2025-08-06 Transcript

Solvar: you
Caitlyn: No, I became God again.
Shain: you
Aerendyl: We’re finally back after Andrew’s hiatus, little ass bitch.
Aragorn: Kill yourself!
DM: Yeah, I know welcome back to D&D you guys
DM: Yeah, yes now do uh, hey, please don’t do we need a previously on here
Aerendyl: Okay.
Aerendyl: Yeah.
Aerendyl: Oh, yeah, I forgot we had to look at the cave.
Aragorn: We got stuck in a cave.
DM: All right, long story short you guys woke up in a cave you guys woke up the cave we’re trapped in the cave
Aragorn: We’re now at 10 o’clock.
DM: The stinking strange human off in the distance staring at you guys ominously
Solvar: Silence.
Caitlyn: you
DM: You guys said hey, how you doing?
DM: And they cast fireball on you a handful of times
DM: Blah blah blah blah blah the dragons showed up said hey, yo, what’s up?
DM: Which one of you’s you know?
DM: the the one with the air the the fun one
Aerendyl: Okay, so what’s first?
DM: wonderful Andrew stepped forward then
Aragorn: Put me on.
DM: He goes I cool.
DM: Yeah, the rest of you can go and disappeared
DM: Blah blah blah blah blah.
DM: Oh yeah, Dragon, your ring just kept whispering very, very sweet whispers of nothing and promises.
DM: Constantly and irrevocably.
Aerendyl: Are you seriously going to fuck my mom’s box?
Aragorn: Oh, and Nate fucked my mom’s box.
DM: Eventually, after you guys explored, the Queen of Levantia, for some reason, showed up.
DM: Queen Tamiya literally just popped up, pushed everybody out of her way, went up to you, Andrew, started looking through your pockets.
DM: Everybody else just said no, for some reason, and then you guys literally nuked him off the planet.
Caitlyn: Yep, I erased her.
DM: So the Queen ceased to exist.
DM: Yes, yes.
Aerendyl: Bye.
DM: So then Nate took the dress, then yoinked the box, stole the thing from inside
Caitlyn: I do want to, and I’m collapsing the chamber in the process, right?
Solvar: Thank you.
DM: the box, and it was a necklace, put it on, felt all fanciful, and then used some wonderful
DM: magic to heal Sylvars so they didn’t actually, like, die.
DM: Um.
Caitlyn: Like the magic, not just avalanche.
DM: Yes, yes.
Caitlyn: As I want to collapse the chamber, I assume the dragon is still here, or to some respect
Aerendyl: you
Caitlyn: can at least hear us.
Caitlyn: Wasn’t he, he’s still physically here, right?
DM: He’s, he’s, he’s very
DM: Pretty much there.
Caitlyn: Yeah.
Caitlyn: Then I will fully just collapse the magic, and kind of like, look up towards the dragon
Caitlyn: and go, how’s that for authority?
DM: He just kind of looks at you and says, well, you certainly did something here, I do believe.
Aragorn: You
DM: he looks up and the kind of the quote-unquote sunroof that originally had like that blue sheen
DM: just kind of withers away and just shows the sky and he says but in the process
DM: You killed the only one with information.
Caitlyn: Do you honestly think she would have let you go?
DM: Oh, she would have.
Solvar: You
DM: You have no idea how desperately she wanted you,
DM: as he turns and looks directly at you, Andrew.
DM: But now, I guess it’s you who everybody wants, as he once again turns to you, Nate.
DM: He says, regardless, now that the only source of information is dead, I’ll have to find
Caitlyn: you
DM: it myself.
Aragorn: Silence.
DM: As he turns around and begins to fly, you guys are kind of pushed back by the air, but
DM: before he leaves, he does turn and looks at you, Solvar.
Aragorn: Oh my God, it’s free reign.
DM: really wanting to leave just because they’ve been together for so long.
DM: He just kind of
DM: like moves his head a little bit and like a kind of a shot of energy kind of goes to your feet
Caitlyn: He gives either, he gives Solva the bro nod.
DM: as it takes form into what appears to be like a scepter before he flies off.
Solvar: Okay.
DM: Okay, now, whether this is just a farewell gift or, you know, something else, you’re
Aragorn: That means you upcast Fireball to 9th level at Nate.
DM: not really sure, but he did just materialize it in front of you.
Solvar: Put the dress on over- Nate, put the dress on over all of your armor.
Caitlyn: Does anybody want their dress, by the way, because I’m not going to be a paladin and
DM: Absolutely, you do.
Aerendyl: He’s not picking up a dress.
DM: I don’t think anyone wants a dress, man.
Caitlyn: stick with my AC at 12 the campaign.
Aragorn: Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me,
Caitlyn: Nobody wants it.
Aerendyl: No one wants the dress.
Caitlyn: Okay, yeah, I do that better.
Solvar: I don’t think anybody wants the dress no I don’t I don’t think anyone wants it
Aerendyl: Nobody wants the dress.
Caitlyn: I’m.
DM: The ice dress will shatter.
Aerendyl: There’s not a single person in this party that wants the dress.
Caitlyn: No.
Aerendyl: Oh!
Caitlyn: So nobody wants it going once.
Aerendyl: Shane can have it!
DM: Nobody wants the dress.
Aerendyl: Shane takes claim!
Solvar: yeah Shane would want it
DM: You’re going…
Aragorn: You took my mom’s box, I take your dignity.
Aragorn: Who said I wouldn’t be wearing armor?
DM: I don’t think you want the dress.
DM: You can’t wear armor with the dress, chief.
Caitlyn: We’re gonna we’re gonna step into a
Solvar: Oh, wait, are you not getting naked in front of everybody?
Caitlyn: You’re gonna step into that little side chamber again and kind of switch back into my armor and then just kind of like come out and approach Andrew.
DM: You
Aerendyl: Fuck, are you even one of the boys?
Aragorn: THERE ARE HIS TITS, FACT.
DM: What
Solvar: Yeah, I’m asking for you to get naked in front of me again.
DM: Luckily, you wouldn’t know.
Aerendyl: Hubba hubba.
Caitlyn: I got naked in front of you last session, if I remember.
Caitlyn: You already see me naked.
Aragorn: But are the tits- are the tits boingin’ though?
Caitlyn: Not for the rest of the party.
Aerendyl: My wee wee.
Solvar: Alright, I’m gonna sneak a peek at you, Nate, then.
Caitlyn: All right, okay, I’m not going to hide.
DM: Oh my gosh.
Aragorn: NOOOOO!
Solvar: I will sneak up and get you.
DM: All right, but yeah.
DM: So, you guys are still in the large cave.
Aragorn: Put me on.
DM: There is an exit that you know exists.
Aerendyl: I’m just another voice to add to my head, and this will make a fine addition to my collection!
DM: Dragon, the ring has kind of stopped talking to you ever since the dragon flew away.
Aragorn: Yes, great.
DM: But you can still feel its presence, for the lack of a better word, just in the back of
Aragorn: That was dark.
DM: your head.
DM: kind of sitting there waiting.
DM: Another one to add to the collection.
Aragorn: The inside-out emotions with the pulls of voices in my head.
Aerendyl: Um, can I, I’m still trying that door by the way.
Caitlyn: What’s wrong?
DM: The door, which door?
Aerendyl: The door that had like the, or like the, the, like the exit that had like the, the sheen
DM: Yeah, so that was part of the field that disappeared whenever Nate did the wonderful magic stuff.
Aerendyl: on it.
Solvar: you
Aerendyl: The glowing wall.
Aerendyl: Oh.
DM: So like it’s just an open archway now.
DM: Yes, Nate.
Aerendyl: I don’t know.
Caitlyn: I want to approach Sylvar after the kind of, like, dragon incident, um, and then I want
Aragorn: You
Caitlyn: to approach them in kind of, like, very similar to- not dissimilar to what I did before, like,
Caitlyn: like I’m approaching a wild animal a little bit, and kind of just like, I understand what
DM: you
Caitlyn: has happened here, I understand your little- at least from what I can gather that you’ve
Caitlyn: been here with your friend for quite some time.
Caitlyn: Obviously he has left you this
Caitlyn: sort of gift that I’ll allow you to look into, but for the time being would you
Caitlyn: like to accompany us and try and find some sort of companionship, whereas I
Caitlyn: don’t want you to feel left alone here.
DM: Um, I will say, um, so far for the first time in a very long time, you actually finally
Aerendyl: you
Solvar: I suppose you’re as good a companion as any.
Caitlyn: Yeah, you know what, Farron?
Solvar: What do I have to lose at this point?
Aragorn: Nothing!
Aragorn: Between us!
Solvar: So I could go for another one of those sewer rats, is what I’m hearing.
DM: feel hungry.
DM: Uh, ever since you kind of entered this cave, I mean, you ate because eating is a normal
DM: to do, but she never really felt hungry.
DM: But now that the field is gone, you now actually
Caitlyn: You
Caitlyn: You, you look like, you kind of look like, you know,
DM: feel a desire to eat.
Aragorn: Heh.
DM: Yes, you definitely could.
Aragorn: Here it is.
Aragorn: I’m a walk I’m a walk up to you you look good quite quite starved um I’m a pull
DM: I’m dead, Robin.
Solvar: Hell yeah.
Aragorn: I’m totally dead rabbit.
Aragorn: Would you care?
Aragorn: Would you-
Solvar: I mean, do you?
Aragorn: I have a rabbit.
Solvar: Do you actually?
Aragorn: I have ten of them.
Aerendyl: There’s a story behind those rabbits.
Caitlyn: Thank you.
Aragorn: …
Caitlyn: Okay.
Caitlyn: You should know.
Solvar: I mean, I’ll happily eat it.
Caitlyn: Hang on.
Caitlyn: These, these, there’s an old man.
DM: Wait a minute, wait a minute, is this just the rabbits you bought or is this the dead
Solvar: I mean, like, I’d probably slate it.
DM: rabbit that you put on the thing?
Aragorn: No, this is-
Caitlyn: Glow.
Caitlyn: There is no meat left on this bone.
DM: Oh
Aragorn: there’s still some you could still eat it bone marrow is actually quite tasty
Caitlyn: This thing’s been in this bag for like six months, if not longer.
Aerendyl: He threw it at prostitutes.
Solvar: I think, I think in my- I mean, he’d probably cry, at least.
Aragorn: and filling.
Caitlyn: How long ago did we put?
DM: My gosh guys
Aragorn: Not on the bone.
DM: It’s almost a whole literal year ago.
Solvar: Silence.
DM: Oh
DM: If that happened
DM: Um
Aerendyl: What since the rat incident?
DM: The rabbit incident, yeah.
Aerendyl: Or the bunny incident?
Aerendyl: Oh, fuck.
Caitlyn: How long ago did me and Andrew put the horse in Dweckens room?
DM: Oh gosh, I don’t even want to know.
Aerendyl: That was around the same time.
DM: It’s probably around the same time.
Aragorn: Oh my god, that was so much fun.
Aerendyl: Yeah, fuck you too.
Aragorn: I can’t kill yourself.
DM: Uh, but yeah, that was
DM: That was literally forever ago.
DM: Um
DM: that was then and we are now at remember okay yeah so that was one two three four
Solvar: Yeah, I was like, I’d probably sleet it, that’s not really that abnormal to what I’ve been
Aerendyl: You
DM: five months ago those um those bunny rabbits 1,000% are completely rotting
Caitlyn: I would like to, if he pulls all of this out, I want to take a couple of minutes to virtually
Aragorn: I
DM: which is not abnormal for you so far, so.
Aragorn: Mean it’s it’s it’s it’s so I also have multi bread.
Aerendyl: Yeah
Solvar: eating, so.
Aragorn: It’s kind of your opinion
Solvar: Yeah.
Aerendyl: you
Caitlyn: cast to purify food and drink.
Aragorn: That’s a good thing
Solvar: I feel like I wouldn’t- I feel like if you did that, I wouldn’t like
Caitlyn: It’s still going to taste like shit.
Solvar: it, because I’m so used to the taste of, like, disgusting, rotted bullshit.
Aragorn: No, no, trust me, trust me, trust me, trust me, trust me, trust me, trust me, trust me,
Caitlyn: No, no, no, it’s
Caitlyn: still going to taste like shit.
Solvar: Okay.
DM: I
Caitlyn: It’s just not going to poison you or kill you.
Solvar: I don’t
Solvar: I don’t know if it would genuinely.
Solvar: I don’t know if it would at this point.
Solvar: I’m like looking back at my lore.
Aragorn: trust me, trust me, trust me, trust me, trust me, trust me, trust me, trust me, trust me,
Caitlyn: All right.
Caitlyn: I’m gonna, I’m gonna use my, I’m gonna use, because I have access to the entire Paladin
DM: You just you just take the rabbit just use fire bolt on it a couple times like yeah, it’s cooked enough.
Aragorn: trust me, trust me, trust me, trust me, trust me, trust me, trust me, trust me, trust me, trust
DM: I don’t
Solvar: Yeah
Aragorn: They’re so cook the germs off it
Caitlyn: spell list, I’m gonna burn a second level spell and cast Find Vehicle to summon an M4A1
DM: Know you ain’t
Aragorn: I’m sorry
DM: No, no, I don’t care what you’re trying to do no
Caitlyn: Abrams.
Caitlyn: Find Vehicle.
Caitlyn: Hang on, give me a moment.
Aragorn: Nigga huh
Aragorn: Fine vehicle.
Caitlyn: No, you, oh, oh, oh, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non-military land vehicle.
Aragorn: F-16 Raptor.
Aerendyl: Okay, so I’m on Tesla, but it’s good for the environment.
Caitlyn: I’m sorry, I can’t summon a tank.
DM: Okay, yeah, there we go there we go I summoned the Ford f-150
Caitlyn: I can summon instead a Ford Shelby, no, I’m summoning a Ford Shelby.
DM: No, no, you’re right.
Caitlyn: Summoning a Shelby Mustang, that’s what we’re summoning.
DM: No forward shall we summon in this campaign.
Caitlyn: All right fine, I’ll summon if I get a little bit of course that not summoning a Tesla
DM: Are you going to charge for that one, man?
Aragorn: It’s Mem from Ochinoco.
Aerendyl: Oh, Andrew from Oshinoku.
DM: Just charge it and just cast lightning.
DM: Excuse me, is that?
DM: Oh, okay, well, I mean, with the amount of pixels on my screen, I couldn’t really tell.
Aragorn: Yeah, because of the light beaming on her face.
DM: That literally made it worse.
Caitlyn: You’re a goon cave now, huh?
Solvar: Oh, I can’t DM me that.
DM: For the record, I’m just gonna send a picture to you, just so that way you know what I’m
Aragorn: Will she fall?
Aerendyl: We offered you a good camera, to be fair.
Aragorn: No.
Aragorn: Okay, cool.
Aragorn: Yeah.
DM: looking at after all of like the um after the like the network because
Aragorn: I’ll put it as my profile picture, don’t show them.
DM: i can’t see nothing man
DM: That’s a profile picture.
Caitlyn: Don’t DM me that, Glo!
Caitlyn: Don’t!
Caitlyn: No!
Solvar: Why can’t I DM you that?
Caitlyn: Can I get the- can I get the- can I get- can I get the drop as well, Buttercup?
Caitlyn: Can I get the image as well?
Aerendyl: Vram.
Aragorn: I’ll put it as my profile picture.
Aragorn: Give me a second, let me save it.
Aerendyl: Hatsune Miku.
Aragorn: We need a big reveal.
Aragorn: Also, the English dub voice actor is,
Aragorn: what’s the chick’s name with the blue hair again?
Caitlyn: Best, best girl.
Aragorn: What was her name?
Caitlyn: Best girl.
Caitlyn: I don’t remember her name.
Solvar: Okay.
Caitlyn: It’s not.
Solvar: That’s.
Aerendyl: Vram or wrong.
Aragorn: Anyway.
Aragorn: It is hilariously- is it Kané?
Caitlyn: I should know this.
Aragorn: No, Kané’s the other chick.
Aragorn: Kané’s, uh, no, Kizan.
DM: Oh gosh.
Aragorn: It’s a kane, and then kane is the other one, right?
DM: Alrighty, you finish your googling while we get back to the game.
Aerendyl: I’m trying to leave, by the way.
DM: So we have, so we have Nate trying desperately to purify.
Caitlyn: It’s it, Andrew.
Caitlyn: It’s Akane.
Solvar: I just can’t hear anything.
Caitlyn: That’s her name.
Caitlyn: Hang on.
Caitlyn: No, it’s Kana.
DM: I’m very proud of you.
Aragorn: Kana and Akane.
Caitlyn: Andrew, Andrew, it’s Kana.
Aerendyl: I’m trying to see how the exit looks.
Caitlyn: It’s Kana and Akane.
Caitlyn: Anyway, Shelby Mustang, Dodge Charger, Butter, it says right here I can cast it, it’s on
Aragorn: Okay.
