Shain: Yo, what’s good, Mr. DM Bot?
Shain: Welcome to the chat.
Shain: This is session 52.
Aragorn: Oh my goodness, guys, guys, guys. A reasonable interruption. Universal is gonna have How to Train Your Dragon meet and greets. Yeah, Dart is gonna be the meet and greet character. So it’s gonna be the son of Nightwing and then the white bitch. We commit mass arson. No, on purpose. Oopsie. No, I think it’s better to run away from your crimes.
Shain: Sign me up.
DM: It was a crazy So, um, do you all remember what happened last session? More or less yes, you commit on your boats.
Shain: Night ring.
Shain: That’s actually gonna be fire. Hmm By accident not actually it was on purpose it was on purpose But we didn’t want to I didn’t want to go through the trouble of explaining Oh, we were out in the middle of the captain’s see and they all just fell off board.
Shain: Oops.
Shain: Yeah, they’re not gonna believe us It’s better just avoid the situation because if I’ve learned anything it’s better to ask for forgiveness and permission Yeah, that’s true Yeah, I gave her 1k and one of the earrings in my I don’t know what year it was but it was an ear I’m hearing this man. I need some new drip Yeah Yeah We were like, I think what was gonna happen is we were gonna go back to Discernia to try and get like try transportation To get to judicar. I think that’s yeah because judicar used to be Luanda or whatever it was or no. Yes Yeah, yes, sir. Yes, sir. So I’m so glad I still remember like your names and stuff. I feel like I’m actually After a couple months of doing this, I’m fully enveloped. So it’s nice But yeah, that’s I think that’s what our plan was. Also, I never actually opened the box or what was in it Yeah, oh she emptied the Gotcha.
DM: Okay.
DM: So, you guys then fly over to here, where you guys kind of said your goodbyes to Nereese. You gave her some gold she gave you. Oh, and your earring.
DM: Yeah.
Aragorn: Thank you.
DM: And she gives you back the box. And so she went back to Disernia. As you guys, I believe you guys said you were going to make your way where? Because I think we just ended session with you guys about to be on your way. Mm hmm. No. I did tell you that you saw her and talked about all of the contents into another bag, but you never actually opened it to, like, check or anything. The contents. She just wanted to give you the box from when it appeared.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: Well, that’s fair. I mean, whatever is in there is probably hers anyway. And you know, she was around me for a while. She probably would pick up if I had any knowledgeable stuff. She grew up right. She kind of she grew up. She grew up a lot. Anyways, yeah, I guess assuming before we go and it’s our time I’ll just peek in the box and see what’s in there but for now I don’t think I think that’s literally where we left off I don’t think much else happened I know you’re good I’m also trying to figure out how the spell storing ring Oh, it contains 1d6 levels of stored spells chosen by the DM when found. There aren’t any.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
DM: Yeah?
DM: Yeah?
Aragorn: New
Aragorn: paragraph. New paragraph.
DM: No?
DM: Nope.
DM: Um.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
DM: Ah, so. Sorry, one second. I’m just now realizing that I have this named wrong, and this is bothering me one second.
DM: Yeah, well, pause it too.
Aragorn: New
Aragorn: paragraph. New paragraph.
DM: You know, yeah, I’m going to be entirely honest. So no, first of all, remember my wonderful notes? Well, we’ve been having power outages here. We fixed them because it was because too much power draw on the same circuit, whatever, whatever, whatever. But essentially, when the power cut out, there goes all my notes. So I lost the notes. The power also cut out because it cut out that night. So right after we got off, the power got lost. So we lost the notes, we lost the recording. I lost, I lost everything that I had planned, so everything that I have in my notes is from memory. Not great. So now that you reminded me, I did have spells written down. I don’t anymore. So they will operate under, I’m pretty sure, they operate under the same type of rules as when made by an artificer. So you can just put your own spells into it.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Shain: Yeah.
Shain: Oh, oh.
Aragorn:
Aragorn: New paragraph. New paragraph.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Shain: Oh.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Shain: That’s all right.
Shain: It could be worse. You could have nothing.
Shain: Okay.
Aragorn:
Aragorn: New paragraph. New paragraph.
Shain: Yeah, yeah. One, you can have up to five levels worth of spells in the thing at a time, and I can just release it as an action. It’s essentially another spell slot, basically.
DM: Yep.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
DM: More or less.
Shain: Yeah.
Shain: You can cast any spell store in it. Spell save DC is the same as the original, but otherwise okay.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Shain: Yeah.
Shain: So it’s literally the, I mean, yeah, I can’t attend to it yet anyway, but I will when I have a moon it, a moon it, but anyways, yeah, I think that’s pretty much it. I don’t think there’s anything else that happened. Um, so me and Andrew are just walking back trying to be nonchalant about going into the Cernia and keeping, I’m going to keep an eye out specifically with my Crow. Um, like, are there any guards? Are there any people like in front of this or any of that actually want like entrance in, you know what I mean? Like people who are verify your name here, please with the city council of registered blah, blah, blah. You know what I mean? Okay, um, also, just to clarify, I also gave her the thing that, uh, Aaron Dell made the basically Skype with delay. Um, yeah, so just as a side note, in case, yeah, I, yeah, because, uh, that’s how, the only way we’re going to really stay in contact with her.
DM: Okay.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
DM: Gotcha.
DM: Well, as you, as you kind of get close, nothing seems, there don’t seem to be any checkpoints or anything like that. So you don’t really need to worry too much about that.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
DM: Yes.
DM: You know what, thank you for reminding me of that because I did not have that written down and I want to make sure that is written down.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
DM: Work of Zoom.
Shain: What?
Shain: All right. Um, I mean, as long as I don’t see anything, I’ll just look over as we’re walking. I’m assuming it’s like this area that we’re in, we’re walking through is like grassy, just kind of a plains biome with some trees off in the distance.
DM: Okay.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
DM: Uh, yeah.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Shain: Okay.
DM: Um, there’s some trees off in the distance. Most of this area is either farmland or just flat, uh, like plains type stuff. If you knew of her existence, um… I think time wizard, uh, actually…
Shain: What do you think of Lariana’s right now? Do you think I could go visit Mrs. Reed? The time wizard, I can just open up the notes.
Aragorn: New
Aragorn: paragraph. New paragraph.
Shain: Oh, I’m sorry.
DM: Thank you.
Shain: I’m sorry.
Shain: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
DM: Thank you.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Shain: So I’m just like, over at a gesture and be like, this is always an adventure. And I’m so glad we are finally back on land after this freaking long trip that took way too long and everyone died. I’m glad you made it. I’m glad we made it. And since this is your home, I mean, not probably here, because this isn’t where we need to be, I don’t believe. You should really lead the way here, I think, because I haven’t I’ve never been here. I haven’t been in this place apparently. I’m in a whole different timeline.
DM: Thank you.
DM: Thank you.
DM: Thank you.
DM: Thank you.
DM: Thank you.
DM: Thank you.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
DM: New paragraph.
Shain: Vague memory.
DM: You, from what you had done, according to what I remember of your, um, thing, for the most part, no. Uh, you, you would know the general layout, but you wouldn’t, like, remember too much, cause you started here, you ran up to Intellectia. So you would be familiar with Intellectia, but not very much with this or any other than, like, maybe seeing passing maps or whatever, and the fact that you left out of this port. So, you’ve been here before, but you’re not, like, familiar with where the nearest McDonald’s is.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Shain: Thank you.
Aragorn: New paragraph. New paragraph.
Shain: Well, if we’re both completely lost, then I guess it’s better to be lost together. I say we get a horse, or horses, or wagon, whatever.
DM: You did?
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Aragorn: We already bought a horse. Yeah, didn’t we buy two horses? I literally told butter, I was like, can I do the thing now? I was like, can I buy a horse?
Shain: We did?
Shain: Oh, we did. No, we didn’t.
Shain: Did we?
Shain: Oh, oh, yeah.
DM: Um, sure, sure, yeah, um, they bought two horses. Alright, you guys now have two horses, congratulations. Uh, well, you have, um, you, you, you have, uh, there’s your, your horse. All right. Your horse is a wonderful, um, like all, you know, um, uh, you know, uh, uh, uh, uh, orange horse. Short, short, uh, with, with, with a black mane. Very, very pretty. Yes, light brown, but it looks orange. Uh, and, um, the other more different one is a, like a dark brown, uh, spotted, uh, horse.
Aragorn: Yeah.
Shain: I was drinking water and I expected like, oh yes, meet the whatever his name is, and then I was just drinking water and got jump scared and I don’t know why.
Aragorn: Yeah.
Aragorn: Meat to meat.
Shain: No.
Aragorn: Thanks.
Shain: Where did you get these horses, Erica?
Aragorn: I’m a king after all, my friend.
Shain: We were just on the way, they just appeared. A horse is bowed to your command. Oh, yeah, I know what you’re talking about. Yeah. Yeah, in the sunlight. Okay, which one are you going to? Which means we gotta go all the way through here and then, well, do we want to go through there’s a reason why they cut right there and that’s either because trade route or big bad scary evil guy that’s very true you know what god that was a great i What do you think, drifter? Cut through the forest. All right, this horse that I’m not going to name because I’m afraid it’s going to die. Well, actually, which one do you want? Do you want the orange horse? Okay, the orange horse is yours. All right, I guess we saddle on up. Well, actually, I don’t know if they have any saddles. Also, how much does that run us? Checking the logs.
Aragorn: Oh, yes.
Aragorn: What is our stallions, butter?
Aragorn: Uh huh.
Aragorn: Uh huh.
Aragorn: Orange.
Aragorn: Orange.
Aragorn: Orange.
Aragorn: Oh, you’re talking about a very light brown, like… Oh, okay.
Aragorn: Okay.
Aragorn: Ons.
DM: Yes, yes.
