a bunch of cups, so have at it.
Aerendyl: I can’t get drunk.
Aerendyl: I know.
Aerendyl: And I’m just gonna be waiting there for the most part until everyone else is done with
DM: Yep.
DM: All right.
DM: As far as everyone else, what’s up?
Aerendyl: and stuff.
Caitlin: I thought we were on the horse going to location.
DM: Andrew forward slash Nate forward slash so far I just realized yeah okay so okay you’re
Aerendyl: I’m Jill.
Shain: I’m staying where I am, I’m on my schizo moment, alright?
Caitlin: If you’re asking what we’re doing, we’re on the way there.
DM: just like on the way to just to make sure I’m following where oh oh okay so
Aragorn: I guess so.
Aerendyl: Yeah, I guess they are.
Caitlin: The place where the thing was, he was like, the strongest.
Shain: You told me?
DM: you guys just left left town you’re just leaving stinking dragon and what’s
Caitlin: Yeah.
DM: behind?
DM: Okay.
Caitlin: We told Shane where we were going, and then the three of us got on the horse.
Aragorn: That is true.
Caitlin: Yeah!
Caitlin: On the way out, because we said you were going to come and we asked if you wanted to come
Shain: I don’t remember this.
DM: Now just keep in mind, without blocks your journey will take four times
Caitlin: with us, Flux!
Caitlin: It would take four days, that’s right.
Caitlin: Oh, it would take four days, that’s right, because where do you think we got H2 from?
Shain: Hey, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew,
DM: longer because you guys can’t cast haste two.
DM: You guys got phase 2 from Eldon, Arkenbridge, and Lumineppia.
Caitlin: I just want to give you a way to live life now.
Aragorn: We got Haste 2 from Lux.
Shain: Hey, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, you, you feel a divine, no, sorry, Shane-ish energy
Shain: radiating off of the, uh, the orb that I gave it.
Aragorn: The orb thing.
Shain: It’s a bead about, like, if you hold your
Shain: fingers out and make, like, a small little tiny thing, that’s about how big it is.
Shain: But
Shain: But if you just look at the horse, theoretically, yes it is.
DM: you
Aragorn: You know, you know, you know, you know, you know, uh, flux, is this a one-time use thing?
Caitlin: .
Aragorn: Hmm
Shain: But here’s the thing.
Shain: I can create more every day.
Aragorn: Oh
Aerendyl: Well, I’m at the bar?
Aragorn: Ends wagging your stainless flux here
Aragorn: Or are you coming along with us
Aerendyl: I don’t know, I don’t think I ever saw you.
Aerendyl: Would I have seen them, Butter?
Shain: Mm-hmm.
Shain: If not.
DM: Uh, probably not.
Aerendyl: If I didn’t see you, then no, I would not know where to even look for you.
Aragorn: Yeah.
Aerendyl: What I might do is, Butter, at the bar, I’m enjoying my time, right?
DM: Of course.
Aerendyl: Andrew still has his orb, right, of Zoom?
DM: Uh, yes.
DM: Ooh.
Aerendyl: Flux gave his to…
DM: Fox gave his up, so yes, Andrew does his.
Shain: There’s so many people here.
Aerendyl: Then I’m just gonna use it to contact Andrew at this point.
DM: Just in the background, you literally just hear, why did you call my mom?
Aerendyl: I’m just gonna be like, I’m just gonna be like, you’re a chug, where are you?
Aerendyl: You just hear a bunch of ogres in the background fighting each other.
DM: Nah, he’s on the chair.
Shain: You almost punched your catnip.
Aerendyl: I CALLED HER A SKANK!
DM: He’s okay.
Aerendyl: But I’m just gonna be like, where are you at, guys?
DM: You
Aerendyl: I turn around for one second and you’re all gone!
Aerendyl: And I’ll send it.
Aerendyl: Are you ladies by 217?
DM: No, there’s no ring ring you pull your you’re just walking walking just hey, where’d you guys go?
Aragorn: I think he died.
DM: It’s
Shain: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,
Aerendyl: Heh heh heh heh.
Aragorn: I think he fell off a cliff, which is weird because I didn’t see any cliffs.
Aerendyl: E-Eragon?