Aragorn: Anyways, Butter, I get to meet the English dub voice actor of Akane.
Aerendyl: you
Aragorn: Anyways.
DM: No, you’re not doing that.
Solvar: Some of the EV Dodge Charger, yes, the EV Dodge Charger.
Aragorn: Ford EV.
DM: The Paladin Spell List says you can summon a land vehicle.
Aragorn: Yeah, if it’s ugly enough…
Caitlyn: the pallet and smellless.
DM: Not a land vehicle from our world.
Caitlyn: You have a supernatural bond with a conjured vehicle.
DM: If you can-
DM: Mm-hmm.
Caitlyn: The physical characteristics of the vehicle reflect its origin to some degree.
Aragorn: But in the description it says an all jet black Humvee with a turret on the front.
Caitlyn: So for example, a fiendish SUV might be jet black in color with tinted windows and a sinister
Caitlyn: looking front grill.
Caitlyn: That’s the description for it.
DM: No.
DM: No!
DM: There’s no- there’s no reason why you would be able to know of an SUV, let alone
DM: be able to conjure one.
Caitlyn: The spell says I can!
DM: I don’t care!
Solvar: The spell says I can do it.
DM: This house of teleport exists, and I said no.
Caitlyn: No he’s actually, no, Andrew’s actually right, I’m gonna cast a, I’m gonna summon a super
Aragorn: But let it be one of the road-legal ones, not the military ones, so it’s the really
Caitlyn: black Humvee and we all we all die of carbon monoxide poisoning as I flood the
DM: You guys…
Aragorn: shiny- shiny shit, Jeff.
DM: It’s a pedestrian.
DM: You can just start driving around in supercars
Caitlyn: No, actually, that’s right, you know what I’m- oh, I know what I’m- oh my god, what’s
Solvar: Is there a spell to let you do that?
Aragorn: vehicle.
Aragorn: MONSTROUS CRAB.
Caitlyn: it?
Caitlyn: Gravedigger.
Caitlyn: It’s a spell on the paladin spell list that I would like to cast, please.
DM: Oh, this is why we get nowhere Derek D&D I
DM: I don’t care!
DM: Even if it said on the pallet and spell list that you had the power to turn
DM: into God, you don’t get to actually do it.
Aragorn: You know what, you know what, you know what, let’s let, let, I think we should let best
Caitlyn: See, Butter, you say that, Butter?
Solvar: you
Aragorn: boy decide.
Caitlyn: I’ve done that several times in this campaign.
Aragorn: We should let best boy decide, Dwagon, what vehicle does Nate get with find vehicle?
Caitlyn: I think we should.
Aerendyl: If I played D&D, he would find a horse, or a carriage, or a cart, or…
Aragorn: You get to choose.
Caitlyn: That’s what this is.
Aragorn: This is, this is, fuck.
DM: No, this isn’t D&D, this is arguing about a spell that I’ve already said you don’t get to use.
Aragorn: I want a carriage, no horns.
Aerendyl: If it’s find vehicle, he could find a fuckin’ giant turtle.
Solvar: Great, thanks campaign, glad I could be here.
Aragorn: Or a giant crab for the funnies.
DM: You could find a turtle.
Caitlyn: You’re right.
DM: Alright, as you guys are standing there, and this stinkin’ gigantic ship begins to form
Aragorn: Please.
Aerendyl: I found a giant turtle.
Caitlyn: I summoned the Titanic.
Caitlyn: No.
DM: in midair, you realize that it’s way too large, slams into the sides of the cavern, falls
DM: on you, and you all die.
DM: So good campaign, guys.
Aerendyl: Oh, okay.
Caitlyn: Okay.
Caitlyn: Okay, fine, fine.
Caitlyn: I’ll actually, I’ll use Flying Steed and I’ll summon a, like, my
DM: Dragon, as you exit, because you’re the only one actually exiting, you find that basically
Aerendyl: Yeah.
Caitlyn: eight-legged warhorse I did last time.
Caitlyn: So, so far it gets on the web, you two find your
Caitlyn: own way home, bitches.
Aerendyl: Thanks.
Aerendyl: Bye.
DM: where you are is in a very, like, it’s not really a forest, but it’s not plains either.
Solvar: You
DM: It’s a very sparsely populated forest.
DM: There’s plenty of space between the trees, there’s great visibility, sunlight shines
DM: through completely fine.
Aerendyl: Hmm.
DM: Like you could probably fit carriages down this, in between the trees.
DM: It’s a very peaceful environment, actually.
Caitlyn: Your compass.
DM: But you have no idea where you are, or where you’re going.
Aragorn: Silence.
Aerendyl: Does my compass do anything to find my way back home?
DM: Your compass.
DM: I assume you’re referring to your wonderful object.
Aerendyl: My compass.
Aerendyl: The one I crafted.
DM: Yes, yes, yes.
Aerendyl: Yeah.
DM: The Aetheric Navigator, my friend.
Aerendyl: The compass.
Aerendyl: Yes, the compass.
Caitlyn: I’m pissed.
DM: Yeah, you can do a Arcana check.
DM: All right.
Aerendyl: A conda check.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Aerendyl: Uh, Dirty 20?
Aragorn: Caldera.
DM: You would know that your location is in caldera somewhere.
Caitlyn: Can you do that one more time, Butter?
Aerendyl: No!
Aerendyl: Even the DMV had to fucking cut it out!
Aerendyl: Sorry.
Aerendyl: Yeah.
DM: pretty confident that you’re towards the, um, the, what?
Aragorn: Why are we getting cold air again?
Aerendyl: I don’t have even a DMV on the phone to call to her!
Caitlyn: It’s in Caldera somewhere!
Caitlyn: It’s stuck in the vines!
Caitlyn: Let me out!
DM: It’s, yeah, you’re pretty sure
Caitlyn: Let me out!
DM: you’re on like the western side of Kuldera, so on the map over here-ish.
Aerendyl: Oh, no!
DM: Uh, because of
DM: The dragon’s thing can kidnap you guys, yeah, around there, from what you can tell.
Aragorn: Uh-oh.
Caitlyn: Brian, why’d you do that?
Aerendyl: Um…
Aerendyl: So, we’re like deep in here.
Aerendyl: I know that for a fact that I’m somewhere around this area.
Caitlyn: Oh, it’s just wrong, is what he’s saying.
DM: That is what your compass tells you, your theoric navigator.
Aerendyl: If I’ve ever seen a map, and…
DM: Now keep in mind that it is a, what’s the word I’m looking for, work in progress.
Aerendyl: True.
DM: So you’re about as confident as you can be.
Aragorn: stop stop okay I guarantee you it’s a it’s an actual thing it’s an actual
Aerendyl: From my knowledge of maps, and what the compass is telling me, where- where would the direction
Solvar: what are you eating what are you eating
Caitlyn: It was the compass.
Aerendyl: of the next- of like a town would be, or like a village?
DM: From what you would.
Aerendyl: Is it Pringles?
Aerendyl: Oh, I see.
Solvar: What do you get so many?
Aragorn: thing of candied green beans, raw.
DM: Oh my gosh, Dragon, first of all, I just want to let you know, uh, anyways, um, whoa, wait,
Aerendyl: Oh, it’s paired.
Aerendyl: Don’t dis on pairs!
Solvar: What is that?
Caitlyn: And Dwagan, you know, this shit’s so fucking good.
Aragorn: PEARS?
Aragorn: !
Aragorn: Brother, go to the-
Aragorn: No!
Aragorn: But he can go to the produce section and get a whole-ass pear for like 50 cents
Aerendyl: The juice is so good, though.
DM: That’s happening?
Solvar: Silence.
Aragorn: You can make juice with a blender!
Aerendyl: No, not that shit.
Aerendyl: That is authentically made from a factory.
Aerendyl: Oh, 100%.
Aragorn: Yeah
Caitlyn: What you guys are going to watch me do is you’re going to watch me eat the pears out
DM: I love my taste of microplastics and preservatives.
Aerendyl: 100%.
Aragorn: Yeah, anyways DnD
DM: Actually, I’m going to do this wonderful thing called, ah, there we go, that’s a good option.
Caitlyn: of this and then dump a fireball in it.
Caitlyn: That’s what you’re going to watch happen.
Aragorn: D&D, ah!
DM: All right.
DM: So, yes, Dragon, given your basic understanding of Koldera’s landscape, because it’s not like
Aerendyl: I would know the direction.
Aerendyl: This wasn’t like a, this wasn’t on the list to go to.
DM: this was really a, yeah, you would know very, very, you know, very strongly that if you
Caitlyn: You
Aerendyl: But I definitely, I would say on our boat ride here, I would have looked at the map.
DM: just head to the east, you will almost certainly run into civilization, regardless of where
Aragorn: Silence.
DM: you are in Caldera, if there’s forests.
Aerendyl: I look behind me as anyone else got now are they still like fucking around
DM: you are on Kuldera you know that either the east has civilization or you’re
DM: gonna run into the ocean in which case you just turn around.
Caitlyn: I’m getting a horse.
DM: So you know you’re
DM: a pretty smart feller.
DM: As you look behind you you see Sovar kind of crouched over just like shooting
Aragorn: You
DM: a dead rabbit that’s kind of completely moldy with little bits of fireballs
DM: before taking a bite.
DM: You see a wonderful Caitlyn arguing with her magic before finally summoning
DM: a horse, a war horse.
DM: And you see Andrew just sitting to the side trying not to be involved
DM: but very interested in probably the eating of the disgusting rabbit.
Aragorn: Yeah, pretty much.
Aerendyl: I’m just gonna start walkin’ east, I’m just gonna start walkin’ east, as soon as I see
DM: You’re just gonna leave?
Aragorn: Alright boys, I’m going east, you go west, we’ll meet up somewhere.
DM: Nope.
Aerendyl: the fireball on the deadround, I’m goin’ east, I’m goin’ east before I witness that shit.
DM: Alrighty.
DM: All right.
Solvar: I’m sorry, I haven’t eaten in years.
DM: Alrighty, uh, alright.
Caitlyn: I just hopped on the web, got my little cell phone, and I was told so far to hop on the
Aragorn: I’ll walk, I’ll walk, I’ll walk with Dwagon, I’ll walk with Dwagon.
Aerendyl: I’m assuming Shane’s following me too.
DM: Would Caitlyn just leave and just let Solmar figure it out?
Caitlyn: It’s like a horse!
Aragorn: Wow!
DM: Solmar
DM: and decided to try to eat some rabbits.
Solvar: My apologies.
Aragorn: I gave you a dead rabbit and some moldy bread.
Aragorn: You’re fine.
Aragorn: Boy dinner, more like homeless man dinner.
DM: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Aerendyl: Boy dinner.
Solvar: Pointed.
Caitlyn: We’re not going to get food from this cave unless, like, not any sustainable food.
Aragorn: Oh no, trust me, the super rats aren’t good enough.
Aerendyl: Um, hey, Bubdr, whilst I’m, uh, I’m walking east, Shane will 100% be, like, on me.
Caitlyn: We need to get to
DM: Yeah.
Caitlyn: Thank you.
DM: Yeah, she’s just kind of with you, yeah.
Solvar: Okay.
Aerendyl: He’ll be- he’ll be riding me, bro.
Aerendyl: Yeah.
Aerendyl: He’s with me.
Aragorn: Walking while walking.
Aerendyl: Um, as we’re walking, we’d probably be talking about, you know, Shane and Arendelle stuff.
DM: I guess that, yep, yep.
DM: Pretty shortly though, thanks to a war horse, Sylvar and Caitlyn do kind of catch up.
Aerendyl: Important stuff, too.
Aragorn: Gay romance.
Caitlyn: What do I have to do to, what do I have to roll successfully to start to hem the dress
DM: Oh, the moment you try to do anything to it, you’re probably going to completely destroy
Caitlyn: to like sew it?
Aerendyl: Take it to a goodwill.
Caitlyn: Or do I know that like if I start sewing this I’m going to fuck up the magic in it?
DM: it.
DM: It is an extremely delicate ice dress.
Caitlyn: Is there a chance I can not?
Caitlyn: Is there a chance I can do something to it to not fuck it up?
DM: From what you can tell, from all of your years of experience and magic and clothes, you are
DM: 940% positive that any type of modifications that you try to make to the dress will either
Aragorn: that
Aerendyl: It actually is a real number.
DM: cause it to shatter, break, or lose magic.
DM: Or all of the above.
Caitlyn: It probably will.
DM: Yes.
Caitlyn: Probably.
DM: 940% chance.
Caitlyn: That’s not a real number.
DM: is because we’re dealing with magic.
Caitlyn: I want to hem it into a robe though.
DM: You’re not going to be able to do that.
Aerendyl: Just wear it like a scarf as it is.
Aragorn: You’re Elsa, the scarf lady.
Caitlyn: I’m not wearing this dress.
DM: Now I will say the abilities to kind of, you could just kind of like
DM: hope it really really looks like a certain thing and it’s a magic piece of clothing
Caitlyn: Okay, so I’ve taken the dress off, I’m holding the dress in my bag, I’m gonna just keep wearing
DM: that will almost certainly reshape itself.
DM: Most badger clothing will do that.
Aerendyl: Butter, can you roll a d20 for us?
Aragorn: Thank you.
Caitlyn: the, like, emulant thing.
DM: Okay.
DM: Roger, Roger.
DM: All right.
DM: So I guess you guys start traveling.
DM: Anybody want to roll a d20 for me?
Caitlyn: We have to…
DM: Oh, yeah, sure.
DM: I got you.
Caitlyn: Eight.
Aerendyl: And by roll a d20, I mean, scratch it.
DM: Eight?
DM: Yeah, I’m scratching.
DM: Hang on.
DM: Alright, up to you guys.
Aerendyl: What does the card say?
DM: You can either take an eight,
Aerendyl: I’m okay with the 8, I’m okay with the 8.
Aragorn: You
Caitlyn: A, where did you guys get that from?
DM: or a two.
DM: Alright, it’s up to you guys.
DM: Eight?
DM: Alright.
DM: Let me look at my table real quick.
DM: Okay, hang on.
Aerendyl: That one card was 28 cents that you just ripped.
DM: You know it.
DM: All right.
Aerendyl: We went to a card shop that had, like, D&D shit, and they just had them there.
Caitlyn: We can attack by wolves.
DM: A crisp eight.
Aerendyl: I’ll be on a tree keeping watch.
DM: All righty.
Solvar: you
DM: As you guys are traveling,
DM: Pretty much nothing seems to happen.
DM: Eventually night begins to approach,
DM: the sun begins to set.
DM: I presume we have Shane make a tiny hat
DM: and you guys just pop in there.
Aragorn: Street hugger.
DM: Of course, of course.
Aerendyl: As I always do.
Aerendyl: Um, the leg that I’m currently using is part of my- it was my old one, right?
DM: Bazinga, long rest.
DM: It is now the next day.
DM: Unless you guys wanted to do anything
Solvar: Thank you.
DM: during the long rest cycle?
Caitlyn: So, I’m going to go ahead and get started.
Aragorn: you
Aerendyl: Um, how long would you say I was using my new leg for?
DM: Correct.
Aerendyl: Before my long rest takes place, I would like to start working on a new blueprint for my
Solvar: Silence.
DM: Since you made your new lag before coming to,
DM: at least three, four months, probably closer to four.
DM: Closer to four.
Aerendyl: new leg.
DM: Mm-hmm.
Aerendyl: And I want to see if I can make it better.
Aerendyl: Maybe add some extra compartments to it, to hide some shit if I ever get captured again.
DM: All right.
DM: As you are, as you’re doing that,
Aerendyl: And if possible.
DM: just real quick, as you’re brainstorming the idea
Aerendyl: Yeah.
Aerendyl: Oh no.
DM: Or, you know, oh, what to do if you’re captured?
DM: The ring just kind of pops up in the back of your head.
Aerendyl: I’m just, I’m just gonna say, you’re not ready yet.
Aragorn: Keep warm with it.
DM: I’m a good backup plan.
DM: Put me in, coach.
Aerendyl: Stay on the bench.
Aerendyl: Keep warming it.
DM: Yet.
Aerendyl: I’m just gonna be like, this waterboy doesn’t understand.
Aragorn: Oh
Caitlyn: you
Aerendyl: I’m gonna put it on my metal hand and detach my finger.
Aragorn: You should edge the ring like almost put it around your finger, but
Solvar: You
Aerendyl: I also want to see if I can make my knee flamethrower better, and see if I can- yeah, the new one!
DM: Oh, okay.
Aerendyl: I’m gonna build another one!
Aerendyl: Yeah, so I wanna make a new blueprint, I don’t care how long it takes, because we’re gonna
DM: Okay.
DM: You’re just talking about generalized plans.
Aerendyl: be traveling for a while, so I was kinda hoping to perfect it over travel.
Aerendyl: Since I used that new leg for so long, I wanna try and maybe fix some of the kinks.
Aerendyl: I want to add a better system for my knee flamethrower, and I want to see if I can replicate the fireball idea from Shane, with his help or without.
