DM: Okay, welcome back to D&D.
Aerendyl: Fuck you, dmbot.
Aerendyl: Sorry.
Yinlare: Fuck you, future butter.
DM: Yeah, that’s fair.
Aragorn: Oh, back again.
DM: Let’s see, last time, you guys did a whole bunch of stuff, but it basically amounts to criminal hijinks. Okay, fine. Let’s see, the group, you guys discussed what happened last time, you returned to the inn, no not yet, that’s not what happened. You search the blacksmith’s shop, you find a ledger that said that he owed 112,000 gold to a guy named Ralph, with the total debt being around 200k. You did some more investigation, you found a single hidden dagger, on the base there was an inscription in small print that you couldn’t read. You did more investigation, you found a pouch with 400 gold exactly, you split it evenly, you guys then split up. Arendelle went back to the inn, while in there went to figure out the deaths. Whenever you went to visit Ralph, it was a warehouse guarded by multiple people. After some back-and-forth nonsense and straight-up lies, you basically find out that the organization was more of a democratically ran for-profit business. You didn’t like that very much so you just went to control and nobody really said anything about it. You walked out now being the mob boss, which is cool, and you decided to head to the next highest person on the list, which was the parents that lived about an hour away. Meanwhile, Mr. Arendelle got back to the inn. Basically, you gave her a hundred golds, which was half of the half that you found, and the bloodied ring, and it’s like, ha ha ha, he’s dead now! And then she goes, oh no! Not yet, hang on, I’m getting to it, geez.
Yinlare: I remember.
Aerendyl: No, I want the actual, like, recap.
Aragorn: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Aerendyl: Andrew’s here, he needs to know.
Shain: New line.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Yinlare: Thank you.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Yinlare: New
Aragorn: NO SPLAILERS! Oh You You You You Right They threw up but what is going on with your fucking screens wagon You threw your hands up and it’s fucking purple beam of light Whoa, I was like god damn Okay.
DM: Umm…
DM: Then basically a rude guy walks in, she tells you that he was probably in cahoots with her husband, and that’s all you had to hear as you went, followed him up to his room, tortured him, and basically said, I promise not to kill you if you tell me some information. And then, you know, he spilled the beans. Then you called up a wonderful friend in there and said, Hey, yo, come kill this man’s. So then in there finished his thing at the parents house, basically coming to the conclusion of if you kill their son, which you already did, then you he’ll sign over a house to you. So you got the house, which then you which when you got back to the end, you gave to the wife and then you went and killed the man. Lastly, Arendelle went to sleep, but Dien-Lar said, um, no, actually, you want to go frame the man for the murder of the guy that you guys just murdered in the in the apartment in the inn. Yeah. And wrote a note claiming that he ran away. I did want to ask, did you want to amend that? Because you did promise to kill him, but now you made him seem to be a fugitive on the run. Okay, I just wanted to check to make sure that everything was good with you before we moved on. True, true, true, but he was planning on getting paid from life insurance and generally that needs proof of death. Once again, it’s not like you gave any information so you should be fine but just thought I’d mention it.
Yinlare: New line.
Yinlare: New line.
Yinlare: New
Yinlare: line. New line.
Yinlare: New line.
Yinlare: New line. New line. New line. New line.
Aerendyl: I mean, we already gave them evidence.
Yinlare: New line.
Yinlare: New line.
Yinlare: New line.
Yinlare: New line. New line.
Aerendyl: Sure.
DM: Okay.
Aerendyl: But it can harass the owner.
Aerendyl: I would not trust them.
DM: I mean, you don’t really know. You really don’t. You kind of just walled up and took control. So maybe they were just chill dudes to begin with. Maybe they were all high on drugs.
Aerendyl: They’re kind of shit at their jobs.
Aerendyl: It’s amazing that they made it this far, you know?
Yinlare: New line. New line. New line. New line.
Aerendyl: They’re just jaywalking, that’s the type of crit of most they were. It’s like, shit man, I didn’t know.
DM: You don’t know.
Aerendyl: Uh, that.
DM: So purple.
Aerendyl: It’s because I have this set to my wallpaper. And my camera’s so shit, so. I have a question, though. Timeline-wise, have I had my long rest?
Yinlare: New line.
Yinlare: New line.
Yinlare: New line. New line. New line.
DM: That line, you have not had your long rest.
Yinlare: New line. New line.
Yinlare: New line.
Aerendyl: I needed that.
DM: Yes.
Yinlare: New line.
Aerendyl: What?
Aerendyl: It goes in this way, and just flies out that way. Man, ugh, I wake up. It’s nice to be back in radiator springs.
DM: Oh, my gosh.
Yinlare: New line. New line.
Aerendyl: I want you.
Aerendyl: So he knocked. We have the same room though. Technically, we have two rooms now. 63 and 9.
Yinlare: New line.
Aerendyl: Now, fuck you.
DM: Are you guys so rude to each other? Oh, my gosh. But it’s us.
Aerendyl: I’m in a corner bitch just floating.
Aerendyl: Ah, muchacho.
Yinlare: New line.
Aragorn: Why are you throwing up blood? Konichiwa starts throwing up gang signs.
Yinlare: New line. New line.
Aerendyl: Como estas?
Yinlare: New line.
Aerendyl: Biblioteca?
Aerendyl: Uh…
Aerendyl: Ano!
Aerendyl: Sureshibas!
Aragorn: You’re gonna harass my balls?
Aerendyl: Kawaii!
Aerendyl: Sorry.
Yinlare: New line.
Aerendyl: Kawaii desu!
DM: Thank you very much.
Aragorn: Oh, do I again remember? You take three points of physical damage, by the way. If you remember yesterday.
Aerendyl: Okay, anyways, back to the actual…
Aerendyl: the game.
Yinlare: New line.
Yinlare: New line.
Aerendyl: Ah, you’re right.
Aerendyl: He’s right.
DM: Yep.
Aerendyl: Yeah, I remember yesterday.
Yinlare: New line.
Aerendyl: Ah…
Aragorn: Oh shit.
Aerendyl: Then again, that was before I slept.
Yinlare: New line. New line.
Aerendyl: No, it wasn’t.
Aerendyl: It was, so I did get my log rest. Fuck you! Alright, anyways, back to the real game.
Aragorn: Fuck.
DM: Thank you very much.
Aerendyl: What are you saying, Nate?
Aerendyl: Your character?
Aerendyl: What are you doing?
Aerendyl: Oh, is that today? Anyways, I guess I’ll meet you down there. I do want to ask the receptionist lady one last question, do you mind?
Yinlare: I assume they’re going to want some credentials or information. So I’ll go ahead and get that over with. I say, I own crime.
Aerendyl: And if we’re somehow wanted by the police, I say we run and hide.
Aerendyl: I am crime.
Yinlare: Why can’t I own the cops too?
Yinlare: I am crime.
Aerendyl: The name is Mr. Criminal.
Yinlare: I am sure that they won’t have any problems with us. If they do, well, that’s going to be their problem. I’m sure we can do any violence through speech before we actually get down to killing them, but um…
Aerendyl: My hand turns into the cannon form.
Aerendyl: Sorry.
Aerendyl: I mean, worse comes worse, I can just give him a hand.
Yinlare: If I shot an arrow shot at Dwagon right now, would he peek at- hey Dwagon, if I just kind of pull out my bow and just like shotgun you point blank, would that consider- would you be surprised that I did that? Would you be- would you be surprised? Is that- is that a yes? You would be considered surprised?
Aerendyl: Cinema.
Aerendyl: Cinema.
Aerendyl: No, because I’m used to betrayal for my fellow elves. Also known as your your last last character. 52.
Aerendyl: Yeah, you would.
Aerendyl: Poor bitch slut. Sorry.
Aerendyl: No.
Aerendyl: My AC is fuck you. But are you allowed that? You allowed that. Butter, he said, I want to break your campaign. You said, sure.
DM: Yeah. No, no, no, that’s not what happened. It’s not like he asked for special powers. Something I said okay to something. He just showed up with his character sheet.
Yinlare: It’s legal.
Yinlare: Wait.
Yinlare: You know what?
Yinlare: We changed everything.
Aerendyl: Are you being dead ass?
Yinlare: The inlier’s not leaving.
Yinlare: I need to stay here for at least two levels so I can get action surge.
DM: Okay.
Yinlare: No.
Aerendyl: Fuck!
Yinlare: Do I get, if I got action surge, my first turn I would make 7 attacks on a single target. I would do over 700 damage. Putters just in shock. 7.
Aerendyl: Dude!
Aragorn: Thousand.
Aerendyl: Yeah, you wouldn’t.
DM: How many attacks?
Aerendyl: No, you wouldn’t.
Aerendyl: Anyways.
Aerendyl: Uh…
DM: That means you’re attacking faster than once per second. That’s absurd. Funnily enough, yes, she is. However, she’s currently talking with about three other men. One of them seems to be relatively fine dressed. The other two seem to be servants of some kind. You guys have been walking out at the same time, so I just assume that you guys are kind of together at this point in time. Are you going to interrupt or are you just going to stand there and listen?
Yinlare: It does.
Yinlare: It also means that in order to see if they hit, I would roll the weight for it. 15 dice. Wait, if I hit two more levels, that’s level 4 rogue. That means that not only does my sneak attack go up, but I can get a feat, which means I can get lucky, which allows me to roll 30 dice in a single round.
Aerendyl: Fuck me.
Aerendyl: Alright.
Aerendyl: I’m going downstairs. If possible, butter. Is the receptionist lady there?
Aerendyl: Oh, she is. Okay, I’m gonna wait for them.
Yinlare: Wait, what?
Yinlare: If I would have seen this, I probably wouldn’t have left, because if they don’t look like they belong.
Yinlare: Oh, okay, yeah.
Aerendyl: Uh…
Aerendyl: Hi!
Aerendyl: Okay.
Aerendyl: Uh, I’m gonna, I’m gonna like, walk past them, go to a corner, and just like, act like I’m not doing anything and eavesdrop.
Yinlare: Wait, Butter, what’s their passive perception? Can they beat my passive stealth?
DM: Let me check.
Yinlare: No.
DM: No!
DM: How absurd! As DM and god of this world, can I ask you not to? Okay. Okay. Well, as you do that, and they obviously don’t detect you, your passive stealth is like 34, okay? Oh, okay. Well, that’s actually not that bad. That means that he would have to roll… Yeah, he doesn’t notice you with a natural three. Can somebody please get me a new die? Please do, please do, please do.
Yinlare: I want to go hit the receptionist bell. The fuck a ring for service bell?
Yinlare: Sure.
Yinlare: I’m just going to get as close as I can and see how long it takes them to notice me. Like breathing down, like heavy breathing down the back of the guy’s neck. Like how long does it take him to notice me standing here? Oh, my passive self is 20 actually. Okay.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Aerendyl: Butter, how about this?
Aerendyl: I’ll roll for you.
DM: You know what?
DM: Hey, hey, one of the servants. Alright, yeah, okay, go ahead and roll. Yeah, maybe, maybe it’s time for it to redeem itself.
Aerendyl: Okay, I’m going to use the jail dice. The dice that are in jail.
Yinlare: Not.
Aerendyl: Seventeen.
DM: Seventeen?
DM: It’s only a nineteen.
Aerendyl: What about the other server?
DM: No, there’s a chance.
Aerendyl: Seven.
DM: Yeah, so you’re just standing there, nobody detects you, you’re good. Finally, I can thwart his powers.
Aragorn: Thousand.
Aerendyl: Butter.
Yinlare: It’s over 9,000.
Aerendyl: You should have seen the eyes that butter had when I said 17 years. Butter, just tell me when you want me to roll a d20.
Aragorn: No.
Yinlare: Yeah, you know, I recognize. I I the eye of Agamotto Oh Yeah, I gave her a fucking house, dude You Wait, do I get has a metal arm armed and dangerous Ill-equipped and safe Like it have you seen the fucking summer citizen Ill-equipped and safe no more You Dude and I’m a hundred percent buying this You know the you remember how I said there was the the like I Think you corrected me when I said goth, but the fucking are the punks in for magic. This is MVP animation That’s so fucking hard It’s punk it’s it’s like the punk is what it is You You You You You Yes, he did yes, she did wait No, she did say that Oh buddy Yeah, if he royally fucks this up, I’m I I know that she didn’t do I need to make a straight check if I know Wait, didn’t she tell me? What was the context behind that? I swear to God she was talking to me when she said it. I swear to God when it was brought up. I’m, I’m, dude, I’m still just standing here in the middle of this. I’m about to butt in. No, he had that stupid fucking grin on his face, dude. I swear to God, she was talking to me that I don’t remember the whole thing.
Aragorn: But you didn’t hear the thousand at the end.
DM: Thank you.
Aragorn: Ah.
Aerendyl: I got you.
Aragorn: The eye of the immortal.
Aerendyl: The eye of Nick.
DM: Thank you.
Aerendyl: Okay.
DM: Okay!
DM: Anyways, as you are standing there listening to this conversation, you kind of jump in midway through. Well, this is certainly a nice establishment here. We could definitely do 14 if that’s acceptable to you. Uh, I mean, yeah. She kind of thinks for a moment and says, Well, if you could bump it up to 15-5, I think we can call it an afternoon. Sure, I think we can do that. As he kind of turns around and begins talking with his, you know, servants or whatever, the lady notices you, Arendelle, standing in the corner. Because, obviously, she doesn’t notice frickin’ invisible man. Did I forget your name? You.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Aragorn: The eye of the immortal.
Aerendyl: Mm hmm.
Aerendyl: Mm hmm.
Aragorn: The eye of the immortal.
Aerendyl: You know, that’s a really good question.
Aerendyl: I don’t think you ever did.
DM: Nice to meet you.
Aerendyl: The name is Arendelle.
Aerendyl: And all you don’t fuck it handshake firm with the metal hand that she’s probably never seen.
DM: She goes.
DM: She goes in for the handshake, pauses for just a split second, realizes it would be rude not to shake your hand as you are essentially her savior, and gives you a nice shake. I’m going downstairs, let me know when you guys are done.
Aragorn: The eye
Aerendyl: Okay.
Aerendyl: Me when I’m fisting my wife.
Aerendyl: Oh, submissive and readable.
Aragorn: of the immortal. No more!
Aragorn: No more!
Aragorn: No more! pagan!
Aragorn: pagan!
Aerendyl: Yeah, I have. I have.
Aragorn: No more!
Aerendyl: I can’t.
DM: I’m going downstairs.
Aerendyl: Dude.
Aragorn: So here’s the thing.
Aerendyl: Tonight is just going to be a night of me just spamming. So here’s the thing. Butter’s gone.
Aragorn: What?
Aerendyl: I can do this now.
Aragorn: What?
DM: I’m going downstairs.
Aragorn: Find what?
Aerendyl: So good and tasty.
Aragorn: Well, uh, yeah.
Aerendyl: Okay.
DM: Sorry, are we ready to resume?
Aragorn: Yeah, it’s not goth, it’s simply emo. Well, it’s modern day goth, I guess.
Aerendyl: I believe so.
DM: Okie dokie.
Aerendyl: All right.
Aerendyl: Um, are you selling this fine establishment?
DM: Yeah, uh, after some thought, I decided it’s probably best to take advantage of the, um, take advantage of the situation and go ahead and get out of here. She says, well, don’t let me keep you for too long. I’m going to be stuck here doing paperwork for a good portion of the day. He is kind of off to the side talking with his people.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Aerendyl: It’s probably just perfect this. I just look at you in there. I told you she winked.
Aerendyl: Is the rich is the rich guy still there?
Aerendyl: Okay.
Aerendyl: I’m gonna pull out the dagger that I got from the floorboard.
DM: Okay.
Aerendyl: And I’m…
Aerendyl: what?
DM: No, take the house back!
Aerendyl: And I just wanna… I’m just gonna pull it out and be like, does this have any meaning to you?
Aerendyl: It was…
DM: Um, I don’t, I don’t believe so. It doesn’t seem…
Aerendyl: I just found it randomly.
Aerendyl: What about the little…
DM: I, I’ve never owned a knife like this. I, I’m not sure, honestly. Oh, um, I honestly don’t know. I can only read common. That’s certainly not common. Maybe take it to a priest or something?
Aerendyl: there was writing on it, wasn’t there?
Aerendyl: No, I’m thinking of somebody else.
DM: Somebody who knows more?
DM: You want to make a history check for that?
Aerendyl: I could’ve swore… didn’t she say she couldn’t read?
Aerendyl: I fucking do! Because I don’t know!
DM: You want to make a history check for that?
Aerendyl: I don’t know what’s happening here!
Aerendyl: Luckily, I got lucky. No, no, no, no, no, I got this, I got this. Lucky. 28. I’m tweaking right now because, because I was expecting butter to just be like, Oh yeah, no, yeah, she can’t read. And then I’m like, wait a second. He’s not taken aback by this, which means there’s something going on. I’m just gonna, I’m just gonna give her like a weird little face and be like, I thought you couldn’t read.
DM: Yeah, she did in fact tell you that she could not read previously. I can look directly back at the transcript to make sure.
DM: That’s so weird.
DM: Okay.
DM: I can’t seem to find it. If I remember I think it was I don’t remember exactly what the context was at this point, but, but she did say that. I don’t know if you’ll need it, but sure. I think you, you, you must be mistaken. I don’t remember saying that. Okay. Sure, go ahead and, uh, that’d be inside.
Aerendyl: Were you lying to me?
Aerendyl: I’m pretty sure pretty sure you told me and I quote. I’m I don’t actually say that kills my husband for me out loud by the way. I got you butter. She was not rolling her d20. I’m just gonna, I’m just gonna lean in and be… I’m gonna lean in and be like…
Yinlare: Insight
Yinlare: check whatever the fuck comes out of her mouth next. I don’t even know the answer.
Aragorn: Thank you very much.
Yinlare: Insight check. No, no, I want to insight check here, butter. I want to see if there is any like, not necessarily malicious but if there is something she is trying to actively hide from us. Like even if it’s not malicious in nature, just if there’s any kind of information that she is hiding. Or if it was just coming from an original place of distrust originally, because she didn’t know who you were.
Aragorn: Thank you very much.
Aragorn: you New line.
Yinlare: No.
DM: Okay.
DM: Gosh, 23.
DM: Do you ever roll low? Just for funsies, let’s see what she rolls.
Yinlare: The thing is with me is I make almost all of my shit with advantage and my stats are ridiculously high, I have a plus six in insight. And when I do roll with advantage, I roll two dice because of how that accuracy. And that’s on four. She doesn’t appear to be purposefully hiding something?
DM: You know what?
DM: Never mind, I forgot I wasn’t rolling my die. You go and roll. Roll a d20 dragon. Okay, well, she did seem- she does seem to be purposefully hiding something. She- she does seem to be hiding something. Whether it’s out of distrust or malicious purposes or something, you’re not sure.
Yinlare: I don’t know.
Aerendyl: Blink twice if you’re in danger.
Yinlare: See blank No, I think I’m gonna do here. I think if you don’t mind, I’m gonna like, very much I guess it wouldn’t even be I’m going to appear because I’m not like actively trying to hide myself is just that high. I want to put my hand on Aaron deals shoulder and kind of pull him back a little bit and just yank him across the room. No, I just want I just want to pull them like three four inches back and just very much like audibly enough for him to hear or for her to hear just if you’d like to make your way over to the guards post or if you’d like to stand back you and I know how I am with um persuading bits of information and I would like to know why she indeed lied to us.
DM: Um, I don’t know what you mean.
Aerendyl: So you’re not in…
DM: She- she- she did not blink twice. Not in the- Get over here, boy.
Aerendyl: She’s not in danger. I’m just gonna say this out loud. So you’re not in danger. You’re lying to me. You’re hiding something.