Aragorn: Alright, so do we, do we know where we’re at? And then we were trying to go to… We can go through Intellectio. Alternatively, and now. We’re cutting through the forest. We’re cutting through the grass. How much did that run me? I don’t believe so.
DM: Uh, you guys are currently chilling, like, right here at the entrance of Disernia, because there was a stable just right there. Jubicaus would be your final destination. Alternatively, you guys could cut through the forest. I mean, there’s no rules that you have to. I mean, I don’t know, but if you cut through here, you’d save a lot of time. I mean, it’s up to you. I’m pretty sure we discussed that last time you already subtracted it, so we’re just going to. Oh, we didn’t.
DM: OK.
Aragorn: Okay.
Aragorn: I think so.
DM: I don’t.
DM: Yeah, I thought so.
Aragorn: I don’t.
DM: I thought so.
DM: I could have sworn.
DM: We said something like that. It’s not like it has a stinking audit log. Unfortunately, the recording died, so I don’t know.
Aragorn: Let me check.
Aragorn: I we did not we did not.
DM: We didn’t?
Aragorn: Now.
DM: Okay. Fantastic. Makes life a little bit easier. That would be… Horses are usually… Are you serious? Okay, so that would generally be like 150, but you’re a smooth talker, so you got down to 125 for both. For both. That is under your features. It is part of… I think it’s part of Chronosha? I don’t remember.
Aragorn: How much help how much.
Shain: Oh.
Aragorn: How much.
Aragorn: No.
Aragorn: Each.
Shain: Oh.
Shain: For both.
Aragorn: Okay.
Aragorn: Oh, for both.
Shain: You really smooth talk. You know their language. The Cernanese. The Cernanese. The Cernese.
Aragorn: Damn.
Aragorn: I guess so. Sure.
Shain: Okay, cool.
Shain: We make our way through the forest and I will. I did take a long rest, didn’t I?
Aragorn: Yeah.
Shain: I did.
Shain: I am going to zap myself with the spell and I forget what I need to roll now because I haven’t had to do this in a minute. First, let me actually remember what gift of alacrity does. I think it adds to my initiative rolls, right?
Shain: Right?
Shain: A 1d8. So let me roll now. And then what’s the thing that when I cast a dunamancy spell, what’s that? No, temporal strain is the other one. This one is, I’m pretty sure…
Aragorn: Okay.
DM: Hang on.
Shain: Oh!
Shain: I roll a d6.
Shain: No!
Shain: Yes. Wait, it’s in my bag. I remember it’s in my bag. It’s the dohic ahedron. One second. Dohic a-ha-dron?
Aragorn: No, no, take a huh? No, don’t take a huh?
DM: On a one, roll a percentile die.
Shain: Dohic a…
Shain: Dohic a-ha.
Aragorn: Oh.
Shain: Uh, yes. Alexa Beacon. When Gaskin’s gonna do an extra fail, first roll a d12 on a one on a percentile die. Wait, roll a d12 and a one roll percentile die on Dunamancy random effects table. Oh, got you. Okay, so, hey Andrew, can you roll a d12 for me? Just don’t get a one. Just don’t get a one.
DM: Let’s roll it off.
Aragorn: okay Butter, should I be worried? That’s not, I don’t want to hear, it should be fine. Rolling the dice of infinite pain and torture. Oh, well that’s great to know. Wish I would have known that before.
Shain: You don’t- Yay!
DM: Yeah, it should be fine.
Shain: Nothing happens. Blue energy goes wub wub wub wub wub.
Shain: No.
Shain: It should be fine.
Shain: It should be.
Shain: We don’t know, though. Dies. Yeah, pretty much. I’m pretty sure that was the same thing that turned me into an old man. 99% sure. Yeah, that’s all right.
DM: Yeah, it was. Alrighty, you’re cutting through the woods. Can I get you guys to roll a wonderful d100 for me?
Shain: All right.
Shain: We cut into the woods. And select.
Aragorn: Why?
Shain: A D1.
Aragorn: Why?
DM: Why?
Shain: All right, Andrew, we roll half the die. You roll the Andrew, you roll the D10. I’ll roll the the other half.
DM: For funsies!
DM: Just the one.
Aragorn: Both of us?
Aragorn: Oh okay.
DM: Just the one.
Aragorn: D10?
Shain: How about that?
Shain: Yeah, you need you need a detail and then I’ll do the percentile.
Aragorn: Sure.
Shain: Cool.
Shain: OK. All right. 60.
DM: I’m so glad to hear it.
Shain: Oh, boy.
Aragorn: I got a 10! But I got a 10!
Shain: So it’s 60 and then whatever the percent would be. So that would be what? 10, 6, so. I’m trying to remember how percentile die works. One second. 6, 0, 10 would not make sense. 10 is a 0 in percentile, so it’s a 60. Pretty sure it’s a 60 because there is no 0 on the percentile die. I don’t think there is. Yeah, so now it’s 10 is a 0, 60, so it would be 60 on the dot. I dap up Andrew. I dap you up.
Aragorn: Thank you!
DM: Okay.
Aragorn: Why?
DM: Correct.
DM: Correct.
DM: Okay, so you got 60. Let me, let me reference.
Aragorn: What?
Aragorn: What? Oh shit, I dabbed you all back.
Shain: Yeah.
Shain: I don’t know how to dap anybody, but that’s okay. I don’t, I don’t, I have nobody in my generation that does that here.
Aragorn: What?
Shain: No one.
Aragorn: That’s sad. You gotta teach your colleagues how to dab. Well there, we uh…
Shain: You mean my five year, my five year old students?
DM: Oh, gosh.
Shain: I don’t even know how to do.
Aragorn: Uh huh.
Aragorn: I uh, I joined a gang up front at checkout, so um, pretty much our like, our gang sign is the M&M hand forward. Here, let me see if I can find it.
Shain: Oh, oh, oh.
Aragorn: Um…
Aragorn: It’s, so we quite literally um, pretty much just do this.
Aragorn: Oh, what?
Aragorn: Oh.
Shain: Oh, sorry, I couldn’t recognize the input device.
DM: Okay.
Aragorn: Oh.
Aragorn: What?
Aragorn: Hello? There we go. So we just do this to each other. We quite literally, you have to do it with the right hand. If you do it with the left hand, it’s a slur. Yeah, yeah. So, so like if you ever come to my work and then if you’re ever like up front at the self checkout and you ever need help. Yeah, you just got to do that. And it’s got to be serious face. If you do it with a smile, they’re going to be like this pussy. They’re going to be like this guy. You’re going to look hella weird, dude.
Shain: Try again.
Shain: Oh.
Shain: Oh, yeah, yeah.
Shain: Oh.
DM: That’s good to know.
DM: Thank you for the heads up.
Shain: Just do that.
Shain: And they’ll know.
DM: I see.
Shain: This guy needs to die. Yeah, that’s fair.
Aragorn: Yep.
Shain: Good.
Aragorn: Just so you know, I joined a gang at Walmart.
DM: I’m glad to know. I really am. Okay, I do apologize. I got very, very distracted, which happens all the time. So you’re going through the woods here, according to the wonderful spreadsheet. Yes, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz. You guys begin your wonderful trek into these woods. After your very peaceful and relaxing journey through the grasslands, you get to the woods as you begin to cross through. The trees are relatively close together, but not uncomfortably so. You’re able to squeeze through pretty decently. Even with your horses, it’s not uncomfortably close. As you guys continue, it is about noon at this point, but things seem to be getting darker and darker the further you go into the woods. That’s, that’s really, you know, learning, uh, you know, a, um, a, thank you, alarm, Fluxy, can you, um, not, a spider, I see, I see. Um, but yeah, not necessarily alarming, per se, um, it’s just getting a little bit darker, maybe there’s some clouds out or everything, uh, it’s not, the sky isn’t super clear as the, these trees are tall and hanging over your head, so it kind of makes it difficult to make out exactly what’s happening, but you’re pretty confident it’s probably just This is a cloudy day.
Aragorn: Yeah.
Shain: Yeah. Mm hmm. Oh, Oh, alarming. Sorry, man, I, I’m making. I’m making a spider see. Yeah. Nothing. Pretty confident. Oh, okay.
Aragorn: No, no, fair enough. According to the wonderful Wizard of Oz, because because because of the wonderful takes that he does.
Aragorn: Right.
Aragorn: OK.
Aragorn: Ocean.
Aragorn: Wow, flux, wow.
Aragorn: What are you?
Aragorn: What is going on?
Aragorn: What the fuck? I closed my character scene. I just see that. Super clear. Yeah, we love a confident king. Anyways, let’s kill this motherfucker from those very indecisive butter you’re telling us we’re about to do something?
Shain: You’re very confident.
DM: Pretty confident.
Shain: Yeah. Who was like.
DM: Can I get a perception check real quick?
Shain: Hey.
Shain: From us both.
DM: Ah!
Shain: Okay.
DM: Probably both of you. I didn’t say nothing, man. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Alright. You guys hear some leaves brussel to the left of you. But you don’t see anything, and whatever it was quickly moves away. As you continue.
Shain: I almost said insight. I’m inciting the trees.
Aragorn: Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Aragorn: Bird.
Shain: 19.
Aragorn: That is a 16.
Shain: 19.
Shain: Crunch crunch crunch.
Aragorn: All right, all right.
Shain: Mm-hmm.
Aragorn: Uh-huh.
Shain: I don’t like that.
Aragorn: So.
Shain: No, you said it with a smile. I think we’re going to head back.
Aragorn: No, I think we’re going to head back. Yeah, uh, this was all nice and fun. Um, see ya!
Shain: Screw that.
DM: All right.
Shain: Now we, we send it.
Aragorn: Bye-bye!
Shain: Bye bye.
DM: All right.
Aragorn: Yeah, we’re, we’re, we’re, we’re going forward.
Shain: Yeah, we’re sending it.
DM: Are you guys continuing to turn it back?
DM: All right.
Aragorn: What, you think we’re pussies?
Shain: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Aragorn: Huh?