Aragorn: Hey, dragon, want to make an arm crossbow or attempt to make one?
Caitlyn: Dwagan, I will also remind you, you have Ian Laird’s bow.
DM: Okay.
Aerendyl: Yes, Andrew.
Aerendyl: Do I want to make an arm crossbow?
Aragorn: I have a bow that I don’t use that has a material to make a bow for your arm.
DM: Now this is something that I should mention, Dragon, you do also need to make an arm.
Aragorn: Ha, you have two bows.
Aerendyl: Why do I need my- My arm wasn’t touched!
DM: Arm was ripped off.
Aerendyl: My arm wasn’t touched!
Aerendyl: You said it in person, only my leg.
DM: Arm and leg.
Aerendyl: You said only my leg!
Aerendyl: I double-checked with you!
Aerendyl: It was in person, and I go, wait…
Aerendyl: He got me by my leg, right?
Aerendyl: Not my arm.
Aerendyl: And you said, yeah, it was only your leg.
Aerendyl: How else was I able to put on my new leg?
Aerendyl: Yeah, the reason why I asked that was because I recently added a grappling hook to my arm
DM: Nope, you are right.
DM: My I just am very bad at keeping notes.
DM: But.
Aerendyl: and I didn’t want that shit to be gone.
DM: Yep, yep, you’re right, you’re right, you’re right.
DM: Sorry, you’re right.
Aerendyl: Thank the lord I know what I’m doing.
DM: You’re right.
DM: You’re very right.
Aerendyl: Um, although, I can also look into upgrading my arm later on, but um, yeah, I just want
DM: I’m very wrong.
DM: As a general, just general plans, you’re not really at the point of making blueprints yet.
Aerendyl: Gonna make it better, easier to walk, fix out some of the kinks, maybe add some more
Aragorn: Silence.
Aerendyl: components, uh, hidden knife compartment would be fucking cool.
Aerendyl: Well, I’ve already made blueprints for my leg before, so I’d just be changing those.
DM: You don’t really need to make an arcana check for anything yet, because you’re more in the
DM: brainstorming stage as kind of the first first step.
Caitlyn: You
DM: Yes, which is why you don’t need to make in a make an arcana check for this
Aerendyl: But that’s it for me.
DM: because you’re building you’re basically basically off the
DM: previous gen.
DM: Now next time you you want to be in the
DM: process you’re going to need an arcana check though.
DM: But yeah.
DM: Okay, does anybody else want to do anything
DM: uh, before, during, or after the long rest.
Aragorn: Nate, do you actually have FindVehicle?
Caitlyn: It’s a UA spell, I doubt, but like, I was like, I can, yeah, if butter allows it, but
DM: Ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba.
DM: Okie-dokie.
DM: For the record, you guys are moving at a somewhat slow race, uh, rate, because, uh,
Aerendyl: You
DM: you only have one warhorse and no cart or anything else, so this is all on foot.
DM: but
DM: um
Aragorn: Oh.
Aragorn: I
Caitlyn: like it also really depends on what we’re gonna do.
Aragorn: Was like you could you could just spawn in a carriage and we could use your warhorse.
Solvar: Bye-bye.
Aragorn: That’s like a bully horse
Aerendyl: Oh, yes.
Aragorn: I was like, it’s kind of up to butter, but it wouldn’t be a bad idea.
Aragorn: So at least speed things up
DM: Yes, as long as it’s not a stinkin’ Ford F-150 SUV.
Aragorn: Give me a Dodge Ram, a Ford F-150 SUV, ah yes butter, that is a car, that is a car.
Caitlyn: Sure, I mean I’m just a pain in the ass to get it back, but how do I give other players
DM: I meant Ford slash SUV.
DM: Okay, so yes, you can, you can do that.
Aragorn: core.
Aragorn: Nate, are you okay with casting find vehicle?
Caitlyn: shit again or do the trade bullshit.
DM: Well, you see, things have changed recently, so I don’t even know if it’s a thing that
DM: happens anymore.
Aerendyl: You you move that I missed
DM: Yeah, that’s not even a thing that can happen anymore.
Caitlyn: Can you put two healing- can you put- can you put two healing potions in Glow’s inventory?
Solvar: Nate, that is all yours for you to have.
DM: Absolutely.
Caitlyn: I don’t want to remove them from my character list.
Aerendyl: Bro, I miss receiving fuckin’ Fluxy’s box.
DM: I, I, I, I will do better.
Caitlyn: Thank you for my character shit
Aragorn: Silence.
Aerendyl: Bro, he would send me just randomly, he’ll just send me random items called Shane’s box.
Solvar: Just so you know.
Solvar: I got that just for you.
Caitlyn: Oh
Caitlyn: What?
Aerendyl: And it’s been it’s been it’s been it’s been it’s
DM: I’m sure he would.
Caitlyn: Delicious.
DM: Oh yeah, it also lets you cast some wonderful spells.
Caitlyn: It’s delicious.
DM: All right, so yes, you guys take a wonderful long rest.
DM: You wake up, get back on the road.
DM: eventually about six hours in.
Aragorn: Do we have access to them yet?
DM: You guys finally hit what you’re pretty sure is a
DM: road.
DM: It seems to go to both the north and the south.
Caitlyn: Oh my god, let’s pull up.
DM: So it’s just north-south
DM: road which which way you guys gonna go now if you guys are in cold era then
Solvar: What’s the worst that could happen?
Aragorn: Mm-hmm.
DM: going to the north goes to Avantia which is the nation of the Queen you just
DM: killed just that I mentioned probably not very safe place to go at the moment
Caitlyn: pull up.
DM: Says the guy with the dress of the queen.
Caitlyn: They don’t know we killed her.
Caitlyn: I’m not layering it.
Solvar: We just have it.
Caitlyn: Okay, what are they gonna
Caitlyn: do?
DM: Yes.
Caitlyn: They’re gonna stop me?
Aerendyl: Can I try the compass one more time?
Aragorn: What’s up?
Caitlyn: Oh.
Caitlyn: We’ll go back to Andrew sometime.
DM: What is your plan for the compass?
Caitlyn: The compass.
Aerendyl: My plan for the compass is trying to figure out which direction I need to go in to get
DM: Um, pretty much the only places that you are, the only place that you’re really, uh, familiar
Aerendyl: to…
Solvar: Silence.
Aerendyl: Is there, like, a big place in Koldera that’s, like, very popular that even I would know?
Caitlyn: You
Aragorn: you
Aerendyl: Like a tourist attraction?
DM: with is the Grand Coliseum that they have and you do know kind of where that
DM: would be.
DM: Just the only thing that you know is that it’s in Caldera normally
Solvar: Bye.
DM: towards the western side and it’s where all of the big fun stuff happens.
DM: Of
DM: Of course, Caldera being a very, not really isolationist,
DM: but more non-standard kind of nation,
DM: they don’t really have like trade or anything.
Solvar: You
DM: So most people don’t really
DM: even give Caldera a second thought.
Aerendyl: Okay, so if I try to use my compass to find out the location of the colon scene, is that
Caitlyn: .
Aragorn: You
Aerendyl: possible?
Aerendyl: I don’t know how that works.
DM: You could use it to try to get a general just or like a direction to go in to get to the Coliseum.
DM: You could do that.
DM: Yes.
Aerendyl: Then I’m going to try that, because if I know where it’s located on the map, if the compass
Aerendyl: This points in a certain direction, maybe I’ll know where to go from there.
DM: OK.
DM: Just make a little arcana check for you, please.
Aerendyl: That is a 19.
DM: All righty, um, oh 24, um, then you are very confident that you would need to head in
Aerendyl: 24, actually.
Aerendyl: Southeast, okay.
DM: You need to help head southeast
Solvar: you
Aerendyl: And the roads go what, north and south?
DM: Yeah, well it’s just a it’s a road that goes from the north to the south or south to the north
DM: You basically stumbled upon a road while you were exiting the forest.
Aragorn: We do need
Aerendyl: Yeah, but, I mean, that’s the goal, but for now we actually gotta get to civilization,
Aragorn: We do need to go back to my kingdom for sure not like right now, but that’s like main point of interest
Aragorn: Yeah
Aragorn: We should
Aerendyl: and the closest thing I know is that southeast.
Aragorn: We should probably skip Levantia
Aragorn: Not really
Aerendyl: It’s kinda hard to skip, Levant.
Aerendyl: I mean, we can go on the outskirts to Calmcrest.
DM: you
Aerendyl: Just, I think we don’t want to go here.
Aerendyl: Because that’s the actual kingdom.
Aerendyl: But like, if we- This is the Coliseum.
Aerendyl: If I get to the Coliseum, we could easily get to Calmcrest, or just pass through Everchill, the forest, and get back to Uticar.
Caitlyn: Here’s here’s the key is the kicker with with LaVon Tia
Solvar: Thank you.
Caitlyn: obviously, I know the whole we kill the green danger, but also like
Caitlyn: Uh, okay, two big, very important things.
Aerendyl: you
Caitlyn: Number one, as a kingdom, we can trade, rest, relax, get actual food, like whatever.
Caitlyn: Number two, if we can find somebody in a position of power, we can try and find out what happened
Caitlyn: to Lumen.
Caitlyn: And that is probably the best we’re going to get besides actually going back to Lumen
Caitlyn: and Lumen knows both of you.
Aragorn: All right.
Caitlyn: At least what recognizes here?
Caitlyn: I’m just gonna bury the damn what’s it called my back holding my damn the back of them
DM: Now, that is hypothetically true, except for one small problem.
DM: You have Mr. Aragorn Mortensen, and he is wanted by the Ice Legion, which made it kind
DM: of pretty heavily implied that they’re from Levantia.
Aerendyl: Yeah
DM: So just something to keep in mind.
Aragorn: Oh, hey, Flux.
Caitlyn: I think at minimum, I think at minimum going through Snowvale is a good idea.
DM: I’m not trying to influence your decisions, you guys do whatever you darn please, but
DM: it is something to think about.
DM: Even if you hide the ice dress, and assuming there’s no way to know where it is.
Shain: Bye.
Aragorn: I think we just need to…
Caitlyn: I think it, I don’t think it is.
Aerendyl: I
Aragorn: like, that’s the kingdom though, right?
Aerendyl: Think going to snow veil.
Aerendyl: Yeah, that’s the kingdom is is snow.
Aragorn: SNOWVILLE’S A DEATH TRAP THOUGH.
Aerendyl: I’m not one.
Aerendyl: Yeah
Aragorn: THAT’S WHERE- THAT-
DM: Now, not trying to discourage you, but just for the record, in Lavontia there are no guards
Aragorn: OKAY, CAUSE HERE’S THE THING, NATE, YOU GOTTA THINK, KINGDOMS, EVEN THOUGH YES, WE CAN TRADE,
Aragorn: WE CAN SLEEP, IT HAS GUARDS BY THE FUCKING PLENTY.
Aragorn: ESPECIALLY IF THE QUEEN IS MISSING
Aragorn: for, definitely, a few weeks or so by the time that we get there, due to travel being so slow,
Caitlyn: They hate outsiders?
Aerendyl: Hmm, that’s even scarier.
Aragorn: they’re definitely going to think something’s up.
DM: every citizen is trained as a magic user for high level ice magic and just kind of acts as guards.
DM: They also hate outsiders.
DM: There’s also Yin Lair chilling in Snowvale.
Aragorn: That’s even worse!
Solvar: Okay.
DM: Um, so just for the record,
Aragorn: you
DM: um, there’s, yes, there’s some there, you know, I’m just, just stuff to think about.
Caitlyn: There is in snow veil, isn’t he?
Caitlyn: That’s right
Aerendyl: You
DM: As far as you, Solvar, your answer is, what’s a snow veil?
Caitlyn: I would like to go make myself
DM: At this point you’re, like, you know it whenever you see it, but you’ve been in the cave for so long, you’re kind of locked out on most of the world and how it’s changed.
Aragorn: Yeah, that’s not how that works, buddy.
DM: That’s a very bad idea, but go for it.
Caitlyn: I would like to go meet myself.
Aerendyl: Um, I, I’m just going to start heading southeast to where I’m confident where that Coliseum
Caitlyn: Also I would…
DM: Mike, I think since anime where I shoot the fire, they shoot the ice and it just collides.
Caitlyn: Also I would love to see them try and use ice magic when I have a literal flamethrower
Caitlyn: attached to a hilt.
Caitlyn: Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s how a flamethrower works.
DM: Are you following the road or are you just heading in the directly?
Aragorn: Yeah, we should follow the road, yeah.
Aerendyl: I’ll follow the road because we might be able to find some people passing by to ask questions.
Caitlyn: I think the road’s fine, as long as we’re stealthy.
DM: All right.
Aragorn: Oh, and you know what would speed it up even more?
Caitlyn: Also, road will speed up our travel
Caitlyn: as opposed to taking a cart and horse through dirt.
Shain: What?
Shain: No, I…
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: I know, but the goal is to head in that area.
Aragorn: can use haste on the horse.
Caitlyn: And we don’t have to worry about this horse needing food
DM: Yes.
Caitlyn: because it’s magical.
Caitlyn: Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Flux, Fl
Aragorn: Yeah.
Aragorn: She’s gonna up and die.
DM: For the record flux.
DM: Fluxinator?
DM: Okay.
Aerendyl: I’m informing folks of what happened.
DM: Oh, you’re
DM: heating it up to speed?
Shain: I’m going to use Fireball actually, but yes, I will.
DM: Okay.
DM: I presume that you’re going to
Aerendyl: Yeah, we’re in caldera
DM: use haste 2 on the horse to go fast?
Aragorn: Carried the living shit out of it.
DM: Got it, got it, got it.
DM: Alright.
Aerendyl: Yeah
DM: In that case, that changes travel times.
Shain: Oh, yeah, I got you, yeah.
Aerendyl: Also bob derr
DM: Yes, sir.
Aerendyl: um
Aerendyl: while we’re traveling
Aragorn: you
Aerendyl: Uh if me and shan are in like a cart on the back
Aerendyl: I would like to… I don’t want to actually talk it out, but Shane, I want you to teach me how to do the fireball thingy on my leg again.
Aerendyl: I need to know how to do that, because I need to make a new leg.
Aerendyl: I’m making a new leg, and I need to do that again, so I just want to be taught how you did it, pretty much.
DM: Yes.
Shain: Yeah, okay, I’ll teach him yo, we left the cave well, okay question
Aerendyl: As we’re traveling, you know how it is?
Aerendyl: You know how it is?
Aerendyl: More like scared in a cave alone.
Shain: Because we have a new person right and that person is the person that was trying to murder us
Solvar: There was a lot happening.
Shain: I’m assuming that’s the same person, right?
Shain: Alright, I’m killing Shane.
DM: Yes, more or less.
Solvar: I didn’t mean to try to murder you.
DM: You’re just stressing too much.
Aerendyl: He’s just a little guy.
Solvar: He’s just a little guy.
DM: Wait a minute, seppuku?
Shain: Okay honestly, he’s got 1 HP, I could do it right here.
Aerendyl: Shane’s just a little guy, six feet under now.
DM: No, no, you’ve had a long rest for the record.
Aerendyl: Long rest, you long rest.
Solvar: Thank you, Stuart.
Shain: I don’t know, I regurgitate my long rests.
DM: I was going to do it for you, but I didn’t want to do it and then roll back for you.
Shain: Oh
Aerendyl: That’s how that works.
Aerendyl: Also, I don’t know if you’ve done this, Shane,
Aerendyl: but we are now level 10.
Shain: Yeah, wait, no, how did I forget I’m like the guy who does that
Shain: It’s fine, I’ll just use the online roll thing.
DM: Good roll.
Shain: Oh wow, look at that
Solvar: Okay.
Shain: Yeah
Shain: And I’ll pick the two spells as we’re continuing.
Shain: Go on!
DM: Fantastic.
DM: Alright.
DM: So, as you guys get on the road and you start going, of course, very fast, for the record
Aerendyl: I’m the Shane Express.
DM: so far.
Aragorn: I’m going to stop sharing my screen, and I’m going to stop sharing my screen, and I’m going
DM: You will be extremely uncomfortable as you have not ridden on
DM: in a proper cart for a while, and you most certainly have not been going four
Aragorn: to stop sharing my screen, and I’m going to stop sharing my screen, and I’m going to stop
Solvar: Yeah.
Solvar: Hell yeah.
Solvar: Do- at what point do I just throw up?
DM: times the regular speed on a bumpy cart.
Aragorn: sharing my screen, and I’m going to stop sharing my screen, and I’m going to stop sharing my
Caitlyn: but make sure that you’re not going to launch it off the cart.
Shain: You
Solvar: Like, at what point do I just vomit everywhere?
DM: So you definitely get there, but then your stomach realizes that there’s not
Aragorn: Oh
Aerendyl: slime, huh?
Solvar: Um, yeah, you’re right.
DM: enough food to throw up.