Aerendyl: What’s next?
Aerendyl: Thank you.
Aerendyl: Thank you.
Aerendyl: What was it?
Yinlare: Do you mind if I take it from here? Oh, we quite are. It’s not a look kind of thing. But, indeed, I just don’t take, I don’t take to liars and I’d like to know if there’s any other information we should be.
Aerendyl: It’s not a harmless lie.
Aerendyl: I mean, she could have just said, I can’t read because she didn’t want to like, you know, talk to us.
DM: Vibe check?
Aerendyl: I mean, look at us.
Aerendyl: We look like we’re scary individuals.
Aerendyl: I have a soft spot. It’s a harmless lie vibe check.
Aerendyl: Was it a harmless lie?
Aerendyl: Is it just a blank D20 or was it a religion?
DM: Go and roll. It’s religion. 23. The vibes are good, so it doesn’t seem like it was a malicious or that she’s- A vibe check isn’t going to tell you if she’s thinking it’s not going to actively harm you.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Aerendyl: 23.
Yinlare: It’s not, but it doesn’t feel malicious in nature.
Aerendyl: It’s not malicious.
Aerendyl: It’s just a kind little jab.
Yinlare: But, information is information. I won’t do anything I did to our other friends, but I would like at least a bit of information. I gave her a house, I don’t want her dead. Yes, but also there’s people over there, and I don’t want to make a scene here, especially when I’m going to go deal with the city guard for money. So yes, even if it’s my own interest, it’s hard.
Aerendyl: Still, I’m just, I’m just going to lean in.
Aerendyl: Don’t lay a hand on her.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Aerendyl: Yes, but I know how you can get like, don’t fucking lie to me. I heard that from the other room.
DM: …
Aerendyl: That is true.
DM: As you guys, as you guys are discussing, suddenly in your pockets you hear a kind of ringing coming from your orb of zooms, because, uh, I thought it was funny. The zoom call. I said the orb of zoom. Because zooms to you both have one. So there’s two orb of zooms. Orb of Microsoft Teams.
Yinlare: Why is it called that? Oh, it’s a zoom.
Aerendyl: It’s a zoom call.
Aerendyl: It’s the orb of zoom.
Yinlare: I’m going to kill myself.
Aerendyl: The fact that you just got that is sad. I don’t know why he’s saying zooms. I named it the orb of zoom.
Yinlare: Well, you say zooms. I’m thinking like zoomies like Isn’t it that good? The orb of Microsoft Teams Yeah Wait, how loud is this? Oh My god, I don’t care blanket Oh You You You I’m just gonna just like um like immediately just kind of slow turn the air down like Um, do we leave a response back?
Aragorn: The orb of zooms. The orb of zooms.
Aerendyl: You said zooms.
Aerendyl: You even said that last time. Oh, yes.
Aragorn: The orb of zooms.
Aerendyl: Yes, sir.
Aerendyl: Yes, sir.
Aerendyl: Okay, I’m just gonna be like, What’s a car?
DM: As there is no answer button, by the way, they just immediately start broadcasting. My brain is fish right now.
Aragorn: The orb of zooms.
DM: It’s like I’m catching a brand new car.
Aragorn: The orb of zooms.
DM: What’s that?
DM: I don’t know what that is.
DM: It’s a mobile.
Aerendyl: A carriage?
DM: Oh, gotcha.
DM: But basically what we were saying, or what I was calling, is we’re okay, sort of, for now.
DM: We’re terrible!
DM: Well, we could be doing better. We had gold, we don’t anymore.
DM: Well, I don’t anymore.
DM: Sorry.
DM: He’s a free loader!
DM: I’m not trying to be a free loader, I just spent my money on some cool stuff and now I’m realizing that I probably should’ve saved some. But, you know, you can forgive me, right?
DM: Maybe.
DM: Okay.
DM: Anyways, we were just basically saying, we’re alright. I guess I’ll see you guys soon. I don’t really know where we’re going to meet up. I don’t even know if you guys are halfway done with your business. We haven’t even begun to start ours, realistically.
Aragorn: The orb of zooms.
DM: Yeah, we’re delaying it. They’ve waited two decades. They can wait four more days.
DM: Maybe a week.
Aragorn: The orb of zooms. You Thank you very much Thank you very much. Thank you very much.
DM: So, Great omni-ing it, as people say.
Aerendyl: You know, I think I say we let it let it simmer.
DM: Yeah, you can say that.
DM: I don’t know what that term comes from. But anyways, we’re fine. Everything’s good. I’m gonna have to update you guys because there’s too much to explain. I don’t know if we lost recording or not on this. I don’t even know if it’s still on. I hope this is gonna send. If it doesn’t, I’m sorry. Anyways, Arendelle, don’t do anything stupid. I don’t think you’d do anything stupid, Arendelle. I didn’t mean it like that.
DM: I’m just, whatever.
DM: Have a good
DM: day. Very stupid things.
DM: I’ve done very stupid things. Oh yeah, there’s this witch.
DM: You know what?
DM: No, we’re not even gonna get into it.
DM: I killed a cat.
DM: Have a good rest of your day.
Yinlare: Do we just kind of let it be? Um, that was quite an interesting I think it means exactly what he said. I believe he most likely killed a cat. I just don’t… You’ve been with him longer than I have.
Aerendyl: Think about what we’re going to send back. What does Aragorn mean?
Aerendyl: He killed a cat.
DM: Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.
Aerendyl: But why would he kill a cat?
Aerendyl: Was it on purpose?
Aerendyl: That’s a good question.
Yinlare: Why would I know?
Yinlare: It works, actually.
Aerendyl: He probably did it on purpose.
Aerendyl: That cat probably was a bastard.
Yinlare: You’ve turned your orb off, right? It’s not actively transmitting or anything like that. I’m sure they’ll think nothing of it. Maybe put that thing away. If it works and has contact with our compatriots then for the time being I’m not super worried about it, however, back to the business at hand. It would be a good deal, but if I’m getting a pardon then that’s not going to necessarily stop what comes next.
Aerendyl: Oh shit!
Aerendyl: Oh shit!
DM: Oh my gosh.
Aerendyl: Dude!
Aerendyl: You’re probably right.
Aerendyl: To be honest, this is not what I designed it for, but I’m kind of enjoying it.
DM: Oh my
Aerendyl: I’m not sure
Aerendyl: what I’m going to do. I’m not sure what I’m going to do.
Aerendyl: I’m
Aerendyl: not sure what I’m going to do. It would be great to get a pardon though.
Aerendyl: Just saying.
Aerendyl: I’m just going to back up and be like…
Yinlare: And I’m just I’m just gonna kind of turn to the woman and kind of like both hands on the desk Can I help? Butter, does she have her back turned to me? Do you think she would be considered surprised if, say, a quarterstaff got javelin-watched from Havely?
DM: gosh. When you go to turn to the woman you notice that she has walked away and is now talking once again to the businessman. She stopped caring partway through your phone call. Are you digging the stinking front desk? She kind of turns, interrupting her conversation, by the way, and says, I can’t help you right now.
Aerendyl: Ha!
Aerendyl: That’s very disrespectful. That is very disrespectful. I’m just going to grab his hand from that last ding.
Aerendyl: Duh.
DM: I’m sorry.
Aragorn: I think God itself would say, no, not today.
Aerendyl: No.
DM: I think Zeus will strike you down.
Yinlare: All right, well, I’m not going to attempt to push this any further. It’s just not worth my time. I am going to focus on the money that is waiting for me. You’re welcome to join me if you’d like.
Aerendyl: Nah, I win.
Aerendyl: You talking to me?
Yinlare: Yes.
Aerendyl: Oh.
DM: That was a crazy sentence.
Yinlare: I’m just going to gesture the empty desk.
Aragorn: New line.
Yinlare: No, I’m talking to the woman right here, quite nice to come and talk to me.
Aerendyl: Oh.
Yinlare: I’m just going to turn and walk out.
Aerendyl: But the woman’s over there.
Aerendyl: I’m just pulling your leg, Yinler, I’m sorry.
Yinlare: Yes, at least I have both of mine.
Aerendyl: I know, I know, you have an anger management issue. You know, Yinler, these aren’t battle scars.
Yinlare: Sorry, I’m sorry.
Yinlare: A little bit. I’m going to get my money now.
Aerendyl: I fought for our country.
Aerendyl: That is not funny. No, no, not even a little bit.
Aerendyl: Go hide in a bush or something.
DM: Okay.
Aerendyl: It’s 50-50, right?
Yinlare: Where is the…
Aerendyl: I’m coming with you.
Aerendyl: Please, don’t leave me.
Yinlare: Where’s the tower?
Yinlare: Where’s the guard post?
DM: Okay.
DM: You’re going to the tower, uh, the guards tower that you were at previously, is that right?
Aerendyl: We’re gonna swindle them. You do that every session, by the way. You say that every session. I’m pretty sure you said last session that you gave me the biggest shit eating grin you’ve ever produced which means this session, you’ve it’s even better yes, yes, that shit fucking yes, yes the mask with Jim Carrey alrighty oh boy hahahahaha it’s gonna get bad now hahahahaha hahahahaha to claim bounties hahahahaha I’m just following in there which makes it just seem like I’m leading myself.
Yinlare: Yes.
DM: Okay.
Yinlare: I’m going to turn to Dwagon to give him the most shit-eating grin I’ve ever produced in my life.
DM: When you, um… Okay. You came to do it, actually. You’re progressively getting more and more closer to stinking that guy from the greatest real estate developer.
Yinlare: Nah.
Yinlare: I do not say that every session. It’s even better.
Yinlare: It’s even better.
Yinlare: No, I’m doing the fucking, um, oh my god, have y’all seen the fucking, um, the mask? Yeah, the fucking, the fucking big ass smile.
DM: Oh, my gosh.
Yinlare: Fucking smoking!
Yinlare: Anyway.
Yinlare: Alrighty then!
DM: It’s literally just just this.
DM: It’s literally just this.
Shain: Screencast singularities theory.
Yinlare: Can we go get paid now?
DM: Oh, you just missed it.
Shain: Hmm.
Shain: What?
Shain: Oh, did I just miss it or was it a while ago? What’s happening?
Yinlare: Can we go get paid?
DM: You guys are going to get paid. Okay. Heading there. They’re currently heading to the guards tower to claim bounties that they turned in the night before. Basically, the amount of money that they didn’t have on hand, so they said to come back. Alright, well, uh, as you arrive to the guard tower, it’s basically exactly what you would expect. There’s two guards posted out front, a door to the inner area, presumably more guards are in there. Are you gonna talk first, or what’s going on? Okay, well, can you please roll me a good die? You’re not able to open the door just fine and walk in. However, they stop you, Arendelle. And this…
Yinlare: Can we get my money?
Yinlare: Can we go get paid?
Yinlare: Yes!
Yinlare: We’re going to get paid.
Yinlare: That’s what the people say these days.
Shain: Hmm.
Yinlare: Come on, bring me my money.
Shain: Ah, I see.
Yinlare: Okay, I open the door and walk in. I’m opening the door and walking in. He’s with me. I’m immediately taking one more step into the room.
Shain: Want me to, want me to.
Aerendyl: Eleven.
Aerendyl: Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Aerendyl: Is this racially motivated? We were told to come here to pick up our prize.
DM: What?
DM: You can’t go in either.
DM: What’s your business here?
DM: Hey!
Shain: The city’s had it.
Yinlare: I turned in a lot of bounties last night.
Yinlare: I’ve come here for my large payment. I was promised, at minimum, like 20,000 gold pieces. Just kind of trying to weigh the waters here.
DM: I don’t…
Aerendyl: Bounties.
DM: I don’t understand.
Yinlare: I turned in a whole bunch of people, no, excuse me, no, no. He was promoted.
DM: Price for what? Bar incident? I heard about that, yes. Sherman’s been promoted for that. Well, he single-handedly found and apprehended a whole bar full of criminals. I know exactly what you’re referring to.
Aerendyl: Criminals.
Aerendyl: Remember that bar incident yesterday? Yeah, we were like…
Shain: Thank you.
Aerendyl: Yes!
Aerendyl: And he promises payment.
Yinlare: What for?
Aerendyl: Oh, so he’s lying!
Yinlare: Where is he?
Shain: Okay, thank you.
Aerendyl: Just slow zoom in.
Yinlare: Oh my God.
Aerendyl: What?
Yinlare: Oh my God.
Yinlare: Yes.
Yinlare: The fucking no butter. It’s the fucking, um, oh my God.
Aerendyl: What?
Yinlare: What?
DM: What?
Yinlare: They killed me when I put that tumor in her head and what?
DM: He’ll wait up for the consumer in your room.
DM: What?
DM: So what was your question? Well, this morning when the brass woke up, they promoted him and brought him, I’m not exactly sure. They’re not here anymore. I think he’s been promoted to a different tower or possibly a different position altogether.
Yinlare: Where is he?
Yinlare: I’d like to have a little conversation with him. We’re good friends. How difficult would it be for you to say find out?
Aerendyl: Good!
Shain: Thank you.
DM: I’m not sure.
DM: Look, I’ve got another 8 hours on my shift. It is not worth it. I’m going to have to ask you not to do that again. Sir, you are aware that threatening a public official is a crime, right?
Yinlare: I am gonna, I’m gonna like if he says the second he goes look, I’m gonna do like the one like I’m gonna take one finger like my pointer finger just press it to his lips.
Aerendyl: That’s enough time to find him. You seem to be getting a little excited down there.
Yinlare: Shh, dear boy.
Shain: Thank you.
Yinlare: I’m going to have to ask you to.
Yinlare: Okay.
Aerendyl: Johnny!
Yinlare: Well, you have eight hours left on your shift. Unless you want those eight hours to be quite eventful. Let’s speed up the pace. Where can I find him?
Aerendyl: …
Shain: Thank you.
Aragorn: Oh, that’s all right. Oh.
Yinlare: Okay, Ender.
Yinlare: I can bring back my mocking hand.
Aerendyl: …
Aerendyl: Hey!
Aragorn: Oh.
Shain: So this is the opposite of our sessions, I see.
Aerendyl: You took the reason, and you threw it away. And now you have us.
Yinlare: Okay, um.
Shain: Oh.
DM: Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to turn around, please.
Aerendyl: …
Aerendyl: Ooh, submissive!
DM: You two.
Aerendyl: What, me too?
Yinlare: Oh, I said he was with me.
DM: Both of you are under arrest. Oh, oh, no. I was going to show him when I went to his house. I mean, I’d like to show him. Do you want to see flux? Kind of, but I also really want to get your. Yeah.
Shain: What?
Aerendyl: Oh, stop it!
Yinlare: What?
Aerendyl: I didn’t know you liked to get rough with me! I am no longer affiliated with this man!
Yinlare: Why did you turn fucking German, bro? Fucking, Oh my god, that’s what I need to go and name my new criminal syndicate the Nazis.
Shain: OK.
Yinlare: Yes.
Yinlare: I’m starting a new I’m starting a new room That’s not frightening at all I was gonna show him whenever I was at his home No, it’s a banger you gotta show him it’s a banger You We gotta be a sir making no, please don’t turn my joke into a marketable plushie All right plushies Oh My god, oh my god wait butter you got a sidebar with me.
Shain: But when.
Aerendyl: Who gave him
Aerendyl: twitter?!
Aerendyl: I was just gonna show it to him when I get to his house. He 3D printed six of them. The house is just gonna look like Jaden Smith’s hat.
Shain: Oh.
Shain: What do you.
Shain: What is this the thing you wanted to keep a secret?
Shain: Opinion.
Shain: OK, then go for it.
Shain: What do you mean?
Shain: What?
Shain: What?
Shain: What is that?
DM: So many.
DM: Okay.
Shain: Andrew, you and me did this, and ironically, it was it was so dumb in the moment, but now it’s beautiful.
Yinlare: Okay.
Yinlare: I have a live a line of products strung up Okay, you don’t like pillow pets Where it’s like the no It’s like a crow and then a house and you gotta pull the crow out of the house to flip the book I have a line of marketable plushies lined up for this. It’s a business Oh my god, we could write a new cat in the hat book the crow in the house The crow outside the house, yeah All right, dragon Look, look, look, I’m gonna start writing a I’m gonna start writing the novel dragon I need you to come up with like three or four slurs that I can use for crows Wrong, there is a fucking wild one.
Shain: No.
Shain: You know what?
Shain: Oh Lord.
Aerendyl: Hahahaha!
Aerendyl: Crow in the hoe. It’s a book about segregation.
DM: The crow outside the house actually because, as we’ve established, crows do not go inside.
Shain: Yeah, of course.
Aragorn: That’s why they’re called the Jim Crow law.
Shain: It’s going to be.
Aerendyl: Hahahaha!
Aerendyl: Hahahaha!
Aerendyl: Cronker.
Aerendyl: Hahahaha!
DM: That was already taken. Okay.
Yinlare: Rigor. Okay, man.
Aerendyl: Darkies. The only good part about Demon Slayer.
Aragorn: Roper.
Aragorn: Kroger.
Yinlare: Nice.
Aragorn: Peter. You got any weapons that are going to stick and poke me? My penis. Okay. Okay.
Yinlare: Okay, anyway, we’re gonna… I think me and Dragon were getting arrested.
Aerendyl: Hahahaha!
DM: Where are we?
Aerendyl: We’re getting arrested.
DM: Oh, right. You two are supposed to be arrested right now, but let’s see how that goes, as he has now asked you both to turn around. I am trying to cuff and arrest both of you. Please, both of you turn around. Sir, depriving an officer is also against the law. It’s still bribery. Sir, any compensation of any form, including monetary, is bribery. I mean, I could take you to the watch, Commander.
Aerendyl: Put cuffs on me, officer!
Yinlare: You might actually want to cuff him, I don’t know.
Aerendyl: Ooooh!
Aerendyl: Put cuffs on me!
Aerendyl: Ooooh!
Aerendyl: I am clinically depressed!
Aerendyl: Ooooh!
Yinlare: He might be. No, I do have an idea. Here’s my…
Aerendyl: You in there?
Aerendyl: Is he talking about a threesome?
Aerendyl: Hahahaha!
Shain: What is this?
Yinlare: I have a proposition for you, sir.
Yinlare: Me and my associate here will go with you 100% willingly.
Aerendyl: …
Yinlare: However, I request that the person who brings us in, quote unquote, you can take us to him if you’d like before you put us away, is the person who got promoted, your boss or whatever.
Aerendyl: Get in there, get in there, get in there, get in there.
Yinlare: Seems fair to me.
Yinlare: We’ll go with you, we won’t fight back, I’ll put my hands behind my back and everything.
Yinlare: Shut up.
Aerendyl: I can do this the easy way. I’m just gonna, I’m gonna, I’m gonna ease up to the guard and be like, If you take us to him, I’ll give you a hundred gold pieces, and I jingle my bag.
Yinlare: Nope, nope.
Yinlare: Nope.
Yinlare: Nope.
Yinlare: Nope.
Aerendyl: Trust me, trust me, trust me.
Yinlare: That’s the ignore him that’s that’s no that’s five that’s driving It’s still burning it’s still an item It’s Does that seem fair to you, sir?
Aerendyl: Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Aerendyl: They’re chocolate gold coins.
Aerendyl: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Aerendyl: It’s not bribing, it’s a sweet!
Shain: Yeah, it is.
Aerendyl: Wow.
Aerendyl: It’s not compensation, and it’s not monetary. Also, you don’t have proof that I said this.
Yinlare: Take us to your boss, your leader? You wouldn’t even have to deal with us after that. You’re welcome to cuff us, we’ll stay here and then fucking whatever else comes there. Is that the man who got promoted?
Aerendyl: Is it him?