Aragorn: I only saw… Yes?
Aragorn: Yes, I thought you fell off a cliff.
Aerendyl: Are you there?
Aerendyl: Why would I fall off a cliff?
Aragorn: Well, cuz you said where are you, uh-huh?
Aerendyl: Are you even near a cliff?
Aerendyl: No, I said, where are you?
Aerendyl: Ah, like I- no, not like that.
Aragorn: Mmm.
Shain: Oh, OK.
Aerendyl: No, there’s free ale here, there’s free ale.
Aragorn: Oh, uh, we’re going, we’re going, who was the strongest guy’s name again?
Aerendyl: I recommend coming to the bar, it’s free.
Caitlin: No, we’re not going to see the guy, we’re going to the town, which is in, we are currently
Aerendyl: Anyways, where you at?
DM: Yep.
Aerendyl: I kind of lost you.
Aragorn: What was his name?
Aragorn: We are on the way to Sundered Doctrine.
DM: Yes.
Caitlin: going to sunder Doctrine.
Solvar: Bye.
Aerendyl: Are you going to be passing by George Bottom?
Aerendyl: Oh, well, that’s great.
Aerendyl: I want to go there anyways.
Aerendyl: Uh…
Aerendyl: I was about to say, have you guys already left?
Aerendyl: Do you want me to grab Shane?
Aerendyl: He’s currently mumbling to himself in a shack.
Aerendyl: Yeah, I’ll go knock on his door, I’mma head back.
DM: Okie-dokie.
DM: Hi.
DM: Something like that.
Aerendyl: If I’m not there within the next 45 minutes, feel free to take off.
Aragorn: Sure.
DM: Yeah.
Aerendyl: I’m going to go to the house.
Shain: How long would it have been since he left?
Shain: Like 20 minutes?
Shain: Okay, he’s still in the same state pretty much.
Shain: So I guess if it depends on what Dragon does, like if I were to put this to you in the best
DM: I don’t know how to do it.
Aerendyl: wait, so shane is currently in like some really good shit, like he’s trying to figure out shit?
Shain: way possible, Dragon, you know, at the very, at the very beginning of the campaign, remember
Aerendyl: don’t fuck with you
Shain: how there was that one, like, glimpse of Shane almost mad.
Shain: Not, like, mad as in angry, but
Shain: like, holy crap.
Aerendyl: uh huh
Shain: Like, this is the first time I’ve ever casted this.
Aerendyl: yeah
Aerendyl: So, if I had to assume, you don’t want to be messed with.
DM: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it’s fine.
Shain: It’s that times 20.
Shain: No!
Shain: Do I have to say it?
Shain: It’s up to you, I don’t- I don’t- You could roll a check to see if you think I’m safe
Shain: to talk to.
Shain: A 5-check!
Aerendyl: I want to see if, yeah.
Shain: Make a 5-check!
Shain: Sorry, I took over Roland’s DM for a second, Noah.
Aerendyl: Can I make a vibe check?
DM: Take a vibe check.
Aerendyl: I wanna see if Flux is talkable, like can I communicate with him or is he fuckin’ weird?
Aragorn: See in a padded cell.
Aerendyl: I have to use my first lucky of the day, I’ve rolled like shit.
Aerendyl: Okay that’s better, uh, religion!
Aragorn: So here’s the thing.
Aerendyl: Where’s my religion?
Aerendyl: Uh, Nate, that’s a- sorry, not Nate, uh, Butter, that’s a twenty… two.
Shain: Yeah, you definitely are good.
DM: Yeah, you seem fine.
Shain: In my opinion.
Shain: You, you get the sense that even though Shane
DM: you
Aerendyl: The door’s locked, right?
Shain: is like, you see him and he’s like kind of twitchy, sporadic, very, sort of less that
Shain: more like just crawling.
Shain: But you get the sense that you would be fine to speak with him.
Shain: out of everyone, I think he trusts you the most, and you’re pretty sure of that.
Aerendyl: I’m just gonna knock.
Shain: At the moment, but, y’know.
Shain: yeah yeah who is it what did you oh okay uh yeah um come on in i’m gonna walk over and
Aerendyl: three times.
Aerendyl: Shane?
Aerendyl: Um, it’s Arendelle?