DM: So you end up just dry heaving in the back.
Solvar: I did eat- I did eat some dead rats and a dead rabbit back in the cave, so that’s pretty
Aragorn: No
DM: That was a day and a half ago.
Solvar: fresh right on the top of my stomach.
DM: So there’s enough.
DM: There’s enough to throw up.
DM: So like every talk just a little bit comes out.
Solvar: Just a little bit, yeah.
Aerendyl: Not in the cart, no!
Solvar: Yeah, it tracks.
Caitlyn: Don’t worry, I don’t like that, don’t worry, I don’t like that either.
Aragorn: It just dribbles out too, it’s not like full force
Shain: This is what I wanted to hear, yeah, I wanted it.
DM: Shane, for the context, by the way, every time that, you know, a little bit comes up,
Solvar: God.
Aragorn: And fur, and fur, yeah, yep, yep.
Solvar: Delicious.
Aerendyl: The texture of cottage cheese
Solvar: Caitlyn, if you’re next to me, am I throwing up on you?
DM: It’s just, like, rotten, like, bits of flesh.
Aerendyl: Hairball
Aragorn: It’s a fur sticking out of it, you know.
Solvar: Since you’re the one holding me?
Caitlyn: I can’t I probably
Aerendyl: It’s a weird kink
Caitlyn: It’s not
DM: Okay.
DM: All right, well, okie dokie.
Aragorn: Oh my goodness, it’s like that Chainsaw Man panel where, where Himeno throws up in Denji’s
Shain: I’m going to go ahead and do that.
Aragorn: mouth!
Caitlyn: I forgot, you know, they animated that too, right?
Aragorn: WAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Aerendyl: All righty, can we TNT, please?
DM: We can D&D, yes.
Shain: Help.
DM: you, as once again the Sun begins to set on the second day of travel, you kind of
Caitlyn: you
Shain: Oh, so it’s not black smoke.
DM: see off in the distance some smoke.
DM: It’s definitely far off in the distance,
Aragorn: What color?
DM: probably another four to six hours worth of travel, but it definitely looks like
Aerendyl: The water dark like white smoke or black smoke.
DM: signs of civilization.
Aragorn: What color smoke?
DM: It doesn’t look like… it’s not concerning smoke.
DM: It’s like
DM: smoke from like a probably ish but you guys know that you are kind of close now
Aragorn: That’s why it’s welcome.
Shain: Yeah, it’s white smoke.
Shain: That’s why I smoke.
Aerendyl: That’s why.
Shain: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
DM: before you guys take a long rest which I presume will also happen in the
DM: wonderful I can’t think of it that tiny hut is if I want to do anything
DM: You know that the dragon left, and they suddenly felt very hungry, and Caitlyn being the quote
Shain: So for me, and uh, I guess, basically new person showed up, why are they with us?
Caitlyn: Well, here’s the funny thing, if I wasn’t lawful good,
Shain: Do I know already with context?
DM: quote-unquote lawful good paladin that she is basically invited Sylvard to join.
Shain: Yeah, okay, so yeah, honestly, depending on what’s happening, I’ll be like, I’ll walk
Caitlyn: Somewhere along the line I would have done something that broke my bow.
Caitlyn: So how about you go fuck yourself?
Caitlyn: It’s still awful good
DM: And that’s why I said lawful good I just included the qualifier of quote-unquote.
Aerendyl: It’s like a touchy subject for the lawful good character.
Shain: over if there’s a moment because like if I’m casting tiny’s hut or whatever tiny’s hut
Shain: oh my gosh tiny hut uh I’ll just walk over like nonchalantly hey um I’m Shane I’m sorry
Caitlyn: Oh, also, Solver has the staff, don’t they?
Solvar: I assumed at some point I would have.
Shain: we got off on the wrong foot but uh your fireballs are pretty cool
DM: You’re probably right.
Aerendyl: You
Caitlyn: I don’t know if that was ever, like, I don’t know if you ever looked into what that did
Caitlyn: in the last day and a half, wow.
Solvar: Yeah.
DM: Like I said, it needs to be attuned to and you certainly have tried but for whatever
Solvar: Mm-hmm.
Caitlyn: So in the last day and a half.
DM: reason it’s not wanting to attune properly.
DM: You’ll get close but then it
DM: will just kind of push away, which honestly kind of pisses you off a bit
Solvar: Cool.
Caitlyn: Can I take a look at it while you guys are yapping?
DM: because it’s supposed to do what you want it to because it’s a gift.
Solvar: Yeah, it’s edging me and it’s I’m very upset about it.
Shain: Hey Butter, is it okay if I take, can I take Spelljamming Helm?
DM: Yes, yes, yes.
Solvar: That makes sense.
DM: I mean you totally can, yeah.
Solvar: Huh?
DM: As long as she says yes.
Solvar: I suppose you could see it.
Solvar: Yeah, I suppose you could see it.
DM: He says yes, so far as he, yes, sorry, what?
Shain: Hey Butter, can I take Create Spelljamming Helm, it’s part of base 5e.
Solvar: Yes.
Solvar: This will throw you off every time.
Aragorn: Bye-bye.
Caitlyn: Oh, it’ll let it’ll let flux to bypass dimensions.
DM: Create spell, let me think about that.
Shain: I will get home whether you want me to or not
DM: No.
Caitlyn: Yeah
Caitlyn: Hey, you know what he let me cast flux find vehicle
Shain: For that 150 fiend edition
DM: I I I specifically said that that was the only one not allowed
Caitlyn: Dude I want to he let me cast he let me literally someone afford f-150 in front of it
Aerendyl: That’s a lie.
Aragorn: It still crushes you.
Caitlyn: No, I summoned the titanic
Shain: Yeah
Aerendyl: It was the LEGO Titanic.
Shain: RIP new characters, huh?
Caitlyn: Cool you still die.
Caitlyn: Yeah the campaign ended
DM: Campaign over
Caitlyn: Oh, see, let me know if you find a way out man
Shain: Dude, I’m trying.
DM: I know, bro.
Shain: My spell selection is just trying to get my character off this stupid, like, ARGH!
Shain: I’m stuck, man.
Caitlyn: Anyway, sorry to interrupt you and your in-depth discussion with Glenn.
Shain: I kind of make the gesture that I want your name
Solvar: I think if that’s what you do, I would not give you my name.
Shain: in case I didn’t get it already.
Shain: Yeah, exactly what Nate did.
Shain: Cause that’s exactly what Shane would do.
DM: Okay.
Shain: Such a character.
Aragorn: Man, you’re weird.
Solvar: I’d probably turn and hopefully walk away from you.
Aerendyl: Why is it that Shane can only hold up conversations with children?
Shain: Okay.
Solvar: Yeah.
Shain: Okay, nice talk.
Solvar: That’s fuckin’ weird, bro.
Solvar: I’ll walk over to Caitlyn and be like, that guy’s kinda weird, isn’t he?
Shain: I’m actually just going to kill the character.
DM: Thank you for your time.
Aerendyl: You’re not beating the allegations!
Shain: I’m just going to kill the character right now.
Aerendyl: No!
Shain: I’m going to kill him right now.
Aerendyl: He, but he…
Shain: He’s not making it to level 10.
Aerendyl: He should be.
Aerendyl: Uh…
Shain: Fabricate.
Aragorn: What do you mean?
Aerendyl: Um…
Shain: Not yet.
Aerendyl: Bob Durr.
Shain: I know I’m in the process of it, that’s why I say not yet.
Aragorn: He is level 10.
Aerendyl: After a day of…
Aerendyl: I don’t know.
Aragorn: But yes he is, Flux.
Aragorn: We leveled up last session, dawg.
DM: Oh, okay, okay.
DM: I was pretty lost for a second, I’m not going to lie.
DM: Yes, sir.
Aerendyl: After a day’s worth of thinking on it, I’m pretty confident in what I want with the new leg blueprint.
Aragorn: you
Shain: I’m taking the other stupid, little stupid spell for the stupid character that gets stupid.
Aerendyl: So I’ll be working on that before I take my long rest.
DM: All righty, I’m going to need and I’m going to check it, please, if I may.
Shain: Oh, there we go.
DM: All right, you got 23 you said, okay, 23, all righty.
Aerendyl: Can’t get I can’t get lucky my role bro.
Aragorn: Hello.
Aerendyl: I used all my luckies bro, and I highest I got was a
Aerendyl: 23
Caitlyn: or
Caitlyn: Hi, hi.
Caitlyn: Hi.
Caitlyn: Hi
Aerendyl: Yep
DM: um you obviously did not finish but you know you’re getting there um
Aerendyl: I’m getting there.
Shain: Make a joke, make a joke, make a joke, make a joke.
DM: okie dokie the uh as you guys kind of awaken the next morning
Solvar: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Caitlyn: You don’t wake up actually you’re all dead
DM: uh i’m sorry don’t wait back up nate did you uh no nate did you get the staff did you want to do
DM: to do something with it, Receptor?
Caitlyn: Or arcana maybe I guess
Aerendyl: I think it was the Queen’s staff.
DM: What exactly are you trying to figure out?
Caitlyn: I’ll
Shain: Why are we obsessed with the staff?
Caitlyn: Can I can I edge the staff
Caitlyn: Can I try to attune to the staff and if it like would let me pull away last second?
Caitlyn: I want to see if it’s directed it like it’s so far specifically or just the story the staff agenda
DM: Yeah, I guess you could totally try.
DM: It will, it does kind of take a while to try to attune, it takes about an hour.
Caitlyn: Is that a role or just it’s gonna happen
Aragorn: It was a gift.
Caitlyn: Wouldn’t this be like over the it was a gift from the right
Aerendyl: You
Caitlyn: I thought this would have been over the course of the last day and a half
DM: I know, it would be over, it would be, I was just saying that, you know, you’d basically
Caitlyn: That’s fine.
Shain: Silence.
DM: just be kind of sitting there staring at it for an hour.
Caitlyn: Pallet.
DM: But once again, as you kind of try, it also just kind of pushes away from you.
Solvar: You
Caitlyn: Yeah, go ahead.
DM: However, since you are more familiar with magic items and the nature of magic in and
Caitlyn: Can I push deeper and see what it is?
DM: of itself, you do kind of sense that there is some requirement that has to be made before
Aragorn: Okay.
Shain: Blood sacrifice.
DM: you can properly attune to it.
DM: That wouldn’t be an Arcana check.
Caitlyn: I am the magister of the motherfucking weave.
Caitlyn: Deal.
Caitlyn: I have a pretty good arcana actually.
DM: You are.
DM: 23.
DM: You realize that this scepter is just straight up brutal and requires activation by blood.
Caitlyn: You have a pretty motherfucking good arcana, that’s a 23.
Shain: Get out of the way.
DM: To attune to it, you literally have to sacrifice any living creature and sit in its blood for
DM: for an hour to attune.
Solvar: And I shoot the squirrel.
Caitlyn: I take out my human gun, and I shoot it.
Shain: Just do it, just do it, just do it, just do it, just do it, just do it, just do it, just
Caitlyn: Are there any, like, uh, creatures near my, like, little, like, little woodland creatures?
DM: Now, given the fact that it was provided to you
Caitlyn: Like a, like a…
Aragorn: Be like Snow White, get them all together.
DM: by a very powerful dragon with no context,
Aerendyl: I mean, Shane does want to die.
DM: you would kind of just inherently assume
DM: that the more powerful the creature whose blood you use,
DM: the more powerful the staff slash scepter will be.
Solvar: Nate, just slit somebody’s throat.
Caitlyn: I’m not gonna kill Shane, bro.
Shain: Let’s do it.
Shain: Get it over with.
Shain: You hate me anyway.
Caitlyn: I don’t hate you, Flux.
Caitlyn: I need you to get home, man.
Caitlyn: I’m not gonna kill you.
Caitlyn: Okay.
Shain: Bro, I wanna get home too!
Caitlyn: So hear me out.
Caitlyn: The stronger the creature, the stronger the staff, right?
Aerendyl: Yeah, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s,
DM: You just kind of assume that.
DM: You didn’t really discern that, but given the context, that’s what you’d think.
Caitlyn: Somebody correct me if I’m wrong, or not correct me if I’m wrong, Dwagan should still have
Shain: You mean the thing that’s been months and months and months and months?
Caitlyn: The head of Vex Mortis
Aragorn: You mean the decayed, rotting head?
Caitlyn: In his bag of holding
DM: Yes.
Aerendyl: It’s… it’s…
DM: Yes, he should.
Aerendyl: Yeah, it’s decayed.
Caitlyn: The one that I can’t no, no, no, no, ah, I cast, uh, what’s it called?
Aerendyl: Rotted.
DM: He did.
Caitlyn: I cast ceremony on it so it wouldn’t fall apart.
Caitlyn: It wouldn’t decay
DM: He did cast that.
DM: I remember it.
Aragorn: Smash the piñata, kids!
DM: So yeah, you just got the head of a god filling in your bag.
Caitlyn: Which means technically
Caitlyn: Hey, uh, Dwagan, can I borrow- Dwagan, can I bor- Can I borrow- Can I borrow that?
Aerendyl: Oh!
Aerendyl: A ponytail!
Caitlyn: Can I borrow that for a second?
Aerendyl: Well, the thing is, Nate, your character wouldn’t know this, so you’d have to bring it up with
Caitlyn: I would!
Aerendyl: me.
Caitlyn: I had it!
Aerendyl: Your character, Kaitlin, did not fight!
Caitlyn: I held- I held- No, no, I held- I had it some- I didn’t, but I held it at some point.
Caitlyn: You had it out when we were scaring the fucking people.
Shain: Scary, scary, scary, scary, scary, scary, scary, scary, scary, scary, scary, scary, scary,
Aragorn: You
Caitlyn: people who attacked us.
Caitlyn: We we were passing.
Aerendyl: That was before Kaitlin joined.
DM: Because Caitlyn didn’t use Ceremony on it.
Aerendyl: When did I bring out the head in front of Katelyn?
Caitlyn: Because you brought it out
Caitlyn: because they were servants of Exmorris, and they were like,
Caitlyn: we’re going to go and jump your ass, and you were like,
Caitlyn: I killed his bitch ass.
Shain: Bro, I heard Butterscotch, I know he’s looking at the logs.
Caitlyn: because Ian Laird gave it to you.
DM: Alright.
DM: There’s where you cut it off.
Aerendyl: That’s true.
Aerendyl: You could ask.
Aerendyl: I’m not opposed to giving it to you.
Aerendyl: I’m just wanting to make sure there’s actual reason to.
DM: I’m pretty sure…
Aerendyl: Yeah, I had a feeling.
DM: Uh…
DM: Going to find… No!
DM: Caitlyn would not be aware of it.
DM: Because…
Caitlyn: Okay, cool.
Aerendyl: It was Yin Lair’s time, right?
DM: Yin Lair… Yeah, and Caitlyn showed up after the fact.
DM: Convex Mortis has not had any context since.
Aerendyl: Because Vex Mortis was, but Cailin, Cailin’s never been to Luminevia.
DM: I don’t remember who cast the ceremony, but I do know that that timeline doesn’t match.
Aerendyl: It was, it was, um, Yenlair.
Caitlyn: Inlair had to have cast up on, so it wouldn’t have…okay, because I did have spells on
Aerendyl: It had to have been Yenlair.
Aerendyl: Yeah, because, yeah, you’ve never been to Luminevia.
Caitlyn: Inlair’s code.
Aerendyl: That makes sense.
Aerendyl: Because, yeah, we fought him near Brimstone, right?
Caitlyn: and I’ll go somewhere near there.
Shain: Thank you.
Aerendyl: Or was it in Brimstone?
DM: Uh, what?
Aerendyl: Yeah, Kaelin’s never been there.
DM: And Brimstone is where Vex Mortis was.
DM: …
DM: Yeah.
Aerendyl: Kaelin plopped up in… what, Dysernia?
DM: Uh…
Caitlyn: Hey,
DM: Yes-ish, kind of.
Aragorn: So, go ahead.
DM: No.
Caitlyn: hey,
DM: Intellectia.
Aerendyl: You’ll find me up on a tree.
DM: Sorry, what’s up?
Caitlyn: Hey, uh, Arendelle.
Shain: you
Aerendyl: Scribbling down shit.
DM: …
Caitlyn: Okay.
Caitlyn: Hi.
Caitlyn: Sir.
Caitlyn: Sir?
Caitlyn: I’d like to have a conversation with you.
Aerendyl: What?
DM: you
Aerendyl: I’m- I can hear you.
Caitlyn: You’ve been around the block a few times, so to speak.
Caitlyn: Looking for… I’m gonna hold
Aragorn: Go ahead.
Aerendyl: No.
Caitlyn: the staff a little bit, requires a dosing of blood, so to speak, looking for a remnant
Aerendyl: What do I feel like you came to me because you know I like keeping trophies of my prey?
Caitlyn: or some sort of powerful creature that maybe we could go kill, or if you already have leftovers
Caitlyn: of something you’ve killed.