Aragorn: Huh?
Aragorn: We’re burning!
Shain: We’re men.
DM: As you guys continue down this path. It seems to be getting darker and darker eventually to the point that it seems as though it’s nighttime.
Aragorn: I think so. Oh, no.
Shain: Oh, Oh no.
Shain: Oh no.
Aragorn: Oh, well, no.
Shain: If you could see my face. If you can see my face. Shane being very cautious, he will. He’s going to send his bird around the area to scout all directions.
Aragorn: Flex, I blame you. This is your fault. Crows are non-nocturnal. They don’t fly around at night, actually. Crows are actually day creatures, so, um, fuck you.
DM: Okay.
Shain: Yes. Uh-oh.
DM: Okay.
Aragorn: Shut up.
Aragorn: You should set it on fire. Make it a light. He’s going to say slur.
DM: Okay.
DM: As you send your bird up and watch through its eyes, you notice that there are a, I don’t know the correct terminology, so excuse my incorrectness, but a flock of bats heading your way As it, as they begin to charge at your bird.
Shain: I teleported back. Hey, Drifter, there’s some bats. Let’s just park our horses over at the, like, this area and just, uh, relax. I don’t know, they seem a little aggressive. My crow just on my shoulder.
Aragorn: Oh, okay.
DM: Okay.
DM: As you hear, weeks of the bats overhead looking for the flying creature that was there just moments ago.
Aragorn: Fair enough.
Aragorn: Right.
Shain: Why do bats like birds?
Aragorn: Well, that’s not at all bad.
DM: No sound.
Aragorn: I don’t know.
Shain: What’s that about?
Shain: I don’t I never studied a lot of animal biology, but like, what?
Aragorn: Maybe they’re hungry.
DM: No sound.
Aragorn: Don’t question me.
Aragorn: What about bird stuff? Did they queer?
Shain: Ah, the dick.
DM: Eventually after a while, the bats seem to go on their way.
Shain: Oh, yeah, let me take our long rest. I just realized, could have could Andrew have technically attuned to the luck stone?
DM: No sound.
DM: No sound.
Shain: Yeah.
DM: Yeah, yeah, you guys could have a tune to those during the, I’m sure. Sure, sure, you don’t have time to do much else, but you could do it. Yes, yes, yes. Well, as you guys hear, wolves howl in the distance.
Aragorn: Luckstone?
Aragorn: When did I get a Luckstone?
Shain: I gave it to you yesterday. Well, in game yesterday.
Aragorn: Did you?
Shain: Yeah.
Aragorn: Oh.
Shain: I traded it to you and I said here, buddy. Does that mean I could have done my ring of spell storing? Not that I can do anything with it yet.
Aragorn: Hello.
Aragorn: I don’t remember this.
Shain: Yeah, that’s good.
Shain: That’s good.
Shain: That’s good.
Shain: Good. That’s that’s fine. I do. And but it does. All right. Anyways, I guess as long as we’re going to run away, actually. As soon as you click on Foundry, and you’ll get you’ll get it. You’ll get why.
Aragorn: Yes, yes.
Aragorn: We’re running away?
Aragorn: Why?
Aragorn: Running in fear means that we know that they’re there.
Aragorn: Oh, okay.
Shain: I didn’t play.
Aragorn: Why?
Aragorn: I clipped on Foundry. No. Well, I have it muted. Well, hey now, that’s…
Shain: Oh, that’s fine.
Shain: I hate this isn’t good.
DM: Yes.
Aragorn: not very nice.
Shain: Yeah, I’m pretty sure horses are like you know, good meat for them. So let’s not lose the horses we just bought or you just bought. Yeah, but still, we shouldn’t be burning money like it’s.
DM: You guys. Um, during your contemplation of what to do next, you realize that you’re pretty close to halfway through the woods. At this point, it would take about as much time to go back as it would to push forward.
Aragorn: I mean, they were quite cheap.
Aragorn: I’m known to burn my money.
Shain: Yeah, she’s.
Shain: No.
Aragorn: No.
Aragorn: I guess we’re pushing forward. What if we run into a canyon? You never know.
Shain: I can.
DM: The canyon.
Shain: I can.
Shain: Yeah.
DM: That checks the world map.
DM: Yeah!
Aragorn: You never know.
DM: There could be a canyon in here!
Shain: Oh my gosh, wait.
Aragorn: Listen, magical forests do exist.
DM: That’s what these trees are here for actually. They’re to hide the canyon that I plopped there for funsies.
Aragorn: Scram, get out of here. You’re raw dogging it.
Shain: Magic mouth allows me to basically just put a recording on an object. Does my horse have like a saddle on or anything?
DM: Is that a saddle on it?
Shain: What do I?
DM: No!
DM: Oh, a horse. A horse, yes, the horse has a saddle. I’m sorry, I was talking about your bird. I was like, why would your bird have a saddle? Oh, my gosh.
Shain: No.
Aragorn: Does your bird have a saddle?
Shain: I should make.
Shain: Wait, wait.
Shain: What happens if I like got in large reduce and I reduce myself, put a saddle on my bird and I could fly. Anyways.
Aragorn: No.
Aragorn: You can turn yourself into a dinosaur.
Shain: Because I’ll put magic mouth.
Aragorn: Why do you need a saddle?
Aragorn: You can turn yourself into
Shain: I’ll just record a thing on it and just say, whoever finds this horse run for your life. And I’ll set the trigger to be anyone that says horse in a radius around it.
Aragorn: a dinosaur. Why do you need
Aragorn: a saddle? I’m sorry, what?
Aragorn: Horse. Who wield the power of haunts? Take this lightly. We’re gonna, we’re gonna, we’re gonna move. Hail Hydra- ah sorry, wrong, wrong chance.
DM: I love it.
DM: For the record, I really thought you were going to go down the route of, uh, whoever shall hear this message shall they be worthy will wield the power of a horse. All right, so you guys just darting through the, uh, through the woods with the reckless abandon?
Shain: Power of course.
Shain: I was thinking about it and I’m like, nah. All right.
Shain: Here we go.
Shain: We’re going to, we’re going to, we’re just going to zip.
Shain: We’re going to power.
Shain: We’re going to go.
Shain: Where’d you go?
Shain: Yep.
Shain: I mean, yeah, I’m I am good to just go. I don’t know about y’all. I think we, I think we just book it, book it, like straight up speed.
DM: Whoa!
Aragorn: Sorry.
Aragorn: I’m good to, I’m good to shmooove. Straight up?
DM: All right, in that case, um, you guys start going through the woods at breakneck speed, as fast as you can reasonably go. This would be a little faster than just regular walking pace, but not necessarily a full gallop as you’re still trying to weave through the tree trunks and other such obstacles in the way. As you come across a sound coming from up ahead to the right of you, it sounds It sounds like a thump over and over again, as if something’s hitting something else. It’s not necessarily too loud, but you can definitely make it out. As you guys continue moving forward, because for some reason you guys are terrified of nothing. A character, he’s very strong. Very, very strong. He’s the pride of Russia. I sure hope not. As you guys continue, okay, as you guys continue forward, and the sound grows louder, you can just hear just thumps constantly at a regular interval. But slight variations between how loud or the exact sound makes you think that there is something or someone behind the noise, not a naturally occurring noise as would be like dripping water or something.
Shain: Straight up!
Shain: Nuh-uh.
Shain: Uh-huh.
Shain: Yeah.
Aragorn: I don’t like loud noises.
Shain: Mm-hmm.
Shain: Uh-oh.
Shain: Huh.
Shain: I don’t like this.
Shain: I don’t like this.
Shain: I think we just push on and pretend it’s not there. Just don’t make eye contact.
Aragorn: I make full, I, no I’m sorry. I disregard what he said.
Shain: Oh no!
Shain: I will not make full eye contact.
Shain: I will not make full eye contact. That’s not true. I feel like my character is strong. Okay, he can handle whatever you throw at us, Galt.
Aragorn: I will not, I will not.
Aragorn: Anyways.
Aragorn: I said we.
Aragorn: Mm-hmm.
Aragorn: Hey, well, now, that’s not fair. Why’d you say that? My character is strong.
Shain: My character is very strong.
Aragorn: Mm-hmm.
Shain: He can handle anything that you throw at him.
Aragorn: He’s very strong.
Aragorn: A twig breaks up.
Shain: He’s very Musk, if you know what I mean.
Aragorn: Heh heh.
Aragorn: He’s Emon Musk! No, she is surprised. Slave owner!
Shain: Hi, Elon Musk.
Shain: Uh oh.
Shain: Air Hydra.
Shain: Air Hydra.
Aragorn: Ring ring ring!
Shain: Air Hydra.
Aragorn: Oh, okay. Well, that’s not…
Aragorn: Kanye?
Aragorn: Heh heh.
Shain: Hmm.
Aragorn: Heh heh. Perfect.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: Uh oh.
Shain: Yeah, I’ll, I’ll slow my horse down and just kind of like put my hand out there like, and get like pull the horse close to Andrews character and be like, Hey, um, see the deeper we go. The more I realized, I think we made a mistake.
Aragorn: Eh.
Aragorn: We can’t head back.
Shain: But at the same time, no, no, no.
DM: New line.
Aragorn: Heh heh.
Shain: But at the same time, we’re already here.
Shain: I’m kind of curious on what it is, to be honest with you.
Shain: I mean, what, what’s the worst it could be?
Aragorn: A human eating cephalopod. Whatever that word means. You’ve seen worse!
Shain: Right?
Shain: It’s from I’ve seen it. I’ve never seen a character winks. I mean, we did find it, whatever he was. God quotation marks. However, yeah, fake God still, he hurt a lot. I know because I almost died to him. However, I think we should check out what this is really just really quick just because it’s piqued my interest. It could just be a bunch of miners swinging pickaxes on a rock.
DM: New line.