Shain: Mm hmm.
Shain: Mm hmm.
Yinlare: Or does he at least know?
DM: I can’t guarantee it.
Yinlare: Because I’d like to have a conversation with him before I go to prison for the rest of my days. Okay, I will. I will go ahead and do that. Join with him. I’m just going to kind of turn and do it and do it in behind him.
Aerendyl: Oh, so we’re free to go then. I just start turning around. Did he put his hands on me?
DM: You’re not going to prison for the rest of your days. You haven’t done anything of serious crime. Max is a 30 day sentence. No, no, no, no. 30 day sentence or fine. No, he didn’t touch you just yet. He kind of reaches into his back pocket and he pulls out the rope and he says, now please, this for the final time, turn around. It’s for that exact reason why we do it from behind.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Aerendyl: Knee fireball, third level.
Shain: Mm hmm.
Aerendyl: Does it have to be behind or can I do it in front? I really like looking at my hands. Oh, so you want to do it from the back.
Shain: Mm hmm.
Yinlare: Okay, I knew that was coming. God damn it.
DM: Please turn around.
Aerendyl: Got you.
DM: The moment I said what I said, I knew you were going to say something. I mean, you could go ahead and make the check, but the guy’s role will be whenever go to do it, so then he is both to.
Shain: It was already over before you even said it.
Aerendyl: It was a trick. You played into my hand.
Yinlare: Hey.
Yinlare: But I want to attempt something. I want to attempt something that would require a sleight of hand check, but I don’t want to do it yet, and I want to keep my banger idea to myself. Is it possible that I preemptively make the sleight of hand check against whatever there would be for like a, you know, like seeing it? And then I can do it when that time arises. It would be a contested perception check if that makes you feel any better.
Shain: Literally.
Aerendyl: Literally.
Shain: Mm hmm.
Aerendyl: New line.
Yinlare: Okay.
DM: I mean, sure, I guess. So, hey, it’s just just have you both turned around?
Yinlare: Okay.
Yinlare: Do I think you might need to do 20.
Yinlare: Okay.
Shain: Mm hmm.
Yinlare: Yeah, I’m trying to put my head on the mic.
Aerendyl: What?
DM: All right.
DM: Okay.
DM: All right.
DM: Are you Mr. Mr. ones who are Aaron down? Turn around, please. Just get you in cuffs.
Yinlare: Don’t please go along with it.
Aerendyl: Please let me talk, man. You’re not even giving me my room space.
Aerendyl: Officer, can you please say please?
Aerendyl: Do you mean it?
Shain: Mm hmm.
Yinlare: It’s weird.
Aerendyl: I’m sorry.
DM: Fine.
DM: Please turn around. Deeply, as he ties, as he ties the rope around both of you, and he says, Alrighty, now do you have any weapons or anything that’s gonna cause problems on you? Dagger, not surprised.
Aerendyl: I’m sorry.
Aerendyl: I’m sorry.
Aerendyl: I apologize deeply.
Aerendyl: Can I turn around? I heard that. Naughty, naughty.
Yinlare: I have.
Aerendyl: Let me think.
Shain: Jack Sparrow.
Aerendyl: I have a dagger in my back left pocket. I have a dagger in my back right pocket. Whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t touch me take me to dinner first No Yes, it is glued to my body. I cannot take Let’s take it off. Well, not necessarily.
DM: Alright.
Shain: Mm hmm.
DM: And um, this. Another dagger, okay.
Yinlare: I have my.
DM: Can I just patch you down?
DM: I think I should probably just patch you down.
DM: Come here.
DM: Let’s see if anything else is on you or not. Okay, I don’t even care. By the way, is this the prosthetic that you have on? I notice your hand is… There’s no point in doing this, but roll deception.
Shain: Hey, when you get here, I’m going to give you my other blue dye that has been treating me well.
Yinlare: I have my.
DM: There’s no point.
DM: You already succeeded. I rolled on that one.
Aerendyl: I rolled a 12.
Aerendyl: Oh, well, I got an 11, so I still win. Okay, how do we not know butter is just cursed? Butter, hear me out. Put the dice tray on the other desk and roll. Well, that doesn’t count. You already rolled. But you’re getting better rolls, right?
DM: I think I am.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: No, no.
DM: I have so many sets of dice, even with quadruple. Quadruple advantage. The highest I rolled was a seven. Oh my gosh, I didn’t even think about that. I didn’t even.
Yinlare: I have my.
Shain: The other desk proceeds to look for Yeah.
DM: Hang on, hang on, hang on.
DM: Okay, okay, we got a 12.
DM: Of course!
DM: I’m just.
DM: Oh my gosh, and a 16.
DM: Okay, I just have to roll over there.
Yinlare: I have my.
DM: Just gotta roll over there, man. Just gravity doesn’t work quite right there. Um, anyways, um. Uh, okay, interesting, but. Oh, it isn’t.
Aerendyl: It’s good.
Aerendyl: They’re glued to my hands, I can’t take them off.
Aerendyl: I seared them and drilled them into my bones.
Yinlare: I have my. If it’s you are welcome to go ahead and take the just take the quarterstaffs just leave the quiver. There’s no bow. I can’t just hide a bow. You mind if I hang on to this?
DM: Alrighty, and mister, I think it’s your name.
Aerendyl: Me?
DM: What was your name, sir?
DM: No, talking to you.
DM: In there.
DM: Do you have any weapons or anything illegal on your possession?
DM: Okay.
DM: Well, as per regulation, I have to take them and put them in this bag of holding. You’ll get it back whenever you’re released.
Aerendyl: Are you single, Mr. Gard?
DM: Yeah, sure, sure.
Yinlare: I’m happy to turn in my quarterstaffs.
DM: I’ll just take the quarter sass.
DM: It should be fine anyway, this is just for… Just for regulation purposes.
Yinlare: I completely understand. My friend has also forgotten to mention this, we do have a newly single friend of ours. We could introduce.
DM: Why are you offering?
Aerendyl: Well, I mean, you seem to be very forward with us.
Shain: Oh, down bad.
DM: Look, I’m not, I’m not up for grading right now, I was just, I was just stood up the other night. Okay.
Aerendyl: We do.
Shain: What’s Do their art.
Aerendyl: I could introduce you to her.
Aerendyl: She can’t read, though.
Yinlare: That’s true.
Aerendyl: By who?
Aerendyl: Who would dare stand up a hunk like you? I’m not flirting.
Yinlare: Stop flirting with the guard, please.
DM: Why are you flirting with the card, man?
DM: You’re not even a bard!
Aerendyl: See, I’m not flirting with him.
Yinlare: Whoa, too chill.
DM: …
Aerendyl: I’m getting his hopes up so I can crush him.
DM: Okay then. As he kind of just ignores your statement and kind of guides you guys into the tower. He kind of walks you around, brings you upstairs. Finally, he enters a room. Watch commander, these two have requested an audience with you before I take them into holding. The A… No, he is not. Whenever you enter, it is a dark-skinned halfling that kind of gets up. How racist can you get in this game, man?
Aerendyl: How rude.
Yinlare: Okay.
Aerendyl: Is the, is the commander of the same guy? He’s not. So, he ran the fuck away.
Yinlare: Okay.
Yinlare: Good people.
Yinlare: Sorry.
Yinlare: It could get so much worse better. Don’t don’t push it.
DM: I know I can.
DM: I know I can. Anyways, he says…
Yinlare: I completely understand. Me and my associates the other night spoke with your… whoever was in charge last night, actually. The one who apparently did the whole bar incident and single-handedly turned in all of those rogues. He was an old friend of mine. I was wondering if there was an opportunity. This one here wasn’t really able to tell us where he is currently. If there was a way we could go and see him, or even if we… Where could I find him? Happy to wait out in a holding cell and see him whenever we get out. But I’d just like to know where he’s located. Where is the headquarters? Where can that be found? Because obviously it’s not just another tower like this one.
DM: Alright, what do you want?
DM: I’m very busy.
DM: Yes, now Lieutenant Sherman.
DM: What about it?
DM: He was just promoted. I think they took him back to headquarters. I think he asked for a cushy desk job.
DM: Of course he would.
DM: Oh, no, no, I apologize. It’s headquarters in Snowvale. No, you guys are currently in Comcast. You’re still in the port city. Snowvale was their capital. I don’t believe so. I think they were planning on leaving. Well, if they’re on schedule, they should be leaving right about now. I’m not entirely sure. I wasn’t privy to the transporter routes.
Yinlare: We’re not in Snowville?
Yinlare: No.
Yinlare: Um, no.
Yinlare: And they haven’t quite left yet. I know that you can’t leave. You can’t get that far overnight.
Yinlare: Is there some way I could maybe see him before they leave?
Yinlare: Where are they?
Yinlare: Where are they heading from at least?
Yinlare: I’m actually looking for travel myself after we get out of here. Do you have any idea where they would be leaving from? That’s true. If only there was a way around that.
Aerendyl: Hey, butter.
DM: Probably one of the guard towers?
DM: I’m not entirely sure. I don’t see how this matters anyway, as you are currently going to be held. Yeah, yeah, okay.
Yinlare: Hey, butter, you remember that check I made? Right, right. I’ll tell you what I rolled.
DM: Hang on.
Aerendyl: Hey, butter.
DM: Hang on.
DM: No, no, no.
DM: My dice.
DM: My dice are good.
DM: Hang on.
DM: Oh, there’s a chance.
Yinlare: Natural 20, 24.
DM: All right, what’d you roll?
Aerendyl: Hey, butter.
DM: Yeah, he doesn’t notice anything.
Yinlare: Awesome.
DM: What’s your game plan?
Yinlare: I want to do the magician, the magician like handcuff trick, where I just pull my hands out from behind my back and the guard to my left is like handcuffed by his back. I literally just want to do like the dramatic flourish, rip my hands forward, no rope and the guy behind me is just like, what the fuck is just like, you’re not, huh? That’s so frightening, bro.
Aerendyl: Also, as soon as he says those specific words, can I take off my hand and then just like put it back on? And I’m just like putting back on my hand. How many images do you have? Well, that guy’s just a real estate developer. He’s the greatest. I am Autism Prime. Let’s continue with this ad-gun. No, no, I’m not that dumb.
DM: Darn it, why do I keep doing that?
DM: There you go.
DM: That, that, that’s how I feel right now. He’s just a real estate developer, man. Okay, so just to make sure I understand, we have the magician that goes, oh, if only there was somewhere around that. All right, let’s continue with this situation. Are you actually about to try to shoot the Watch Commander?
Yinlare: I just want to wrap the fucking handcuffs or the rope or whatever around the guy who brought us in. Just fucking one dramatic flourish. Huzzah.
DM: Okay.
DM: I needed clarification because sometimes you do stupid stuff.
Aerendyl: Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Aerendyl: It’s cuz we’re in a stupid town that allows it. And as he does that, I’m gonna go grab my two daggers back and just be like…
DM: Thank you very much.
DM: Alright, look.
DM: Congratulations, you’re no longer in ropes. But what’s your game plan here? You’re in the center of the tower. You have to go down these stairs, and there’s about a hundred guards in this tower.
Aerendyl: Yay!
Yinlare: I could just kind of like. I mean, I probably like. You can’t even see me that well right now.
Aerendyl: You know. You can’t let it do the thing! He disappeared without a trace.
Aerendyl: Just poof.
Aerendyl: finished.
Aerendyl: Well, how about this? I go to the… I just said, hey, word it.
Yinlare: Sure.
DM: No.
Aerendyl: Look at me!
Aerendyl: Now- Now look at him.
Yinlare: Oh my God.
Aerendyl: Gone.
Aerendyl: What’s that behind you? Warden watch out!
Yinlare: What’s that behind you?
Yinlare: No, hang on.
Yinlare: I got to drop one fucking. Hang on.
Yinlare: I got to go.
Yinlare: I got to go from what?
Yinlare: No.
Yinlare: You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to do fucking one bar to the next. I want to kind of if I got his daggers back, can I get my quarterstabs back? Is that too much to do in one motion? I know, but the guy. OK, I’m. Well, I’m going to. OK, if he’s over there, I’m just going to if I was successfully able to transfer the rope, I’m just going to go and grab the bat you’re holding. I’m going to pull my quarter staff out of it and put on my back. I’m going to try to look at him.
DM: No.
Aerendyl: He’s sitting down. He’s also a halfling. What’s he gonna do down there?
DM: That’s a bit to do in one motion, yeah. You probably could, yeah. Sure, just give me a flat d20, let’s see what we get. Okay, yeah, you’re good.
Yinlare: So here’s what’s going to happen, because I know that like you kind of are probably a little bit more focused on your job here or, you know, you’re wanting to keep your job than anything else.
Yinlare: So are the are the normal guards considered commoners? Like if I just swung my metal staff with as much force as humanly possible, I’d just knock him the fuck out. Not the halfling, the other guy. You want to check for it? What kind of check?
Aerendyl: I have a question.
Yinlare: 17.
Yinlare: Oh.
Aerendyl: Is this the warden’s a halfling? Is his desk also like half on the ground? Or is he in the booster seat? Would it be possible for me to go to the seat and click the button to make it go down?
Yinlare: Or is he in like a… Dude, this one’s got the same fucking pasting beat.
DM: No, he has a very tall chair. He’s in the booster seat of a chair. This is not a modern chair.
Yinlare: It’s just a wooden chair.
Aerendyl: Can I just chop off parts of the world?
DM: It’s just a wooden stick on four legs.
Yinlare: No, no, we don’t want him to be violent with us. If you swing a sword at him… Wait, you gotta play kernurgy wizard fabricate. Yeah So yeah, butter, I’m able to just straight up just knock the guy out Yeah, um, can I look towards dragon?
DM: It is, it is moments like this that I am so thankful that you are not a wizard with stick and fabricate.
Aerendyl: That’s my next character, thank you, butter. I’m gonna be an asshole. You are gonna hate me. More than you already do.
DM: You’re welcome.
Shain: I mean, it takes 10 minutes to pass.
DM: Okay, I’m sorry, are you knocking up the guy that brought you in here or the okay? Hey, what’s your passive perception? Well, you guys don’t notice this until it finally happens as the room, starting from the wonderful Mr. Halfling Guy, begins to just have a layer of ice spread across the floor, freezing the floor, the walls, and the door. This would be probably right after. So you’re now invisible standing on ice, so pretty darn obvious where you are. Not really, there’s like a bit of like mist, you know, whenever ice normally appears, so it’s gonna be very obvious where you are.
Aerendyl: Well, yes.
Yinlare: Um, I don’t know you can kind of vanish from side, right? Do you want to do that?
Aerendyl: Yes.
Aerendyl: I mean, what if we take him hostage? You’re right, we’re in the middle of a rush.
Yinlare: Get out here?
Yinlare: I don’t want to take hostages that we need to go like now Um, I gotta do like the, hang on, I gotta keep aura farming here. I need the fucking, um, it’s the scene from Megamind at the start of the movie when he gets the watch and turns into the warden and just. My passive perception?
Aerendyl: Invisibility.
Aerendyl: I don’t even know my passive perception. I think it’s low though. Where do I check?
Shain: It’s a little number under perception. It’s a tiny one. It should be 10 plus your level or your proficiency.
Yinlare: Shit.
Yinlare: I think, uh, sixteen.
Yinlare: Actually, don’t take it a bonus, because I’m a Ranger.
Aerendyl: Oh, 13. Is this before or after I cast an invisibility?
Yinlare: It stinks, buddy.
Yinlare: Come on.
Yinlare: Like, I’m just gonna… I mean, how high is he on his back? Like, is he just… Well, that’s what I’m trying to think about. Like, how tall is the chair? Like, is he like, is it like a super big chair? Like, is he overcompensating and can see over the desk, or just…
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Can I sneak up behind him?
Aerendyl: I drop down. He’s a halfling. He can’t look down much. I crawl. He’s pretty damn tall right now.
DM: Yes.
Aerendyl: And Butter didn’t think of this!
Aerendyl: Yeah, Butter, I drop down and I slowly crawl. I can do a stealth check if you want. Did I successfully crawl behind him? So, just like this.
DM: Yeah, that that that that should work.
Yinlare: Come on, like, do we…
DM: Don’t make a check.
DM: You just do it.
Yinlare: Is this, is all these theatrics really necessary?
DM: Did you really think I would just let you walk out of a guard’s tower?
Yinlare: I mean, we didn’t really do anything wrong.
DM: Really?
DM: Well, let’s see.
Shain: Okay.
DM: We have assaulting an officer, speaking to an officer under false pretenses.
Yinlare: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, false pretenses.
DM: Huh.
Yinlare: I did not fly.
DM: You are not a friend of Mr. Sherman. Of that I am positive. Yes, you dead.
Yinlare: What the fuck is that?
Yinlare: Oh, shit. Um, play the dark souls backstab noise. Do not jump so badly for us.
Shain: Okay.
DM: Oogley boogley.
Aerendyl: Um. Chair.
Yinlare: If you just jump in.
Yinlare: Oh my god, if I can lift him, lift him up to where we can see eye to eye, please. I lift him up like two inches. I vote for the, yeah, I vote for the let’s not make it.
DM: Here, you guys sit like here.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Butter, is it eye to eye, or is there a little bit of…
Aerendyl: I’m gonna lift him up to three inches.
DM: I want to ask for a strength check, but I think it’d be more fun if you were just able to do it.
Aerendyl: He’s a halfling, he can’t weigh that much.
DM: No, no, but he’s overcompensating with pure wood for his chair. Like he’s overcompensating.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Oh, true.
Aerendyl: But I got a bionic arm and a bionic leg. He’s, hey, whoa, he’s the one who double-crossed us. Well, now that we can see I die.
DM: Yeah, you’re fine.
Yinlare: Okay.
Yinlare: Well, now that we can see eye to eye on things.
DM: Oh, I’m sorry.
Yinlare: Um, look, I’m going to take the court.
Shain: Wasn’t he just chilling?
DM: I’m sorry.
DM: I know you’re not a bard, but you just used vicious mockery. He’s still alive.
Yinlare: I take the quarter staff and just kind of like poke the guys he’s still alive. I didn’t just kill him right. See, look, your friend is still alive.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Ha ha.
DM: You’re good.
Yinlare: If I really wanted him dead, I would have him dead. If I really wanted you dead, I would have you dead. Look, you and I actually don’t have any real problems. The only problems I have is with your some bitch of a boss, the man who quote unquote took down the whole bar. That’s who my problem is correctly with. And if it makes you feel any better, I don’t want him dead either. But him and I do need to have a little conversation about the legitimacy of his claims. You have a wife, kids. You have a family. Do you do them? Excellent. Thank you for proving my point. Look, I really don’t want to go into the whole and all that kind of jazz. How about this? I’ll make you a deal. You know the criminal underbrush that’s currently running under your city, that whole little organization that meets up and does things and meets up and yes, all of that. Yes, I am quite aware. Um, let’s see. And meets up and does very criminal activities. I can’t think of anything off the top of my head because I’m brain rotted as fuck.
Shain: Okay.
DM: We’re not some common Thugs we maintain law and order you have violated battle That is not of your concern Excuse me You The organization that meets up and meets up You There are numerous organizations yes, we are where You Of course if you pay the appropriate fine You Well, unfortunately, you knocked out the bunker do you know what he had on you for why he brought you in here You Okay, that would be a fine of approximately five 750 gold for assaulting an officer You You’re not the brightest are you you can’t just leave at this point you have assaulted an officer Hey For what purpose what do you gain? I’m regretting that And you stop that please Look Even if I gave you the false assurance that you could just leave The rooms that the room is frozen over the moment you try and open those doors. You’ll be flooded with guards What are you?