DM: I’m going to stop sharing my screen, and I’m going to stop sharing my screen, and I’m going
DM: to stop sharing my screen, and I’m going to stop sharing my screen, and I’m going to stop
Caitlyn: Because I know you like keeping trophies of your friend looking
Aerendyl: Ah, shit, you got me.
Aragorn: Oh, you got me, you got me.
Caitlyn: for a strong substitute.
DM: sharing my screen, and I’m going to stop sharing my screen, and I’m going to stop sharing my
Aerendyl: Fuck.
Aragorn: Hey.
Aerendyl: What is this for exactly?
Aerendyl: What do you need blood of a powerful being?
Shain: Blurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
DM: screen, and I’m going to stop sharing my screen, and I’m going to stop sharing my screen, and
Caitlyn: According to the…
Caitlyn: I kind of like wrote my hand down the end of the staff.
Caitlyn: According to our new friend’s staff, it requires the blood of a strong creature.
Caitlyn: The stronger the creature, the stronger the staff.
Caitlyn: That’s why I’m looking to see if you have some leftovers of something you’ve killed.
Aragorn: The
Aerendyl: So we want to give this staff that’s covered in powerful blood to the Rat-Eater?
Aerendyl: True.
Aerendyl: Oh, trust me, I’m not- I’m not even that worried about it at all, I was just kind of like throwing
Caitlyn: I think it’s the staff from the dragon, I kind of…
Caitlyn: We can trust them.
Caitlyn: It’s good to have another hand on our side, especially with the ogre.
Aerendyl: that out there.
Aerendyl: I do that sometimes.
Aerendyl: Sure.
Aerendyl: Sure, I mean, um, if you could preserve the face…
Aragorn: rat eater is a crazy bar.
Caitlyn: I don’t know how strong it is, I’m happy too.
Aerendyl: If you could preserve the face as much as you can, I’ll be grateful, I mean, you can
Aerendyl: easily get it up in the neck.
Aerendyl: That’s fine.
Solvar: Bye-bye.
Aerendyl: I just, let me just, I just like, rummaging around, like, I pull out my fucking, my piece
Aerendyl: of wood that I got from that one cave when Caitlyn showed up.
DM: He’s just started taking wood from the…
Aerendyl: I remember the wooden beams!
Aerendyl: Uh, nope, that’s not it, I just put it back, eh, wait, oh!
Caitlyn: Excellent.
Aerendyl: This is Ponytail.
Aerendyl: Yep.
DM: You
Aerendyl: Oh!
Aerendyl: I might have broken his ear.
Aerendyl: Ah!
Aerendyl: There he is.
Aerendyl: May I present to you the head of Vex Mortis!
Caitlyn: Just toss it down.
Caitlyn: I’m going to get a little here if I can.
DM: The second like neck where it’s cut the blood just kind of perfectly coagulated they’re still enough in there
Aerendyl: There you go!
Aerendyl: Please keep the face in good condition.
Caitlyn: I will and just in case looking to pay you back and I’m going to reach into my bag and
Aragorn: And that was a pretty good throw.
Aerendyl: Thank you very much.
DM: Oh, the undead sword?
Caitlyn: I’m going to just throw a long sword at you not like a like I’m intending to hurt you
Caitlyn: but I’m going to like toss it up into the tree.
Caitlyn: I’m going to give dragon one of my two the swords from the undead guy the skeleton that
Caitlyn: were it’s something it has some undead magic in it because when I use it it
Aerendyl: Hey, Buter, if I’m not mistaken, I have the contact of Nighthawk, right?
Caitlyn: does the hands and shit out of the ground I’m gonna give him one of my
DM: Got it, got it, got it, got it, got it.
Caitlyn: because I grabbed two of those swords I’ve had two the entire time I’m gonna
DM: All right, all right, all right.
Caitlyn: give him one and then I’m gonna return to so far with a severed head of some
Caitlyn: random dude and his staff
DM: Yes, sir?
DM: You do, yes.
Caitlyn: Ring up your boy.
Aerendyl: He’s always in Judicar slash Intellectia, right?
DM: You have a special sneak stone that connects
DM: that connects to connects to him.
Aerendyl: Or Brawnstrand, I should say.
Aerendyl: He doesn’t really leave that at place.
DM: From what you have seen,
DM: he had only ever been around
DM: Judicar, but from the rumors,
DM: he’s been all over the world.
Caitlyn: Bye-bye.
Aerendyl: As we get closer, because the way that I’m thinking is we’re going to pass by the Coliseum.
DM: Okay, all righty, um,
Aerendyl: I think it’s easiest to go to Everchill, maybe to Comcrest, and then travel back to Judacart
Aerendyl: and avoid Snowvale.
Aerendyl: My goal is as soon as we, if we do go that way to like Comcrest, I want to contact him,
Aerendyl: see where he’s at.
Aerendyl: I want to see what the sword’s about.
Aerendyl: That’s it.
Aerendyl: That’s cool.
Caitlyn: Yeah, I’m going to take the severed head and the scepter and hand them both to Sylvar
DM: I
DM: Guess so
Solvar: Thank you.
DM: Does Caitlin just give us thinking severed head and the scepter to so far or like
Caitlyn: and go, don’t ask questions as to where I got them, I got them from him, just because
Caitlyn: I had a pointed dragon, no clue where he got them.
Caitlyn: kind of like squeeze the head out like a like a wet rag just kind of let the
Aerendyl: Keep the face intact, please!
Caitlyn: blood kind of drip on you and then you’re stuck to the staff
Solvar: Are you gonna kill me again?
Caitlyn: won’t
Aerendyl: Again.
Aerendyl: Oh, my fault, jeez.
Caitlyn: I will take the longsword off of my hip and ram it to the ground and take two steps back
Solvar: Nate killed me last-
Solvar: Nits already killed me once.
Solvar: Yeah.
Solvar: Nate basically immediately killed me
Solvar: and then immediately brought me back.
Solvar: It was a lot.
Caitlyn: Oh
Solvar: I guess I’m just gonna
DM: Of course, you could, for a more brutal take, would be to stick a foot down the scepter
Solvar: squeeze it like a fuckin’ lemon
Solvar: lemon and just, like, squeeze the head.
DM: and then just soon lay up the head into the top of the scepter.
Solvar: That’s so much better.
Solvar: Actually, I’d like to do that.
Solvar: Mm-hmm.
DM: Okay.
Solvar: Yeah, I’m just gonna stake it right on top.
DM: All right, you do that, and then I presume that you start trying to attune to it.
Solvar: Mm, delicious.
Solvar: Yeah, I’m just going to vibe here with it.
Caitlyn: .
DM: Yeah, so as the blood drips down the scepter, for the record, basically it looks like a quarter staff, slightly shortened, made out of bone.
Solvar: I’m sure it’s fine.
DM: But the kind of blood that’s dripping down just seems to seep into the staff, the scepter.
DM: And slowly, but surely, the head of Vex Mortis that looked relatively pristine and, you know,
DM: and the face just kind of looks withered and more withered as more of the blood just kind of gets taken out of the head.
DM: Eventually, the head is just completely emptied of all blood and any bodily fluids, as it’s basically just a mask now.
DM: But you can kind of just push off the head on the ground as you finally do attune to the scepter.
DM: For the record, this is a very nice, wonderful scepter that can act as a spellcasting focus, of course.
Aragorn: Do it all, Nate.
DM: But, uh, the more fun part is that it allows you to cast a wonderful homebrewed spell called
Caitlyn: Does it do more damage because we sacrificed a god?
Shain: We sacrificed a God what what did I miss last session?
DM: Dragon’s Breath.
DM: Um…
DM: Do with that what you will.
Solvar: Oh, yeah.
Solvar: Where’s the nearest person I could just try this out on?
DM: Um, you, you’re not completely sure, but, uh, I advise you to try it out and find out.
Aragorn: Okay.
Shain: Just kill me just kill me just kill me honestly just kill me
Aragorn: Boom.
DM: you
Caitlyn: The nearest person would be me.
Aragorn: Same.
Caitlyn: you immediately go and just douse me in flames.
Solvar: Not you, maybe the person in the party I don’t really know.
Caitlyn: Dwagons in a tree.
Caitlyn: You can light the tree up like a candle.
Solvar: Nah.
Caitlyn: You can light up the tree, Dwagons, like a candle.
Solvar: No, cuz I gotta toss him back his head.
Caitlyn: What a weird guy.
Aerendyl: Are you going to attack Shane?
Solvar: The weird guy seems like the good option to me.
Solvar: Yeah, he seems like the best option.
Caitlyn: Well, you know, you can’t let Shane,
Aragorn: A squirrel magically appears.
Caitlyn: you can’t let Shane die.
Caitlyn: You cannot let Shane die.
Shain: No, he’s done.
DM: Um, well, we’ll just, we’ll just assume that you attuned on the second day of travel.
Caitlyn: Shades by ticket, shades by ticket, hope.
Shain: No, no, he’s done.
Solvar: Is there, like, a small woodland creature I can try it out on?
Shain: No, no, no, just do it.
DM: So you’re like three hours away from the thing, uh, as you guys are kind of just heading down
Solvar: Mm-hmm.
Solvar: Cool.
Solvar: Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
Solvar: Because I want to try it out.
DM: the road.
Shain: Stab me and kill me.
DM: Um, there is what appears to be just maybe about like 50 feet away, what appears to be
Solvar: Well.
DM: a deer that’s just kind of eating some wonderful grass off to the side.
Caitlyn: Bye-bye.
Solvar: Oh yeah, I’m going for it.
Solvar: I’d like to obliterate it, please.
DM: All righty, as you just point the scepter and cast Dragon’s Breath, all of you who were just
DM: expecting, you know, oh just your normal fire magic, a gigantic cone of 60 feet of like bright
Aragorn: I hope you like your chicken extra crispy.
DM: blue fire just shoots out.
DM: The deer, who was very innocent, unsuspecting, not doing anything,
Shain: Silence.
DM: is now a nice roasted dinner.
Solvar: Anybody hungry?
DM: Just a loft on the ground.
Aerendyl: Dude, I guess.
Solvar: Hell yeah.
DM: All of the bushes and plant life that was
Solvar: Dragon, did you get your head, by the way?
DM: in between you and the deer have been returned to complete.
Aragorn: So, Noah, go ahead.
DM: Just some smoke remains at best.
DM: But yeah, there you go.
DM: It’s dead now.
DM: Congratulations.
Caitlyn: good idea go ahead and go ahead and roll damage i want to see how much damage
Aerendyl: I need my head back.
Aerendyl: I’m assuming it’s halved, if they succeed.
DM: It does 88 fire damage to every creature that fails a save.
Solvar: Nate, can you please give Dragon head, please?
DM: you.
Caitlyn: all right i give dragon head
DM: Yes.
Solvar: Thank you.
Aragorn: So no head.
Aragorn: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Aerendyl: Is the head’s condition still good in terms of its face?
Caitlyn: please stop please please stop what glow
Solvar: Put it on, where it is, our helmet.
DM: Okay.
DM: I mean, other than the fact that it kind of looks drained, though maybe
DM: a little bit more valve nourished, it looks fine.
Caitlyn: The fucking Doom faceplate mask.
DM: But if you like flip the head over and
DM: kind of like look into it, you notice that the brain is gone, the blood is gone, it’s
DM: practically going to be worn as a mask now.
Aragorn: So, go ahead.
DM: It’s just a floozy head.
Shain: That’s what the mask is.
Aerendyl: That’s not a fool, like a flimsy head, just a paper bag!
Caitlyn: If I can pull it back, oh my god.
Aerendyl: Can I- butter, butter, serious question, I need the serious answer, I’m not doing this,
Aerendyl: theoretically as an artificer can I use this to make it into a bag of holding?
Aerendyl: Sorry, let me get out my coin purse.
Aragorn: You see, you see Glow, you were the holder, he is the maker.
Solvar: Yeah, you know what, fair.
DM: Oh my gosh, alrighty, as you guys are doing that, you guys had a nice meal of deer.
Solvar: Yeah, you know what, we’re reasonable.
Aragorn: Behold your maker.
Caitlyn: THE MAKER!
Aerendyl: Is the map loading, or can I just not see it?
DM: You get back on the road and finish your last three hours of travel.
DM: As you pull into, this isn’t really a town, this is more of a very small village.
DM: It’s got a handful of structures, but as you guys kind of, yes, sorry.
Aragorn: Bye.
Caitlyn: It’s just all dark.
Aerendyl: Maybe when I’m spreading misinformation?
Caitlyn: It’s doing the thing again.
Caitlyn: I’ve had everything out.
DM: It’s just all dark.
Solvar: Bye-bye.
DM: That’s on purpose.
DM: I say as I lie to my, my, my, my, my, uh, there we go.
Caitlyn: Is that me when I lie?
Aerendyl: Oh wait, hold up!
DM: Um, uh, but anyways, uh, it’s got like just a handful of, uh, no, no, well for this place,
Aerendyl: Did you make this map yourself?
Caitlyn: Nevermind, there’s all my
Aerendyl: I thought I thought you updated your maps.
DM: uh you know they have the more other decent maps um but anyways as you guys kind of are
Aerendyl: There.
Caitlyn: you
DM: approaching um there is somebody that’s kind of in the road um as they kind of see you approach
Aragorn: I want to approach the centaur.
DM: uh and it’s a a very large centaur um just staring you guys down uh he’s maybe about
Aerendyl: Can I… Can I… Maybe… Maybe the Wanted guy…
DM: As you guys are approaching maybe maybe about a hundred feet out at this point that you’ve been able to like really make them out
DM: Do you guys want to do anything?
Caitlyn: Doesn’t he look like a war figure, like?
DM: In preparation call out to him or you just gonna continue approaching
DM: You guys are, so you’re all in the cart still, so if you want to approach, you’d be hopping
Aragorn: I want to approach the centaur.
Aragorn: I want to approach the Centaur, Mr. Butter.
Aerendyl: We’re still in Kuldera.
Aerendyl: Theoretically, right?
Aerendyl: Oh yeah.
Caitlyn: Navigator, you’re the compass.
DM: out and being slower than the cart, but, okay.
Shain: Navigator.
Aragorn: I will approach when we arrive.
Aerendyl: We’re not in Levant, right?
DM: You are, like I said, according to your wonderful navigator, you’re pretty sure you’re in Caldera.
Aerendyl: Insert.
Aerendyl: I have a compass.
Aerendyl: Compass.
DM: As an etheric navigator, please stop calling it a compass.
Aerendyl: Yes, I’ll call it my navigator.
Shain: Navigator?
Shain: You mean like the Destiny 2?
Solvar: Like, from Destiny?
Shain: Yeah.
Aragorn: Now
Aragorn: Like from Destiny, one brain cell, like from Destiny.
Shain: POV Every Raid Boss.
DM: I swear there is like one brain cell shared in this group and none of us get a turn.
Aerendyl: No!
Aerendyl: Help!
Aerendyl: Help me!
Aerendyl: 1,000 brain cells from Destiny 2?
Caitlyn: I’ll follow closely.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Shain: Help.
Shain: Silence.
Aragorn: Riven?
Aerendyl: If we get like, if we get 15 feet close, I would like to hop out and talk to him.
Aragorn: I want to talk to him first.
Shain: Hey.
DM: OK, so so we’re just kind of approaching the 15 feet.
Aerendyl: Oh.
Aerendyl: I’d say slow down, don’t go as fast.
DM: All right
Aragorn: I dare approach.
Aragorn: I approach him.
Shain: Laugh all good, by the way.
DM: As you guys just kind of approach
Aragorn: to him.
DM: Once you get to 20 feet he just kind of puts on this really big smile and says
Caitlyn: Oh my God, I’m going to kick somebody’s ass, bro.
DM: finally
DM: Challenges which one of you am I facing?
Aragorn: That would be I. No, no, trust, trust.
Caitlyn: I’m so ready.
Caitlyn: No, no, no.
Caitlyn: You let this guy.
Aragorn: I got this in the bag.
Caitlyn: That’s racist.
DM: He just, what?
Caitlyn: That’s a racist.
Aragorn: I got this guy.
Aragorn: That would
Aragorn: be a guy my centaurian fellow that’s not racist mom and dad are fighting again
Aerendyl: I’m just gonna go back to the cart and start working on my thing, as I hear them just start
Caitlyn: All right, well, if it starts to look like he’s gonna lose, just kill them both with
Solvar: Got it, that was fully my plan.
DM: I mean, you could.
Aerendyl: battling it out.
Aerendyl: Just be like, well, shit.
Aragorn: Time to go back to my workshop.
Caitlyn: with the staff.
Caitlyn: Look up.
Aragorn: I do have a really cool character as a backup.
Solvar: Hell yeah.
Caitlyn: Wait, actually, can we just
Solvar: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because I was only just gonna
Caitlyn: burn this village to the ground
Aerendyl: Give him a fair chance.
Caitlyn: and walk out?