DM: Oh my gosh. It’s hard to place as the trees are almost making the sound echo. It could be around the next tree. It could be, you know, a couple hundred feet down. You’re not really sure. Have that knowledge of what? The only thing is that you can only place it one time, it doesn’t say that it can move. Stealthy bird. Ooh, ooh, ooh, we love stealthy bird. Go ahead and make a stealth check, please. Okay, as you send them up to begin looking around, you hear off in the distance, the bats squeak as they begin to, the squeaks get closer and closer. Before your bird can get too far, the bats are practically on top of your bird. Yes, yes, usually speaking, they would be faster. It’s not for now.
Aragorn: Aha.
Aragorn: I’m sure you’ve thought worse too. A fake god. The children yearn for the mines.
Shain: I don’t know.
Shain: I don’t know what kind of.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: I will then just I guess. How close do you think we are to that sound, Mr. DM?
Shain: Sorry.
Shain: If only I knew if I just looked up in the sky at the darkness and hit a Dispelled Magic, but see, my character doesn’t know that. Also, I don’t know if that would even work. But his charac- he doesn’t have that knowledge.
Aragorn: I mean, you should try it.
Aragorn: But like, you never know. Can’t wizards just gain it? Is this like a like a purple dark or like a dark dark? Oh, planes, trains and automobiles. That’s just our imagination. Don’t you have to use it in a certain way though for it to work?
Shain: Aww.
Shain: You said that it got really dark when we entered the area, right? Which implies the curse. This is like night time. Yeah, and the wolves and the bats and all that stuff. I feel like it’s not real, but, but, but. What if I use clear buoyance and I scout around? Would that even matter? Would that be more effective? No, it was just a, uh, you create an invisible sensor within range and a location familiar to you, a place you visited, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You can put it thing. Like you can put it behind like doors around corners. Um, Oh yeah. You right though. It’s basically security camera. Okay.
Aragorn: Oh, okay.
Aragorn: Nevermind.
Aragorn: Oh.
Shain: Then nevermind.
Shain: I guess I’ll just send my bird around and see if I can find see anything. However, I would like the bird to be stealthy bird.
Aragorn: Oh.
Shain: If possible.
Shain: Stealth bird.
Aragorn: I’m actually eating that. Dude, what a crazy stat block, dude. I mean, you could try.
Shain: Birds.
Shain: This guy’s got a plus two to stealth. No way.
Shain: You know what?
Shain: Let me get my, my crow die. Oh, that’s, that’s a straight 11 with mods. That’s a good 13.
Shain: No, no, no.
Shain: Isn’t my bird faster than the bats? It’s flying at 100 feet per second, right? Why does it take the dash action over and over to do 200 flight speed? Hmm, okay, then I just teleport him away. If possible.
Aragorn: Yeah.
DM: So…
DM: Valid, valid attempt. Unfortunately, that also doesn’t seem to do much.
DM: Okie dokie, okie dokie, okie dokie.
Aragorn: Vietnam.
Shain: Why can’t I use my stupid bird?
Shain: These bats?
Shain: I’m gonna kill them.
Shain: You know what?
Shain: Fireball the forest!
Shain: I hate nature.
Aragorn: Um.
Aragorn: You hate what?
Shain: Nature.
DM: Ah, don’t say that.
Shain: Why don’t I polymorph you into a bat and you act like, wait.
Aragorn: Okay.
Aragorn: Hey, well, no, that’s not no. I want a different person. I know what the race is.
Shain: How about you go join them?
Shain: Too bad now you’re stuck with me in the middle of the forest of dark woods. Uh, why are there, what is this? What, what’s happening here?
DM: Huh?
Aragorn: I don’t know.
Shain: What, why is there so much snow and bats and why are the bats everywhere?
DM: I don’t know man.
DM: Hallelujah, man.
Shain: Why, why are the bats everywhere?
DM: This is crazy. What a nature guide he says. Claw marks and trees and such. I mean, it’s pretty clear that this is a very lived-in environment. A very actively lived-in environment.
Shain: Uh oh.
Aragorn: He doesn’t know, bro. Oh I don’t know Thank you very much.
Shain: Um, cool.
Shain: You know what?
Shain: I can’t do anything. Do you have any, like, better ideas? Like, do you have a general thing, Drifter?
Shain: Do you know, like, nothing?
Shain: Yeah.
Aragorn: Okay.
Shain: If I, like, I’m not a very good expert when it comes to forest or tracking or anything like that, but if I were to try and look at the ground and see if there are any signs of animal activity of any type, I’m not really being anything specific. Maybe, like, if a deer came through, like, bark off a tree, or footprints, or I guess footprints, whatever, like, just looking for generalized things that show life.
Aragorn: Okay.
Aragorn: New line.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Shain: Okay.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Shain: Well, I don’t know why there are bats.
Shain: I mean, I guess they’re here but why do they want my screw them?
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Shain: You know what I mean?
Shain: Like, we’re just trying to pass through.
Shain: I don’t want to either.
DM: …
Shain: Like, let’s get them.
Shain: You know what?
Shain: We’re fine.
Aragorn: You know what the fuck being pussies, I’m a penis, let’s keep going.
Shain: If something bad happens, I can just boost you up.
Shain: Let’s go.
Shain: I get on the horse. I say, let’s get it and just rush forward. Hey, hey, my character is still new in life. He’s got a lot to learn. He’s got a lot to learn, and he’s got a lot to learn, and he’s got a lot to learn, and he’s got a lot to learn, and he’s got a lot to learn, and he’s got a lot to learn, and he’s got a lot to learn, and he’s got a lot to learn, and he’s got a lot to learn, and he’s got a lot to learn, and he’s got a lot to learn, and he’s got a lot to learn, and he’s got a lot to learn, and he’s got a lot to learn. Okay, yeah, that’s that’s fair. It’s there.
Aragorn: Okay.
DM: That sounds like a really bad idea, but okay!
Aragorn: Don’t be too rash.
DM: …
Aragorn: Apparently.
DM: Alright, as you continue heading forwards, you can kind of see through trees at a source of light. There seems to be a green light of some kind. It’s not enough for you to really see through the trees enough to see what exactly is emanating this light. You can just see the green light. Are you guys going to head towards the green light? Or are you guys going to try and avoid the green light? It also appears to be the source of the sound. As at this point you’re about here. Well, it’s relatively bright.
Aragorn: Right.
Aragorn: I don’t know either.
Aragorn: I say we look at it.
DM: It’s not.
Aragorn: I get high beams dude.
DM: It’s definitely not, you know, as bright as like high beams on a car, but it’s it’s brighter than a torch would be. Sorry, I just got done trying to get people are idiots. Alright, slightly nudge the green light. Okay, just to be clear, I’m basically I’m you know how whenever there’s a source of light but it kind of bounces and scatters and so all you see is green light you can’t see the actual origin because it’s bouncing around trees. That’s what I’m trying to say. Okay. As you get closer eventually, which by the way I just have to point this out because this was completely unintentional but my father pointed out every time, this lake here looks like a witch on a broom. I had to point it out because I don’t know why, it’s just now I can’t unsee it. Anyways, you guys finally get closer and closer, you’re now in the green light and as you peer through the trees you can finally see the source as there’s about a 50-foot magic circle inscribed on the ground emanating green light very brightly from each corner as there’s a structure with a crystal inside just shining with the brightest light you’ve probably seen come from magic. Up to the side there is a black hat with two magical hands floating above it carrying bags of some type of powder in them towards the center of the circle. In the center of the circle there is currently a woman in a long black gown facing away from you. In her hand is a large axe as she is cutting what appears to be a body. At every swing the body kind of twitches. Unfortunately, from what you can tell, yes. I’m going to need y’all to make a stealth check real quick.
Aragorn: Jesus.
Aragorn: Fuck it.
Aragorn: It’s a fucking like the RAM tries to dodge RAM.
Aragorn: Dodge RAM.
Aragorn: RAM here.
Aragorn: Thank you very much Thank you very much.
Aragorn: you New paragraph.
Shain: What kind of room?
Shain: What kind of room?
Shain: What kind of room? .
Aragorn: Party.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Shain: Thank you.
Shain: .
Shain: Oh, no.
Shain: I’m a fan, I’m a fan.
Shain: Mmm, definitely not who I think it is. A human body?
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Shain: Gold.
Shain: Let’s get out of here, man.
Shain: Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no worries.
Aragorn: What do you mean, hell? I’m there with you. Uh, that is a 23.
Shain: Andrew, help.
Shain: Help.
DM: Help! If anything, help would be disadvantaged.
Shain: Help. Help. Help.
DM: You guys are riding horses. Be lucky I’m having you roll a flat stealth. A 23 and a 22.
Shain: That is a 22.
Aragorn: What do you mean?
Shain: What do you mean?
DM: Hmm.
DM: Well, hang on, hang on.
Aragorn: Mmm. Mmm.
Aragorn: Mmm.
Aragorn: Mmm.
Aragorn: Mmm.
Shain: I can’t.
DM: Hmm.
Aragorn: Mmm. Thank you.
Shain: That was me.
DM: As you guys look at this in horror, the woman looks up and stops swinging her axe and immediately turns her head and stares directly at you guys. And then she just kind of slowly forms a big smile.
Shain: I just have it ready.
Aragorn: Thank you very much.
Aragorn: Thank you.
Aragorn: Thank you.
Shain: Yeah.
Aragorn: You She doesn’t see us.
Shain: I point at me. I point, like, I’m not going to move but I just, like, point at me.
Shain: Too bad.
DM: What do you guys do?
Aragorn: No, maybe she’s a nice old lady.
Shain: Is she hat, wait, hang on.
DM: It looks like an evil grin, as though she just found the next people to begin to cut up. She finishes turning around and begins to very calmly walk towards you all with a sinister smile on her face as she begins to cast something with her right hand. Unfortunately, you guys are quite far away actually. You guys would be about 70 to 80 feet away. You guys are, yes. Yeah, you saw a black cat with what seemed to be mage hand or some other spell assisting it. As far as you guys can see, it’s just her and the cats. But something does kind of feel off about the whole situation.