Aerendyl: Oh, you just hear behind him. Yeah, he’s a halfling. Of course he doesn’t.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Yeah, he’s a halfling.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: You know, nevermind.
Yinlare: I probably shouldn’t tell you that. Um, let’s move on to kind of point number two here. I really don’t want to have to threaten you. But I really do need to kind of find this guy like right. I probably should have found him about 10 minutes ago. Is there any possible way that we can resort to no violence, I won’t cause any problems or any injuries or deaths to any more of your guards and we could just walk out. Without. What’s the guards post and he called him hot and sexy and he got mad. Yeah, look, I’m gonna be honest, I’m not gonna pay that. I meant to be like, we walk out right now, period, and there’s no other after effects that occur. Because I’m not paying that fine. No, no, no.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Yeah, he’s a halfling.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Um, because we walked in and called him a hot man. But he was getting excited.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Butter?
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Butter?
Yinlare: Oh my God, and you can go ahead and add murder of an officer to my list if you don’t get it.
Aerendyl: Butter can I start wiggling the chair? I gain satisfaction from the halfling going. But you said it yourself. It’s my world that you can do anything in. I wiggle the halfling’s chair. Let me just say what? Nor accurate hobbit, say what? I start going over and back. Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: What doesn’t he gain?
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Oh my God, look, look, look. I’m really trying to stay calm here and interact with you in a calm and reasonable adult to adult manner, but you’re making it quite difficult.
Yinlare: Erindale, shake him! No, no, I’m a jister, I’m a jister!
DM: Look either pay the fine or fight it out there.
Shain: Okay.
DM: I don’t see another Well, you know, what’s this? That’s not really the going fee Yeah. There is indeed a window right behind him, yes.
Yinlare: No, no, calm, calm, calm. Look, how about this?
Yinlare: I’m going to reach into my bag, I’m going to pull out two gold coins and put them on the desk.
Yinlare: Two whole gold coins. That seems fair, right?
Yinlare: I don’t think so.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Butter?
Aerendyl: Is there a window in this place? Can I um… Have I actually made my grappling hook yet? You are not incorrect. I have not made it. A prototype that I can work with later on. But I have the materials.
Yinlare: No, no, don’t throw him.
DM: What are you doing?
Yinlare: Oh my god, bad.
Yinlare: Oh my god, no.
Yinlare: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: I don’t think. So am I incorrect in that statement though?
DM: You haven’t made the full thing. You made a, um, you made a prototype.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: I don’t think we have time to make a grappling hook right now.
Aerendyl: I have the hook.
DM: East.
Yinlare: Do I want to be straight with you? Look, how about this? You know, we’re all adults here. Let’s return to the previous conversation. Do you have a family? Do you have a family, Mr. Johns?
Aerendyl: How about this? You said the door was frozen, right? Can I just go thaw it out with my knee flamethrower? Oh, then I’ll just fucking elbow the window and just start climbing out. I’ll break the glass and I’ll just use my metal hand to wipe off all the glass on the sides and just brush it off. And then I’ll grab him by the collar of his shirt in the back and just be like, all right, we’re going on a journey. I just hang, I hang him out the window because the window, the window is like perfectly sized for him, right?
DM: He did.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Mr. Johns! I don’t know, there’s guards on the other side of the dragon.
DM: He did.
Yinlare: If you do that…
DM: I mean, you, you, you are able to break the glass.
Yinlare: Does that work?
Yinlare: Can we just do that?
Yinlare: Can we actually just leave? Let him dangle there for like two minutes. I’m just gonna stay silent and then just aggressively drag him back into the room.
Shain: Okay.
DM: Yeah?
DM: Wait, why are you bringing me with you on this?
DM: It’s too, too cute.
DM: The window is actually overcompensating. Uh, we’re talking like a big beautiful pane of glass. Just the whole thing is like, look, I don’t know what you’re trying to gain from this, but you’re obviously not going to get anywhere. Are you just trying to scare the crap out of them?
Aerendyl: Oh, okay.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Then I’m just like, and just hang him out the window. I’m just gonna start shaking as well. I’m gonna grab him by the other part of his shirt. I’m gonna drop the first part. And I’m just gonna regrab it. Just like keep doing it.
Yinlare: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Like I said, give it like a minute to drag him out and then just kind of aggressively drag him back into the room and just kind of hold on there.
DM: Okay.
Aerendyl: I’ll just do this.
DM: Well, thank you.
Yinlare: If you wouldn’t please put a friend down.
Shain: Okay.
DM: Okay.
Yinlare: Now.
Aerendyl: He’s a halfling.
Yinlare: Now. Let’s return to our previous conversation. Do you have a wife and kids at home, or a family? I mean this not in the… I mean this not in the I’m gonna go and kill them kind of way, because you can ask my associate. I don’t really go and hunt down families, not really what I do.
DM: And like I said previously, not of your concern.
Aerendyl: He’s a virgin!
Shain: Okay.
DM: Okay.
Yinlare: I have a family of my own.
Yinlare: My question here is quite simple.
Aerendyl: He said he’d never done it. He didn’t say he ever threatened. Hypothetically, which means you are SINGLE LOSER! Three foot lookin’ ass.
DM: Every time that you’ve you’ve threatened to kill their families.
Yinlare: Shut up.
Yinlare: I didn’t.
Yinlare: I’ve never.
Yinlare: I have not actually done it, though.
Yinlare: Do you love your family? Assuming you do have one. So you’ve been quite schizo about your whole information spiel.
Shain: Okay.
DM: I hypothetically, of course, I would love my family. I Of course, and do you have any proof or evidence of this? Then please, share it.
Shain: This guy is so calm.
Shain: I love him.
Yinlare: I have a family too.
Shain: What?
Shain: Oh, it’s.
Yinlare: A family that I’m actively trying to get back to. Your friend, your little… Well, the man who got promoted, let’s say, took a reward that was mine to receive. I was the one who brought them in. And that money was supposed to help me get transport to go back and save her. That is him, isn’t it? I’m saying the tower guard, the guard who was in there is going to be the one that’s taken the point.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Yes, actually, we do.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: There’s that one guy in the bar. It was the guard for the bar.
Aerendyl: He can testify.
Aerendyl: No it’s not, no it’s not. We brought over the guard, the tower guard, but there was a separate bodyguard. Are you sure it wasn’t the guard you brought over? But the guard that was in there was wasn’t part of the guard center. He was just like could use it. Eyewitnesses, we can even threaten him.
Shain: Okay.
DM: Thank you.
Yinlare: Because he was there when it happened. Any information that they ask about it relating to it, he’s going to be able to give because he was in the bar. The fucker who was actively in the bar is the one who took the credit. I’m like 99% sure of that. I’m positive because he wouldn’t be able to take them because he wouldn’t have all of the information. Because remember, if, like, I’m assuming these aren’t just, wow, you did this with no evidence here’s, you know, a whole promotion and a cushy desk job like this was I thought he will. I thought he was a member of the guard star or he was a guard like.
Shain: Okay.
DM: Thank you.
DM: No, he was an independent guard that worked for a noble. Yeah, you’re about on the fourth floor. If you want to survive.
Yinlare: Okay, so he would have the information. You know what I’ll keep my idea to myself for a second then but yeah if that works.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: I don’t say that out loud.
Aerendyl: Um, butter, how tower we’re in, window, how far. Is there a way to jump down there pretty easily? Fortnite glider. Well, I’m invisible. You’re invisible. I can recast. I know I’m not invisible anymore because I did a fucking break in the window. I guess I’ll cast. It’s not like we’re staying in this town.
Yinlare: I don’t remember his name. I don’t think we, I don’t think we jump yet dragon because I’m pretty sure that there’s, there’s going to be guards on the bottom though, we have to, we have to clear this up with him first before we leave, we have to. Otherwise we will get jumped the second we leave. Are you still invisible after doing all the shit that you’ve done, like one hit?
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Roo?
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: I mean, yeah, I still, I don’t…
DM: Yeah, you’re right.
Yinlare: Roo?
Yinlare: But also, I, if you don’t mind staying in here for just a second, because I don’t want to get jumped if you leave. Okay, fair enough. Um, the thing is, if I get him on our side, I can, I can 100% get the ad at the location, because he knows it or he at least knows where it could be what makes the most sense. I mean, go there, because that money is gonna be a huge, like uptick. Um, so that’s kind of why I’m like, trying, if it doesn’t work, you’re welcome to just kind of, you know, abandon all hope ye who enter here, um, like, yeah, we have proof from the guard, as my, as my associate stated, unless you have any way of verifying my truth, I don’t have the time to wait.
Aerendyl: I’m good.
Aerendyl: I’m not leaving. I’m just giving options.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Yeah. Thank you very much.
Shain: Okay.
DM: Yeah, you’re right.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Yinlare: We need to get this now before they leave, because I don’t have time to go and hunt down some lost cause, I don’t have the money.
DM: Look, this is getting out of hand.
Shain: Okay.
DM: If what you say is true, then you have a mighty fine bounty that will be paid out shortly. Pay the relatively small fine for your crimes here, and you’re free to go.
Yinlare: I can’t
Aerendyl: You don’t even know our names.
DM: I don’t need them. The paperwork just requests that their money has been paid. You know what? I have an idea.
Yinlare: … market down as paid. I can’t pay that money without assurances. I need the assurances. I need to know. How about this? I’m a relatively trustworthy fellow, for what Let me go and get him, and I will return. If I can get that money, and prove that what has happened is the truth, I will return and pay my fine in full for the violence I have caused. Right now, getting to my family is the most important thing to me, and I need the assurances of that money to make sure of it.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Vibe check.
Shain: Okay.
DM: As he begins to cast magic, are you going to stop him or allow him to? The vibes are good. The vibes are good. As he does, in fact, cast the Zone of Truth.
Yinlare: Any, yeah, five check here is this is this like a zone of truth, looking for is like a zone of truth, or is he gonna cast like fucking, you know, like, whole person or some Okay, yeah, I’m not denying it.
Aerendyl: Vibe check.
Aerendyl: Vibe check.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Natural 20 plus five. I do nothing. Vibe check.
Yinlare: I’ll 100% accept it. Yes, in fact, everything that I’ve said, everything down to my family and wanting to return has been a complete truth. Look, as I said, I will restate it all if you want me to. I was the one who did it. Yes, I was told to enter. I was doing what I was told to do. Don’t ask that to the city guard. We won’t commit murder, but we do need to get there now.
DM: Okay, very well.
DM: Were you, in fact, the one that acquired all of the criminals in the bar?
Shain: Okay.
DM: Yeah, I’m not surprised. Okay, well, you know there are better ways of doing it than walking in and knocking out a guard, right? Whatever.
Aerendyl: Not.
Aerendyl: Also, I’m sorry for calling you short. What happened was we walked in and he arrested us.
Shain: Okay.
DM: Look, I can pull up the paperwork, hang on. He kinda reaches into his desk and he pulls out a piece of paper.
Shain: Okay.
DM: Let’s see, it’s a transfer slip.
Aerendyl: Do we have permission to use lethal force if necessary? He said he’s not like common thugs, but this guy seems like a common thug.
DM: He’s heading towards the western guard tower. It’s kind of on the far part of town, across Apple. Uh, no, even if what you say is true, the only thing that he’s committed is lying and fraud, neither of which is…
Shain: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Get what?
DM: deadly fraud.
Yinlare: I’m going to reach in, I want to pull out my, I want to take my bag of holding and I’m going to kind of open it up and put it on the ground in front of me and just kind of look at the wagon.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Get it.
Aerendyl: Get what?
Yinlare: Get in the bag of holding.
DM: He kind of gets out of his desk and he goes to his door, the door, he kind of touches it, it melts the ice. He opens it and says, False alarm, everybody, calm down. As whenever he opens it, there’s like a good hundred guards right outside the door waiting to kind of flood the place. You are on the fourth floor. There is higher floors. That would be give or take like 45 feet. Yes, it’s a stone building. I don’t see how that would practically work. If it was wood and you were using a dagger, then maybe I could kind of see it, but a stone structure with a big… I mean, yeah, sure. It’s just the only way that that would happen is it would destroy your staff. Probably. Okay, sure then. Then, yeah, make an acrobatics check for that. Warning, the DC is going to be a bit high. Yeah.
Yinlare: Yes.
Aerendyl: Okay, um, before we go, since we’re in a zone of truth and all, I am not sorry about the chair thing.
Yinlare: I can move much faster than you can. How far up are we currently? Do we go up, like, how far is the ground? Is this like a- Are we in like a brick? Like, is this like a brick building? Is this- Okay, can I jump out the window and maybe fall like 20 feet, like 20-30 feet and take my quarterstaff and stick it into the side of the wall to like prevent myself from taking fall damage and then hit the ground? I’ll make acrobatics, athletics, whatever chick you want it to be. I’m not like, fine, like, if it’s like, I assume it’s not like, if it’s a stone structure, they’re not like, I assume this isn’t like, you know, good brickwork like we have now, is there no scenario that I can like, maybe find, like, any kind of weak link, like just I’m imagining this, like, cobblestone, sort of a, like… I’ll do it with my second quarter staff. I’ll use it like a lance to protect myself from significant fall damage, even if it’s, like, snaps. Then I’ll pick up the kind of broken pieces and throw them in my bag as I continue going.
Shain: That’s crazy.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Naruto There’s narts. Doing the nerd.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: You said acrobatics.
Yinlare: Let’s see, 19. 15 plus 4.
DM: Okay.
DM: In that case, you would only take three points of legit damage. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s what I’m doing. I promise. Totally not doing anything else with my valuable time. No, I am not. I’m actually not. I’m actually not. It’s just you reminded me of something and so I wanted to see if I could find it. I can only find it in a crisp 240p, but it gets the job done. Is this what you’re doing right here, sir? That’s exactly where my mind went to.
Yinlare: Three points.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: I’m very like, all right. Can I hit the ground like a like a Lancer? I’m gonna kind of like lock onto where he was saying we were supposed to go and with a dragon in bag, I’m gonna make sure to kind of open it every 15 minutes so that he doesn’t fucking… but fucking action dash bonus action dash repeat rinse and repeat kind of just pouring on as much movement speed as I can. Yeah, action action action dash cutting action bonus cutting action bonus action dash just keep ramping my movement speed and just trying to try to get there as fast as humanly possible.
Shain: A baggage, right?
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: I’m going to go back to the warehouse, and you Thank you for having me.
Aerendyl: Thank you.
Aerendyl: Thank you very much.
Yinlare: Okay.
Aerendyl: She’s gotta do the mathematics and calculate the distance.
Aerendyl: Are you on the Minecraft server?
Yinlare: Yes.
Aerendyl: Good.
Aerendyl: Yeah, I know, he’s lying to me.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Yes, absolutely.
Aerendyl: Bro, go back to that shit. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Go back to that shit.
Yinlare: Absolutely.
Shain: Okay.
DM: Oh, back to what?
Aerendyl: How many, how many images did I see of greatest real estate developers smirking?
DM: I don’t know what you’re talking about. Okay, um, anyway, um, yes, okay, so that would bring you from the, let me, uh, a little from here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, that would be a crisp, like, regular, a crisp, like, 30 minutes because your run dash running would be like 10 minutes for you, so you get to the guard tower in 10 minutes. Um, what’s your, uh, game plan here? Because last time you just tried to enter a guard tower, you arrested. Uh, make a perception check? Okay, uh, you see kind of off to the side where a cart was? It appears to have left already. There it is, yes. Okay, so that means that as you run it down, you catch up to it a little bit out of town here. It’s just a regular cart, yeah, nothing special at all. I mean, okay, um, Yeah, um, the wheel absolutely explodes, um, as the car kind of plops to the side and the horses kind of go crazy for a second, but it has successfully stopped moving. The driver does kind of get down to look at what happened to the wheel, but nobody gets out of the inside of the cart now. He kind of opens. The, uh, the back says, huh?
Yinlare: They made it halfway stop them.
Aerendyl: Diabolical!
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: I just got to breathe twice.
Yinlare: Quick.
Yinlare: 10 minutes fucking awesome.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Is there.
Yinlare: Okay.
Yinlare: Is there any sign of like a cart being packed up people moving as it like anything at all to show that they’re still here. Perception check. Sure.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Okay, not bad. 20 something I think. Perception? Yeah, 21.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Shit.
Yinlare: Running it down continuously just ramping my movement speed following if there’s like tracks I assume like in the dirt. Running it down. Fun if is it like a normal cart? Can I can I take my remaining quarterstaff and like, like throwing a stick into it like a bike spoke? Just like launch it like one of the front like wheels of this thing. Keep in mind, this is my metal staff. This is my metal quarter staff. Does he get out? I’m if I’m still approaching I’m gonna like throw my bag of holding like a couple inches forward and just poke a ball release a dragon in front of me. What was his name? Sherman? Can I just fucking yell out fucking…
Aerendyl: Thank you.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: New line.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Hah!
Aerendyl: Where are we?
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Sherba-la-derba-derb Hah!
Yinlare: Sherman!
Yinlare: I’ve been running for like 40 straight minutes now, right? If I’m just exhausted, I’m tired. I am run down. I’m just gonna point at him with like the I’m gonna go I’m gonna go over like pick up my quarterstaff and just point it at him fucking you no no no no I don’t you and I are gonna have a little chat you’ve made me run far out of my way and waste a whole lot of time for that shit you pulled you’re not getting away with it now before you continue opening your mouth to spew baseless lies you know what I did do you want to keep up the act Typically, you’d be correct.
DM: New column.
DM: It’s not like that.
Shain: Thank you.
DM: He finally looks at you and goes, uh, I think you have the wrong guy.
Aerendyl: You!
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Hah!
DM: It’s okay.
Shain: Okay.
DM: Look bad.
DM: Come on.
DM: You’re really going to just tell me you wouldn’t do the same? You know, a perfectly good situation. I finally would get a raise. I finally get a position of where I wanted.
DM: Come on, man.
DM: You can’t blame me too much.
Yinlare: I wouldn’t. I’m, you know, a mercenary at heart, I totally understand it. However, this was not something that you did to… this wasn’t something you did to me. You did this, preventing me to get to my wife.
Aerendyl: That’s code for you’re gonna die!
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: I know about this.
Aerendyl: Okay.
DM: I, I don’t have fourteen.
Yinlare: You give me the full gold, and some, and I won’t turn you in.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: I’ll let you in.
Yinlare: I’m 14. How much do you have on me?
Aerendyl: You’re being a little excessive. He’s giving us 13,000 gold. Just accept it.
DM: I, I, I, I won’t do it.
Yinlare: I’m just going to look into it. He’s not here. He doesn’t have any more gold.
Aerendyl: Surely he’s not lying, insight check.
Aerendyl: Um…
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Uh…
DM: Lying about what? He hasn’t said that.
Aerendyl: Uh, 17.
Aerendyl: Is he lying? Uh, having no more gold than 13k.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Aerendyl: He said I don’t have more gold.
DM: No, no, no, no.
DM: He says, I don’t have much more gold. He just immediately took off whenever I said that. He was, he was more. Okay, I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you if he’s lying after I finish the statement, okay? I don’t have much more than that. All the rest I was just going to use to, for my stay there. I mean, you’re not gonna just leave me alone defenseless, are you? For the record, he is telling the truth. He just kind of looks down, upset, disappointed, and then gives you all of his money, which amounts to just about 13,500 gold.
Aerendyl: Um…
Yinlare: He’s lying.
Aerendyl: Sorry, I… Sorry, sorry.
Aerendyl: I heard…
Aerendyl: I heard different.
Yinlare: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Um, I’m just going to kind of point at him, and like, um, wife defenseless, another city, that whole spiel again, remember, the full amount, and everything. And like I said, I’ll be back. Since when has that ever been how I roll?