Caitlyn: We win.
Aragorn: Yeah, but I want to give him a fight at least.
Caitlyn: Alright.
DM: You should.
Aragorn: Let’s let’s let’s give him.
Caitlyn: Go hold the staff out,
Solvar: burn the guy, but yeah.
Caitlyn: hold the staff out.
Caitlyn: I’m going to take like a like a can of
Solvar: Okay, you know what, fair.
Aragorn: We’re not gonna free ren
Caitlyn: hairspray and we’re just going to.
Caitlyn: 300 foot.
Aerendyl: I can’t wait for her.
Aragorn: Dude, perfect weapon controlling the staff is gonna be a fucking nightmare.
Caitlyn: No, Glow’s going to hand me the staff and I’m going to perfect weapon control and just nuclear bomb.
Aerendyl: Sorry.
Solvar: Hold on.
Aerendyl: I just…
Aerendyl: I can’t fuckin’ wait.
Aragorn: Do you understand?
Aragorn: Dude, you’re gonna drop both Nagasaki and Hiroshima
Caitlyn: I’m going to drop a… I’m going to… I am going to drop Hiroshima on this bitch.
DM: You’ll find out.
Aerendyl: Bro.
Aragorn: The humble, oh, the humble D20.
Aerendyl: There’s two ways this goes out.
Aerendyl: Either a Andrew easily beats out the centaur because butter is like big guy level two or
Caitlyn: Or, it was going to get us shit rocked.
Aerendyl: He’s gonna take a legendary action
DM: find out.
Aerendyl: She put a die
DM: So, dragon, not dragon, Andrew.
DM: As you kind of prepare for battle, he’s
DM: very, he’s making it very clear that he is waiting for you to make the first
Aragorn: Mr. Centaurian, I am a defensive fighter.
DM: move.
DM: Apparently, he seems like itchy to go towards you, but it seems like
Caitlyn: He’s a he’s a vampire.
DM: something is holding him back.
Caitlyn: He has to be invited.
DM: Just a big smile.
Aragorn: I wait for the first move to be made.
DM: So the challenger gets to go first.
Aragorn: Correct
DM: As he reaches into a bag of holding pulls out a gigantic spear, and he points it directly
Caitlyn: He pulls out the cartoonish, big, round, black Acme bomb.
Aragorn: Whoa
DM: at you.
DM: He goes, I’ll have you know, I was an attempter at the grand bout!
Caitlyn: Big, lit fuse going on the top of it.
Caitlyn: Pad it.
Aragorn: Hey
Aragorn: so
Aragorn: Butter there’s this really funny thing that I have it’s called Perry
Aragorn: And I’m going to use it whenever he hits me.
Aragorn: Yep.
Aragorn: Just letting you know.
Aerendyl: I knew it, I knew it, I fucking knew it.
Aragorn: Uh-huh.
DM: he charges towards you.
DM: Now, he has like this air of somebody that knows what the
Caitlyn: We’re not gonna throw it?
DM: crap he’s doing, but as he begins to charge, he literally trips over his own
Caitlyn: Break his ankles with a baseball bat.
DM: his own hoof, but he catches himself.
Aragorn: How much to sidestep and decap the fuck out of
DM: It continues running.
Aerendyl: Um
DM: Yes, Andrew.
DM: I will 100% allow it.
Aragorn: Okay, okay
DM: This guy is not supposed to be strong.
DM: You could probably do it with your eyes closed.
Aragorn: I’m sidestepping and then flipping my sword over with the hill and just kneecapping him
DM: So you’re just sidestepping him just so he can fall over trying to get to you.
Caitlyn: You’re clapping his ass.
Aerendyl: Oh
Aerendyl: Charlie Brown, where’s Charlie Brown again?
DM: And he just kind of, like, takes the fall as, you know, it obviously hurt and he’s gigantic
Aragorn: with the hell of the summer.
Aragorn: Ha ha ha ha ha!
DM: centaur and you kind of disabled one of his legs.
Aragorn: Mhm.
Aragorn: No, he’s a horse on a hardwood floor!
DM: He kind of turns around, and says,
DM: Oh.
DM: He keeps trying to like, stand up, but then his like, leg gives out,
DM: as he says,
DM: Fine!
DM: As he puts away his spear, and he pulls out a sword,
DM: and he tries to like, turn to attack you,
DM: but because you hit him at an angle,
DM: he’s just kind of like, flopping up and down, scooting around,
DM: as he starts swinging wildly.
DM: he’s not he’s not making it anywhere close to you before another man this one
Aragorn: Know
DM: appears to be a half-orc and it just shows up from from the village and he
Aragorn: Hmm
DM: says the bout is over stop making a fool of yourself the the centaur just kind of
Aragorn: Yes.
DM: looks down and just puts the sword out.
Caitlyn: I think Gander is like a kind of undisputed yeah.
DM: But the half-orc approaches you,
DM: Andrew.
DM: He says, very expertly done.
DM: I presume you’re the leader of this group?
DM: That makes sense.
Aragorn: Yeah, I am.
Aragorn: I am.
Aragorn: Yes, that would be me.
Aragorn: We just once straight good question.
DM: Strange direction you’re coming from.
Caitlyn: Bo, it’s my horse, what do you mean dwagons driving?
DM: What are you guys here?
Aerendyl: I was navigating.
DM: It probably would be dragging, yeah.
Aragorn: I would ask my driver that driver.
Aragorn: Why are we here?
Aragorn: Uh, who’s driving?
Aragorn: Oh
Aragorn: I’m gonna point to aaron though.
Aerendyl: I’m the navigator.
Caitlyn: I assume you’re telling me where to go.
Aragorn: He is our navigator
Aerendyl: Yeah, but you don’t know- I would know, you wouldn’t!
Caitlyn: I assume you’re sitting in the GPS seat.
Caitlyn: This is my fucking force.
Aragorn: Yeah, so if we’re gonna ask the navigator
Aragorn: That’s like asking the pilot of a plane where he’s flying when the navigator is sitting right next to him
Shain: you
Aragorn: The pilot doesn’t know, the navigator does.
Aerendyl: We got lost on our way, carriage broke down, we had to get- we had to find this thing.
Aerendyl: My compass is a little shabby, uh, I can never, I can never get away from it.
Caitlyn: It’s compassed.
Shain: compass compass
Shain: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Aragorn: You’re welcome, guys.
Aragorn: You’re welcome, guys.
Aerendyl: But we found a road and we just kind of went on it, and now we’re here!
DM: Ah, well, given your strength, you must be from what, Gravehold, maybe even Breaker?
Aragorn: Who me?
Caitlyn: It’s gonna plague my campaign.
Caitlyn: It’s gonna plague this one too.
Aerendyl: Oh no, we’re both foreign.
DM: I assume you are all from the same place.
Aragorn: No, I reside in Judicar.
Aerendyl: Oh no.
Caitlyn: I reside here and there’s the.
Shain: Silence.
Aragorn: All of these people reside somewhere else.
Aerendyl: Yes.
Aerendyl: We like traveling.
Aerendyl: We’ve been all around the world.
Aragorn: We are nomads!
DM: Did they recently rename one of the villages?
Aragorn: Somewhat.
Aerendyl: oh no oh no oh no these guys are isolated they don’t know of the outside world
Aragorn: No.
DM: I’m not familiar with a judicar.
Aerendyl: My, my, it’s called the actual navigator.
Aragorn: Well, would you mind if you take a seat with me on this nice, conveniently tree stump?
Aragorn: Navigator, can I have the map, please?
DM: Sure, sure.
Caitlyn: End of the compass.
DM: Get out of the math.
Aragorn: Ah, thank you, thank you, thank you.
DM: Oh my gosh, I assume that you’re just taking the world map that you’ve got from multiple
Aragorn: Can I fucking murder you?
Aragorn: Yeah, so, so, so this, so this is where we were, right, and we went down this road to
DM: places over.
DM: Okay.
Aragorn: get here.
Aragorn: But from where I’m from, I’m from here, which is up.
Caitlyn: They’re stupid.
DM: He’s just kind of looking at it and says,
Shain: Thank you.
Aragorn: Oh, so basically, do you read at all, my friend?
DM: so how do you read this?
Caitlyn: They can’t be allowed to repopulate.
Caitlyn: We’d burn the place down and move on with
Caitlyn: third day.
Aerendyl: Bye.
DM: He says, yes I do!
DM: As he very confidently pulls out a book.
Aragorn: What language?
DM: This book has four pages on it, and it is a, he’s, absolutely, it’s my prized possession!
Aragorn: Do you mind if I read it?
Aragorn: Ah, I see, I will read the four-paged book.
Caitlyn: Picture book.
DM: This is a book, only in the strictest sense of the word.
Aragorn: Mm-hmm.
DM: It is a picture book, more like a pamphlet, with basic instructions on how to fight in hand-to-hand combat.
Aragorn: Ah!
Caitlyn: Ooh.
Aerendyl: Oh
Aragorn: Oh, I see you are a fan of hand-by-hand combat
DM: That is, uh, common sense here, really, where are you from?
Aragorn: I’m from up here
DM: Are you where that weird human was?
Aragorn: Which way there’s a lot of weird humans that we have
Caitlyn: Which one is it?
DM: Now that I think about it, this human, he had the same piece of paper, with the
Caitlyn: He’s dead.
Aerendyl: What does this weird human look like?
Aragorn: A lot of humans have it, actually.
DM: same weird drawings as this?
DM: I don’t know, it looked human-ish, but he said that he was
Aragorn: Do you?
DM: a map maker.
DM: I just presumed that that was a- that was a strong man.
Aragorn: Oh.
Shain: I
Aerendyl: Mentally, yes.
Aragorn: Well, sometimes not strong physically, but strong in the brain, and the brain is technically
DM: Ah!
Caitlyn: Andrew.
Caitlyn: Andrew.
Caitlyn: He’s dead.
Aragorn: a muscle.
Caitlyn: Andrew, he’s dead.
Aragorn: So he is strong.
DM: A magic caster!
Caitlyn: He was alive.
Aragorn: Oh, they are.
DM: Those are tricky!
Caitlyn: He’s dead.
DM: Well, he wanted to reach the end, so I sent him down to the next village, and I presume
Shain: Golf audibly
Aragorn: So where does this mapmaker reside?
Caitlyn: Good ground.
Aerendyl: If I may, where exactly are we?
DM: they sent him from there.
DM: If he’s as strong as you say he is, I’m sure he made it all the way to the Coliseum.
Aragorn: Yeah, you fucking die
DM: This is Crumpleton, the lowest-tiered village in the wonderful world.
Shain: Tier 5 village, guys, I got a tier 5 village in the map.
Aerendyl: What’s the name of this lovely village?
Aerendyl: Oh, crud.
Aerendyl: No, it’s tiered?
Caitlyn: My kingdom has five million power in rising kingdoms.
Aragorn: God I can’t wait
Aerendyl: There’s tiers to villages?
DM: It’s just, well, the towns, the villages don’t really have rankings per se, but we’re the,
Aragorn: Guys, we’re in the kingdom.
Aerendyl: It’s COVID!
Aragorn: No, no, no.
Aerendyl: No!
Aragorn: My kingdom has 5 million.
Aragorn: No!
Aragorn: Oh, buts, buts, buts, failures learn the most than victors.
Caitlyn: If we know.
DM: So, generally, Tier 1 and Tier 2, we’re the failures or the attempters in the Grand Bouts.
Aerendyl: You don’t strike me as a failure.
DM: The further villages…
Aerendyl: That is true.
Shain: So, this is the, this is the, this is the, this is the, this is the, this is the, this
DM: No, no, that’s our rank, you see.
Aragorn: Oh, but now he knows not to charge headfirst.
DM: Wait, the one you fought, he was an attempter!
DM: He won a single round of combat.
DM: He’s our village’s strongest.
Aerendyl: At least we hope.
Aragorn: You see, he learned how to not break a leg.
Aerendyl: Um.
DM: If you head to the next one, we have an even stronger one.
Aerendyl: That’s.
Aerendyl: Okay.
DM: It’s a bugbear named Vaan.
Aragorn: That piques my interest.
Shain: Oh, plotline hooked.
Aerendyl: Um,
DM: He was a lucky in the last grand bout.
Aragorn: Von the Bugbear?
DM: Yeah, I know.
Aragorn: How many battles has he won?
Aerendyl: Um, I have a question, sir.
Aragorn: Oh, where’s Nate?
Shain: You know you got him, Noah, by the- you know you got him with this.
DM: All right, uh, well, anyways, um, but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Shain: This plotline of, oh, we’re just fighting Tier Low City, a bunch of randoms show up.
Solvar: Dead.
Shain: They’ve become the greatest!
Aragorn: Telling that monkey to get back.
Aragorn: Hello, Mr. Monkey.
Aerendyl: So we’re in Crumbleton.
Aerendyl: I point to where Crumbleton is on the map.
Aerendyl: That’s where Crumbleton is.
Aerendyl: That’s the location on this map, at least.
Aerendyl: My question is, first of all, my question is, by any chance, do you have a blacksmith
Aragorn: I
Shain: These ones are fake.
Shain: Silence.
Aerendyl: in this town?
DM: The blacksmith?
Caitlyn: He forges wooden swords, oh.
Aerendyl: who forges metallic weapons?
DM: The weapon maker!
Aerendyl: Yes.
DM: No, unfortunately, the only one near here is St.
DM: George Bottom, but oh, gosh, is he a talented one.
Shain: I’m going to go ahead and run it again.
Aerendyl: George Bottom.
Aragorn: Meanwhile, the shriveled, starving person in the carriage…
Aerendyl: By any chance, what are your views on outsiders?
Aerendyl: Of course, because we’re travelers, we’ve never been here.
Aerendyl: If I were to visit George Bottom,
Shain: Oh, magic.
Aerendyl: would they turn us away or would they welcome us?
DM: ALL ARE WELCOME AS LONG AS YOU ARE STRONG!
Aerendyl: Luckily, we’re pretty talented fighters, I’d say.
DM: He kind of takes a moment and thinks, and says,
DM: Actually…
DM: Now that I think about it, isn’t our king from outside?
Shain: Filter waffle.
Aragorn: Who is your king?
DM: I think he is, isn’t he?
Aerendyl: Your team?
DM: Anyway, it’s…
Caitlyn: who your king is, who your dumb bitch.
Solvar: Bye-bye.
Caitlyn: All right.
Aerendyl: Yeah, who’s your ruler?
DM: King…
DM: Uh, what was his name?
DM: Oh, Jack!
DM: Spuvna!
Aerendyl: Never heard of him.
Aragorn: Kuvnar?
Aragorn: May I speak to this king?
Caitlyn: I’m dead.
DM: Yeah, no, I’m sorry.
DM: I just laughed a little bit.
DM: Sure, he lives in the Coliseum.
Aragorn: Cool!
Aragorn: What is the quickest way to the Coliseum, as I am a king myself?
Aerendyl: The Colosseum being over here, and I point to the map, over here, right?
Aragorn: Jason named his own village after him.
DM: He says, uh…
Aerendyl: It’s near this town called Jason?
DM: This is Disney or it’s a town called Jason.
Aerendyl: Wait, do you think all of these are named after people?
DM: You should ask Jason that.
DM: He’s really strong.
DM: You mean the one you just fought?
Aerendyl: Skullcrag?
Shain: You
Aerendyl: Pathetics!
Aragorn: So, so wait, so wait, my friend, my friend, what is the name, what is the name of your top challenger?
Caitlyn: .
Aerendyl: Yeah, so what’s his name?
Aragorn: Correct.
Aerendyl: Does he have a last name?
DM: His name is Raz.
Aerendyl: Oh, I see, okay, that does not make sense.
DM: Hey, what’s your last name again?
DM: Oh, right.
Shain: Bye-bye.
DM: Ice Roller.
Aragorn: I like to know the people’s… I like to… I like to know the people’s names who I battle.
DM: Why?
Aerendyl: No, we’re just curious!
Aerendyl: talented fighter.
Aerendyl: We must write down… Yeah.
Aerendyl: Yeah.
DM: Yes.
Aerendyl: For honor.
Aerendyl: And glory.
Aerendyl: Yes.
DM: Of course, of course.
DM: Well, it is getting kind of late here.
Aragorn: But anyways…
Aragorn: Oh no, we have plenty of friends in the carriage, in the carriage!
DM: I assume you guys have a place to stay.
DM: Oh, no, you don’t have friends, do you?
DM: You said that.
DM: Uh…
Shain: No, they’re all dead.
Aerendyl: We have… we… we’re good.
DM: If you…
Caitlyn: Oh my god.
DM: If you wanted, you could just go to that…
DM: Yeah, that house down there,
DM: challenge them to a duel,
DM: I just saw your strength, you will win,
DM: and then you get to their house for free.
Shain: Bye bye.
Aragorn: Where’s the closest bank?
Aerendyl: For free?
Caitlyn: No.
Aragorn: I’m channeling my inner Leipard.