Shain: just unlock the door hey hey bloodshot eyes you see his fingernails
Aerendyl: I’m gonna creak it open, be like, uh, oh, shit.
Aerendyl: Um, Shane, uh, I think, I think the party’s rounding up and we’re trying to leave town
DM: No, no, no.
DM: I know exactly what he’s doing.
DM: He’s doing this number here.
Aragorn: Yes, indeed.
DM: I don’t need sleep!
Shain: I need answers yes pretty much pretty much
DM: I need answers!
DM: You
Shain: Yeah, we can leave more than just this town.
Aerendyl: there, um, Aragorn- what?
Aerendyl: Uh, Aragorn said, um, Aragorn said we’re heading to Sunder,
DM: Think it’s white
Aragorn: Yes
Aerendyl: uh, we’re going through George Bottom, uh, and we’re trying to round up everybody so
Aragorn: Indeed
Aragorn: Yes, we are
Aerendyl: we can go and we don’t get swept up.
Aragorn: We are currently packing up right now
Shain: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no, hey, hey, hey,
Aerendyl: I’m just still on the orb.
Shain: I have something.
Aragorn: Yep, yep, you never hung up
Aerendyl: Oh shit, beep.
Aragorn: I’ve been hearing that okay
Aragorn: Talk about low-budget flights, no snacks or movies.
Shain: You should really make sure not to leave that on
Shain: because people might hear something.
Aerendyl: No self-service in this bitch.
Shain: So you do notice that on the walls specifically,
Shain: like the, whatever material was there
DM: Silence.
Shain: been peeled a little bit back and it’s mostly just untangible scribbles.
Aerendyl: Um, you might want to cover those up… when we leave.
Shain: it’s
Shain: written in netherese, but even Shane doesn’t know what it is, pretty much.
Shain: however…
Shain: oh no, it’s fine, it’s fine.
Shain: it’s good.
Shain: well, it’ll be fine.
Aerendyl: We’re not coming back.
Shain: so, well, no, I don’t plan to.
Aerendyl: Well, then you might want to cover your tracks.
Shain: I’m not coming back to this place ever again.
Aerendyl: You don’t know who could read them.
Shain: No one can read that.
Aerendyl: Wait, how do you know?
Shain: I don’t even know what it is.
Aerendyl: Oh, shit.
Aerendyl: Anyways, Shane, I think we should- we should- hang on.
Shain: Listen, listen, hang on, hang on.
Shain: Listen, before, before we get all excited about our trip and stuff,
Aerendyl: Well, you better hurry this up, we’re trying to leave within the hour.
Shain: I have something I want to show you.
Shain: Holy, it won’t take him more than a second.
Shain: And I, you hand, Shane’s hand,
Aerendyl: Okay.
Shain: like firmly presses against your chest, like open hand,
Aerendyl: Let’s LDR.
Shain: not like gripping, but just presses.
Shain: And essentially, because it’s a thought strand,
Shain: you understand basically the conversation I had
Shain: Basically, the conversation I had with the being or whatever he was to a somewhat degree
Shain: because one, he’s not showing you all that what he’s doing is basically showing you the
Aerendyl: Yeah, yeah, you can leave.
Shain: the TLDR, essentially, except as soon as you basically see like, the visions and you hear
Shain: that whatever was said, I’m like, so, you know what this means, I can move the box and
Shain: it could take me places someday, which means I can leave.
Aragorn: That’s some pretty cool shit.
Aerendyl: You’re excited for good reasons, but if the plan’s to get your
Aragorn: He he.
Shain: I guess at this point Shane realizes that he has his hand on your chest.
Shain: And I like fall away, I’m sorry, uh
Aerendyl: We’re going to Cirizen, right?
Aerendyl: If the plan is to go to Cirizen, I, first of all, I already have some information.
Shain: Oh definitely
Aerendyl: Um, contacted my people back home, and we’re looking into Cirizen to see if anything’s
Aerendyl: suspicious.
Shain: Yeah, did you know that could be ripped apart at any moment
Aerendyl: Um…
Aerendyl: What?
Aerendyl: Oh!
Shain: Apparently I shouldn’t be here anymore, like the universe wants me dead, everything wants
Aerendyl: Oh, if the universe wants you dead, then we should… we should go!