Aerendyl: Um…
Shain: Okay.
DM: Yes.
Aerendyl: Butter?
Aerendyl: I would like to sneak him 50 gold coins.
Shain: Okay.
DM: He just kind of looks at you and says, um you know What? Um he uh he kind of looks out of the cart and says, um what am I supposed to do about the wheel you destroyed? Uh not not not a quick minute you can certainly fix it but it’s gonna take you a little bit …because the wheel is completely and utterly obliterated by a metal snaf. No, there’s no cell towers nearby, sorry.
Aerendyl: …
Aerendyl: Treat yourself. And watch your back!
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: …
Aerendyl: And watch your back!
Aerendyl: …
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: …
Aerendyl: Let me look at it.
Aerendyl: Is it something I can fix in a quick minute?
Aerendyl: Oh.
Aerendyl: I just kneel down like…
Aerendyl: Why?
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: You could have jumped in front of the road and be like, Help me!
Aerendyl: I don’t know.
Aerendyl: Can’t fix the wheel. It’s broken.
Aerendyl: You gotta…
Aerendyl: Uh…
Aerendyl: Is there self-service?
Aerendyl: Man, I…
Yinlare: Um, Oh, look, I’m gonna kind of look at the driver.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: I’m sorry, man.
Aerendyl: It looks like you’re gonna have to call an Uber. Oh, wait.
Aerendyl: I can contact my friends.
DM: Whatever, man, I’m paid by the end of the day.
Aerendyl: They’re in another continent.
Yinlare: I’m sorry about this was kind of doing thought I had on my mind trying to make it as quick as possible. I’ll send somebody out here should be out here in a couple and maybe an hour or two. I apologize again. Hey, I totally get it. You want me to delay him an extra hour for you then? I will go ahead and let them know to take their time.
Shain: Okay.
DM: I’m paid by the hour. Maybe two.
Aerendyl: How do we get back?
Yinlare: Um, maybe…
Yinlare: Good luck.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Um, and I’m gonna kind of, like, look at Aaron now.
Yinlare: If, uh, I don’t need anything else here, I’m happy to start heading back. Um, if you need…
Yinlare: Will you walk?
Yinlare: Or if you want to get in the… Back in the bag, I’ll run. Will you help… Will you help me to run with me?
DM: I’m paid by the hour.
Aerendyl: It’s very stuffy in there.
Aerendyl: Open it up.
Yinlare: Yeah, all right, I’ll open the bag of holding, can I toss something? I’m gonna start booking it back to town, like, as fast as I can.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Let’s come out and get this over with.
Yinlare: Once we get back, once we get back, we could, um, you want to be popular?
Aerendyl: It’s like Mimir from God of War.
Shain: I think.
DM: Thank you.
Aerendyl: Bless you.
Aerendyl: I think.
Aerendyl: Me?
Yinlare: Yes.
Aerendyl: Why me?
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Me popular?
Yinlare: How about in a state of power, or a position of power? Nope, no responsibility at all, just a paycheck.
Aerendyl: No, no.
Aerendyl: That seems like it requires a lot of responsibility, and I don’t do responsibility. It’s just a paycheck. What do I gotta do? You mean…
Yinlare: Can you make any more rocks?
DM: Yeah, I think so.
Yinlare: You made the ones that you and I have.
Aerendyl: these?
Aerendyl: The orb of zoom, or this? I think I can make sending stones, is that right?
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: I made the ones that I have, so I should have it.
Yinlare: How long does it take an hour? It’s the phones. Excellent. We’ll go ahead and make two and we’ll take the scenic route.
Aerendyl: Well, it depends.
Aerendyl: The fuck is this?
DM: Tiny magic spinny stuff.
Aerendyl: Tiny magic spinny stone?
Aerendyl: Why do I- filthy squabbled body! I forgot I looted the scales and body parts of that squabble!
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Sorry, I haven’t looked at my inventory in a while.
DM: What the what the word of law says about that. Yeah, sure, why not? Or, or you chillax in the back of holding.
Aerendyl: Yeah, I can make sending sounds. I mean, I think I can do it like 30 minutes a piece if God allows me.
Aerendyl: 30 minutes.
Aerendyl: Yes, yes, I just checked in with my boy.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Two in the secret.
Yinlare: Just follow.
Yinlare: I must start walking like with purpose.
Aerendyl: Am I walking whilst making them?
Yinlare: You can switch.
Yinlare: Can you do it? Yeah, go right ahead. No, no, you can breathe in a bag of holding for 15 minutes. You start dying, the air runs out after 15 minutes. That’s why I keep opening it up every 15 minutes, you don’t die. Oh my god, get back, get back in the Pokeball. If I just take the entrance of it and just, if I take the entrance of the bag of holding and just like slap Dragon with it, does he just get pulled into it like Pokeball style? Okay, excellent. Can you put his back on Comcrest?
Aerendyl: Yes.
Aerendyl: So I’m just holding my breath in a bag of holding. Ah, yeah, okay.
Shain: Okay.
DM: You’re back in the Pokeball.
Aerendyl: You don’t even have air conditioning!
DM: You’re treating him like a slave bro. Absolutely he does, yes. Uh, hey look, you arrived back in Comcast after a nice scenic route. No, not even remotely, but they work. I got the highest roll I’ve gotten in a long ball at 19. No it’s not. Oh, are you at the, are you at that warehouse? Hey, um, then after a solid two, that’s not what I meant to press.
Aerendyl: Ah!
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: I have made two sending stones and butter. Is it my finest work? What if I rolled a nat 20?
Yinlare: Okay, he didn’t roll that, Tony.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: How about this?
Aerendyl: This is the time for butter to roll a nat 20. So that’s my finest work yet.
Yinlare: How about this?
Yinlare: We’ll do it the other way around. What if butter doesn’t roll in that 20?
Yinlare: Well, unfortunately.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Cool.
Aerendyl: Nice.
Yinlare: Oh, OK. I’m going to open the bag and kind of…
Aerendyl: Fuck.
Aerendyl: Well, I got them. What do you need them for?
Yinlare: Arendelle, I choose you!
Aerendyl: Why are we here?
Yinlare: Uh, and you’re kind of standing next to me at the edge of like a big fucking warehouse.
Yinlare: Boom, boom, boom.
Aerendyl: Oh, is this like a secret thing?
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Knock, knock, knock.
Aerendyl: Hood on.
Yinlare: Oh, yeah.
Yinlare: I’m at that warehouse.
Yinlare: Whoa!
Aerendyl: That’s not good.
DM: That’s not what I meant to press.
DM: No, no, no, no, no, look away.
DM: Look away.
Yinlare: Yeah, cuz…
Aerendyl: That’s not good. That’s not good news. He made a battle map for the warehouse. Butter, show me the battle map for the barn, then.
DM: Excuse me, I make battle maps for every time that you guys interact with people.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: do you know how poorly that could have gone?
DM: It lets me…
DM: The battle map for the barn? That’s not fair, I already hit it because I didn’t think you guys were going back to it. That’s not fair, I don’t have it open anymore. The battle map for the guards tower? That’s, uh, okay, I did not create that. I just have it for scale. You know, you have been there before. To be honest, I don’t actually create battle maps for exactly everything. I use ones that pre-exist. So for the battle map for the thing, I literally just use the church battle map that I imported a while ago. So just for the scale, but it’s fine. Anyways, back to what we were talking about. Okay, so here at the warehouse, you knocked. After a minute or two, the woman who you basically said is now second-in-command opens the door and says, Hmm, we’ve been waiting for you. Are you gonna walk in or are you just gonna stand out there in fear?
Aerendyl: The barn that Nate went to.
Yinlare: Well, let’s see it.
Aerendyl: You made a battle map for every place we went to. Well, you made a battle map for every place we’ve ever been to.
Yinlare: Where’s the battle… where’s the battle map for the guards tower?
Aerendyl: I’m sensing bullshit.
Aerendyl: Yeah, I’m better.
Yinlare: And the hundred…
Yinlare: and the hundred tokens? Yeah, all 100 of the guards tokens that were there. He’s creating it right now to make sure we don’t break the illusion. Anyways, I’m going to get murdered, I’m going to walk in here and get fucking murdered. I’m- I don’t feel fear, I’m standing there in the fucking like Spider-Man 20- Goku in the doorway. Yep, alright, I’m gonna turn around and kind of stick with me for the time being.
Aerendyl: Yeah, I’m better.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Is there an action?
Aerendyl: Well, we’ve been there.
Shain: Well.
Aerendyl: George.
Shain: George, George, George, George.
Aerendyl: George.
Shain: Human.
Shain: Human torch.
Aerendyl: George.
Shain: Human tortoise.
Aerendyl: Tony, you got me.
Aerendyl: Nate’s a pussy.
Shain: And Thank you.
DM: Okay.
Aerendyl: I’ll walk into but with like a little bit of like No, I was gonna because you know, like the the wide Putin walk like that Nanya Ceo Co CEO Okay.
Yinlare: I’m gonna just walk in.
Yinlare: Swagger, swagger.
DM: Yes.
DM: She kind of turns and says, is he a acquaintance? I understand. Very well.
Yinlare: Consider him my equal or at least on the same level as myself.
DM: We, we.
DM: Okay, per your request, we did look into the, um, we did look into the blacksmith. We weren’t able to find out much information. It appears that most of his organization has gone to ground.
Yinlare: Okay.
DM: I’m not sure why.
DM: We do have another name though, if that helps at all. We only have seen references. Our best guess is probably somebody who helped him, or maybe one that bought from him, or his supplier, but we’re not entirely sure. There isn’t a lot of paperwork about this. It’s implied, the frequency that they, according- here, I can just show you the paperwork. It seems to be a log of whenever they would meet up. Considering the frequency and the dates, it’s likely that they’re in town. Okay, his name’s supposedly Melvin. I’m not sure what race or anything he is. Or even if it is a he, to be honest. But given the short time we’ve had to work on it, I believe we’ve done well.
Yinlare: A name for somebody who is in a high level of position, somebody who trades with him. Right. Somebody who is in town, is that part of this paperwork? Or somebody who is in this city, or just a name?
Aerendyl: Okay.
Yinlare: Okay.
Yinlare: Yes, please. Any data on that, if you don’t mind? You have done quite well, and I am truly impressed. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into coming here, but it proves that I’ve chosen my group well, and I’ve chosen you as a good successor to whoever was here before. Where was this meeting position that they were at?
Aerendyl: Okay.
DM: It doesn’t have that information unfortunately.
Aerendyl: I said there was a meeting location. I know exactly where it is.
Yinlare: Did you not say that there was a like meeting locations and I thought butter just said that there was a meeting location and like, uh, Oh, Oh, okay.
DM: No, given the dates and the frequency, it’s likely that it was in town.
Yinlare: Forgive me then.
Yinlare: Okay.
Yinlare: In my case, I’ll come talk to you in a second.
DM: Uh, they…
Yinlare: What are the dates? When are they meeting?
Yinlare: I don’t even know.
Yinlare: Is it like once a week, every week, like consistently or?
DM: It was about once every other week, very consistently. Melfin, M-E-L-F-I-N.
Aerendyl: Fin.
Yinlare: Okay.
Yinlare: Mel four? Okay, we’re calling him Melvin. So him and Melvin meet up at Dwagon’s location.
Yinlare: We’ll go handle that in a second. I do kind of want to um can I see one of those sending stones?
Yinlare: I don’t know.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Yinlare: As far as this whole organization is going to go, consider me, as far as I’m concerned, a backer, not necessarily the one in charge anymore.
DM: Melfin, M-E-L-F-I-N.
Yinlare: I’m going to hand her the sending stone and I’m going to go and I’m going to point at Dwagon.
Yinlare: um he is the one in charge now um I for these everything takes effect here um I would like it to be known any and all profits that you guys make you are welcome to hold to yourself though if there is a way of transfer once a month he receives five percent of all profits It’s made. And I do have one last task for you before I transfer it all over. I would like you to find the fastest method of travel from, whether legal or not, from calm crest to snow vale. I’m willing to pay any amount if necessary. And other than that, continue what you’re doing. You do not need to continue this case with this blacksmith any further. It needs to be fast. Comfort a second to get fast. How expensive and where can I find it? A location for this. Let’s be possible for you to have this data by this evening.
Aerendyl: Okay.
DM: M-E-L-F-I-N.
Aerendyl: Okay.
DM: Very well.
DM: Speaking on the matter of transport, does the ride need to be comfortable?
DM: Very well.
DM: There’s a very efficient mode of transport, although it is highly illegal, and thus highly expensive. Well, from what I’ve heard, anyway, it generally goes about one or two thousand gold for a one-way trip. However, usually, transportation is as quick as overnight. Um, I’m not sure I have to inquire. I believe they change locations frequently. If we put our men on it, yes.
Aerendyl: Okay. Okay. Okay.
Yinlare: I’m going to give her 200 gold, and just kind of, if that helps you get there any faster.
DM: Thank you.
DM: Whenever I have the information, what should I do with it? Very well. If possible, did you want me to go ahead and reserve the transportation or just acquire information? I believe you pay right before boarding.
Yinlare: I’ll return this evening, say around midnight, if you have that information by then, excellent. If not, I’ll take back the following morning.
Yinlare: Yes, absolutely.
Yinlare: Absolutely. Do you want me to give you funds for it? Or is it something that I can meet up and pay them when the location is needed? Excellent, then yes, please reserve a spot. In that case, I’m going to kind of turn to, um, but while this is being handled, enjoy your new criminal syndicates and fluffy paycheck that comes along with it every now and then.
Aerendyl: Okay.
DM: Very well.
DM: Uh, you actually didn’t get her name.
Yinlare: That’s your, um, I forgot her name.
Yinlare: What’s her name?
Yinlare: I know I got it last time, but I clearly forgot what it was.
Yinlare: The tiefling.
Yinlare: I knocked?
Yinlare: I swear to god I…
Yinlare: Okay, I do apologize. I must have either slipped my mind or forgotten to ask. I was in quite a rush. What is your name, dear?
DM: Um, my name is Serenity.
Yinlare: Serenity.
Yinlare: Well, Serenity, this is Arendelle. Any commands you receive from him, take it as if it were my own. Other than that, you know the shtick. Make money however means necessary. That sending stone is your cross to him if you want orders or you want a direction or to send the paycheck. We will be back this evening, Aaron Dell, before we take this. Would you like to put an end to this whole situation with the blacksmith and his illegal trade?
Shain: New
Aerendyl: Okay.
DM: What location are you referring to right now? Oh, oh, oh. Um, yes, it’s in a basement.
Aerendyl: Sure, why not.
Aerendyl: Might as well.
Aerendyl: I do believe the location was…
Yinlare: You’re talking about the basement, right?
Aerendyl: It was near his blacksmith, right?
Aerendyl: Thank you very much.
Aerendyl: The meet-up spot that I got from the guy.
Aerendyl: It was like in a basement.
Aerendyl: If I’m correct, it was in a basement near the blacksmith.
DM: Wait, hang on, I’m on the wrong map.
DM: Yes, uh, it was…
DM: let’s see, hang on.
DM: Okay, hang on, I’m going to have to look back at this thing to figure out where the blacksmith was. Okay, yeah, so the blacksmith was here, the location that he was given you was in this building here in the basement.
Yinlare: Does tonight happen to coincide with one of their weekly meetings per chance, maybe? It does.
Aerendyl: Yeah, okay.
Aerendyl: Another location.
DM: Yes.
DM: It’s not a regular, it’s slightly irregular, but happened once every other week, if that makes sense.
Aerendyl: Wait, in there?
Yinlare: Yes.
Aerendyl: I have an idea. I can look at my spell slots, I can change myself to look exactly like that scum, and then you can hide in the back because you’re so talented at hiding. Like, it’s weird.
Yinlare: Mollies.
Aerendyl: Sometimes I’ll turn and look and you’re not there.
Yinlare: You know more information than I, so it makes more sense that you’re the one who does it. I’m right. I’m going to do that. Small issue, you don’t exactly have his voice.
Aerendyl: Exactly.
Aerendyl: But don’t block eye contact.
Shain: New
Aerendyl: Well, then again, I won’t see you, so… Anyways, I said we’d do that.
Aerendyl: Does that sound right?
Aerendyl: Yes.
Aerendyl: Um, I’m going to most likely be filling in gaps with, uh, just guesses and hope that I’m right. Um, so yeah, um, yeah, that’s what’s gonna happen. If things look, uh, if things look dicey, uh, kill them all.
DM: Okay.
Aerendyl: Except for one, we need information out of one of them.
Aerendyl: Well, wait a second. Facial features including sound of your voice, hair length, coloration, distinguishing characters, alter self.
Yinlare: Oh, alter self.
Yinlare: Okay, I thought you were doing disguise self. Okay, well then.
Aerendyl: No, I got alter self.
Yinlare: Then that works. Just fine.
Aerendyl: It’s all sounding good.
Yinlare: In that case, the last time I saw the blacksmith, whatever clothes he was wearing, I’m going to kind of snap my Glamour Weave and throw it around Dwyane’s shoulders and just kind of mimic whatever the clothes he was last wearing.
Aerendyl: How long does alter self last? It says duration concentration up to one hour. So as soon as we get there, I’ll cast it.
DM: Okay.
DM: Okay.
Yinlare: I think an hour.
Yinlare: It could be an hour or it’s either like an hour, an hour. Okay, so an hour max, if you take damage, you got to keep it, you got to make a concentration check.
Yinlare: Seems fine to me.
DM: Okay.
Yinlare: In that case, um, do you, is that, I mean, it’s kind of far from here. It’s like an hour from here.
Yinlare: Do you want to run with me?
Yinlare: Or do you want to get back in the bag of holding?
Aerendyl: Just open the damn bag.
Shain: New
Yinlare: Alright, I run and I run and I run and I run and I’m now there. Look at that, we’re there, we’re at the place. I open it up and release him.
Aerendyl: As she goes to the bag, it’s your, I hate this place!
DM: Okay.
Aerendyl: Okay.
DM: Okay.
DM: You just there.
DM: Fantastic.
Yinlare: Wait, wait, wait.
DM: Okay.
Aerendyl: Say that again.
Yinlare: Butter, say that again.
DM: You’re at the place. Fantastic. So, you’re at. Fantastic.
Yinlare: Say that again.
Yinlare: The last part.
Shain: New paragraph. New paragraph. Don’t.
Aerendyl: Say that again.
Shain: Don’t.
Shain: No.
Yinlare: It is truly isn’t it.
DM: I don’t understand.
Shain: They’re stupid, that’s all. That’s, that’s, the whole thing is stupid.
Yinlare: So, Butter, here’s the thing. It is truly isn’t. Here’s the thing. So here’s the thing, Butter. Fantastic, ain’t it?
Shain: I don’t even know where it came from. I think it’s, I don’t, no, stop. It’s brain rot Marvel rivals, dude.
Aerendyl: So butter, here’s the thing. It’s a Fantastic Four joke. So here’s the thing. Here’s the thing. So here’s the thing, yeah.
DM: Mm hmm.
Shain: The roof.
Shain: Yeah, you guys aren’t.
Shain: Yeah, no.
DM: Mm hmm.
Aerendyl: Say that again.
Yinlare: Fantastic?
Yinlare: Oh, truly, truly.
Aerendyl: So we’re there, but I’m going to cast Alter Self to make me look like a piece of shit. Also known as Kadral.
Yinlare: Okay.
Yinlare: I’m not going to cast anything. Just knock on the door and ask for Marvin. Just ask for Marvin.