Solvar: Nate, may I request something for your campaign?
DM: What is this?
Aragorn: Where’s the closest bank so I could challenge them for their money?
DM: What is this fake?
Solvar: Lifeheart has a request.
Solvar: Dammit.
DM: What is the steel word?
Caitlyn: Actually, kind of down low key, like what’s going to stop us?
Aerendyl: We can just, we can camp out here, it’s fine.
Solvar: I say we just steal somebody’s home, why not?
Aragorn: We have a couch that’s a transportable home
Aragorn: Stealing?
Aerendyl: Oh, are you not, are you?
Aragorn: No, do you not know what stealing?
Aerendyl: No, no, no, we should not, nope.
Aragorn: Oh, oh.
Aerendyl: No, we should not.
Aragorn: So, so, stealing, right, and I’ll show him, like, so I’ll stick my arm out, right?
DM: Oh, I understand, shall we steal everyone in the village?
Aragorn: And then I’ll do like this, and it’s like a handshake, like a fucking handshake.
Shain: Okay.
Aragorn: It’s like, that’s stealing.
Aragorn: Yes, yes you should.
Aragorn: Show them this handshake.
Aragorn: It is very important.
DM: Of course, okay, I understand, anyways, you need to rest, I can tell, go to that
Aragorn: It unifies people.
Aragorn: And
Aragorn: whenever someone comes down and says, we are here to steal, you stick your arm out and
Aragorn: accept their handshake of brotherhood and
Aerendyl: Thank you so much.
Aragorn: Then you fight them and then you fight them as all challengers do
DM: house there.
DM: They’re very weak.
Aragorn: Mm-hmm
DM: You can take their house.
Caitlyn: I think we should just take this guy’s house.
Aragorn: Curse
DM: And then tomorrow you
Aragorn: I keep your word for it.
DM: can go to George Bottom.
DM: There’s some very good challenges there.
DM: Absolutely, sir.
Aragorn: No, no, I would stake the other people’s house.
Aerendyl: Thank you very much sir, we will be on our way.
Aragorn: We will.
Aragorn: Might I
Aragorn: Should I steal a moment?
Aragorn: I’m gonna stick my arm out.
DM: Absolutely, sir!
Aragorn: Yeah!
Aragorn: Brother!
Aragorn: Oh yeah!
Aerendyl: I’m going to do it with my left hand, because I don’t want to scare him with my metal hand.
Aragorn: Oh!
Aragorn: Oh!
Aragorn: Strong people!
Aragorn: He has a metal arm!
Aragorn: You know, the things that make the sword?
Aerendyl: Why did you bring this up?
Aragorn: It’s made into his arm!
Shain: Wait, you repaired it?
DM: His arm is a weapon?
Aragorn: Yes.
Caitlyn: Why did you turn British with that, Andrew?
DM: You will make it very far.
DM: Oh, it’s so sharp, I can see it.
Aragorn: I know.
Aerendyl: Thank you.
Caitlyn: Who are you pointing at?
Aerendyl: And I just, I wave with the metal hand.
Aerendyl: Thank you.
Aerendyl: My leg is the one that’s rusted.
Aragorn: This one has a staff.
Aerendyl: My arm’s good.
Aragorn: This one has a staff that can breathe the fire of dragons.
Aragorn: And then this one is cool as fu- I’m pointing to Caitlyn, you, this one is cool as hell.
Shain: And I shoot weird magical spells.
Shain: Uh,
Caitlyn: Wait, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew,
Caitlyn: do you have your ceremonial blade on you?
Aragorn: We’re not power, we’re not full weapon controlling, the sword, he will blow a fuse.
Aerendyl: Yes, you’re right.
DM: At this point, the sun begins to set, and he starts to look a little concerned.
Aragorn: And then this one is magical, like the map maker!
Shain: I’m sorry.
Aragorn: Yes, what are you so worried about, if you don’t mind me asking?
DM: Yes, well, it really is getting late.
DM: We really should go ahead and go to sleep.
Caitlyn: You don’t seem worried about them.
DM: If he can’t be helped after the sunsets…
Aerendyl: I don’t want to find out.
Caitlyn: I do.
Aragorn: You know, it’s fair enough.
Aragorn: That is a fair rule.
Aragorn: I think we should go to bed.
Caitlyn: Uh, why?
Caitlyn: You don’t mind me asking?
Shain: You
DM: Why what?
Caitlyn: What?
DM: …
Caitlyn: What?
Caitlyn: Why?
Caitlyn: Why not?
Aragorn: Obviously they have a curfew.
Aragorn: They are challengers.
Aragorn: They fight every day.
Caitlyn: Vampires, there’s vampires, that’s what they are.
Shain: Daylight savings
Aerendyl: Are you talking about a succubus?
Aragorn: Oh
Aragorn: I’m gonna hear about the vitality suckers.
DM: I’m gonna say nothing, man.
Aragorn: All right
Aerendyl: Are these, like, citizens controlled under a vampire settlement?
Caitlyn: Oh my god, it’s a vampire.
Aragorn: Motherfuckers always trying to ice-skate a pill
Caitlyn: Oh my god, it’s vampiric villages.
DM: Oops.
Caitlyn: Oh my god, it’s vampiric
DM: Okay, so you’re just going up to the house and you’re knocking.
Caitlyn: villages oh my god
Aragorn: Motherf-
Aerendyl: I’m going to the house, and I’m challenging a motherfucker.
Aragorn: Motherfuckers always trying to ice skate a pill.
Aerendyl: I’m going to that house that he pointed at, and I’m challenging him.
Shain: Virgil.
Aerendyl: I’m like, yes, I want to challenge you for this property.
Aragorn: Hey, Butter, so, quick question.
DM: Yeah.
Aragorn: Can I become a black man with a fade and a long, thin sword?
Aerendyl: No.
DM: No.
Aragorn: Fuck!
DM: Dragon, as you’re knocking on the door, it opens with a gigantic female half-orc holding a large cleaver, and she says,
Aragorn: Mommy.
DM: I. Had.
Aerendyl: Can I, um, can I test something out and, uh, just, like, crank back my arm and just gun
DM: Just.
DM: Laid.
DM: Down.
Aragorn: Oh
DM: She kind of takes the sword and just immediately lunges it at you.
DM: But…
DM: She’s very weak.
DM: You’re just kind of…
DM: I don’t know.
DM: I assume you’re just going to attack her.
Caitlyn: What the fuck I said, crank that soldier boy!
Aerendyl: She gets up, she just sees me doing the Markiplier!
DM: you of course can oh what’s you do she just kind of kills over that was a pretty
Aragorn: Hello, everybody, my name is Markiplier.
DM: good one actually just kind of blood
DM: I can’t even speak to it.
Caitlyn: Hello, everyone, my name is Mark.
Aerendyl: As she’s like getting up, she sees the Markiplier!
DM: Do you do that?
Aerendyl: No, I can’t.
DM: You don’t want to?
Aerendyl: I will, I’ll go back for another chest slam.
Aragorn: Jesus Christ, are you killing this guy?
DM: Alright.
DM: As this woman, keep in mind it’s a female laugh work, is just
Caitlyn: So, my cellar for my home.
DM: Vespower is just plopped to the floor.
Aerendyl: Less power, by the way.
DM: She looks up and says,
DM: I guess y’all need the house?
Aerendyl: Yes, thank you very much.
Aerendyl: You’ll have it back by tomorrow, I swear.
DM: I’ll take the cellar.
DM: She just kind of turns and heads out the back door.
Shain: We are not good people.
Aragorn: Our first question!
DM: But she kind of peers into the room
DM: and grabs her presumably husband and child
Shain: Yeah.
Caitlyn: I
DM: they go out the back door into the cellar.
Aragorn: Yay!
Aerendyl: Get some sleep.
DM: But yeah, you guys still have a house!
DM: Congratulations!
Aragorn: Our first bastion
Aerendyl: I just beat the hell out of a mother of one.
Caitlyn: Well, I want it to be known
Caitlyn: I’m fully sitting planning on sitting outside with my flametongue like
Caitlyn: within reach of I can jump in the house if need be but I’m like I want to
Solvar: Bye-bye.
Caitlyn: basically gauge what we’re dealing with like is this gonna be a hundreds are
DM: Alright, do you actually want to talk about something or just idle to the chat talk?
Caitlyn: gonna start pour out there’s like two or three that I can handle that’s basically
Caitlyn: my thought process here
Aragorn: I wanna I want to stay I want to stay with Caitlin
Aerendyl: Someone knocks on the door.
Aerendyl: Let me in.
Aragorn: I want to sit and talk with Caitlyn
Aragorn: Hmm no, I’ll talk.
Caitlyn: I was fully planning on standing anyway.
Aragorn: I’ll talk.
Aragorn: Is there like a bench outside or is it just standing?
DM: You would just stand, it’s a very basic house.
Caitlyn: You’re gonna what?
Caitlyn: You’re gonna come on my lap?
Aragorn: I’ma like
Aragorn: Come on your left, I guess.
Aragorn: Sorry.
Aragorn: Compass has thrown-
Aragorn: Compass has thrown me off.
Aragorn: Anyways, um
Aragorn: Basically, I’m going to hand you- did I hand you the dagger before?
Aragorn: No.
Caitlyn: Dagger.
Caitlyn: Okay.
Aragorn: Okay, good.
Caitlyn: Be my queen.
Caitlyn: Sorry.
Aragorn: So,
DM: you
Caitlyn: Okay, be my queen, sorry.
Aragorn: I’m going to basically
Aragorn: basically, like, grabbing the blade and, like, handing it to you.
Aragorn: You have proven yourself, in terms of my standards.
Caitlyn: Are you sure you do not plan on having any offspring or anyone to pass it down to?
Aragorn: If something happens to me, in regards death, sickness, you are to be the next heir, if
Aragorn: if I do take the throne.
Aragorn: My family line dies with me.
Caitlyn: You do understand that I don’t plan on being here forever.
Aragorn: Indeed.
Caitlyn: I plan on going back to my own time and age when that does arrive.
Aragorn: But, if you ever don’t, or if I ever pass on too quickly, you are to find someone
Aragorn: just like how I did.
Caitlyn: Thank you.
Aragorn: And make them prove themselves, but don’t make it known.
Aragorn: It is better that
Aragorn: That someone proves themselves based off of what they are already doing, rather than having
Aragorn: something ahead of them.
Aragorn: I’m gonna go back inside
Caitlyn: I think Shane has proven himself.
Aragorn: Yep, yep, but I’m gonna say I’m gonna stand like right by the door necessarily just in
Caitlyn: I think we should trap Shane in this world for a little while.
Aerendyl: That’s a big fuck you
DM: So, Andrew, did you say you went back inside, or are you, okay, so, okay.
Aragorn: in case if something happens.
Caitlyn: Hang on, hang on, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up,
Aragorn: Yeah.
DM: As you’re standing outside and the sun finally sets, do you just kind of sit there for a
DM: while before, you kind of just see something out the corner of your eye, but whenever you
DM: turn, it seems to not be there?
DM: not sure you just pretty sure you saw movement just like to the side of you
DM: but whenever you turn there’s nothing there yeah yeah I can wait no worry
Caitlyn: up shut up 60 I know the I know the look for the next fucking however long I
DM: about
DM: Okay, uh, hang on one second, let me, a fiend is an evil outsider from one of the fiendish
Caitlyn: choose it to be celestial fiend or undead 60 feet of me locations
Caitlyn: my hypothesis about vampires is right this is specifically target vampires as
Caitlyn: well
DM: plains, upper and lower plains, and… Okay, so literally just basically a devil.
DM: Okay.
DM: That’s not what I meant to do at all.
DM: Anyways, you don’t really seem to sense anything
DM: as far as celestial being or undead, but then you could have sworn you sense an undead to the left
Caitlyn: Okay, okay, my flame tongue is on there is a like 10 foot radius of fire around me that
Aragorn: All right, let’s go to the Q&A.
DM: of you, but whenever you turn, it’s gone, and you don’t see anything.
Aerendyl: Let’s get going.
DM: Uh, Andrew, from the inside of the house, you don’t see anything wrong at all?
DM: Nothing seems out of the ordinary?
DM: You just see Caitlyn outside, just…
DM: Yes, yes, yes.
DM: Um…
Caitlyn: does okay I’m gonna tap I’m gonna tap the sword on the door and just kind of
DM: Yes.
Caitlyn: like get the fuck out of your shits up if Andrew’s right there at the door I’d
Aerendyl: Um, would I catch this too?
Aragorn: Yeah, yeah, I’m gonna head outside
Caitlyn: like get out of your shits up oh if if there is anything invisible within ten
Caitlyn: feet of me I have blindside I can see them does that should I don’t get it
DM: I’m
DM: Not what you can, that depends.
Aerendyl: I’m in the house.
DM: Would you have been curious about like watching Caitlin
DM: and her ex escapade outside?
Aerendyl: Well I would’ve just been like sitting, currently I’m just kinda just like working on the blueprints
Aerendyl: on my leg, but if I hear a tap on the glass, and Andrew literally getting up, going outside,
DM: Yeah, you would.
DM: I mean, you would have heard like the tap, but I mean,
DM: I mean, yeah, if you wouldn’t,
Aragorn: I mean, if you want to join, I’m not waking
Aerendyl: like yeah, I mean, we just got done with the conversation about fucking, don’t be out at
DM: if that would have set off any alarms or anything for you,
DM: But like I said, there’s not been any screams or anything.
Aragorn: you up.
Aragorn: Yeah, I’m going straight out.
Aerendyl: night time type shit yeah that would cause alarm I’d go out do I’m gonna go
DM: Okay, so are you going outside too
DM: or are you just standing outside the door
DM: kind of like watching them?
Aerendyl: outside too and I’m going to hide my sword in my cloak
Shain: you
DM: Okay, so for all of you,
Aragorn: I’m going to come out sort of drawn.
DM: It seems like something will show up at the corner of your vision, but whenever you turn to look, it’s gone.
DM: But, strangely, it doesn’t seem to be at the same spot for all of you.
Caitlyn: Hang on, hang on, hang on.
DM: Like, at some points, Andrew will be looking to the right, while the other two are looking to the left, and vice versa.
DM: Eventually, dragon.
Caitlyn: One million creature protection, okay.
Caitlyn: Sorry dragon, wouldn’t make as much sense.
Caitlyn: I’m gonna cast protect evil and good on Andrew or protection from evil and good on Andrew
Aerendyl: Yeah, I would not cast that on me.
Aerendyl: Oh, no.
Caitlyn: So Andrew
Caitlyn: anything
Caitlyn: aberrations celestials elementals fey fiends and undeads have disadvantage on attacking him and you can’t be charmed friend or possessed by them for the next 10 minutes or
DM: Okay, in that case, dragon.
Caitlyn: until my concentration breaks
DM: I’m going to need a strength saving throw.
Caitlyn: Yeah, if he’s within 10 feet of me, I don’t know where he is.
DM: Which should get a plus five, I think, from Nate, because all saving throws get plus five.
Solvar: I assume I’m just chilling with you.
DM: Yep.
DM: Yeah, you guys are basically brought all right outside the front door.
Caitlyn: Did you walk out the front door, Dwagon?
Caitlyn: Okay, so plus five.
Shain: You
Aerendyl: So, I’m just going to hope this saves, 24?
Caitlyn: So far, are you eating?
DM: Plus five, whatever you get, and then you have a plus one to your saving throw.
DM: I’m just gonna hope this saves.
DM: Yeah, it saves.
DM: But, Dragon, you’re pretty sure that what you see in front of you is similar to what
Aerendyl: I didn’t know if I should use a flash or genie!
DM: you’ve read about as what a wraith would look like.
Aragorn: RAPE, 2025, do you have knowledge of RAPE?
Aerendyl: Yeah, um, from my knowledge of wraiths, how bad are they?
Caitlyn: Rape?
DM: It seems like a floating kind of, there’s like a skull there, but it seems like almost
DM: transparent with a black cape that’s just flowing behind it.
Caitlyn: From Apex Legends?
DM: Yes, a wraith.
Solvar: Rape Nate?
DM: The rest of you don’t see that.
DM: No, a stinking fantasy wraith.
Caitlyn: I don’t know, right?
DM: Shut up.
Caitlyn: You know what they’re not impervious to?
Shain: I don’t know how to do that.
Aragorn: You have knowledge of right it’s pretty bad, bro
DM: Which you wouldn’t have much.
Aerendyl: How bad does it seem?
DM: From what you remember of wraiths,
DM: they are practically impervious to physical anything.
DM: They are, yeah, Shane, would you have gone outside as well?
Aerendyl: To be fair,
Aerendyl: I was about to say, if Shane also noticed me leaving,
Aerendyl: that could also pose issues if you wanted to come out here too, Shane.
Caitlyn: this divine smite.
Aerendyl: Shane, you don’t have to be locked in the house if you don’t want to.
Shain: I mean, yeah, probably.