Shain: Is she a…
Shain: Okay.
Shain: Well, unfortunately…
Shain: Drifter, I don’t think…
Shain: You see how she’s got that over, like, the teeth are, like, up above her cheeks? Yeah, that’s what we call in the business, run. So, we should get out of here. That, or we can try to kill her?
Aragorn: I mean…
Aragorn: Hey.
Shain: Womp, womp.
Shain: Polymorph, go!
Aragorn: Oh, damn.
Shain: Can I, can I target her for Polymorph, please?
Shain: Please?
Shain: Oh, that’s fine.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: Are we still on our horses? Was that, do I have like the ability to take like 20, well, because this has 60 feet of range on it. So like if I can get within that range or radius, like within the quick second, is that like going to be enough time? Also, I just realized something. Is she the only one? Because you also said there was a black cat like chilling, but basically with magic hands. OK, then before I guess I’ll before if I decide to be like, hey, Drifter, I’m going to give you an option. You can go in there and kill her with your little machine gun slicing thing that I can give you, or I can turn her into a mouse.
Aragorn: I mean, either one works.
Shain: It’s up to you.
Shain: How about we go with how about how about you show her what real chopping is like and I just haste him. I’ll put a hole. arrows and it still wasn’t enough.
DM: Thank you very much With our what?
Aragorn: Whatever you think is, uh…
Aragorn: Okay, okay, okay.
Aragorn: Well, now…
Aragorn: Can I shoot her hands with my bow and arrow? With my bow and arrow, can I shoot her hands?
DM: Um…
DM: I thought you traded your bow and arrow for um… I could have sworn you traded it for passage. Oh, you’re right, you’re right, you’re right. Sorry, that was a possibility of you doing that, but you guys ended up taking the job instead. Apologies. Yeah, you could totally shoot if you wanted to try that, yeah. Okay, the twenty-five hits.
Aragorn: Did I trade it?
Aragorn: Was it passage? Because I thought we got the jobs for passage.
Aragorn: Yeah.
Aragorn: Right.
Aragorn: No, you’re all good.
Aragorn: Yeah!
Aragorn: Okay, well.
Aragorn: Maybe not that much.
Aragorn: Wow.
Aragorn: Awesome.
Aragorn: And eight.
Aragorn: But, I have another. Twenty-five!
Shain: It’s That’s a crisp knife.
Aragorn: Nine!
DM: Go ahead and roll damage, I guess.
DM: Nine damage.
Aragorn: Mm-hmm.
DM: Whoo!
DM: And is that it?
Aragorn: Yep.
DM: Alright.
Aragorn: That’s all I want to do for now. Okay, well now…
DM: As you release the arrow, it flies, and she dodges to the left in almost an inhumane way. However, you do hit the cat behind her. As the cat calls out, heels over, and dies. As the woman hears the cat’s cries, she turns around, stares at the cat, and rushes to its side as the spell that she was casting finishes. The magic circle begins to pulse as the body begins to rise and be reformed from the body parts she had cut off. As what now stands before you appears to be a zombie, but reformed in different ways. Where normally is just a humanoid being, it seems to be on all fours. With an extra hand poking out the back.
Shain: Oh, she’s upset.
Aragorn: Oh.
Aragorn: Oh god, what have I done?
Shain: Yeah.
Shain: nothing.
Shain: Shoot it again.
Aragorn: Fluxus is your fault.
Shain: I’m sorry, man.
Shain: You gotta do.
Aragorn: This is all Fluxus fault?
Shain: Oh, no.
Aragorn: Are we right?
Shain: Yeah, that’s that’s that’s that’s that’s that’s it.
Aragorn: This is old.
Shain: Mm-hmm.
Aragorn: Oh, because why not?
Shain: Hmm.
Shain: Mm-hmm.
Shain: Ah.
Shain: Yeah.
DM: For funsies, you know?
Aragorn: Yeah.
Shain: Fireball!
Aragorn: Yeah, yeah. You have to tell me twice. I got… I got a 19, but uh…
DM: It’s gonna be at this point that I’m gonna have to ask for an initiative rule. Day 19.
Shain: Yes, sir. You didn’t have to tell me twice.
Shain: Yes.
Shain: Hey, listen, she asks for this. She dodged and it killed the cat. Okay, that was her fault. She should have took the arrow. Let me just do this. Sorry, I’m, I need to roll that and I need to roll on top of that.
DM: Okie dokie.
Aragorn: Yes, sir.
Shain: So here we go.
Shain: Oh my gosh, no way. So it’s 14 plus 7 plus 13. That is math 1926 I guess right? Yeah, it’s a 26 in total.
Aragorn: Beautiful.
DM: Yeah?
Aragorn: Beautiful.
DM: Just give me one second because unfortunately I kind of oopsie daisy forgot about this. Kind of need a battle map to see what the crap we’re looking at. Okay, sure, at the end of the line that works. Makes it easier for me anyway. Yeah, seeing is not believing, you know?
Shain: No worries.
Shain: Uh oh.
Shain: Oh well, we don’t need one. We could do theater of the mind. Plus like if we’re gonna die, we might as well not see what it is, right?
Aragorn: All right.
Shain: It’s like real life.
Shain: It’s like real life. You’re going to die. You’re not going to. Or maybe you will.
DM: Alright.
Shain: This is me.
Shain: Star Wars, vibes, movement, the inch of free movement.
DM: So, hang on, hang on. So do this, I kind of have to do it like this, which is not a problem.
Aragorn: All right.
Shain: Oh, they’re coming Andrew. They’re coming.
Shain: I’m a cyberpunk war. Yes. Yes. That is exactly what we want in a medieval setting. I think travel war will be fine. Oh, that gives me good vibes. Oh no, you’re good.
DM: Cyberpunk war.
DM: Let me be honest, I do apologize. I have not had much time to actually sit down and put stuff in Foundry. So all that I really have is like the character sheets on my notes. I don’t even have it in Foundry, so I apologize. However, what did you guys roll again? 26 out of 19.
Aragorn: All right.
Shain: Nah, you good, Jenna.
Aragorn: I rolled a 19. I guess so.
Shain: I rolled a 26. All over the stupid thing I can’t ever, I can’t manually put it in. Zombie and a witch. Hey, luckily you killed the cat, Andrew. And it was a magical cat. You must, it must have been a magical cat because it had magic hands. Okay, so it means it means it was probably, you know, dangerous. You know, it’s better to justify than to take responsibility.
DM: Okay.
DM: Yeah, I’m sorry.
DM: You hope.
Aragorn: Yeah.
DM: You hope.
DM: You say justifying your actions.
Aragorn: Well, no.
DM: Okay.
Aragorn: I don’t think that’s how that saying goes. I don’t think that there’s a saying period.
Shain: Can I?
DM: Sure.
Shain: Can I, uh, chronal shift my entire life, please?
DM: Um.
DM: Anyways, as we begin combat, it is your turn, Shane Adron. You are about 60 feet away from the zombie, about 70 feet away from the witch. You guys are still on your horse, yes. A horse generally has a movement speed of 60 feet. Unless you guys think opposite for the gigantic super speed horse. Okay.
Shain: Cool.
Shain: Okay, am I still, are we still horseback right now? How much horse, or, how much horse movement speed, wow. How much movement speed does a horse have?
Aragorn: Okay.
Shain: 100?
Shain: 120? Okay, I thought I went way faster than that, but that’s fine. Um, well, of course, but f1 55 show. I say horse. No, no, no, no. See, I, I immediately just say horse and magic mouth triggers. And, yep. Free action. Free action.
Aragorn: What’s our horsepower?
Aragorn: What?
DM: Yep.
Shain: Horse.
DM: Free action. You get a slight monologue about a horse. Yes, they’re about 10 feet away from each other.
Shain: Yep.
Shain: And then to scare, that was to scare him. I’m going to use a fireball? Wait.
Shain: Yeah, why not?
Shain: We’re going to use a fireball. It’s 150 range. Can I hit both of them in a 28 foot sphere? I’m assuming yes.
Shain: Alright, fireball.
Shain: And I snap my finger and do like the, I don’t know if he’s played Valorant, but like the Phoenix flash. It goes around the corner. I got to roll some, some deeps. I can’t play some patient measure thing. Let me just do damage fast.
Aragorn: Okay.
DM: Okay.
DM: All right.
DM: There we go.
Shain: Go!
Shain: Go!
Shain: Oh my god.
Shain: Go!
Shain: There we go.
Shain: 32!
Shain: The sea just got hit by a nuke!
Aragorn: Yeah.
Shain: Sorry ocean!
DM: All right.
Aragorn: Are you able to do the ocean?
Shain: I missed!
DM: With a 32. You are able to see this. Hang on a second, attributes.
Shain: I’m gonna have to make a dicks.
Shain: I’m making a dicks!
Shain: What?
Shain: I’m making a dicks, bro.
DM: Text save.
DM: Okay, yeah, they both horribly failed the save. As they both take 32 points of damage. Whole stack right there, sir. You did half a stack of damage. Feel good about yourself. Whenever the fireball explodes and starts to burn the rotting flesh off of the zombie, it seems unbothered, as most zombies are. However, the witch, while she is hurt by the fire, her clothes seem unscathed, as though they have perfect resistance to fire magic. Okay, that’s something. Can you repeat that please? Okay, I think that’s correct.
Shain: Yeah!
Shain: Yeah, that’s 64.
Shain: 64!
Shain: That’s a whole stack of damage!
Shain: Yes, sir.
Shain: Yes, sir.
Aragorn: Okay.
Shain: Half a stack.
Shain: Half a stack.
Shain: Oh, yeah, yeah, that’s true. Yeah, that’s fair. Well, how about I use a transmutation point and change it into a water-based spell, so I drown you in your own saliva. Uh, sorry, just had to…
Aragorn: Oh, okay. Yeah, she is.