Shain: me dead.
Shain: No, no, no, here’s the thing, I should have been dead, months and months ago, exactly.
Aerendyl: Oh, um, but you’re not, so I should probably fix that, get you back home.
Shain: Exactly.
Shain: No, no, no, which, which would, what I mean is what if what, what, what the stairs
Aerendyl: What if you become the new Emissary of the Nine?
Aerendyl: I don’t- what?
Aerendyl: What?
Aerendyl: Zoomed in.
Shain: on the camera, um, so no, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t think you, I don’t think it’s, I have
Aerendyl: What better way to think on ideas than on the road?
Caitlin: Flux, stop dragging and get on the motherfucking horse right now.
Shain: some ideas let’s just say but yes we should get going and yeah and you know
Shain: what what if we have some mm-hmm all right I’m gonna calm down
DM: Nothing decent yet to holidize.
Shain: There’s no dragon.
Aerendyl: We’re getting there, chill the fuck out, yo.
Caitlin: I said Flux.
Shain: Huh?
Shain: I don’t have a horse yet.
Caitlin: Get on the horse.
Aragorn: Nothing beats cock like HorseGuy.
Caitlin: Right now.
Caitlin: I have a horse.
Shain: Yeah, but you’re not here yet.
Aerendyl: I didn’t- I didn’t barge into your eating human corpses session!
Shain: much.
Aragorn: That is true, that is true.
Aerendyl: Chill the fuck out, yo!
Aerendyl: Who gave you the right?
Aerendyl: Yeah.
Shain: So Arundel, I, I’m fine.
Aerendyl: Uh, old you, yes, this you, I’m a little concerned, but I’ll go with it.
Shain: Everything’s fine.
Shain: Everything’s
Shain: great.
Shain: In fact, it’s the best it’s ever been.
Shain: You trust me,
Shain: right now this is me
Aerendyl: That’s terrifying.”
Aerendyl: …
Shain: most the time but not as much as recently it’s
Shain: complicated but good news we can get on a horse and ride to a
Shain: place while i can contact my friend in a whole week
Shain: and then in the meantime i’m gonna align the stars
Shain: Anyways, let’s get going, and as he’s leaving, basically there’s going to be a little bit
Aerendyl: Uh, and Butter, if we pass by the original owners of the house, I’m gonna be like…
Shain: of a fix of the room.
Shain: Noah, I would just use fabricate to repair the damages I did.
Shain: And yeah.
Shain: I can’t keep pressing that button, it’s malfunctioning.
Aerendyl: You can have it back now.
Aerendyl: You can have it back.
Aerendyl: SHUT UP!
Aerendyl: Shut the fuck up!
Aragorn: Peace!
Aragorn: Do the thing!
DM: All right.
Aerendyl: Shut the fuck up!
Aerendyl: I’m just gonna break it, just gonna smash it in half.
Aragorn: Yeah!
Shain: It goes like, as Andrew was saying, it goes, boom.
Aragorn: I’m still here!
DM: So we’re hopping on the road, heading towards the bottom right this second with the plans
Aerendyl: What happened on the road, we’re going to George Bottom.
Shain: A banana road.
Aerendyl: And then Sun Bear next.
DM: of the condestination being sundered.
Aerendyl: Yep.
DM: All righty.
DM: like a plant to me uh with while we’re uh doing travel uh we’re gonna go ahead and end session
Aerendyl: Ear.
Caitlin: Yeah, yeah, great session for y’all.
DM: here um great session y’all are stupid uh sorry
Aerendyl: Who’s saying y’all?
Shain: Yes, sir.
Caitlin: Yeah, yeah.
Solvar: Oh, oh, the dog got out.
Shain: Hmm
Aerendyl: Oh, yeah.
Caitlin: How else do you expect me to take that bow?
Aragorn: What?
Caitlin: I’m gonna make a comment.
Aerendyl: huh huh what i’m lost did he think he didn’t get enough time as a player
Shain: Bro lost me
Aerendyl: is that what’s happening here huh
Shain: I don’t know
Shain: Bah bah bah
Solvar: They’re dealing with a thing.
Solvar: I don’t know.