Aragorn: This is your chance to kill yourself.
Aerendyl: You saw Andrew and me both leave.
Aerendyl: Um, I’m just gonna like say like kind of whisper and be like guys I think we’re dealing
DM: Okay, you’re, okay, so yeah, yeah, nothing would have changed it thus far, but Jack,
DM: you’re pretty sure that it’s a wraith, like I said.
Aragorn: A rape.
DM: Hang on, Paige, one second.
Aerendyl: So, I just get pretty fast Bears jumps there.
Caitlyn: That’s fine.
DM: Let me finish and then you can do it.
DM: But like the wraith kind of like appears
DM: to show up in front of you.
DM: You kind of like hear in the back of your mind
DM: kind of screaming before it just disappears
DM: from right in front of you.
DM: This goes for you as well, Shane.
DM: You’re also just seeing things in the corner of your eye,
Aerendyl: Well, you still don’t know, your character still doesn’t know it’s a Wraith.
DM: but don’t see anything.
DM: But you guys did not see the wraith appear in front of,
DM: in front of Dragon, just to be completely clear.
Caitlyn: Basically what I’m gonna do because I want to try something here is I don’t know if Wraiths are considered they’re considered undeads, right?
DM: Undead-ish.
Caitlyn: But I but I know I know it’s not I know it’s not dead now
Aerendyl: I was about to do that.
Caitlyn: I told you told me but what I put two and two together if it’s a teleporting undead or now I
DM: So, kind of.
Caitlyn: Have a theory but I’m not a hundred percent positive
DM: You would think that, okay, you’re detecting this undead and it seems to be moving
Caitlyn: Am I detecting only one?
DM: locations very rapidly.
DM: You would kind of have an idea.
DM: As far as you can tell, yes.
DM: But like I said, you can’t reliably rely on that information.
Aerendyl: Yep.
DM: And for the record, if it
Caitlyn: Very important question.
DM: is a wraith as you’re familiar with they don’t just kind of disappear when
DM: they’re when they’re moving.
Caitlyn: Very important question for Mr.Dwagon, we’re metagaming here.
Caitlyn: Are Wraiths intelligent creatures, yes or no?
DM: In this context, normally wraiths are base level of intelligence, yes, like
Caitlyn: Then I’m going to get out on a knee, I’m going to extinguish my sword, and I’m going to start
Solvar: Bye.
DM: enough for conversation generally.
DM: Of course this is, even you would know this,
DM: is not necessarily a normal rave, so you can’t really confidently say yes or no.
DM: Okay, um, let me look at this real quick.
Caitlyn: muttering in Undercommon, like, basically just calling it a bitch ass pussy and telling
Aragorn: For me, okay.
Caitlyn: it to come do something and I’m going to hold my action for something happens.
DM: Alrighty, Andrew.
Caitlyn: Basically I’m like, you don’t have the guts to come and even show your face to me, you’re
Caitlyn: just hiding, you’re a coward.
Aragorn: Oh, yeah, I do.
DM: I’m going to need a strength saving throw from you.
Caitlyn: Plus five.
DM: I mean, if you just want to make it really quick,
DM: just tell me if you roll over a three.
Aragorn: My modifier alone is higher than three.
DM: So very similar thing happens to you.
DM: You kind of turn your head
DM: and you just see this wraith in front of you.
DM: That’s kind of ethereal screaming
DM: from the back of your mind
DM: before it disappears in front of you.
Aragorn: Are we talking like ring wraith type wraith?
DM: like um more like think of uh oh what are those um those soul eater things from harry potter
Aragorn: Like from Lord of the Rings?
Caitlyn: Oh, dementor?
Aerendyl: Thank you for sharing with the class.
Caitlyn: Okay.
Aragorn: So yeah, so a Dementor, okay.
DM: a dementor it’s very similar kind of vibe to a dementor um
Caitlyn: You know, don’t just jump scare me.
Aragorn: God, I want to get sucked by one of them so bad, sorry.
Solvar: What?
Solvar: Yeah, that was, yeah.
Solvar: Mm-hmm.
Solvar: Yep.
Solvar: Yeah.
DM: that’s really cool thank you i assume that sylvar would
DM: have the sense of mind not to join them outside by the way i just assumed yeah
DM: So, finally, we get to you, Defense Attorney Ms.
Aerendyl: With disadvantage.
Caitlyn: Yes, come and do- I don’t want you to jump scare me, I want you to do some shit you dumb
DM: Moonsong.
DM: Please make a strength saving throw.
Caitlyn: Bitch and I’m holding my action so I can react.
Aragorn: I
Caitlyn: Okay.
Caitlyn: Do you really want me to butter?
DM: Tell me if you rolled greater than a nat 1.
Caitlyn: Okay, it’s a plus nine so
DM: I understand that, but basically with all of your buffs and everything, tell me if you
Caitlyn: 30 20 30 20
DM: get anything different than an AT-1.
DM: Thank you.
DM: Similar thing happens to you, you look for, you see this creature, you hear this ethereal
Aragorn: Know you fail
Caitlyn: you fucking you literally I’m going to keep going you bitch come and do
DM: screaming before it kind of fades away.
Aragorn: Good boy.
Shain: Unfortunately.
Caitlyn: something come and act show yourself do something do show your show your strength
DM: Now, Dragon, unfortunately we’re back to you.
Caitlyn: Oh, good boy.
DM: I’m going to need a strength saving throw at disadvantage.
Aerendyl: Uh, Dirty 20.
Solvar: Bye.
DM: Very similar situation, but this time you can hear this echoing scream louder as it
Shain: Yeah, I’m with dragon.
DM: kind of fills your head as you take two points of psychic damage.
DM: Um, uh, Shane Everon, strength saving throw, pretty please.
Caitlyn: I’m blurred.
Aerendyl: Remember, there’s a plus five, plus and me, I got another plus five.
Caitlyn: Shane’s outside?
DM: Yeah.
Shain: Let me get my d’s, my d’s, 20s.
DM: For you, you need.
DM: Oh, okay.
DM: So there’s a decent chance that you fail this even with a plus
Caitlyn: Well, it’s a plus five, doesn’t it?
DM: five from yeah, even with the plus five.
Caitlyn: I think he’s a genius.
Aragorn: If you’ve got a 13.
DM: If you choose to do it.
Aerendyl: Clash of Genius.
Caitlyn: Oh, why didn’t I do this?
Shain: Let’s see, strength saving throw.
Aerendyl: Oh, I’m fi- I can hear the roll, then say, right?
Shain: Okay, there’s nothing.
Aerendyl: That’s how that works?
Caitlyn: Hey, Butter, can I- I have a bonus action.
DM: I think so.
Shain: I got a 13.
Shain: 13 base.
DM: A 13 to 13 after the plus five or 13 base.
Caitlyn: Mr. Rutter, I have a bonus action of something I would like to do if possible that I meant
Aerendyl: So it’s an 18 with nay.
DM: That’s 18 with me.
DM: You want to utilize it.
Aerendyl: Yeah, 23 for flux.
DM: Alright.
DM: Phlox, you see basically the same thing again.
DM: Any questions?
DM: I’m sorry, did I just cut somebody off?
DM: What’s up?
Caitlyn: to do beforehand and forgot about.
Caitlyn: Channel Divinity.
Caitlyn: Wraith within 30 feet of me, I assume there’s multiple, every Wraith within 30 feet of me
DM: I’m sorry, hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, what is it again, I’m sorry?
Caitlyn: needs to make a Wisdom save, and if they fail, they cannot willingly move more than 30 feet
Caitlyn: away from me.
Caitlyn: They’re compelled to do battle against me specifically.
Caitlyn: Okay, every Wraith within 30 feet of me, or technically every creature within 30 feet
Caitlyn: of me, but I don’t care about these guys, needs to make a Wisdom saving throw.
Caitlyn: I’m compelling them to go to battle against me.
DM: Okay, that’s a wisdom saving throw.
Caitlyn: If they fail that save, they cannot move more than 30 feet away from it.
Shain: every single session.
Caitlyn: This butter rolls 20 dice for all the 20 races that are currently just stalking us.
DM: All right, give me one second.
Aragorn: That is true.
DM: I do not have enough dice, give me a second.
Caitlyn: Guys, guys, when do I do stupid shit and not have a plan in mind?
Aerendyl: Every session.
Caitlyn: Shut the fuck up.
DM: single session.
DM: All right, let’s see.
Aerendyl: We literally have the record.
Caitlyn: I’m cooking.
Caitlyn: Worst case, Sylvar and I literally have Nagasaki in our pocket lot.
Aerendyl: You’re burning something!
Shain: You won’t.
Caitlyn: The power of the sun.
DM: All right, is this?
DM: All righty, that’s gonna be, you know…
DM: Do you get to know how many failed?
Caitlyn: I don’t get to know anything, actually.
DM: Okay, all right, that’s not a problem.
Caitlyn: It doesn’t say specifically, at least.
DM: Okay, cool.
Caitlyn: I’m supposed to get, you bitch ass.
DM: So this is actually the worst possible
DM: thing that you could have done, so good for you.
Caitlyn: Oh, oh no, I’m still, keep in mind, I’m still, I have a reaction, I’m still waiting to see
Caitlyn: something actually meaningful happen.
DM: I’m going to need you to make three back-to-back
Caitlyn: Can I, checks?
DM: strength checks all at disadvantage.
Aerendyl: 20.
Caitlyn: Okay.
Caitlyn: Oh, it’s the same thing regardless, I don’t know why I, it’s not really a d12 for that,
DM: Strength saving throws, sorry.
DM: Okay, we’re upping it to 20, all right.
Caitlyn: Stop rolling the d12 for that.
Caitlyn: Alright, my first one is with disadvantage, my first one’s a 15, my second one’s a 17,
Aerendyl: I’m not doing that one.
DM: Okay, so we have a 17 and an 18, alright.
Caitlyn: my third.
Caitlyn: We have a 17, a 20, and an 18.
DM: So this time, you kind of see three of them appear.
DM: As two of them, kind of the echoing happens again.
DM: You take four points of psychic damage, by the way.
DM: Just from the ones that kind of disappear, just from the loud screaming you hear in your
DM: mind.
DM: However, the last one, you can kind of just see it as it stares at you and
Caitlyn: I saw the first two before the third one hit.
DM: you’re kind of locked eyes.
DM: You kind of try to move, I presume, in any way shape
DM: or form, but you kind of feel like you’re locked.
DM: Your muscles don’t seem to
DM: respond to you as you’re trying to move.
DM: Yes, I’ll let you do a reaction depending on what it is.
Caitlyn: I should be able to get a reaction off if I’ve been waiting for this to happen.
Caitlyn: Well, okay, so technically I’ve been holding my action prep for this entire time.
DM: Yes, but let me explain the situation.
Caitlyn: I can expend that as a reaction.
DM: Whenever you failed the strength save, which all happened at the same time, as I said,
DM: the three all appeared, you lose the ability to move.
DM: So as long as what you’re trying to do is not requiring the movement of your body, for
Caitlyn: I’m trying to, I’m trying, right now I’m trying to see if there’s anything I can do.
DM: example if it’s a feature or a spell that’s just verbal, you can totally do that.
DM: It depends on what you’re trying to do.
Shain: So they’re a disease.
Aragorn: So it’s racist.
Caitlyn: Does this count as a disease, or no, is this more of something else?
DM: This would be more of a racial feature.
Caitlyn: It’s fine.
Aerendyl: Why are you bringing race into this?
Shain: What?
Aragorn: It’s rapist.
Aerendyl: Oh!
Aragorn: the racist rapist
Caitlyn: What are the chances, and I would be willing to roll for this, what are the chances of
Caitlyn: me being able to do something as simple as, like, as I see the first two, just flick my
Caitlyn: wrists.
Caitlyn: Like, just like that, and then just get frozen.
DM: Um, like this?
Caitlyn: What are the chances?
DM: I would say you could do that.
Caitlyn: Like literally just.
Aerendyl: He summons the sun in the palm of his hand.
DM: You would, I mean, a thousand and one things
Shain: You
DM: could happen.
DM: You’d know something’s happening, so you could like just begin to do a movement.
DM: Like, yeah, you can totally do that.
DM: Okay, hang on one second as I need to look at daylight.
Caitlyn: OK, OK, cool.
Caitlyn: Daylight.
Caitlyn: A 60 foot a 60 foot radius sphere of light spreads out from a point you choose.
DM: So to make sure that…
DM: It’s literally just sun, fantastic.
DM: As you do that, the wraith that is kind of staring you down just burns and you hear this
Aragorn: Okay.
DM: ethereal scream different from before.
Caitlyn: Can I kill the other two?
DM: Before you heard them almost angry, this time it feels like it sounds like it’s in pain.
DM: As it echoes in your mind and literally the cloak as well catches on fire as the wraith
Aerendyl: We’re going back in.
DM: drops to the ground and burns.
DM: Congratulations, you just killed a Wraith.
Aragorn: Yeah, I’m going back there.
DM: You did not kill the other two, or any other for that matter.
Caitlyn: I’m going back in.
DM: But you did kill one of them.
DM: Now, all of you have now seen a Wraith.
DM: Are you sure you want to stay outside?
DM: That’s what I was trying to say, there’s not a corpse.
Caitlyn: I want to take its corpse inside too.
Caitlyn: I want to go ahead and cast, there’s a spell I want to cast on it.
DM: The entire thing burnt to a crisp.
Caitlyn: Oh, it’s just a pile of ash basically in the ground.
DM: Yeah.
DM: All right, then, so you’re just going inside to call it an afternoon?
Caitlyn: Moving on then.
Caitlyn: Yeah.
DM: As you kind of go inside, and you, of course, glance out the windows, some of you do, of
DM: regardless you’re gonna be like hey where’s the I saw them everything seems
Aerendyl: Sleep on floor.
DM: peaceful outside you don’t see any creatures nothing popping it out of
Aragorn: Okay, I love the dumb village idiots
DM: existence everything seems fine but you guys find a nice wonderful place to rest
DM: this is of course this place only has two bedrooms so you know we were
DM: employing the couch and the floor but you guys make do and you take a nice
Aerendyl: I LOVE THE DUMB VILLAGE.
DM: wonderful, long rest.
DM: And with that, we will end the session.
DM: Welcome to Cold Air.
DM: I’ve been wanting you guys to be here for so long.
DM: For the record,
DM: I was happy to just start here as the campaign.
Aragorn: God that would have been an interesting plot
Aerendyl: We would have never left.
Caitlyn: Hey, I got a question for you.
DM: But yeah, that’s what I was concerned about.
DM: Because everywhere else is so different that I didn’t think you’d like it.
DM: You’d either
DM: A, not leave, or B, not like the area.
DM: So I decided to risk it later.
Aragorn: Fair
Solvar: Yes.
Solvar: Correct.
Caitlyn: You’re a sorcerer, right?
Aragorn: You should say yes to this.
Solvar: Sure.
Solvar: Yeah, you know what, I do kind of have the Femboy build, so all right.
Caitlyn: So you don’t get like AC bonuses or things like that?
Caitlyn: Do you want to be a cross-dresser?
Aragorn: This is the opportunity to be what you’ve always wanted to be.
Aragorn: Yes.
Caitlyn: Do you want to be a femme-boy?
DM: Hey, you have the perfect freaking character build for it, not gonna lie.
Caitlyn: Would you like me to give you the dress?
Aragorn: Butter, let’s just say I’m cooking up a great backup character.
Caitlyn: We’ll give you the femme-boy belt and the femme-boy necklace.
Solvar: But…
Solvar: I mean…
Shain: I would know I have it.
Solvar: It got his point filled, so yeah, you know what, yeah, I’ll wear a dress.
Caitlyn: Go to be gay and do crime.
DM: Yeah, really, that is kind of the Fimboy build.
DM: Oh, good lord.
Caitlyn: He’s lying.
Caitlyn: Don’t listen.
DM: It would fit in here so well.
DM: Just for the record, just because it’s more fun that way, I just wanted to read off real quick the highest percentages of the population by race in Kuldera.
Solvar: Thank you very much.
DM: Coming in at 8% we have Half-Orcs.
DM: At 7% we’ve got Dragonborns.
Aerendyl: I’m doing something else.
DM: Then at 5% we have Goliaths, Centaurs, sorry, just Goliaths and Centaurs.
DM: At 3% we’ve got Bugbears, and at 2% we’ve got Minotaurs.
DM: Every other race culminates in the other 70%.
Shain: That was a good session.
DM: But that’s the top percentages of the population.
DM: This place is so friggin’ diverse, I’m so excited for you guys to be here!
Solvar: Oh, there it is.
Caitlyn: Drop, let’s just drop to red.
DM: Yeah, he’s just having a great time.
Caitlyn: Oh, God.
Aerendyl: Edward, Edward, Edward, Edward, Edward, Edward, Edward, Edward, Edward, Edward, Edward, Edward,
Shain: So your DM bot is still recording.
Caitlyn: Andrew’s in.