Aragorn: Yeah.
Aragorn: What?
Aragorn: I’m gonna drown you from the inside, lady.
Shain: I’m gonna try to bring you inside.
Shain: I said that to someone before, but not in that way. Alright, alright, I’ll calm down, I’ll calm down. I will, uh, take my horse movement speed, uh, and I’m pretty sure I’m not mistaken. You will, I can rule check this, but I’m 99% sure horses can take dash actions on the corresponding turn of the player riding it. 99% sure. I can look it up. If not, I’m just gonna, basically what I was saying is, if I’m not mistaken, horses count like they’re on your turn if you’re riding it, right? But I’m 90% sure it can take the dash dodge or disengage action that doesn’t actually take your action. It’s because it’s the horses.
Aragorn: What?
Aragorn: No, that’s crazy.
Aragorn: What?
Aragorn: No, that’s crazy.
Shain: Right?
Shain: I believe because I remember I was going to make the character a long time ago and I just didn’t want to bother with it. Um. I’ll just check this for work because I don’t know. And the horse can use that can it controlling rather a rider can also attempt to remain control the mount. Oh, yeah, because if the horse gets hit, you have to make a D.C. check.
DM: Okay.
Shain: Yeah.
Shain: OK. So, yeah, that is within. At least I’m not sure that’s within the rules. That’s fine. I’ll just have the horse dash and 60 times choose 120. Right.
Aragorn: No, that’s crazy.
DM: Yeah.
DM: Yep.
Shain: Yeah.
Shain: So he goes up 120 feet the other way.
DM: Oh, you’re running. You’re spacing.
Shain: Wait.
Shain: Yeah. Just no, no spacing. Spacing. OK, not not spacing.
Aragorn: Oh, so you’re leaving me. I was about to say, like, dude. Butters basically saying stop being a dick bag and help me.
Shain: No, no, no.
DM: Okay.
DM: Well, you’re spacing into the forest.
Shain: OK, maybe not 120.
Shain: How about we get a safe?
Shain: How about how about how about a safe? How about a safe 60?
DM: Okay.
Shain: We’ll take that.
Shain: Yeah, that was just we’ll end the turn. How about a safe 45 feet away?
DM: Okay. Now, I will remind you that because the forest is so dense, 60 feet away, you wouldn’t be able to see her anymore. How about if you want to be able to still see her, like, no more than 20 feet away? No, you have two options, run or fight, you can’t choose both. Of course you can. So, is that the end of your turn? You are now 90 feet away from the creature, 100 feet away from her. The witch, angered at your measly fireball.
Shain: Fine.
Shain: I’ll let you have that one for a low price. But I can just different.
Shain: Your last or.
Shain: Mm hmm.
Shain: A smell.
DM: I’m sorry?
Shain: Oh, nothing, nothing.
DM: Okay, that’s what I thought. Angered at your measly fireball, her clothes begin to give off smoke as she begins to cast a spell. Are you gonna let her do that? Oh, I didn’t even think about the range of Counterspell. What is the range of Counterspell? Counterspell, yeah, 60 feet. Oh wow, I didn’t even think about that, man. I’m just so used to me saying literally anything to do with magic, it just…
Shain: I mean.
Shain: I’m pretty sure that counterswell can’t reach that far anyway.
Shain: I don’t think.
Shain: Yeah, right, I think it’s 60, so it doesn’t even matter. Yeah, no, I don’t. I gotta be within range. So unless the thing has about 100 feet of range on it.
DM: Counterspell!
Aragorn: God damn.
DM: Okay. They create a kind of, for lack of my own brain’s creativity, a Minecraft Ender Dragon summoning ritual, where it kind of combines to the top. And it begins to form a large ball of fire, as a fire elemental takes shape. He’s here now. However, the witch, seemingly exhausted by her actions, falls to the ground to one knee, as she seems to be struggling to breathe. Adagorn Mortensen, it is your turn.
Shain: Thank you very much.
Shain: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shain: Oh, that’s cool.
Shain: Oh.
Shain: Tell her.
Shain: More insane.
Aragorn: Ah.
Shain: You’re still hasted. You got three attacks, an action surge, battle master, great weapon master. You’re gonna kill everything. If you action surge. Yeah, you might want to either kill the witch or the fire elemental. I think the witch might be. 30 feet, 40 feet. Oh, you can reach that. Your movement speed is doubled with haste. Oh, you don’t even need to play any attack. Depends on the ones you selected. Pause. Raw attacks.
Aragorn: You’re right, you’re right, you’re right, you’re right, you’re right. So how many attacks do I get?
DM: Okay.
Aragorn: Six?
Aragorn: Yeah, so I’m going to accent surge, right? And then I’m going to take minus five to all of them. I’m going to use the fainting attack on four of them. Like, you already know, I’m going to charge at the zombie. So like, this is, oh, there’s a fire elemental. Where’s the witch? Where’s the witch at? Okay. Are you going to charge the witch and attack her six times?
DM: Okay.
DM: What’s my guy’s hat?
DM: The witch is, from where you are, that would be 70 feet from you.
DM: Okay.
DM: As she is currently taking a knee, you get advantage on all attacks. If you’re pulling up on her, you get advantage. She’s not holding anything directly. There is an axe by her side that she let go a little bit ago.
Aragorn: Oh, it’s out.
Aragorn: Nah, I’m out of it. Which other attacks do I get with Battle Master? That’s awesome, because I don’t remember. Oh, here it is. She’s not holding anything, right? I. OK, so then, yeah, I will just. I mean, butter, can I add my superiority die to the damage roll regardless? And still, it still uses it, but.
DM: Um.
Shain: What if you can?
DM: Uh, sure.
Aragorn: OK.
Aragorn: So sex attacks, because, like, obviously I get advantage, so it’s up to you.
DM: Yeah, sure.
Aragorn: OK.
Aragorn: All right.
Aragorn: So it’s minus five on all of them. I get six attacks. Where’s my flashlight?
Shain: Oh.
Aragorn: Because it’s super fucking dark in here.
DM: Yeah.
Aragorn: Alright.
Aragorn: So it’s a fifteen? A fifteen hits?
Shain: Okay.
DM: A 15 does. Hi, listen.
Aragorn: Okay.
Aragorn: I’m going to… So, in game rules, I’m only doing it to do damage, pretty much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, we’re going to do that, and then we’re going to hit the damage. So that’s 14 plus 10, so 24. So, 24. Are you writing it down? Because it’s going to be a big number. Okay, okay, okay, okay. 14 plus 2, so 16. So 18 points of damage on that one. So it’s going to be 24 and 18, yep.
Shain: Okay.
DM: Okay.
Shain: Mm hmm.
DM: I I am actually asked. 24 16.
Shain: Mm hmm.
DM: It’s in.
DM: Mm hmm.
Aragorn: And then…
DM: It does, yes. Okay. Anyone do this? She’s an awful witch, but I regret to inform you that unless I just wanted to arbitrarily give everybody super squishy amount of hit points, most people aren’t stinkin’ gods with a thousand hit points. My guy’s so, like, energetic and patriotic going to kill a woman that’s on her knees struggling to breathe. Please tell me you’re just looping her, like, on the horse, just back and forth.
Aragorn: That is 19 hits, I’m assuming.
Shain: Mm hmm.
Aragorn: Okay.
Aragorn: And then that’s going to be a 17.
Aragorn: Oh, that’s it?
Shain: You didn’t even need the action search dog.
Aragorn: Oh, you know what?
Shain: You never even use your action search yet.
Aragorn: Fair.
Aragorn: I’m going to charge fully head-on into battle as a leader. Sword casting outward. I’m like John fucking Snow from Game of Thrones.
Shain: Yeah.
Shain: Yeah.
Shain: Yes.
Aragorn: And then…
Aragorn: Yep.
Shain: Oh, no, no, no.
Aragorn: Yep, yep, yep.
Aragorn: I’m going to…
Shain: She, she was slicing the body though.
Aragorn: Oh.
Shain: She ain’t a woman.
Aragorn: Yep, yep.
Aragorn: I’m going to slice her right arm off. And then go back, slice her left hand off. And then slice her head off.
Shain: Good.
Shain: Good.
Shain: Yeah.
Aragorn: Yeah.
Aragorn: Yeah.
Aragorn: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
DM: It’s beautiful.
Aragorn: Oh, hell yeah.
Shain: Yeah.
DM: Fantastic. Congratulations. Yeah, she’s dead. Yeah, the fire elemental is still up. He is only 10 feet away from you. The zombie and the fire elemental are currently in basically the same space.
Aragorn: Yep.
Aragorn: And that’s it, yep.
Shain: The fire elemental still up.
Aragorn: OK, cool, cool, cool.
Shain: Well, that’s fine.
Aragorn: Flux, that’s what you think. I can’t I can’t really do anything against him. Really, is a zombie still up? We’ll go to the zombie. We’ll go to the zombie. Yep, I still have three other attacks. These I will use fainting with, so I get advantage on. Because I didn’t roll with superiority die on the last three. I always roll damage before I use superiority die. So, feinting is pretty much, um, you get advantage. That’s pretty much what it is. Yeah, so, yeah, so, pretty much, you can expend one superiority die and use a bonus action on your turn to feint. So, yeah, so pretty much I can do it once.
Shain: I got him.
Shain: Nah, you can swing a sword and hit him.
Shain: Yes, sir.
DM: Okay.
Shain: Yes, sir.
DM: Sure.
Shain: He does.
DM: Okay, okay. Now, what is the I do not know the exact thing of a feinting attack.
Shain: You like spend a superiority die to gain advantage on your next attack.
DM: Okay.
DM: All right. No, it is currently on all fours with an extra hand out of its back, essentially. However, you don’t just automatically get advantage. I, even though it’s on all fours.
Aragorn: Yeah.
Aragorn: And then, uh, it’s not holding anything, right? Okay, okay, okay.