DM: OK, what’s your game plan here? OK, you kind of, all right, outside, as you enter the building, because, of course, to enter the basement, you have to go through the building, it appears to be an abandoned storefront. As you continue walking through, you get to what, presumably, is the basement entrance, and you open it up and walk through, and it’s completely empty. Abandoned, as far as you can tell. There are no crates now. According to the log, they met about 12 days ago. Nothing specific now. Is there a census in town? Not to your knowledge. You could ask around to find out, but. There is a shop across the street. Okay, it’s yes. Uh, there is a bookshelf, but it doesn’t seem to have any books on it.
Aerendyl: Go into the meeting spot that we heard so much about and look around.
Yinlare: That’s completely nothing.
Yinlare: Any notes, signs, shit. Well, he’s looking around. Butter, last log. When was the last time they met?
Aerendyl: I’m gonna look around. Is there crates anywhere?
Yinlare: Shit.
Yinlare: Okay, um, do I get a problem because I’m realizing what’s going through my head right now. 12 days is about the max they’ve gone if it’s about every other week. So if it’s about every other week, they should have met already or be meeting in the next couple of days.
Yinlare: Which means, if he’s not here now, then there’s a pretty good chance he went to the other place.
Yinlare: To his, you know, shop.
Yinlare: Um, okay.
Yinlare: Shit. And we had no information on who this Melvin guy is.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Did this town do a census?
Yinlare: A census.
Yinlare: C-E-N-S-U-S.
Yinlare: Census.
Yinlare: Like a counting of who everybody is in the town.
Yinlare: Shit.
Yinlare: Not worth the time.
Yinlare: Um.
Yinlare: Is there any houses near here? Anything that might overlook the storefront or see it?
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Okay, cool.
Yinlare: I’m going to the shop across the street.
Aerendyl: Okay, butter. In the basement. Is there a bookshelf? Okay, well, let me look at the floor. Does there have scuff marks?
Yinlare: Buh-bing!
Shain: Okay.
DM: Uh, assume.
Shain: Oh crap.
DM: Yes. I thought you’re going to have to roll investigation or something for anything. And I thought telling you no books would kind of throw you off because you’d be like, Oh, well, no secret entrance there.
Yinlare: Okay, cool.
Aerendyl: I’m under.
DM: Yes.
Aerendyl: Can I move the bookshelf with the scuff marks? Is this when Nate’s already gone? You were very fast. Well I was looking around, so.
DM: You can indeed move the bookshelf with the scuff marks. That depends on you, Dragon. Would you have tried to do this instantaneous or… Would you, would you, okay, would you have just been looking around, or would you have immediately gone, Bookshelf. Yeah, but the layout would make it so the bookshelf is kind of…
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Well.
Aerendyl: My brain did initially go bookshelf, so yeah, if I saw a bookshelf I would have looked at the floor and bel- ooh!
Aerendyl: Dark?
DM: You know what?
DM: Die. You tell me. Okay, according to the die, you had already left, uh, in there.
Aerendyl: Were you gonna say dark? Were you gonna say dark? Because I have darkvision.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Uhh.
DM: Sorry.
Aerendyl: Well, I open it up.
DM: Okay, uh, inside there are some empty, um, empty crates and there is what appears to be a notebook that is just open to, um, just the front page. It doesn’t seem like there’s been anything written down in it except for on the front page, so it’s not like there’s a logbook or anything. It just says, you didn’t show, meet again, two days. However, as it doesn’t have a date or anything, you don’t know when the two days from then was.
Aerendyl: I’m sorry.
Aerendyl: I’m sorry.
Aerendyl: I’m sorry.
Aerendyl: What does the front page say?
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Deal.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Butter.
Aerendyl: Let me ask you this simple question. How fresh is the ink?
DM: Mm-hmm.
Shain: Okay.
DM: A full investigation.
Aerendyl: How fresh is the ink?
DM: I have friends with me.
Yinlare: New
Aerendyl: My investigation is pretty damn good too. Lucky! Do I have another lucky? I do have another lucky. Which means I’m gonna use it. Okay, that’s, you know, it’s better than nothing.
Shain: Okay.
DM: Okay, a 22.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: That, that.
Aerendyl: 22. About a day ago, which means today is the day, or tomorrow.
Shain: Okay.
DM: It is not that French. If you were to guess, it would have been written about a day ago. Theoretically, it should be tonight. It’s currently, like, just getting to sundown. So, by the way, you should probably have a point of exhaustion for that, but we’re just gonna chalk that up to you being unnaturally athletic. Okay, an hour of running at full top speed that you could possibly muster, and that’s not going to be exhausting at all. You can’t just say you killed a god and excuse you from all in-game consequences. Yeah, I don’t know. The orb of zoom was really funny. I just beg you, please, every time you have, like, a conversation that has to be made with zero context, use the orb of two. It’s pretty crisp. And it was quite the app session. I have not yet now.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: If it’s two days from now, it should be today then. Okay, so butter.
Yinlare: Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Oh my god damn, I forgot how much time I spent running. It was only like an hour of running.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Aerendyl: Is there any way I can contact you, Larry? And it doesn’t matter anyways. He’ll be dead soon.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: There’s more.
Yinlare: I killed a god. No, I don’t think the damage that I did when we killed that boss was accidental wagon. My 700 and something points of damage. Yeah, you and I have one, don’t we?
Aerendyl: We accidentally killed a god.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Um, fuck.
Aerendyl: It’s not like you have… Does Nate have a sending stone on him back? Yeah, we do. Why didn’t I just use that instead of the orbit zoom?
Yinlare: The Orb of Zune was funny.
Aerendyl: The orbit zoom was funny to be honest. Yeah, and I think it’s just going to be a recurring bit, especially with their next session.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Oh my God.
Aerendyl: You know, I could just use the orbit zoom now, but I’m not going to.
Yinlare: Yes, please. Really well.
Shain: Oh, yeah.
Aerendyl: Oh, it came out pretty well. Yeah, it was, you know, it was in the, it was in the middle of a inn and people heard us and, you know, Andrew killed a cat. She is not. Um, I’m going to use the sending stone.
Shain: How did that message come through?
Yinlare: I didn’t question that.
Shain: I don’t think I want to hear myself. I will not be happy.
Yinlare: I am right there with the flux. I swear I was not here on Wednesday. I was not about to hear myself speak. I think it’s better that I have a little bit of time before he does that because he would have spent the time exploring and smelling the ink.
DM: I’ll play it after the session.
Aerendyl: Get in there!
Aerendyl: Come back!
Aerendyl: I found a secret door! And I do believe, I do believe, they will be coming back tonight.
DM: Yes, yes.
Aerendyl: Just the butter?
DM: You have a little bit of time, yeah. Yeah, this is imagine that no context and think, all right, I sniffed the ink.
Yinlare: Okay.
Yinlare: I just need like five minutes. What is the store that I’m going into? Okay, I’m gonna pull up like my typical like walking in like hood up, face mask up, kind of like, you know, full mercenary mode. And kind of enter into the store. Ring, ring, the bell rings as I open the door. Oh my god. If you’ll excuse me, um, but I need to kind of do I can never make that fucking noise again. I cannot I cannot describe the actual like mice like from the waist to about my mid chest. My entire stomach just tensed. Like I actually I actually just fucking got PTSD like my body physically tensed. You need to stop right now. That is enough. The it was a sound in one of the raids that I spent to do like I spent so much time in salvation center. I have the fucking carry emblem for sure paying people through that. It’s no the sound in game is like, oh my god, it’s so beautiful. It’s one of those beautiful noises in the game.
Aerendyl: How fresh is the ink?
Shain: Yes, I do.
Aragorn: I’m here to turn it off.
DM: What’d you say?
DM: It seems to be a general store. Obviously, the ring.
Aerendyl: Ring-ding-ding-ding-ding!
Aerendyl: thing.
Aerendyl: Ding ding ding ding.
Aerendyl: Ding ding ding.
Aerendyl: Ring ding ding ding ding Ring ding Ring ding ding ding Ring ding ding ding ding Set.
Aragorn: Okay.
DM: Why?
Shain: Yes, I do.
DM: Why?
DM: Why?
Aerendyl: Receive.
Aerendyl: Set.
DM: What is that?
Aerendyl: Ring-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding.
Aerendyl: Just something from Destiny 2. It was a sound in the game. He spent so much time and that sound is atrocious. But it gives you so much pain because you remember.
Shain: Yes, I do.
Aragorn: Okay.
DM: No.
Yinlare: It’s so good.
Yinlare: Oh my god, it’s do I against recreating the noise almost perfectly and it’s actually giving me like a schizo breakdown.
Shain: Yes, I do.
Yinlare: Can you server me dragon?
DM: Okay, anyways. Um, so yes, you enter. You enter the uh, the store. Sorry, and a um, one of the uh, oh my gosh, the salesperson guy just says, welcome, let me know if you need anything.
Aragorn: Okay.
Yinlare: Whereas high speed blood fingering is playing counter-strength.
Aragorn: Okay.
Yinlare: Anyway, yeah, sorry.
Shain: Yes, I do.
Yinlare: I’m gonna kind of like walk up to the desk and kind of have a question if you don’t mind.
Aerendyl: Oh, black man.
DM: Um, Oh, yeah, sure.
Aragorn: Okay.
Yinlare: I’m gonna kind of like point out to across the storefront.
DM: What are you looking for?
Shain: Yes, I do.
Yinlare: You see people meeting in every couple of weeks or so. Typically two men. I’m looking for if you’ve seen any repeat visitors. Specifically a blacksmith style man and another man of an unidentifiable gender race. Look, I’m, I’m gonna kinda like, I’m with the, I’m a more scenario group of the city guard, I’m looking for a couple of people who escaped. Just trying to do my, just… Ooh, not good, not good. Dirty 20.
DM: Um, I mean, people go in there all, get out of there all the time.
DM: Most homeless, I’m pretty sure.
Shain: Yes, I do.
Aragorn: Thank you.
DM: Oh, hang on, let’s see.
Aerendyl: I’m looking for black men. But I rolled a 19 to me.
DM: Make a deception check.
Shain: Yes, I do.
Aragorn: Thank you.
DM: Yeah, I thought I thought there was a chance. Hey, I rolled an 18. But yeah anyway So He says oh for the guard. Okay. Sorry.
Yinlare: I rolled an 11. Hey, I rolled an 11!
Shain: Yes, I do.
Yinlare: No, where’s it all? Interesting.
DM: I had thought you were just a Suspicious individual to be honest.
DM: Um yeah, I mean there was a guy that Seemed to show up about once a week or so Every so often there would also be a I presume to be a half elf from the years that would accompany him Well half-elf were high off to be honest and I’m not entirely sure it’s like I actually talked to the man No, I’m sorry.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Shain: Yes, I do.
Aragorn: Thank you.
Yinlare: Okay.
Yinlare: Now, supposedly I believe it is this elf that you speak. I believe his name is Melfin. Does that name ring any bells, anybody you’ve heard or seen around? No worries at all, I do appreciate you for your help. Though, I’m looking for, if you can supply it for me that’d be great, I’d be happy to pay.
Shain: Yes, I do.
Aragorn: Thank you.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Yinlare: I’m gonna take my quarterstaff, my metal one that I’ve got, and put it on the desk, or like a bar or whatever.
DM: Okay.
Yinlare: Ignore the notches in it, it’s a sort of decoration. I’m looking for a second one of this design, just basically a large rod of metal. Something that you have around. If it’s not, if it is hollow, I’d be happy to exchange for us if that’s, if it as long as it’s about the same size, it works for me.
Shain: Yes, I do.
Aragorn: Thank you.
DM: Um, I mean, let’s see.
DM: Uh, I have something like this, but yours doesn’t seem hollow on the inside. I don’t think we carry anything like that.
DM: Yeah, give or take.
Shain: Yes, I do.
Aragorn: Thank you.
DM: It’s a little bit longer, but it’s basically just a metal shaft. That’s hollow on the inside.
Yinlare: It’s like it’s just a metal PVC pipe.
DM: Yup.
Yinlare: Yeah, all right, awesome.
Yinlare: How much?
DM: Well, to be honest, nobody needs to buy this, so I give you a deal, say five gold coins.
Yinlare: I’m just going to take it from him and drop it into my bag and just kind of pull out my settling stone and just… I understand I’m on my way back over. I appreciate your help.
Shain: Yes, I do.
Aragorn: Thank you.
DM: Yeah, obviously, sure. He probably would have, yeah.
Yinlare: Okay, now here’s what we’re going to do. This was not what I was intending to do at all, but I’m 100% going to do this anyway. Is there any possible way that I can sneak up on Dragon? Okay, I sneak up… Did he leave it open or no? The bookshelf? Okay, I’m gonna walk up behind Dragon and take the fucking metal rod and just slam it into the ground Not trying to break it, but just cue the fucking um The fucking super hyper like loud bass boosted fucking banging metal pipe noise.
Shain: Yes, I do.
Aragorn: Thank you.
Shain: Yes, I do.
Yinlare: Pay my name second.
Aerendyl: Hello?
Aerendyl: Who goes there?
Yinlare: Work on your evil villain voice a little bit more. About that, are we gonna, do you have another, we probably shouldn’t spend it with a spell slot, should we?
Aragorn: Thank you.
Aerendyl: Who goes there?
Aerendyl: Roar!
Aerendyl: Yeah, you’re right. Well, I’m gonna kind of have to.
DM: When, when, when you win, win, win.
Shain: Yes, I do.
Aerendyl: See, my, my idea was I was going to hide in here and then you, you, you, uh, you, uh, you can do anything, uh, dedicated wham.
Yinlare: You, when you, when, wait, we don’t know when, okay, do I get banger idea, alright. Do you have, do you have disguise self as a spell? Disguise self?
Aragorn: Thank you.
Shain: Why do you think he has alter self?
Aerendyl: What’s that?
Aerendyl: I don’t have Disguise Self.
Yinlare: Okay, um, I can’t, okay, nevermind then ignore my idea. Um, so, I guess I’ll go, like, fucking, hopefully he shows up relatively quickly, I do have plans, um, well, I’m gonna kind of, like, we leave the door open, or do we want to close it, what do we think he would do? He seemed relatively clumsy, like an idiot. I’m gonna kind of, like, point to the bookshelf, I mean the doorway. Like, did he seem clumsy enough to leave it open? So we’ll leave the door open. I’m gonna go stand on the staircase entering into the basement, just kind of stand there in the corner, I don’t know, I’m there anyway. And I’ll alert you to buy the sending stone when he’s on his way in. I kind of come up behind him in case anything happens. Right.
Aerendyl: I mean, if you have plans I can probably take care of this myself. No, I can’t.
Shain: Yes, I do.
Aragorn: Thank you.
Aerendyl: I need you.
Aerendyl: Well, I mean, I was with him for a decent amount of time. I’m pretty sure I can mimic a bumbling fool.
Shain: Yes, I do.
Aragorn: Thank you.
Aerendyl: Um.
Aerendyl: Yeah, he was kind of an idiot.
Aerendyl: He would have left it open.
Aerendyl: Yes.
Shain: What?
Aerendyl: Good.
Aerendyl: And then whenever he gets here, I’ll cast Alter Self and I’ll make myself look like him, and we’ll be good.
Aragorn: Thank you.
Aerendyl: We’ll be great.
Aerendyl: We’ll be great.
Yinlare: In that case, I’m going right upstairs. If there’s like a dark corner I can kind of sit in. What’s even funnier about this is gloomstalker rogue. I’m sitting in darkness. If if he does, nevermind. Well, I was gonna if he doesn’t have dark vision, I’m completely invisible, but if he’s an elf, he does. So, but I’m invisible anyway.
Aerendyl: Yes.
Aragorn: Thank you.
Yinlare: Okay.
Yinlare: Yeah, I’m sitting in this corner. I’m waiting for this fucking guy to show up.
DM: No!
DM: Sorry, I just want to make sure I understand. Dragon, you’re inside the area. You’re leaving the bookshelf open.
Yinlare: He’s inside the basement.
Shain: Oh, my gosh.
Yinlare: I’m up the stairs, like leading into the basement.
DM: And…
Aerendyl: And then I’ll recast Alter Self. I would like to tinker around with the grappling hook mechanic thing that I was working on. Just to see if I can maybe make it better, make it actually work.
DM: Okay.
Aragorn: Thank you.
DM: Um, did you guys want to do anything to keep yourself busy slash occupied or are you guys just going to sit there and wait?
Yinlare: I’m going to enter the building.
DM: Sure.
Aerendyl: Although I still need the fuel source, which are those stones, but I can still work on and make it a little better in the meantime. Yeah, I know, which is why I’m wanting, like, maybe I know this guy.
DM: Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.
Aragorn: Thank you.
DM: Um, after about an hour and a half, so it would now be approximately like 839ish. Um, there does seem to be, well, not seem to be, I’m just thinking you’ve got the passive perception of God and everything else. Um, in there, you do notice a high elf and a cloak enter the odd house.
Aragorn: Thank you.
Yinlare: Okay.
Yinlare: Well, high office, you and me.
Yinlare: Do we have any questions? Wait, were you talking?
Yinlare: Um, you I mean, if Yeah, there’s actually a good chance.
Aerendyl: There’s a good chance.
Yinlare: I guess we’ll have to find out.
Yinlare: Um, in that case, then yeah, I’ll go ahead and kind of grab the sending stone and just like, knows why. And then the second I tell do I get that I’m going to turn and follow him. I’m keeping like within a couple of feet from like within I’m within my range. I’m like four feet. Can I, if I’m taking the time to like sit there and inspect him, can I make a history or whatever to see if I recognize him? Or what I just recognize him at all.
DM: He walks down the stairs and everything and heads towards the bookshelf Kendrell, I told you not to leave this door open.
Aerendyl: I alter self, by the way. Oh, I’m sorry. I recently got here. I was looking at the note, and I walk out.
Aragorn: Thank you.
Shain: Okay.
DM: No, we’re supposed to- We meet inside the room.
Aerendyl: I’m sorry, I’ll move it back.
Aragorn: Thank you.
Aerendyl: Oh, I thought you were mad at me that I left it open, so I was trying to close it to make you happy. I’m sorry, I’ll go back in.
DM: Just, whatever.
Aerendyl: Did I get a good look at the guy, Melfin? Does he look familiar?
DM: Yes, you did.
DM: He doesn’t immediately look familiar now.
DM: Sure.
Aragorn: Thank you.
DM: Make a history check, please. With a six, he seems somewhat familiar, but you can’t place it.
Yinlare: I don’t have good history.
Yinlare: Oh, fuck.
Yinlare: That’s a six.
Aerendyl: I think I do, yeah. Okay, so this is gonna sound weird. These two thugs recently came to my store. They were harassing me. Now, I was wondering why, because they looked exactly like you. They were elves.
Yinlare: Okay, in that case, I’m gonna just kind of keep inspecting him and I’ll do a history check whenever you allow me to do another history check. But if he’s starting to get a little bit schizo, am I allowed to make another history check or is it too soon? Can I make it with advantage?
DM: Okay.
Aragorn: Thank you.
DM: Um, anyways, um, he says, Alright, I’ve got the next shipment at the location.
DM: Uh, do you have the payment for the last shipment? Do you think or do you do?
Shain: Okay.
DM: Uh.
Aragorn: Thank you.
DM: Look, look, I know that you are bad.
DM: Shut up, shut up. I know you have your financial problems. Don’t make them mine. Then give it here. Look, I don’t care about your problems. Did they say my name? I don’t think it’s my name.
Aerendyl: No, I have the money.
Aerendyl: No, I have the money.
Aerendyl: I will. I’m just letting you know that two elves roughed me up.
Aerendyl: They said they were with you.
Shain: He’s a dark elf.
Aragorn: Thank you.
Aerendyl: They said your name specifically, yes. I don’t know, they seem to know a lot about you. They knew how you looked, how you acted, how you spoke. That’s why I believe them. But then they started beating me up.