Shain: The head.
Aragorn: So…
Aragorn: Right. Right, right, right, right. Um, so, I rolled an 18 plus 2, so that’s a 20.
DM: He’s a 20 to hit.
Aragorn: Um, yeah.
Aragorn: And then I’m still doing the minus 10s. Uh, yeah, the minus 5s, not minus 10s. Jesus Christ, imagine. Uh, so nigh- Yeah. Okay, uh, so that’s a 19. And then this is the one that I’m gonna use fainting on. Um, does a 15 hit?
Shain: Imagine.
DM: Okay.
DM: Yeah, that’s. It does not. Sorry, slight, excuse me. As you go to make this attack, and you miss as he kind of dodges out of the way, he uses the hand mounted on his back to attempt to grab it. And can I please get a contested strength check, please? Strength check. Seven.
Shain: No.
Aragorn: Okay.
Aragorn: Oh.
Shain: Don’t you go away, let me just check the haste real quick. Just double checking Don’t you go away, let me just check the haste real quick. Just double checking Oh god, it’s only for dexterity saving throws, you have advantage. Is he within chronal shift distance? Actually no, I don’t think you charged a little further. Yeah, no you’re not.
Aragorn: Yes.
Aragorn: Yes.
Aragorn: Saving thrower check. That would be a 7.
DM: Okay.
DM: Hang on.
DM: Wait, because I wrote these rules.
DM: Hang on.
DM: Okay.
DM: Yeah, he did.
DM: He’s currently 70 feet from you because you decided to back up. Unfortunately, the zombie is able to kind of grab hold of your sword as his hand begins to glow green and unfortunately since you’re not able to get your sword back, you either have to let go or end your turn here.
Aragorn: Okay.
Shain: Ugh, okay.
Shain: Hmm.
Shain: I’ll hang on to that sucker. I’ll hang on to it and I’ll take care of it.
Aragorn: What do I do?
DM: Okay.
Aragorn: Okay, yeah, I’ll hold on to it. I trust you. You fuck me here, I will kill you. Mentally. Oh, well now that’s racist.
Shain: Resist!
Shain: Resist! Let’s hold it.
Shain: I hope. It’ll be okay.
DM: It is now the zombie’s turn. As he’s essentially holding onto your sword, it prevents basically you and the horse from moving. Well, I mean, you could move, but he’s still holding onto your sword, so you’re gonna be bringing him with you. The zombie begins to slash as his front hands have abnormally long, would appear to be claws from a bird of some kind as it’s slashing at the hind legs of your horse, ripping it to shreds as the green light coming out of its top hand that’s holding onto your sword begins to pulse even brighter as it Here’s where the zombie was. As the fire elemental looks down and sees the abnormal situation, he instead looks over towards Mr. Shane Everon as he kind of moves forward in almost a snake-like pattern, leaving a trail of smoke as he takes his barely formed fist and holds it back and throws what appears to be almost a fireball at you, Mr. Shane Everon. It’s like a little and another, and another, and another, as he throws five of these fire bolts towards you. What’s your AC again? Well, you tell me.
Shain: Let’s hold it.
Aragorn: Oh. Oh, that’s not. Yeah.
Aragorn: Well, mmm-mmm.
Aragorn: Yeah, I’ll keep holding on to it. Fuck it.
Shain: Hold on.
Aragorn: Mmm.
Aragorn: Damn.
Shain: No!
Shain: No!
Shain: Oh, that’s okay. I didn’t get another one.
Aragorn: Yeah.
Shain: No, it’s not.
Shain: Nope.
Aragorn: Yeah.
Shain: Above half of Drifter.
Aragorn: Oh, my God.
Shain: It’s okay, you got a plus two AC on top of what you have normally. Which I hope is high.
Aragorn: Yeah, that’s right.
Aragorn: Yeah.
Shain: You can’t save me, you can’t save me.
Aragorn: Oh.
Shain: Smokey snake.
Aragorn: Oh.
Aragorn: Oh.
Aragorn: What is?
Shain: Mm-hmm.
Shain: It’s like a little fire bolt.
Aragorn: Thank you.
Shain: He’s got like a little shoo!
Shain: Yeah, yeah.
Shain: Uh, 13 but can be higher if need be. Which I think I might do.
Shain: Yeah, I’m definitely.
Shain: Uh, I’m definitely gonna do that. So, plus 5, so 14, 15, 16, 17. Yeah, I have an 18 AC.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
DM: 18 AC.
Shain: Yeah.
DM: Okay, and is that for all attacks? These are individual attacks.
DM: Okay.
DM: In that case, only one of them hits you. As you, my good sir, take 10 points of fire damage. The elements will just kind of rest for a second as he kind of dims from throwing out that much fire all at once. Mr. Shane Everon, it is now your turn. You do have a horse, and as we all know, horses make water. The horse cast create water. But hey, you got water walk, I mean. I believe I saw this one, sorry. Okay, a 22 wow. Oh yeah, I keep forgetting.
Shain: HUH!
Shain: Ow!
Shain: Not my clothing!
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Shain: I really wish I had a cold spell. I’d like to look up there and I don’t have any cold spells. That’s fine, though.
Shain: You know why?
Shain: Because I have a horse.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Shain: Are helpful.
Shain: Yes!
Shain: Uh, horse, make some water real quick.
Shain: Yeah!
Shain: That’s an amazing horse. Great deal. See, I’m slightly in a predicament. I could do two things. I can walk on water, but I can’t shoot water. Yeah, but like, I wanna kill it. Just because it’s annoying. We’ll take a fitty, fitty shot at it. Can I just like, chronable up to, we’ll say, we’ll say third level. Alright, let me actually just make sure that I have a spell slot for that so I can click the button, make it easy, and I don’t have to do anything stupid to just hit that. It just spells a lot, yes. Alright, I do how many attacks for one each hire you get an additional, so that’s five attacks, right?
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Aragorn: New
Aragorn: paragraph. New
Aragorn: paragraph. New paragraph.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Aragorn: Engage.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Shain: Yeah.
Shain: All right.
Shain: First one for the fire elemental is also to add my attack bonus here. One momento for the border. Plus eight to attack.
Shain: Dang.
Shain: Okay, that’s a 22.
Aragorn: New paragraph.
Shain: Oh, wait, sorry.
Shain: Wait, these don’t these are just instant hits.
Shain: Oh, yeah, it’s a role.
Shain: This is basically just magic missile.
Shain: I also have to roll it.
Shain: I also have to roll.
Shain: Andrew, can you roll a D 12?
Aragorn: Thank you
Shain: Please?
Shain: This would be a really bad time for it to happen. Any color, just the color. The color doesn’t kill me. Yeah, the shiny red one.
Aragorn: very much. Thank you.
Aragorn: Thank you very much Hmm, the color that doesn’t kill you. I think a shiny red should die.
Shain: Yeah, we’ll be okay.
Aragorn: But guess what?
DM: Okay, 23 points of faith, okay.
Shain: Oh, good.
Aragorn: The shiny red one does not exist and it leads well forward.
Aragorn: So, you get a shiny gold. Oh my goodness, that’s a seven.
Shain: Okay, we’re sick. 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 23 points of force damage on the guy, on the fire elemental.
Aragorn: New line.
Shain: Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
Shain: And then… I don’t think I have any bonus action, anything. That’s like the issue with Wiz, you know what I’m saying? I don’t think I even, like shield of faith, yes, Con, and I don’t wanna, I could, could I misty step the horse with me to, to drift her? I don’t think I could.
DM: No, I’m pretty sure you have this like one bonus action, but it’s like completely useless in combat.
DM: Bonus action.
DM: You have shield of faith, power transfer, and misty step. I don’t believe so. By the way, I don’t know if I ever told you this, but where it says search spells, there’s a little filter button. You can press it and press bonus action to you’re going to take the disengage action and then rush towards him.
Aragorn: New line.
Shain: Ah, that’s cool.
Shain: All right, then I guess I will use the horse dash action. Sorry. Horse disengage action. Then bust a move over to Andrew’s character as fast as possible and get to him as quickly as I can. Just rush towards a drifter to see if I can, if I need to like pull him off the basically dead horse at this point. If I can get to him that is. Yeah, no, I just I’ll be near him.
Aragorn: New line.
DM: Okay.
DM: You can get to him, but since you already used your action, you can’t really like do anything physically to help him. But you’re there now. So that’s cool. Oh, the witch is dead.
Aragorn: New line.
Shain: Yeah.
Shain: Hey, Howdy, man.
Shain: Oh yeah, Yeah metal Three attacks, three attacks, three attacks.
DM: The witch is dead.
DM: The witch is dead.
DM: It is now your turn, Arrogant Mortensen. You may make another contested strength check against the zombie if you would like to try and pull your sword out the dice the dice the dice will tell the past the present and the future as well a dirty 20 the hand that’s gripping the sword begins to pulse more green as though it’s ready to release something but just in the nick of time you pull your sword out cutting its hand off Of course you do. However, only because you have multi-tax stuff, so that takes place of one of your tax. A 14 doesn’t, no.
Aragorn: Yep.
Aragorn: Oh my goodness, that’s a dirty twenty, butter. Filthy, dirty, slaggy twenty. Do I get to attack it or does that take my action? Oh my gosh.
Aragorn: Right.
Shain: I didn’t do that, I didn’t do that.
Aragorn: Okay, so two.
Aragorn: I’m fine with that.
Aragorn: I’m fine with that.
Aragorn: Look, you’re too bad.
Shain: Murder him, murder him now.
Aragorn: A fourteen does not hit.
Shain: Uh, hold, hold, cronal.
Aragorn: But.
Aragorn: What?
Shain: Shift.
Aragorn: Oh, oh.
Shain: You get to reroll it.
DM: A 17 does not hit.
Aragorn: Buttered does a seventeen hit?
Shain: What?