Shain: He’s a dark elf.
DM: Okay.
Aerendyl: I was like, oh man, that’s why I didn’t show up.
Aerendyl: I was scared that you were behind it, but I did some digging.
DM: Um, sure, sure, because he’s…
Aragorn: Thank you.
DM: No.
Aerendyl: Wait.
Yinlare: Ok, fair enough.
DM: Because he keeps, you know, expressing…
Yinlare: Better, 18. 19 minus 1.
DM: Ooh, 18!
DM: Is that after modifiers?
Shain: Okay.
DM: Okay.
Yinlare: 19 genius.
Aerendyl: No. Flash of Genius 23.
DM: What?
Yinlare: 20 for 30.
DM: Okay, with a 23, you finally do recognize this man. You met him whilst you were serving at war. He was a commonfoot soldier working alongside you. You don’t know anything more than that, though. Unfortunately, you don’t really know him. Yes, but we’ve already discussed this. You did, at minimum, yeah, at minimum you passed by them. I mean, you had to eat.
Aerendyl: Would I know him too? Okay, I was probably after him.
Yinlare: He wouldn’t have been working beside me. He wouldn’t have been working beside me. I was a solo mercenary. I did work at some point with a dragon.
Aragorn: Thank you.
Aerendyl: Hmm.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Hm.
Yinlare: Motherfucking deserter.
Aerendyl: Is he?
Yinlare: That might be your opportunity for a history check, mister. My dad’s in charge of the military. Malphin.
Aragorn: Thank you.
Aerendyl: Yeah, yeah, can I have a history check to see if I’ve ever heard of a name Melvin? Melfin?
DM: Um, you can.
Shain: I was waiting for it.
Yinlare: Wait.
Aerendyl: Shin?
Yinlare: Malphur.
Yinlare: Sin?
Aerendyl: Okay, wait, this is really good. This is a really good roll.
Yinlare: Malphur? You’re waiting on us to do that. Shouldn’t I offer the Malphin building yet?
DM: That’s 27. You are pretty confident, because deserters were of course big news, as, you know, horrible people, you’re pretty confident that the names never showed up in any deserter news or anything like that.
Shain: It took a while.
Shain: Yes. I was waiting on you. So I was not going to do that.
Aerendyl: 27.
Aragorn: Thank you.
Aerendyl: Have I ever heard of his name or like the way he looks and acts?
Aerendyl: Mm-hmm.
Yinlare: Okay.
Aerendyl: But, yeah, they knew your name. They knew everything about you.
DM: Okay, look, we’re gonna have to wrap it up here. I know you have your family here and everything, but we might need to move. It’s sort of. I would never. I don’t know where they are, but sure, go ahead.
Aragorn: Thank you.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: But not them.
Yinlare: Okay.
Aerendyl: Before we get a little too hasty, they said something about you being a deserter. And that’s why they came to me.
Aerendyl: I told them nothing.
Aerendyl: I don’t know why they said that.
Aerendyl: Insight check.
Aerendyl: Insight check.
Aragorn: Thank you.
Aerendyl: Insight check.
Aerendyl: Insight check.
Aerendyl: Fuck!
Yinlare: Can I check him?
Aerendyl: Why’d I have to roll so bad on that one?
DM: Sure, go ahead and roll in and site check as well, although…
Aerendyl: That’s a four.
Yinlare: I’m standing behind him.
Aerendyl: Uh, what?
Yinlare: Am I insetting?
Yinlare: Am I insetting?
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: What’d you say, Nate?
Aerendyl: Uh, you’re inciting me to see if he’s, uh, he said, I said, are you deserter? And he said, I would never.
Yinlare: 21.
Yinlare: Yeah, 21, 15 plus 6.
Aerendyl: Okay.
DM: That’s the only one he’s telling the truth.
Yinlare: Is he, is the insight high enough for me to maybe, is he, he might have said no to that? Is he some other kind of possible criminal? More like, I mean, I mean, like, criminal as in when I would have quote unquote, known it. Because obviously, okay, fair, fair enough.
Aerendyl: So we’re onto something. Okay.
Aragorn: Thank you.
DM: I mean, we know he’s dealing in Dark Elf Children, so at minimum, there’s no way you will be able to glean that information.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Yinlare: I’m fair enough.
Aerendyl: Speaking of the shipment, how many, how many Dark Elves?
Aragorn: Thank you.
DM: Last shipment, there were three. We’re up to six this time, but we’re gonna have to move merchandise. This clearly isn’t working. You said they beat you up. Look, I don’t know who they are, I don’t know who they represent, and if they’re representing who I think they are, then we can’t stay here.
Aerendyl: Is it now?
Yinlare: I’m asking why?
Aerendyl: Okay.
Aerendyl: We’re gonna have to move.
Aerendyl: Um, why do we have to move? If you’re not a deserter, as they said you were, then clearly they don’t have any business with you.
Yinlare: Why are they doing?
Shain: I’ll beat you.
Aerendyl: Well, at least bad business.
Aerendyl: They roughed me up. They didn’t really beat me per se, but they were like shaking me down for information. Of course I didn’t give them any. They seem to know a lot already.
Aragorn: Thank you. Thank you.
Shain: I’ll beat you.
Aerendyl: God?
Yinlare: Okay.
Aerendyl: No.
Aerendyl: Okay, well, uh, one of them had like the sigil on his cloak.
Shain: New line.
Aerendyl: Uh, can I give him not my family sigil, but like… No, I can’t really just do…
DM: You could.
Yinlare: I mean, dragon dragon, you could also you also could do yours because you were in a position of power. You wouldn’t know it’s you specifically and you would scare the shit out of him.
Aerendyl: Can I just do someone else’s family sigil and just be like, fuck you to them and try to get to them?
DM: It’s considered rude, but you could.
Aerendyl: It is considered rude.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Aerendyl: I’ll do my family sigil and be like, he had this on his cloak. This is the best I could do to like, remember it and try to draw it. Okay, so I’ve been practicing trying, I’ve been trying to do some other business. Well, I’ve been really trying to do other things because I kind of suck at my current job and I need to like provide more. For my other habits. Is there any connection between you two that are like, are you enemies or are you friends?
DM: You certainly have a better memory than normal. I’m playing Sudoku. Well, props to you. I guess that’s slightly better. If it’s that family, then we shouldn’t have much to worry about, although I don’t know why they’d be asking about me.
Shain: Flashcards.
Yinlare: But you would have a You wouldn’t know it’s you.
Shain: Yes.
Shain: Wait.
Shain: What did I do?
Shain: What did you- Okay.
DM: …
DM: Well, not really. I served in the military. They’re mostly a military family. I don’t know why they’d be asking about me, though. anything We have to go. No, they might. He might already be outside.
Aerendyl: Yes.
Shain: No.
Shain: You Thank you.
Aerendyl: Um, they, I mean, I will say the other one, the other one, he was very scary. Um, he was, I think he knew what we did or what we’re doing.
Shain: Thank you.
Shain: Thank you.
Shain: Thank you.
Yinlare: describe me to a tee. Oh, do it. Seriously, describe me to a tee. If I’ve seen him in the field that means he’s seen me at some point, and I haven’t changed my clothes at all so not a crossbow, just a normal bow.
Aerendyl: Do I, should I describe you to a T?
Aerendyl: This, this other guy, this other guy with like this weird mask, this dark hood. He had like these angry eyes and like a crossbow. Sorry, just a normal, like a really good bow. Beautiful quiver. And a quarterstaff. Maybe two of them actually. There’s like some weird scratches on his quarterstaff. There’s a lot of them.
Yinlare: Quarterstaff, marked quarterstaff. Not just the marks on the quarterstaff.
Yinlare: That was my kill counter.
Yinlare: If he, oh god.
Aerendyl: Why?
Aerendyl: Who is this man?
DM: You’ve already ruined it!
DM: As he begins to try and cast invisibility.
Yinlare: Okay, I’m just fucking aura checking. I’m just reaching out and putting like wrapping hand around his throat like lifting him like an inch off the ground. Hi, pal.
DM: He’s got boobs.
Aerendyl: I’m a pretty good actor.
Shain: New
DM: Uh, hang on one second.
DM: Hang on, hang on, hang on.
DM: Uh, where’s, where’s with that?
DM: Hang on.
Yinlare: Remember me?
DM: Yes, all right, so that’s gonna be a solid 12 points of psychic damage out of fear.
Aerendyl: I’m just saying.
Aerendyl: No, to him.
Yinlare: No, yeah, literally, if he’d like turns around to like, wow, we need to go turns to cast invisibility, hand around the throat. Fucking like lift him like probably a solid like two, three inches off the ground.
DM: No, to him!
DM: Uh, just remind me, did you have like a code name during the war or did you just go by Yennler?
Aerendyl: Um, I have a question. Is it just him that came or was there two individuals? Okay, um, as soon as the in there does that I’m gonna drop my altar self and just take back my hood and like The dark raven The crow that goes inside doors The crow.
Yinlare: Just um.
Yinlare: I feel like I probably would have, but I’m not going to come up with one off the top my ad.
DM: Yes.
Yinlare: Shoot. It was just him.
DM: It was just him.
Yinlare: Oh, you know what?
Yinlare: Absolutely, you know what? Thanks, Flux, for being here. What did Flux say?
Yinlare: What did you say, Flux?
Yinlare: Fucking, some raisin? That’s kind of like some aura.
DM: The dark crow.
Yinlare: Is that, yeah, Shh.
Yinlare: Darth Revan?
Yinlare: Darth Revan?
DM: It’s over chat.
Aerendyl: The crow that’s allowed in the house.
Shain: An indoor crow.
Yinlare: Dude, I love, butters, you’re just holding that up like a crucifix.
Aerendyl: The indoor crow. Please don’t hurt me, please don’t hurt me, please don’t hurt me, please don’t hurt me. No, a crow’s inside!
DM: Okay, so would you have had a like code name or not?
Yinlare: No, no.
Yinlare: Oh, I probably would have just gone by Windseeker. That was his last name. Probably would have just gone by Windseeker, or The Windseeker, if nobody knew that that was my last name. The only person who knew my last name was Arkhan, so probably The Windseeker.
DM: Gotcha.
Aerendyl: No, a crow’s inside!
DM: Um, in that case, yeah, he just kind of freezes.
DM: He says, no, no, no, no, no, nothing.
Yinlare: The staff is reserved for Dark Elves.
DM: I don’t know why you’re here.
DM: Um, you don’t need to have me to that, to that staff of yours.
Aerendyl: No, a crow’s inside! Oh, he’s dead.
Yinlare: You’re safe from being added to the staff, though your life is still TBD. Can I just reach around, like, left hand reaching out? Can I fist bump Erenda with my right hand? I’m just like, yeah, buddy.
DM: And so, hey, no, no, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Yinlare: Yeah, buddy.
DM: And so he turns back to try and look at Kindrel because he didn’t notice your transformation. He was too busy distracted by that.
Yinlare: Oh, yes, Kendall’s no longer alive. Now, here’s the thing. My word is bombed. I will not kill you as long as you answer the questions given forth.
DM: And he goes, all right, how long has Kindrel not been here?
DM: Of course.
Aerendyl: And so is Lackey, because Lackey is also dead.
Aerendyl: Thank you very much.
Aerendyl: Thank you very much.
DM: Of course, of course I would happily help. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I would never hide anything from you. No, of course not. They would never publicly condone this.
Aerendyl: Thank you very much.
Yinlare: Understood?
Yinlare: Excellent.
Yinlare: I’m gonna like release him.
Yinlare: Before I release you, my reaction times are a lot faster than yours. One cast of a spell and I’ll impale you on the staff before you can take a breath.
Aerendyl: In there. May I ask him a simple question? Are you here under the orders of our own government?
Yinlare: Understood.
Yinlare: Go right ahead. Yes, what are you doing here?
Aerendyl: Okay, so what are you doing in town?
Aerendyl: Well, we recently just won the war, so… He seems to be locked up.
Yinlare: What are you doing here?
Yinlare: I’ll release him and just kind of drop him back.
Aerendyl: He can’t really think anymore.
Aerendyl: Butter timed out. His dad walked in like the fool he is.
DM: I apologize.
Yinlare: Oh.
Aerendyl: Or was it his, uh, the other fool that’s in the house?
Yinlare: You’re good.
Aerendyl: Joey, not the drunkard.
Yinlare: I’m gonna drop him.
Yinlare: I’m just gonna go reminder, no spells and I will not kill you if you answer the question. So remember, stay honest. Now, what are you doing in time? Oh, I’m sure anything. Just children, though. You know, the one, at least, dark elf resource that we basically universally agree children are not to be touched or harmed. That’s what you’ve been dealing with. Let’s get back to the questioning. Look, let’s continue with the questioning. So we’ve been dealing with the trade, at least, right? What have you been shipping them off to?
DM: Okay, well, as I’m sure you know, we’ve recently won the war, but those filthy dark elves refused to die, so they split off and retreated most of them through the mountains to the north. I couldn’t allow them to just survive like that, so I’ve been hunting them down. I’m sure you’d approve. Well, it doesn’t really matter the age. They’re all dark elves, are they not? There’s no need for that, I don’t understand. We’re all on the same side here. The elves are mostly selling them as slaves to the Snowveld, and there’s pretty much anybody anywhere that would accept them. They’re too… death is too merciful, I’ve come to realize.
Aerendyl: Thanks to our efforts. I said we cut off his ears. Make him lose his elven pride.
Aerendyl: Mhm.
Shain: Dolphin pride.
Shain: Dude.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Now, now be honest with me, be honest with, you know, be honest with yourself.
Shain: Hillary Clinton.
Yinlare: That’s a bit low.
DM: Why?
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Why?
Aerendyl: Why go out of your way to do business with these filthy humans?
Aerendyl: Like Kedrel?
DM: You know, Slippery is still in the gray area of the law. I can’t publicly do these acts. Oh please, he’s my least favorite contact.
Aerendyl: Really?
Aerendyl: Him?
Aerendyl: But, like, you could have chosen anyone.
Yinlare: Where are you receiving them from? Because I know you’re not the one out doing the dirty work. What are these like-minded individuals?
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Was?
DM: Was.
Aerendyl: You’ll be meeting him soon.
DM: Thanks by the way. There’s plenty of other contacts that I have in the city, and other cities as well. I was, but after about a month, I found some like-minded individuals.
Aerendyl: Sorry, that was a threat.
Aerendyl: Butter, as he says this, can I start writing a note to send to Thalasseril? Okay, I’m gonna send exactly what happened, or exactly what’s happening in this conversation, and then I just want to at the end of it, just want to write down. What are your thoughts on this? Just to see where the last rule stands right now. Because they’re in a moment where they have like a lot of power for their nation at the moment. So I wonder if they’re going to go down like a darker path or. Yeah, Zerusil’s fucking gone. Yeah, we fucking eradicated them.
Shain: Sinister six.
Shain: Excellent.
DM: Sure.
Shain: Okay.
DM: Oh, by the way, I don’t know why this map still shows Zerasyl that even exists. It doesn’t exist anymore. I’m just not realizing that it shows up.
Shain: Okay.
DM: I mean, I don’t know all the names. There’s many of them.
Yinlare: Who are they?
Aerendyl: Well, name some of them that you know. So, there’s you.
Shain: I got webs. Name every dark elf. You’re a dark elf fan name every single one of them.
Yinlare: The people you interact with. What time is it, Butter?
DM: Name every single dark elf. Uh, he showed up at, uh, he said like nine.
Yinlare: What time did he show up?
Aerendyl: Yeah, no.
Yinlare: Okay, so we need to make this relatively quick. I’m publicly inside check.
Aerendyl: No.
DM: I mean, no, the government could never publicly condone this.
Aerendyl: Now, just to be 100% certain, you weren’t lying about the whole.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: You’re not like taking orders from our government, right?
Aerendyl: Good.
Aerendyl: Well, publicly. Or, not receiving help. He might be receiving some like, help. Taxes, am I right?
Yinlare: I want to inside check if he’s telling the truth about not receiving the 25. He’s hiding something from the government?
DM: Um, while he’s telling the truth that he hasn’t received any direct orders, he does seem to be hiding something from the government, more or less, if that makes sense. No, like, basically he’s not telling the complete truth when he says that he’s…
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Um, because personally, I’m not a big fan of the government.
DM: He’s a big fan of the government. He’s a big fan of the government. I actually have experienced that more. But no, of course not. Look, okay, I don’t understand what this is even all about. Why don’t you guys agree that the Dark Elves are the scum of the Earth?
Yinlare: Um, sorry about that.
Yinlare: Anyway, sorry.
Yinlare: Um, 30 on 30 on the video. Um, okay. In that case, I’m just gonna like, slowly, peacefully, I’m gonna look over at Arendelle.
Aerendyl: Yes.
Aerendyl: Oh, yes. So, he likes to yell very loudly saying, I don’t like it when you lie to me, whilst proceeding to stab his quarterstaff into some part of your body.
Yinlare: Arendelle, do you mind, um, warning our friend here what happens to people who lie to me? Do You ever have a blunt metal object pierced through flesh? Is that something you want to experience? Do you want to experience it again? Yes, and otherwise I would typically agree. However, kind of taking an oath of healing them, not giving them the ability to start anew, and, as I stated previously, dealing exclusively in children, kind of a…
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Wanna see me do it again?
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Then I suggest you don’t hide any truth. Didn’t you literally just say you dealt exclusively in children?
Shain: Okay.
DM: …
DM: I don’t deal exclusively in children.
Shain: Okay.
DM: …
DM: I deal exclusively in Dark Elves. The ages of no consequence.
Yinlare: But primarily children, right?
DM: …
DM: Well, they are what happened to be what survived the final eradication, so…
Shain: The final shape. Okay.
DM: …
Aerendyl: Yes.
DM: Yes, it happens to be a majority of children. That’s all that’s left.
Yinlare: Yes.
DM: What?
DM: Would you prefer that I just ignore them? Let them found another nation? Let them disgrace our group?
DM: For what purpose?
Aerendyl: Do you not know why we don’t touch the kids? You know why we leave them alone? So they can grow up to hate us and fight back and lose miserably, and we can once again assert dominance. We already are. Also, they can’t even affect the last rule anymore.
DM: Why?
Yinlare: Or…
DM: But wouldn’t it feel good to always have dominance? To always be the winner?
Yinlare: No.
Yinlare: There’s no winner.
DM: No need for loss of life?
Yinlare: There’s no one left, also.
Yinlare: Last little…
DM: …
Aerendyl: They’re no longer there.
Aerendyl: They can no longer harm the environment. Who’s going to back them up?
DM: Until they rise up again and they slaughter us like they did last time.
Yinlare: Let me ask you this.
Shain: Okay.
DM: …
DM: They needed me back up when they killed my family.
Yinlare: You think I haven’t lost people? First of all, children do not regain strength and instantly start hunting. That’s not how it works. Second of all, they are not always dark. Their hatred towards this is a result of their government. I mean, Arendelle met a mom and a daughter.
DM: …
Aerendyl: It’s not a string.
Shain: Because I hate you.
DM: So why would you want them to regain strength?
Shain: Mind you.
DM: …
Aerendyl: I’m still conflicted. I’m still conflicted about the whole letting them go, per se, but… Well, I know, I know, I know, but it’s still a conflict inside of me, you know? I mean, he’s got a point. We grew up hating them and killing them all. That was mainly the adults.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: We let them live.
DM: And you are traitors more so than I am.
Yinlare: You told me not to.
Yinlare: Look.
Yinlare: And that’s what we were told.
DM: …
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Not.
Aerendyl: It was never children.