Aragorn: Nah, nah, you’re cheesin’. You’re cheesin’, dude. You’re fucking cheesing. Anyways, that’s a nineteen hit.
Shain: What?
DM: 19 hits. 19 damage, alright.
Shain: Watch this breakpoint be 18. Beautiful 18.
Aragorn: Yeah!
Aragorn: It probably is. It’s gonna take seventeen damage! Did I? Yeah, I’ll take an opportunity attack. Okay, yeah, I’ll get on Flex’s horse. Oh, Schmoove. No, I don’t think it does either.
Shain: You know, get on my horse.
DM: Okay.
DM: Um.
DM: Do you have anything else you want to do or is that it for you?
Shain: Just don’t get hit. You’ll be fine. You have HP.
DM: Yeah, you.
DM: You.
DM: What?
DM: Free opportunity attack? Yes, please.
DM: Mm hmm.
Shain: See?
DM: Never mind. I don’t think in that one hits.
Shain: Nah.
Shain: You know what?
Shain: Chronal shit.
Shain: I’m just kidding.
DM: Okay.
Aragorn: Hey, it’s my friend!
Shain: All right.
Shain: All right.
Shain: Oh, mine has fallen through the river.
DM: Well, you know.
Shain: Yeah, what is he going to do?
DM: Well, you may have avoided his opportunity attack, but it’s now his turn as the now enraged zombie who is lacking his top hand and is slowly bleeding out of the orifice. It doesn’t really matter too much because it’s a zombie, but you know. He kind of turns towards Mr. Shane Everon. He crouches down and lunges at you. Can I get a Constitution saving throw from you, Good sir? Alright, let’s see, that plus that. Okay, a 19. Then you take 28 divided by 2. So you take 14 points of damage as the zombie lunges at you with his claws forward. It’s taking a swipe at you, but you’re able to pull back so it doesn’t hurt too bad. But there is now a rip in your claws towards the front where his claws just went through you. As he turns around and claws at your leg. Now this is just going to be a plain attack. This is a 16 hit. Alright, that’s going to be… If I roll one more now, I think I’m going to go insane. You take one damage, as he cannot seem to attack very well. It is now Zephyr Elemental’s turn. As he turns around, sees that you are still alive, but notices now that the witch is gone. As he apparently hadn’t noticed that before. Now realizing that there is nothing tying him to this place anymore, he turns around and flies into the sky.
Shain: What is he going to do?
Aragorn: No, it doesn’t.
Shain: Good luck.
Shain: Oh, a call.
Shain: Luckily, I have a plus three in there.
Shain: Uh, let’s…
Shain: Andrew, do I use the liquid dice that you better gave me or do I use my good old reliable? Okay, I got a reliable. Oh my gosh.
Aragorn: You use whatever is good.
Shain: Oh my gosh.
Shain: Uh, 19.
Aragorn: No, it doesn’t.
Shain: Well, dang my drip.
Shain: Yeah.
Shain: Ow, my ankle.
Aragorn: No, it doesn’t.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: Yeah.
Shain: Disappear.
Shain: Okay, goodbye.
Aragorn: Well, um, we just destroyed the city. Hey, butter. Was this a little guy? Okay, that’s awesome.
Shain: That’s fine. It’s just an elemental. It’s a little guy. He’s just no, no, no, no, no. Is he bigger than other?
DM: Yep.
DM: No!
DM: Uh, he is a large creature, I mean. This guy was like… Like, this guy, he’s… Hang on, let me look at the step block. Yeah, he’s like 12 feet tall. And about as wide as he is tall as he is very wide reaching arms. So, good luck. So, so wait, I’m sorry. Let me just get this straight. We’re leaving the fire elemental to do whatever the crap it wants. And the zombie creature that was giving you guys trouble just to do whatever it wants.
Shain: Fine.
Shain: Is it Shaquille O’Neal at least?
Shain: 1211.
Shain: Okay, so he’s a little guy.
Aragorn: Okay.
Shain: My brother is wide.
Shain: Ina, it’s someone else’s problem. Could have been anybody. We saved, you know, he did it. All right, so I’m going to control the haunts. And Andrews on the haunts. Right. Like, hey, Drifter, you want to leave?
Aragorn: Yes, sure.
Shain: OK, sure.
Shain: Can I get the. Hey, that’s got no master anymore.
DM: Fair enough.
Shain: It ain’t over.
Shain: You know what?
DM: Fair enough.
Shain: Not as as as the horse leaves.
Shain: Wait a minute, I just realized. The zombies under a spell, basically, right? Essentially, at least from what I can tell. Yeah, yeah, of course, because the arcane runes and all that stuff. But like, reasonably, my character could believe that it’s possible.
DM: That’s an assumption.
Aragorn: Thank you.
DM: Uh-huh.
Shain: What if?
Shain: What if?
Shain: Hear me out.
DM: What if?
DM: What if?
Shain: Oh, hear me out.
Shain: Question with the, uh, The nethery’s box that Maurice gave me. Is that a pocket dimension or no?
DM: Then Deathly’s box is just a regular frickin’ box.
Shain: Or is that regular?
Shain: Okay, I was just wondering because sometimes people like to do that in general. Um, okay. I was thinking about turning him into a small creature, throwing him in the bag of flocking out with them. I kind of want to do that, but I don’t think that’s going to be good. It’s also kind of bad just having the apocalypse in the palm of my hand. I think I will just shoot a little, um, a nice, fair, misty bullet of a chronobolt, which will be second level, because why not? These will hit. So let me just target the zambi. It’s gonna be, that is four, that is five, that is also five, that is what was that 15 force damage is he looking is he looking a little upset or is he still chilling okay okay well drifter i think this is someone else’s problem because we can go to your king yeah see ya dude and uh i’ll disengage the horse and shah mush and yeah i guess that’s my turn because horse because the other horse is basically dead there’s nothing we can do for it it’s probably actually like at this point within the last The last couple of seconds of combat is probably at least dead, if not close to.
Aragorn: Thank you.
DM: What if?
DM: Thank you very much.
Aragorn: Thank you.
DM: Thank you very much.
DM: You Do you- He’s definitely not down.
Aragorn: Thank you.
DM: Okay, yeah.
Aragorn: Of course, of course, of course.
DM: Um, well, as you guys are leaving and you turn back, the zombie is feasting off of the horse as it is dying. So yeah, it’s gonna be dead shortly.
Shain: Good.
Aragorn: Thank you.
Shain: Oh God, at least will be out of its suffering soon. But hey, we made it out.
DM: Guess what, guys?
DM: You guys are about to get some XP.
Shain: Oh,
DM: I’m just kidding, no you didn’t.
Shain: what? What?
DM: I lied.
Shain: What?
Shain: What?
Shain: What?
Shain: What?
DM: Yeah, you guys successfully finish your journey through the woods with no more interruptions. As you guys exit the other side, the darkness begins to resend as it appears to be about give or take 6 pm. So it’s not pitch black like it was in the forest, but it’s still dark. The sun’s already set. You’re now illuminated by moonlight, but you guys are just outside the edge of the city.
Aragorn: Thank you.
Shain: What?
Shain: Oh, here we are. After our whole journey and escapade and whatever we just, yep, whatever that was, at least the witch is dead. I’m assuming whatever place that was, that was the only witch there, hopefully. I agree, hopefully there’s a nice place here. I’m assuming Intellectia is a very nice place because outside, ooh, where? One is beautiful.
Aragorn: Thank you.
Aragorn: You know what?
DM: You’re now illuminated by moonlight, but you guys are just outside
Aragorn: You know what? You know what? I say, we deserve something to drink.
Aragorn: Butter!
DM: the edge of the city. You’re now illuminated by moonlight, but you guys are just outside the edge of the city.
DM: Yes.
Aragorn: Fashion store, where? I need new wares.
DM: Fashion store? As you enter this bustling, extremely large city, you notice off to the side a newspaper that has miscellaneous stuff on it. But on the last page, there is a map of the city. Welcome to the largest city in the world, Intellectia. You guys are currently here. And as amazing as I wish this could continue, unfortunately, I have to wake up really, really early and I’m very, very tired.
Aragorn: Oh.
Aragorn: Ooh.
Shain: Uh oh.
Shain: Yes!
Aragorn: Yeah!
Shain: Yes!
Shain: Currently.
Aragorn: Ah!
Shain: We made it to New York!
Shain: This is definitely not good. Yeah, that’s fair.
Aragorn: Oh.
Shain: Okay.
Shain: No, you’re good.
Aragorn: Holy shit.
Aragorn: Oh no, here we go again.
Shain: That was a good place to end anyway. However, I will say before, like, we completely end, I will just, if Drifter lets me, just basically send a message to the boys that, hey, we made it finally to, nope. Intellectia. And basically checking in on how things are going. That’s essentially what I would say. Yeah, I’m about to go look for the biggest, juiciest spell scrolls with 3k I got in my pocket.
Aragorn: Yeah.
Aragorn: Uh-huh.
DM: So, what.
Aragorn: Now I’m about to get fucking dripped out, dude.
Aragorn: Oh my god, yeah, we have.
Shain: So much money.
Aragorn: Oh, dude.
DM: For the record, there were about 1,001 ways for that not to have happened, but you guys were like, nah, we’ll just make that happen anyway. We’ll just take all of the gold and the mysterious stinking green emerald that was chilling in the captain’s quarters. Alright, I guess I will see you guys next week, Wednesday.
Aragorn: Dude, honestly, thank heavens people died on that boat, dude. Thank god, butter. I’m so glad that you decided to slaughter them. Thank you. Thank you.
Shain: I know, I know.
Shain: You know what, those polar bears?
Shain: Uh-huh, and I got a free bag of holding out of it.
Aragorn: Yeah.
Shain: But I wanted the green one wrong. Yes sir, stay safe, have fun, enjoy your time.
Aragorn: Alright.
Aragorn: But I don’t think we can get this job.
Aragorn: Alright.
Aragorn: Yes, sir. Bye bye.