Yinlare: Look, you’ve dabbled in places you do not deserve to dabble in. Children are not the people in charge. They’re not the ones that are going to do the harm. Also, if you’re worried about a child, you have bigger issues you need to check out. Now, do you have any other information that you want to give us before we come down to the verdict?
Aerendyl: So maybe that’s why.
Aerendyl: I think…
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
Aerendyl: I think he has an inferiority complex.
Yinlare: Certainly.
Shain: Okay.
DM: …
DM: If you truly think that what I’m doing is wrong, then you are the ones who have failed, not I. … … … …
Yinlare: As I stated previously, do you have any other information or things that you want to give to us before we come to the verdict?
Aerendyl: I’m gonna walk up to him and be like, as I write that last bit down, can you sign here? Oh, I’m actually not contacting him. I’m contacting my friend.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Okay.
DM: …
Aerendyl: Jeez.
DM: …
DM: …
Aerendyl: What do you think I am? A nepo baby?
DM: …
Shain: What?
Aerendyl: Fucking idiot.
Shain: Yes.
Aerendyl: Try telling your name here? I’m not like… Okay, now that I have your signature, I have your wounds. What are your thoughts on this matter? I’m just gonna send this to him. See what’s happening.
DM: …
Shain: Okay.
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
Yinlare: I’m going to like, just kind of, so your, um, you’re done then. That’s all the information you’ve got to give.
Aerendyl: If they agree, then that’s cool.
DM: …
Aerendyl: If not, that’s cool.
Shain: Okay.
DM: …
Aerendyl: It’s not my choice.
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
Aerendyl: Okay.
DM: …
Yinlare: I want to make an insight.
DM: …
Yinlare: Is it possible for me to make an insight check to see like, is there any other information of value that I could push out of him?
DM: …
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: You know what I mean?
Yinlare: Is there anything else that he has that is of value? Can I make an insight check to see that? Well, let’s just be like, I know.
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
Yinlare: Right.
DM: …
Yinlare: Okay, so then here’s what’s going to happen.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: I’m going to give you one more opportunity here. Because some people, myself, you know my efforts in the war, I can show you a fate much, much, much worse than death. Do you want to take that risk, or do you want to spill your guts?
Aerendyl: Thank you.
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
Yinlare: Excellent.
DM: … …
Shain: Okay.
DM: …
Yinlare: Here’s what I’m going to do, butter. I want to, what is this?
DM: …
Yinlare: Wasn’t a 15 foot cube? I’m going to take my quarterstaff, and I want to sweep his feet out from under him. Knock him on his ass. And then I want to take the…
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
Aerendyl: As he’s doing this, I would like to leave the area so I can go send that message to…
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
Yinlare: Yes, Dragon?
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
Yinlare: I want to take the end of my quarterstaff and ram it into his chest. Not kill him. I do want to break a couple of ribs. But I don’t want to kill him. I don’t want to ram it through his fucking rib cage. I just want to maybe crack his sternum and whatnot. Then what I’m going to do is as the quarterstaff is resting in the center of his chest, I want to use silent image and in combination with minor illusion if I can to make it look any more realistic. This like ink almost just kind of spreading out from the base of the staff kind of onto him. I want to make it look like his flesh is slowly converting to that of a dark elf. All right. Like, I’m… If it’s as realistic as possible, there should be no way realistically he can see through it. Unless, like, if he does, um, then oh well, I’ll just, you know, oh well. But, realistically, his hatred for dark elves should be greater than his disdain for us. That’s kind of what I’m getting at here. Plus, I just want to see what happens, because it’s funny.
DM: … …
Aerendyl: Yes.
Shain: Okay.
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
Aerendyl: Thank you.
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
Shain: Okay.
DM: …
Aerendyl: That is fucked.
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
Aerendyl: That’s like turning a white man black. Sorry. Why not? Oh, I’m gone. I went outside. Yeah, so I don’t see any of this.
Shain: Okay.
DM: …
DM: …
DM: Can I know the purpose of this action? What are you trying to get from this man?
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
Shain: Okay.
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
DM: …
DM: Hey!
Yinlare: .
DM: Well, whenever you hit him in the stomach slash chest area before he, you know, notices what magic you’re attempting to do he just kind of coughs and says A high elf would never give in under torture Don’t you the one that taught us that? He looks down and says, what kind of dark magic is this?
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: . .
Yinlare: I’m going to point downwards at his chest or the where the staff is currently resting, where I kind of like I said that ink is beginning to spread.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: You’re fully correct, though it’s not looking to me like you’re much of a high elf anymore. We all keep our secrets to our souls. Some of the things we’re capable of we keep under deep wraps. Now, unless you want this to continue, have you changed your mind about releasing that information to us? Do you think anyone would believe you? Be shunned, rejected, if not killed or made a slave yourself. The only thing is, I’ve never really gotten along with government agencies. The only one I’ve actually, you know, agreed with to some extent is I’m going to kind of point to this one right here.
DM: Pun intended. Regardless of my outward appearance, I am a high elf. Do not spill my secrets. I do not give in under torture of any kind. I kill myself if this is irreversible. What you have done is reprehensible, even by our own government standards.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: There you are.
Shain: Okay.
DM: Yes.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Oh, that’s right, you did lead. I still gesture to nothing. I still gesture to nothing.
Shain: Let’s look at the smoking rate.
DM: He does not seem like he’s going to give you any information.
Yinlare: If there’s no other information we can get out of you. I respect and commend your information. I commend it.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: And that is true. I’m not lying.
Shain: In the region.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Yinlare: I like you. Don’t give it under pressure.
DM: It’s going to be stone, yeah, because this is a basement.
Yinlare: And I’m going to kind of lift him up. I’m going to continue channeling silent image. How long does this last? Up to 10 minutes. Awesome. Um, I’m gonna what are the walls here made of stone? Is this a like, does it feel like a relatively weak stone or could I stick like a ram my quarterstaff and a couple inches into it to make it stick?
Shain: Okay.
DM: You probably could, especially since it’s old, it’s not been kept up with magnets or not, yeah.
Yinlare: Okay.
Yinlare: Um, in that case, what I’m going to do is I’m going to, I’m going to kind of turn behind me a little bit and just um, I don’t know if you whenever you’re done with that, if you do not mind coming back in here.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Yinlare: And after that, I’m going to push him against the wall. And I’m going to take the quarterstaff and ram it through the side of his gut and kind of pin him to the wall with it. I’m, I am lifting him up, pressing against the wall and using my quarterstaff I’m ramming it through his gut and pinning him to the wall. Then I’m gonna use ascending stone and I’m gonna tell Arendelle to basically hurry up and get back in here.
DM: Repeat that.
Aerendyl: Do I even hear it?
Aerendyl: Because I’m outside. Or did you send this like a message to the sending stone?
DM: Can you repeat what you just said?
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Okay.
DM: Okay.
DM: Well, Aaron’s out.
DM: Back to you.
DM: After you send your message, and you’re just outside while this whatever is happening inside, you get a response as a leaf floats down from a nearby tree at your feet. It reads, The government has no official stance on this act. We’ve been aware for a while.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Yinlare: Oh.
Shain: Okay.
DM: However, many encourage such behavior.
Aerendyl: I’m going to write back and just say, I see…
DM: …
Yinlare: That’s fucked.
DM: Right?
Yinlare: Yeah, when you come back down, I literally just basically can our newly converted dark alpha is kind of pinned up to the wall literally rammed through the gut. I’m gonna kind of, um, I have a gift for you, my friend.
Aerendyl: That’s it.
Aerendyl: And then I’m going to head back down.
DM: …
Aerendyl: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Shain: Okay.
DM: …
Aerendyl: Don’t you think this is taking a little too far?
Aerendyl: He’s still…
Yinlare: Is he?
Aerendyl: Still our race. But can I tell that’s magic?
DM: Um, I would think you should be able to, yes. I guess technically yes, but…
Yinlare: I think he has to make an intelligence check against my spell save, DC. 14.
Aerendyl: Which is…
Yinlare: Yeah, so you do recognize that that’s magic. Doesn’t look that way to me. Um, all right.
Aerendyl: 18 plus 8.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Well clearly, you casted that oven on himself.
Aerendyl: No one can change races without magic.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: This is a little dark, even for you. At the end of the day, yes, did he do some shady shit?
DM: Okay.
Shain: Just ask Shane.
Shain: He was an old man.
Aerendyl: Yes.
Aerendyl: But he’s still…
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: still one of us.
Aerendyl: And you know from the text itself it says, do not harm your fellow man.
Aerendyl: Or in this case, elf.
Aerendyl: Well, hi elf.
Aerendyl: Or half elf. Or elf elf. Snowdark elves.
Shain: I honestly forgot you guys were dark or no, you’re on dark else.
DM: Okay.
Aerendyl: Hi elves.
Shain: What are you guys?
Shain: All right.
Yinlare: I’m going to kind of, like, look at Dwagon and just kind of nod. And I’m going to turn, I’m going to pull the quarterstaff out of the wall, kind of run it down the length of like my arm to kind of clean the blood off, and I’m gonna reach up and I’m gonna break his neck.
Aerendyl: Hi elf.
DM: Okay.
Yinlare: Well, well, yes, you are typically true on that statement. Women and children are where I draw the line, considering that this is what he’s been dabbling with. I can’t stand by and commend that. What authorities? The authorities here? The authorities who care about themselves more than actually…
Shain: Okay.
DM: You’ve killed him.
Aerendyl: Hi
Aerendyl: elf. We still could have given him two authorities. Let him rot.
DM: Okay.
Aerendyl: Snowfowl.
Aerendyl: He said he did business in Snowfowl and we haven’t seen the authorities there. Could have dragged him along. But instead you’ve put him down.
Yinlare: They could have.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Well deserved in my regard.
Yinlare: Not.
Yinlare: That’s not something that I’m going to let normal authorities take care of and eventually release him. Hatred of Dark Elves is a quite universal belief. And yes, while I do think that there is some nature to it, obviously I’ve killed hundreds if not thousands myself, this is not something that I’m going to stand by and watch. Women, children are untouchable and considering that this has been his main source of business for some time, he deserves to rot like they do. I ask you why you do not see so eye to eye with me on this. But we had after especially after that last one, we had come to I’m still pretty confident with who I am. I never grew up under that rule that oath. And while yes, I understand it to be true. Most of the time. There are always exceptions to the rule and I’m just going to pick up my quarterstaff and walk out.
DM: Okay.
Aerendyl: I’ll take care of the body.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Just…I’d like to be alone.
DM: Okay.
Aerendyl: For now.
Aerendyl: Well, I agree with you. Women, children, don’t cross that line. But at the end of the day, he was still one of us and I was born and raised under that rule. And if we break that rule, we lose who we are. A proud member of the last round.
Shain: Okay.
DM: Thank you very much.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: …
Yinlare: And I’m just going to literally walk up like outside kind of ran my quarterstaff in the dirt and lean against it and wait for him.
Aerendyl: …
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: …
Aerendyl: …
Aerendyl: …
Aerendyl: …
Aerendyl: This is rough.
DM: New paragraph. Thank you very much
Aerendyl: …
Aerendyl: …
Aerendyl: What I’d like to do…
Aerendyl: is that I too Walking. Is there like a of woods nearby.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: You Thank you.
Aerendyl: Thank you.
Aerendyl: How far?
Aerendyl: Damn!
Yinlare: I’m going to go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and go ahead and Thank you.
Aerendyl: Damn.
DM: for having me here. Thank you very much.
Aerendyl: Okay then.
DM: Keep in mind where you are is a mostly frozen like tundra. There’s not much like living stuff here.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Then we’re like right here, right? Can I go to like, yeah, we’re like right here. Or like right here. I would like to go, preferably it’s like the edge over here, and I would like to just bury him in like a dirt mat. I’m not gonna put like a thing on it or anything because he was still an asshole but since he’s he has the same race discount he at least gets a burial with no love though you know it’s just like a moral thing for Arendelle I’ll make my way back and there’s definitely a mood change not like a I Just like I’m gonna change. Just like a base. Just a difference. Difference in opinion, but no hatred, you know? I’ll make my way back and…
DM: Specifically, you are hoping and where are we here right here in this building.
DM: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
DM: Okay.
DM: Just bury them.
DM: Okay.
DM: I understand.
Shain: Okay.
DM: Okay.
DM: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
DM: Of course.
DM: So what a what’s your plan now what you guys gonna do.
Yinlare: Second, he rejoins me. I’m not going to say anything. I’m just going to nod and begin talking. Dragon, there’s no way you just did an actual full knee slap. There is no way you just did an actual full knee slap. There is no way you just did an actual full knee slap. There is no way you just did an actual full knee slap. There is no way you just did an actual full knee slap. There is no way you just did an actual full knee
Aerendyl: The warehouse?
DM: Okay.
Aerendyl: I’ll follow.
Shain: Okay.
DM: Whenever you get to the anger anger. Okay. Whenever you get to the warehouse. And I assume you knock and enter um I woke up and we know her. Oh Anyways, whenever you enter the You That’s nice Where does the Z go? Okay, okay back to the plot at hand because it’s way too late But you kind of enter and she says I’ve made arrangements as per your request the waiting just out of town to the north Yes, final price came up to $12.50.
Aerendyl: Hang her. I barely know her. Oh, since I kind of just carried his body on my shoulder, my clothes are probably just covered in blood. I was about to say, that’s a very stripper name.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Diamond. Ruby.
Aerendyl: Sapphire with a Z. Zapphire.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Ruby.
Aerendyl: Ruby.
Yinlare: slap. There is no way you just
Aerendyl: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: did an actual full knee slap. There is no way you just did an actual full knee slap.
Yinlare: There is no way you just did an actual full knee slap. There is no way I think. This is where I continue my journey alone. I don’t want your memory of me to be held back by this event.
Aerendyl: I’m starting them.
Aerendyl: Hello.
DM: Yes, final price came up to $12
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Okay.
DM: .50. Yes, final price came up to $12.50.
DM: Yes, final price came up to $12
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Hey.
DM: .50. Yes, final price came up to $12.50.
Aerendyl: I never said anything about him like I didn’t see he had it coming. It’s just a difference of opinion. I don’t see you any differently.
Yinlare: I understand.
Shain: But I do.
DM: Yes, final price came up to $12
Yinlare: I appreciate it.
Aerendyl: Clearly, your views are your own. My views are mine.
Aerendyl: Either way, what’s done is done.
Yinlare: I’m sure that this is, if I’m able to get there overnight, then this is where my road ends with you, and this is where I’ll find her, or I’ll die trying, and I’ll start a new life one way or another. From one honor-bound elf to another, I’m sure you understand, this is a journey I have to take alone.
Aerendyl: I said I would help you with this journey. Are you sure you want to split up?
DM: .50. Yes, final price came up to $12.50.
Shain: Okay.
DM: Yes, final price came up to $12
Aerendyl: I see.
Yinlare: I’m gonna hand, um, I’m gonna hand the wagon like a long wooden bag, or like almost like a duffel bag.
DM: .50. Yes, final price came up to $12.50.
Yinlare: Open it when I’ve, once I’ve walked. New line.
DM: Yes, final price came up to $12
Aerendyl: Okay.
Shain: Okay.
DM: .50. Yes, final price came up to $12.50.
DM: Yes, final price came up to $12
Yinlare: New line.
Yinlare: New line. Put an end to this whole Dark Elf trading business before you return. I’m gonna, um, I’m just gonna tap the top of the bag that I handed you, and just, that’ll help. Good luck, friend. And I’m just gonna turn, and I’m gonna start walking to the edge of town. Yes.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: I don’t know if I have the strength to do it alone. I’m just one man after all.
DM: .50. Yes, final price came up to $12.50.
Aerendyl: Okay.
DM: Yes, final price came up to $12
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: Get in there.
Aerendyl: Get in there.
Aerendyl: I reach out my hand for a handshake. Like, like, like one of those, like, where you grab like the arm and shit.
Yinlare: Oh, yeah.
DM: .50. Yes, final price came up to $12.50.
Yinlare: And I will?
Aerendyl: Find her.
Yinlare: I will.
Yinlare: And you have the stone. You’re always able to reach out to me.
Aerendyl: If you do, if you do end up living, please use the orb.
Yinlare: Let me know when you’re getting married.
Yinlare: I’ll be the one to join.
Shain: The orb of power.
DM: Yes, final price came up to $12
Yinlare: I will.
Aerendyl: Let us know.
Yinlare: And if you ever end up meeting up with her and getting married for real, I’m happy to be the man to do it if you’d have me. Enjoy and good luck my man.
Aerendyl: I am looking forward to it.
DM: .50. Yes, final price came up to $12.50.
Aerendyl: You too.
DM: Okay, I just realized something. From now on, anytime you guys use the orb of zoom, like, you know, it’s gonna be like super like secret like top secret thing. And he’s like sneaking through a mansion and they just, hey, so I just killed a dude. And that seems like a great place to end session. But real quick.
Yinlare: I’ll leave.
Yinlare: What?
Aerendyl: No reason. So I just killed a motherfucking guy and like, dude, what the fuck?
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Now.
Yinlare: Wait, wait, wait.
Aerendyl: So he’s gone and I’m alone.
Aerendyl: Oh, yeah.
Yinlare: Do I gotta open the bag?
DM: Oh right, we’re right.
Aerendyl: As he goes, I’m going to go back to the warehouse. And since I am now the owner. Walk my shit into that office, sit my ass down and open that shit up.
DM: We’re
DM: right. We’re right Thank you.
DM: Thank you.
DM: Thank you.
DM: Uh-huh.
Shain: Okay.
Yinlare: Inside the bag is a combination of three things. A money bag, two arm blades, the two I had remaining, which, dragon, these are basically the Cyberpunk mantis blades. And at the bottom of the bag is my bow. I’m gone. Badass.
Aerendyl: No, no, no, no, no.
DM: I absolutely love the fact that whenever you said it’s a combination of three things, my brain went straight to KFC Pizza at Taco Bell. Well, my guy is rolling in the door. Yep. By the way, Dragon, if you quickly minimize your character sheet and zoom out the map real quick, this was his ride right here. This is where he’s going.
Shain: Okay.
Aerendyl: This is your ball.
Aerendyl: This ball is yours.
Aerendyl: You sly slut.
Shain: Mm hmm.
Aerendyl: I was about to say fat ass.
Shain: That’s how I feel.
Yinlare: Sorry.
Yinlare: But yeah, you have two arm blades, the oath bow, and the money back has 12,000 gold pieces on it.
Aerendyl: Damn.
Aerendyl: 20?
Yinlare: 12,000.
Aerendyl: 12.
Aerendyl: Okay.
Aerendyl: Let’s go see.
Aerendyl: 12.
Shain: Mm hmm.
Aerendyl: Alrighty.
Aerendyl: I guess that’s where we’re going to end our session.
Aerendyl: That’s like, that’s like the best and worst way to say goodbye.
Yinlare: What?
Aerendyl: Is it just a giant fucking bird? And I missed out on you.
DM: It’s a giant eagle, yeah?
DM: Well, not giant eagle according to 5e, it’s like giant giant eagle. I’m scared to say it, so no.
Yinlare: Wait, so, butter, would you, would you, butter, butter, would you say it’s massive?
Shain: Mm hmm.
Aerendyl: So Nate’s mom.
Aerendyl: Say it again.
Shain: Shut up.
Yinlare: Would you say it’s massive?
Shain: Don’t do anything.
Aerendyl: But just say it’s massive.
Shain: Don’t do anything.
DM: Yes. Ah, that was fantastic.
Shain: Don’t do anything. Fantastic.
Aerendyl: I can’t, people are sleeping.
Yinlare: He was gonna say a low taper fade.
Aerendyl: No!
Aerendyl: Deeper fade. So, say it again. So here’s the thing.
Yinlare: Okay. Are you there again?